Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Note: So I recently got into Once and Again, but all I could do was watch any little clip I could online, which wasn't too much, over the 3 seasons. So I read as many synopsis's as I could also. And guess what? I got addicted. Then I found out about the whole Jessie/Katie relationship and squealed. I was saddened to learn that the show was canceled before Jessie and Katie could come out and their story be explored, and in my OCD awesomeness, I went crazy and decided to write what I think could have happened. Now if you've read my other fics, you'll know I love angst, so be prepared. Also, because I couldn't exactly watch all the episodes, I should warn that the characters may not be in complete character so if there is any OOCness that people catch, please forgive me. This start of the story takes place right after the events of the "Gay-Straight Alliance" episode.
There was a knock at the door which brought Jessie out of her trance she had been in, "Who is it?" she called out from her bed where she laid for nearly an hour since Katie had left after their talk of admitting their feelings for each other.
"Come in!" she called out as she sat up. When she saw the figure of the older girl walk in she said, "Hey."
"Hey." Grace stood silently for a moment, surveying the room around her before sitting on Jessie's chair. "So," Grace began.
"So," Jessie repeated. The air between the girls beginning to tense.
"Uh," Grace closed her eyes for a moment, then continued, "I can guess you and Katie fixed whatever was wrong between the two of you, huh?"
"Uh, yeah. You could say that."
After a beat, "Can I ask you something?"
Knowing where this conversation was going, Jessie cautiously replied, "Uh, okay."
"What's going on between you two?"
"What do you mean?"
Grace laughed, "Don't play coy, Jessie."
Knowing she was stuck, and not really having the energy to struggle with Grace, Jessie responded, "Well, we talked."
"And," Jessie blushed a little, "And we, well I kissed her."
Grace's jaw nearly dropped, "Really? You?"
"Yeah. Surprised me too."
"So, what does this mean between you guys?"
"Well, uh," Jessie hesitated, unsure if she should tell her step sister. Though in reality, Jessie knew it was Grace who had helped put her feelings for Katie in perspective. Could she be able to tell Grace? Their relationship wasn't the best, however, Jessie did feel positive and she wanted to keep this feeling; she decided she would tell Grace, after all, she knew she would need a confidant, "We're girlfriends now. We had a talk and she's taking me out on Friday for a date." Jessie smiled a big and bright million dollar smile.
"You're first date, right?" Grace raised an eyebrow.
"Um," Jessie hesitated, "Yeah."
"That's cute. What are you going to wear?"
"Uh, I don't know yet." Then a thought struck her as worry washed over her face and down her entire body, "Uh, Grace?"
"Don't worry, I won't tell Rick or my mom."
"Thanks." Jessie smiled a truly genuinely happy smile.
Four months later
It had been an amazing mid August day, Jessie had spent most of this Friday just hanging out with Katie. The two still going strong as best friends and girlfriends. Jessie sat at the head of her bed, her back leaning against the headboard holding a book in her hands that she hadn't even glanced at, too focused on watching Katie, who was laying on her stomach near the foot of the bed flipping through the pages of a magazine. A small smile crept onto Jessie's face as she tossed the book to the floor, shifted her body then flung herself onto her stomach, landing partially on top of Katie's back.
The older girl smiled and laughed as she turned her head to face her girlfriend, "And to what do I owe the honor of this interruption of this amazing article I was completely enthralled by?"
Without saying a word, Jessie smiled and promptly placed a chaste kiss on Katie's lips and held it there for a moment before pulling away.
"Mmm," Katie began, "Interruption welcomed." Katie turned her upper body and torso to face Jessie as she placed a hand on her face, moved a strand of hair away from her face, then kissed Jessie, this time with more emotion and more passion. Both sets of lips danced together for several seconds before Katie's tongue darted out, licking Jessie's lips. Jessie at the same time opened her mouth to allow Katie's tongue entrance into her mouth, allowing her to explore the inside as she has done so many times. Soon their kiss intensified as Katie slowly rolled herself partially on top of Jessie. Stopping, Katie pulled her face away and looked at Jessie and smiled, "You are so beautiful." When Jessie smiled, Katie leaned down and once again kissed Jessie, supporting herself on her elbows, in perfect rhythm. Both girls were so distracted, so intensely kissing, neither one heard the knock on the door, nor the door opening, nor the foot steps entering the attic. They did however hear someone clearing their throat. At this particular interruption, Katie, being as flimsy as she is, flung herself off of Jessie so hard and so fast that she rolled herself off the bed completely landing on the ground with a painful sounding thud.
"Wow," a voice belonging to Grace said, with a hind of amusement, "Did you ever hear of a lock, Jessie?" A small grin grew on her face.
"Erm, yeah," Jessie replied.
"Then use it. What if I was my mom? Or Rick?"
"What a way to have a heart attack, huh?" commented Katie as she emerged from the floor, "Finding out I'm violating his daughter, he'll probably hunt me down for sport or something."
"Unlikely," Jessie interjected, "He likes you."
"As I said, I'm violating his daughter," Katie smirked.
"You guys with your lovey dovey crap, it's stomach turning it's so cute," Grace commented. She smiled then remembered why she had come up after seeing Jessie expecting eyes, "Oh, my mom and Rick wanted to know if you guys were okay with Chinese for dinner."
Both girls looked at each other then back at Grace and nodded.
"Great. I'll leave you two alone now." Grace turned and began to walk away, then stopped suddenly, "Remember, lock!" she called before exiting the attic, grinning.
Jessie threw herself down onto her bed and buried her face in her pillow while Katie rose and brought herself next to her girlfriend placing a hand on her back, "What's wrong?" Katie asked as she caressed Jessie's back.
Jessie smiled and once again buried her face and chuckled, "Nothing," she mumbled, "Just that," she lifted her head, a blush evident on her face as she looked at Katie, "Never been caught like that before." Katie responded with a laugh, then Jessie continued, "Imagine if it was my dad? Heh, guess I wouldn't have to worry about how to come out, huh?"
"Guess not." Katie smiled and leaned in to kiss Jessie, "Now, where were we?" she asked and hovered over Jessie, kissing her once again.
After about 40 minutes had passed, Jessie and Katie fixed the bed and their hair before heading down stairs. A heavy make out session could really mess up a person's appearance. Once down, the girls were met with an expecting family getting set to eat.
The meal was typical and consisted of small talk of how the summer was going for everyone, hopes of the oncoming year and the like.
"So, Katie," Rick started, "Are you planning on college?"
Wiping her mouth with a napkin she replied, "Yeah. Not sure exactly where I'm going yet, probably somewhere local for the general ed. After that, dunno yet. My ambition hasn't hit me hard enough to motivate me to plan that far ahead."
"Oh. So then no idea what you plan to major in?"
"Well, I'm leaning on creative writing or, I mean, English Literature. But then again, business is in the family, both my parents are pretty successful in that field. Or I might just be a nurse like my brother Kyle is. Honestly, I have no idea. I'm just gunna spend my senior year thinking about it."
"That sounds swell."
The meal continued much the same, but what the family didn't see was what was happening under the table; Katie would occasionally tickle Jessie's leg with her foot causing the younger girl to giggle at inappropriate times. The family would stare strangely at her, Grace would smile knowingly at Katie while Jessie would grow flustered, "Um, sorry," she'd mutter. Other times Jessie would gently brush her hand over Katie's below the table and the two would link their hands and rub each other's with their thumbs.
When the meal finally ended, everyone respectively cleaned their area. Lily turned to Katie and asked, "Katie, should we assume you're staying over?"
"Uh," Katie turned to Jessie and was met with hopeful eyes. She smiled and returned her attention to Lily, "If that's okay, Mrs. Sammler."
"Of course, we enjoy your company."
In the kitchen, Jessie and Grace were washing dishes together as Katie and Eli gathered trash and began to dispose of it outside.
"So," Grace began.
"Katie's spending the night again?"
"Looks like," Jessie replied, trying hard to cover up the annoyance in her voice.
Grace fully turned to Jessie and lowered her voice dramatically, "Have you guys, you know, done anything?"
Blood rushed to Jessie's face, "What?!" she whispered harshly.
"Have you?" Grace persisted, "You guys have been going out for a few months already."
Despite being completely embarrassed, and shocked by the question, deep down, Jessie had been wanting to talk to someone about her relationship, but considering she was still in the closet, that wasn't really an option. With Grace being the only person who knew, Jessie didn't have much of a choice, "Not much," she admitted.
"Well, what have you done?"
"Why do you want to know?" Jessie turned her attention back to the dishes.
"Just being a concerned big step sister. I mean Katie is older and a lot more experienced than y-"
"I know," Jessie interrupted, annoyance growing within her.
"Do you ever know how ma-"
"Three girlfriends, two of which she actually slept with." When Grace did not say anything, Jessie knew her step sister wanted more details, so despite being clearly annoyed, she continued, "Tara Brody, Joanna Franco, and Sarah Grasso. She slept with Tara, she was her first, and with Sarah, which I'm sure you already knew, or had assumed."
Grace smiled, "Guess she's pretty honest with you, huh?"
"Yeah, she is," Jessie smiled.
"You think she could be your first?"
"I," Jessie began, "Maybe. I don't know. Probably."
Grace giggled slightly, "Don't worry. I'm done drilling you."
Meanwhile, outside, Eli and Katie walked toward the trash cans, Katie holding the box full of empty food containers while Eli held two full trash bags. Once at the side of the house, Eli spoke, "Katie."
Turning around upon hearing her name, she faced her girlfriend's brother, "Eli," she said his name in the same tone as he had said hers.
"I want to talk to you."
"Well, I'm right here. Talk away." Despite her bravado, Katie was a bit fearful at what Eli wanted to talk to her about. 'Just stay calm, Katie,' she thought to herself, 'Don't make him suspicious. Not that he has anything to be suspic… Oh wait… Yeah he does. Duh, violating his sister. Hehe, violating.'
That snapped her out of her inner thoughts, and joke, "Huh?"
"I said, what's going on between you and my sister?"
'Oops.' Katie grew nervous, "What do you mean?"
"Oh, don't play stupid, Katie. I know you and Jessie are more than just friends. I want to know the truth," he demanded.
Defiance grew inside her, "Why don't you ask Jessie?" she answered and turned toward the house.
Eli, not being satisfied, grabbed onto Katie's arm successfully stopping her, however he did not grab her forcefully, the action only surprised her; "Tell me."
Sighing, Katie knew there was no way out of this situation. There was really only one was to get him off her back, "We're in a relationship, okay? Happy?"
"Well I got that much, but how far long are you guys?"
"That's personal," she replied only to be given a glare. She knew she needed to spill all information, "Ugh! Fine! We've done nothing but make out and feel each other up. Barely. Over clothes. We've gone on several dates and every time we spend the night together, all we've done is cuddle and we've been together for about 4 months now. Now, are you happy?"
"Almost. You won't pressure her into anything, right?"
"Of course not! I care way too much about her."
"Good. As long as she's happy. Lord knows she needs it, and for some reason, you make her happy. Just remember, break her heart and I'll, well, I specifically can't do anything, but I know plenty of girls willing to do me a favor," he smirked, showing Katie he was partially kidding and without another word, Eli walked toward the house with Katie following him.
When both Eli and Katie walked into the kitchen, they had slightly startled both Jessie and Grace from their own conversation.
"Wow, you guys were out there for a while," Grace commented.
"Yeah, we were bonding," Katie replied.
"Jessie," Eli walked up to his sister and looked at her for a moment then engulfed her in a hug. Once he let her go, he turned to Katie and pointed at her with a smile before walking out of the kitchen.
"Uh, Katie?" Jessie questioned.
"What was that about?"
"Oh, he knows."
"Yeah. We're not very discreet apparently."
"The word 'duh' comes to mind," Grace said before walking away and out of sight.
Hours later, as everyone was already asleep, Katie and Jessie laid awake blissfully making out in her bed. The intensity and body heat was high and still rising. At first the girls were on their sides staring at each other, but soon Katie maneuvered herself on top of Jessie, her arms under Jessie's while her hands were tangled in Jessie's hair. Jessie kept her hands on Katie's waits, unsure of where to go or of what to do. Despite her inexperience, Jessie craved Katie and for Katie to touch her and it just kept getting worse. Still, Jessie's insecurities always got the better of her, once she would grab Katie's breast she would freeze because she wouldn't know how to continue; she'd usually let Katie take the lead. This time, one of Katie's hands began to wonder as Katie began kissing and gently nibbling on Jessie's neck. Slowly the older girl's hand glided across the younger girl's collar bone and landed on her breast. She stopped there for a moment, still gently sucking on Jessie's neck, then her hand continued down across her abdomen and stopped at the hem of her shirt. Katie removed her mouth from Jessie's neck and placed her lips on Jessie's, kissing her lustfully, yet still gentle. Then Katie's hand began to sneak its way under Jessie's shirt and once the younger girl felt her girlfriend's hand on her skin, her entire body froze, and Katie sensed it.
Katie lifted her head and stared into Jessie's eyes, "Jess, you okay?"
Jessie laid there, staring up at her concerned girlfriend. She knew she had to say something or else Katie would worry, she was just so embarrassed, "Uh, yeah, um, just that… I mean I," she stopped.
However Katie just smiled and chuckled slightly, "Relax Jessie. We'll go only as far as you want. No pressure. If I ever go too far, just let me know, okay?
Jessie only smiled, she knew she had an amazing girlfriend and she had felt so embarrassed and so prude for being nervous, after all, it was only a year ago she felt that sex was "kinda gross," but now that she was with Katie, her feelings had changed. All feelings changed. She had yet to admit to Katie that she felt anything greater than infatuation, but she had wanted to be sure and right now she'd bet her life that she had fallen in love, corrected, fallen head over heels in love with Katie Singer.
"It's not that. I just… I am so in love with you."
All Katie could do at that moment was smile. She had dreamed of Jessie saying the l-word since they had gotten together and now that she finally said it, she was damn near speechless, 'Which doesn't happen often,' she mentally mused. "I love you too, Jessie."
Jessie giggled, "You made that pretty obvious in your letter." Both girls smiled at each other for a long moment before Jessie continued, "I want to tell my family about us."
Katie's eyes lit up, "Really?"
"Yes." Jessie brought up her head and kissed Katie then continued, "But not right now, but definitely soon. But first, I want you to know I'm ready. I want you to be my first."
"N-now?" Katie asked nervously, yet excited.
Jessie simply nodded her reply, "But I don't know what to do so, just bare with me, okay?"
"Don't worry, we'll get through this together."
"Wait," Jessie gently pushed Katie off of her and sat up, looking away from her girlfriend, "I'm terrified."
Katie turned to face Jessie, who had her back to her, "About?"
"Honestly?" she hesitated, "I'm just scared I won't be what you expect. That I won't live up to your expectations. I mean, I am a virgin in every way imaginable."
"Well, not every way anymore," Katie chuckled. But when Jessie didn't respond, Katie cleared her throat and scooted closer to Jessie, close enough to put a supportive hand on the younger girl's shoulder, "Jessie, listen, I think that… Maybe you might be intimidated that I have done this before." Jessie turned her head away from Katie, "Guess I was right," she moved off the bed and moved to the floor, kneeling in front of Jessie as she continued, "Hey, listen… I love you, okay? I don't want you to think I'm going to compare you to Tara or to Sarah. It's different with everyone and I know that the emotional attachment to the person plays a part in it. A big part. My emotional attachment to you is way more than with either of them. Way more. And besides, you only get better from here on."
Jessie smiled down at Katie, cupping her face with her hands, "You are the best thing to happen to me. I want you to have me, all of me." Then Jessie leaned in and took Katie's lips with her own and helped the older girl up off the floor, never breaking their kiss. Katie stood and leaned forward toward Jessie, lowering the younger girl while simultaneously crawling on top of her. Soon the floor became decorated with clothing, sheets and blankets where tossed around and became wrinkled. Silent, whispered moans filled the air of the attic as breathing became heavier and heavier. Time froze for the girls, for those 90 minutes, all was well in the world, all that existed was Jessie Elizabeth Sammler and Kaitlyn "Katie" Singer.
When all was done, Katie laid slightly sitting up leaning against the headboard while Jessie laid partially on top of Katie facing away from her, both girls sporting only their birthday suits. "Well, we've never done that together before," Jessie said.
"Very true," Katie agreed. Staying calm Katie just caressed Jessie's bare shoulder and arm, living in the moment, ceasing it as she was very content. But then a thought popped into her mind and she began to feel a little scared, "Jessie?" She waited to continue until she saw Jessie prop herself up, keeping herself covered, and looked at her, "You don't regret anything, do you?"
"No. Why? Do you?!" Jessie's eyes grew wide.
"No! I was just… I wanted to make sure you didn't, you know?"
"Never." Jessie kissed Katie passionately. When she pulled away, she noticed her clock, "Wow, it's past 2AM."
"Well, we've been a little busy," Katie smirked.
"Perv!" Jessie playfully slapped Katie on the arm only to receive a giggle from her.
"We should sleep."
Both girls settled themselves together, Jessie laying on her side, Katie at her back with her arms around the younger girl. Kissing the back of Jessie's neck one last time, both girls drifted off into sleep not bothering to acquire any clothing.
Early the next morning, there was a knock at the door to the attic, "Jessie? Katie? You girls up yet?" Another knock.
Katie's eyes shot open with the 2nd knock. Grabbing the younger girl's shoulders and shaking her, she frantically whispered, "Jessie! Wake up! Jessie get up now!" Slowly and groggily the younger girl woke, yawning and taking care to keep her naked body covered. She was slightly confused at seeing Katie frantically darting her head around and falling to the floor in a desperate search for clothing. Before Jessie could even open her mouth to say something, she heard another knock at the door and she looked forward with a stare like a deer caught in head lights. Then the door opened and the foot steps sounded, the person coming into the attic. Katie had just finished putting on her pants, albeit without underwear, and was in the middle of putting on her shirt when the intruder came into view.
"Jessie, it's time to-" Lily stopped dead in her tracks at the sight before her; her step daughter, a girl she had come to view as another daughter, was laying in her bed, obviously naked, holding her blankets up to her chest covering herself, her face virtually drained of blood. In the corner of her eyes, she saw Katie, standing with her shirt half way on, covering her chest, looking like a child who had just been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. It took several seconds before any of the females could even breathe normally again before Lily finally spoke, "Um, Jessie, we need to talk… Now. Get dressed and meet me down stairs." Without another work, Lily quickly glanced at Katie and made a face the young girl couldn't decipher and turned and walked out of the attic.
Neither girl moved for a full minute, then Katie gained her composure and put her shirt completely back on and turned and moved to sit next to a still frozen Jessie. Slowly and carefully she put a hand on Jessie's shoulder; the other girl seemed unaffected by the contact. "Jessie?" Katie shook the girl slightly until she turned to face her, "Jessie? You okay?"
"I," Jessie turned her head slightly away, "Yeah. Just, well, this wasn't really the way I wanted to come out, you know?"
"I know. But hey! Think of it this way, at least now you don't have to worry about how to come out because it happened without you even trying." Jessie didn't make a move nor make a sound. "Guess we should've listened to Grace about the lock thing, huh?" Katie sighed and sat next to Jessie, "Do you want me to be with you during the talk with Lily?"
"Please?" Jessie asked.
"Of course." Katie gave Jessie a kiss on the forehead before she finally got up leaving Jessie to rise from the bed, keeping herself covered to gather clothing. Noticing this, Katie smiled and decided to tease her girlfriend a bit, "I don't know why you're trying so hard to keep yourself covered. I already saw everything last night; from head to toe." When Jessie froze and glared at her, Katie couldn't help but laugh, "Are you always going to be this shy after sex?" she couldn't help but fuel the fire, and her face met a stuffed animal.
Once the girls were ready, which only took about 10 minutes, Jessie timidly walked downstairs, holding onto Katie's hand as if she would let go, she'd lose the other girl forever. Sensing this, when the girls reached the bottom of the stairs, Katie whispered to Jessie, "Don't worry, I'll be right beside you."
Jessie looked to her girlfriend and smiled. Taking a deep breath, Jessie walked hand in hand into the kitchen where Lily awaited them. Upon seeing Lily sitting at the table alone, Jessie became a little confused, "Where's my dad?"
"He had to go into the office today," Lily replied without looking up, "Sit, Jessie." The younger girl cautiously sat across from her step mother and waited; Katie stayed where she was at the doorway. After a moment, Lily finally looked up at her step daughter, glanced quickly at Katie, then back at Jessie, "Well?"
"Uh," Jessie was tremendously nervous, "Huh?"
"What's going on, Jessie?" Lily had a stern face, "What's going on with you and Katie?"
"Well, um, I… We… We're, uh, together and have been for about five months now."
A look of shock washed over Lily's face, "Five months? Five?" She looked over to Katie who had a small and embarrassed smile on her face, "Five months?" Then Lily's face became very serious, "Wait, Katie has spent the night before, did you two... ?"
"No!" exclaimed Jessie, "No. Last night was, um, that was the first time."
"Promise!" added Katie.
Lily was busy processing all this new information; her step daughter was in a romantic relationship with her best friend. 'So much for Tad. Poor Rick really wanted to grill him. Hmm, looks like he'll have to just grill Katie. Oh my, Rick doesn't know about them,' Lily thought. After thinking back some more, she realized it had always been right in front of her; Jessie's relationship with Katie. The two girls were virtually inseparable, always together whenever possible. Katie would always get unusually quiet whenever Tad would be mentioned as Jessie's love interest. And for as long as Lily knew Jessie, she always had this unbearable sadness in her eyes, but when Katie came into her life, that sadness disappeared. Whenever Katie was around, Jessie was nothing but smiles and laughter. There would be this glow around the usually melancholy Jessie when Katie's name would be mentioned, 'How deluded could you have been to suspect Grace and not Jessie?' she scolded herself. "I must have been blind not to notice," she said out loud and shook her head with a small smile. "You haven't told your father or mother yet, have you?" When Jessie shook her head "no" Lily continued, "Well, you'll need to tell them eventually. I don't plan on doing it, but both of your parents deserve to know," she paused and glanced at Katie, "But, now I know I'm not your mother, but I am still your step mother and there will need to be new rules. Katie," she turned to look at her, "Sorry, sweetie, but no more sleep overs."
Katie just smiled, embarrassed, and replied, "That's understandable."
Lily leaned closer to Jessie and whispered in a quiet voice, "You're happy?"
With a bright smile Jessie replied, "Absolutely."
"Well then," Lily paused, "I don't completely agree with your choice of life style, but, if this is truly who you are and you're happy," she eyed Katie, "And if Katie promises to never hurt you-"
"110 percent promise!" Katie interjected.
"I will support you." Lily smiled.
"Thanks, Lily!" Jessie quickly rose to her feet and hugged her step mother.
"Well girls," Lily rose, "I have errands to run, just please, no more surprises. And remember Jess, when you're ready to, uh, come out to your father, I'll be there to support you." With one last smile, Lily walked out of the kitchen leaving Jessie and Katie alone.
"Wow," Katie said, "That was interesting."
"Yeah. God that was also so embarrassing."
"So, what now?"
"I want to tell my parents. Soon."
Author's Note: Again, sorry for any OOCness. But what does everyone think so far? Sorry if there are grammar mistakes and what not, I am my own beta for this fic.