It's based on an RP I'm doing with Contemptus. Except that version is much worse. It's got so many twists and the pairings change with every sentence. It's gone from MelloxOC/MattxOC to MelloxMatt and MattxNear and NearxNear, and all sorts of mindfuck in between.

It's also a quarter to two in the morning, so if you find anything that's spelled wrong or is incoherent let me know and I'll fix it.

The first two lyrics at the top and the lyrics at the end are from Blue burns Orange from Hawthorne Heights. -wanders off for some tea-

Twenty-Five and Six are obviously OCs, but they're not that important, really.

Bleed these colors open wide
Burning blues from butterflies


"You're going to martyr yourself for someone who's going to throw you away the second he decides you're no longer useful to him."

Matt paused for a moment, before glancing back over his shoulder. "Yeah. Yeah, I am."

"You're a fucking idiot. He's never going to love you, Three. You're a tool to Two."

"I know."

"He loves Six. You're not Six. You'll never be Six."

"That's fine, Twenty-Five." He hefted the backpack over his shoulder and slid out the door. Twenty-Five didn't stop him.

The apartment building went up in flames an hour later, lighting up the New York dawn.


"M. It's N. I want you to work for me." Matt shifted his grip on the cell phone and tongued the cigarette between his lips for a moment, rolling it to the other side of his mouth before he answered.

"Fuck off, N. I'm not going to betray M."

The sound of legos falling on the other end almost made him laugh. Trust Near to do business and not put away the toys.

"M doesn't trust you."

"M doesn't trust you, N."

"Perhaps. But I need you."

It was a circular argument, really, and Matt snorted. "You don't need me, N. You're the new L. M doesn't need me either." How many times had Twenty-Five said the same thing and he'd argued that Mello had needed him?


Click. He didn't want to hear it anymore. He started the car, and the engine roared to life before he tore out of the driveway to the apartment he shared with Mello. One last stop before he met the blond and they went on their suicide mission.


"You're going to kill yourself for Two." She'd followed him and Mello to L.A.

He sipped the coffee in his hand and took a drag from the cigarette. "Maybe."

"You are." She shifted to finish her coffee. "Make it count, Three. Do something epic, something people will talk about for years."

He watched her toss the empty styrofoam cup into a garbage can before he nodded. Yeah. He'd die for Two, but for Twenty-Five he'd die with a smile and one last "fuck-you" to the world. "I'll go out in style," he answered after a moment.

She smiled. "Then I'll wait for the bang, Three. Just leave me something before you go."



"M. It's M. You ready?"

"Yeah, M. I'm ready."

"Where's your goggles?" Mello asked, eyeing him closely. Matt shrugged.

"I lost 'em. Got a spare pair in my car. Let's go."


Thirty something bullets and he'd gone down. But he was smiling, because maybe it wasn't the bang he'd promised, but it was close enough and Twenty-Five would be proud. One last drag, and he couldn't breathe, the world faded.

And somewhere miles away a number mourned as the alphabet lost another letter.


Dear black goodbye (Goodbye)
Don't forget to write
Your name inside (Goodbye)
Of my life