SHINJI THE NINJA
by Gunman

Disclaimer: I do not own Eva or Ninja Nonsense.

Summary: When Shinji studies the art of ninja, he attracts the attention of a cute kunoichi named Shinobu who thinks that he is her destiny.

Author's Notes: This story has been written in response to Invincible Shinji's Romance Fanfic Challenge. I've actually been working on this for a while, but when I heard about this challenge, I couldn't resist finishing this. Hope you like it.

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Ninjitsu is the art of invisibility.

The primary weapon of the ninja, a skill that has been cultivated and perfected for centuries, it is the talent that few have managed to refine.

Of course, it helps that the person is often ignored to begin with.

When people don't pay attention to you, it makes you seem invisible to begin with. With that said, one can easily master being completely invisible, with a little practice.

Stealth is an art. Patience and agility are the tools.

And the current artist: one Shinji Ikari.

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Ever since Shinji had first heard about the ninja and the art of invisibility he felt oddly connected to it. As if it would help him in life. He had no idea how true that was until he met Asuka.

Asuka Langley Sohryu. The Second Child. Pilot of Evangelion Unit 02. German born. Redhead. University graduate. And worlds biggest bitch.

"WHERE THE HELL IS SHINJI??"

"What are you screaming about, Asuka?" Misato asked as she lazily drank her beer.

"He was supposed to make my lunch today!"

"You mean... that lunch?" she asked, pointing to the counter where Asuka's red bento box sat.

"Oh... well, good to see he still knows his responsibilities around here." she said as she grabbed the bento and rushed out the door.

As the girl left, she absently thought how weird it was that she hadn't seen Shinji in the past few days. She knew that he still lived with her and Misato at the apartment, as the house was still clean, the meals were still cooked, and her clothes were washed, dried and folded. But she hadn't physically seen him anywhere. It was getting to the point where she was forgetting what he looked like.

Why am I so worried about that baka? It's not like he's anything special. But... he's almost never around now. I don't see him. Could he be, avoiding me? But why? Hey! Maybe I'll see him at school where he is now! She thought as she quickened her pace.

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Shinji felt something was wrong.

He looked around and didn't notice anything unusual. All the students were sitting at their desks, Toji was dreaming about Misato, Kensuke was playing with a model jet fighter, Hikari was greeting people at the door, Rei was staring out the window, and the new transfer student from Kyoto was reading a book about cats.

Shinji actually felt sorry for her. When she announced that she was transferring to Tokyo-3 from another city, Kensuke and Toji were on her, (figuratively of course), about her being an Eva pilot, as they were the only ones who would actually come to the city. They had even pointed out Shinji, Asuka and Rei to her.

Sometimes Shinji wondered just why he was friends with those two.

Eventually she proved to be just an ordinary, non-NERV connected Japanese girl.

Shinji had learned that her name was Shinobu Fujimori. Long black hair, blue eyes, very cute and seemed like a good person. Her body was also more athletic and proportioned that Asuka's. Though she was a little confused at just what an Eva was. That wasn't too surprising, since only busybodies like Kensuke actually bothered finding out about that sort of thing.

Just then the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. That meant...

Asuka.

"THIRD CHILD!!" the German redhead shouted as she exploded into the classroom.

"Asuka! Don't shout!" Hikari chided.

Asuka brushed past the class rep and stormed over to Shinji's desk.

"Where the heck were you, baka!?" Asuka shouted.

"What are you talking about, Asuka?" Shinji asked.

"I haven't seen you the last three days!"

Shinji just looked at her in confusion. "I thought that's what you wanted."

"Huh?"

"You came home from your date on Friday looking really upset. I asked what was wrong, you called me a stupid busy-body and didn't want to see me. So, I stayed out of your way, just like you wanted."

Did I really... well, it does sound like something I'd say if I was upset. "Well... you could have tried to cheer me up!"

"You hit me."

"Huh?"

"After you called me a stupid busy-body I tried to cheer you up, but it just made you mad, and you hit me for emphasis." he said as he went back to his book, trying not to become another target.

Asuka just looked at him before noticing the small welt on his neck. She went back to her desk without another word.

Across the way, a pair of eyes were watching intently.

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It was lunchtime and a pair of figures were watching Shinji sitting under a tree.

"So, is he the one?" the dark figure asked.

"Yes. I'm sure of it." the second figure said.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I can feel it. It's my ninja-instinct."

"Well... if you're sure, you had better bring him to the palace at once."

"Don't worry, we'll be there this afternoon."

"Very well. I will inform the headmaster." the first figure said as he disappeared.

Shinji Ikari... soon our destiny will be complete. The second figure grinned as she looked down at Shinji who was sitting at the base of the tree she was hiding in.

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School ended and Shinji was on his way out when Asuka caught up to him.

"Where do you think you're going, baka?" Asuka asked.

"Home." Shinji said.

"You have to walk with me home!" she declared.

"Is that really a good idea?"

"What Was That Third Child?!" she snapped.

"Hi, Kaji." Shinji suddenly said, looking behind Asuka.

"Huh? Where?" she looked around frantically. "I don't see... huh? Shinji?"

But Shinji was nowhere in sight.

"Of all the dirty... And how the hell does he do that?" she grumbled in confusion.

Up in the tree Shinji just looked down and silently sighed as he watched Asuka run off, obviously looking for him.

"Whew! That was close." he said.

"Yes, it was." another voice said.

Shinji looked up and gasped when he saw a familiar girl sitting on the branch next to him.

"Hello, Shinji." Shinobu said.

"Huh?" Shinji gasped. "Ms Shinobu?"

"Come with me." she said as she grabbed suddenly tied him up with rope and leaped out of the tree, attached to a large kite that carried her and her unwilling passenger up high into the sky.

For several minutes Shinji just stared down at the far below ground that was Tokyo-3, until coming to a thick wooden door surrounded by a tall stone wall in a valley far from the city.

"What am I doing here?" Shinji finally managed to ask.

"You're here because you're the chosen one!" Shinobu said.

"Huh? Chosen one?"

"Yes."

While they had been en route to this place, Shinji had managed to take a good look at what Shinobu was wearing. It was a sleeveless short skirt ninja outfit with purple leggings and boots, a purple belt around her waist, purple arm sleeves without fingers, a big red bow in her hair, a white bandanna around her forehead with her clans symbol on the front, and a large red metal ball at the end of her long black hair.

Actually she had one before, but he didn't notice it then.

She was incredibly cute before, but now she looked unusually sexy.

Shinobu lead Shinji into the elegantly maintained ninja palace, which was like something out of the feudal era. There was a central building with connected buildings, all surrounded by thick porch-like walkways all around. The garden areas had some trees, a couple ponds surrounded by smooth stones, a couple small pagoda-like statues, and very well manicured grass.

"This place is beautiful!" Shinji said.

"I hoped you would like it." Shinobu said as she opened a sliding paper door.

The pair stepped inside and were suddenly met by a yellow ball with a beard sitting on a stack of pillows.

"Who is this?" the ball suddenly asked.

"This is Shinji." Shinobu said. "Shinji, this is the headmaster of our ninja academy."

"He's... your headmaster?" Shinji gasped as he stared at the ball.

"What is he doing here?" the master asked, ignoring Shinji for the moment.

"I brought him here." Shinobu said.

"Is he a ninja?"

"Well, no."

"Then he must die."

"WHAT?" Shinji gasped.

"You can't!" Shinobu shouted.

"Only ninja's are allowed in this sacred place, Shinobu. All outsiders are forbidden to leave alive." the headmaster said.

"Well, that is the law." Shinobu agreed.

"You Knew This And Didn't Tell Me?" Shinji shouted.

"It... never came up." she said innocently

Shinji sweat dropped.

"I don't want to die!" he said.

"Well, then. There is another option." the headmaster said.

"What option?" Shinji asked.

"Only ninjas are allowed in this sacred place. So, if you want to live, you must become a ninja." he said.

"Uh, alright. How do I do that?" the boy asked.

"Simple. As you are not a ninja, you must pass the Ninja Trials!"

"But Shinji hasn't trained as hard as I have in order to pass the trials!" Shinobu said.

"Then what do you suggest, Shinobu?" the headmaster asked.

"Well, it would probably be easier if Shinji married into the clan." she said.

"HUH? Marry?" Shinji and the headmaster gasped.

"Well, according to the law, the only way an outsider of the ninja clan can live, and leave later on, is to either pass the ninja trials, which Shinji hasn't trained for and would probably kill him, or they have to marry a ninja of the clan itself." she explained.

"I have to... get married?" he asked. "Wait! That means I'll be bound to the clan anyway."

"Pretty much. But at least you won't be killed." she said.

Oh... boy.

"And just who would he marry?" headmaster asked.

"Why, me of course!" Shinobu giggled.

"NO!" headmaster suddenly shouted.

"What?" Shinobu asked, stepping back at the headmaster's outburst.

"I Forbid This Union!"

"But why master?" she asked.

Because I can't have Shinobu marry anyone except me! "I... I simply do not think this boy is worthy to become part of this ninja clan! That's all!"

"Then... what will convince you that he is worthy?" Shinobu asked as the ball grinned.

"He Must Face Me In Combat!" the yellow ball shouted as he leaped at Shinji.

However, the actual fight lasted less than five seconds as The Headmaster launched himself at Shinji, only to have the boy quickly react and punch him hard in the face, causing him to ricochet all over the room, through the walls of the building, out across the yard, and into the stone wall.

With every ninja in the manor having witnessed Shinji beating the Headmaster, it was proof enough that he was worthy to marry Shinobu.

Of course the round yellow ball that called itself headmaster tried to attack Shinji again and again, only to have the results end up the same way: Shinji defeating the headmaster.

After 36 failed attacks, utilizing various techniques and desperate moves, the whole ninja clan decided to spare headmaster further pain, and rushed to put on an impromptu wedding for the pair.

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Shinji stepped out of the room and looked in the mirror, groaning as he looked at the outfit he wore. It was a white tracksuit that looked like someone had raided Naruto's closet.

(Think a white and black outfit from after the Time Skip when Naruto returned to the village)

"I can't believe this." Shinji groaned.

"Is something wrong, Shinji-kun?" Shinobu asked, appearing in a ninja wedding outfit, that looked like her regular ninja outfit, only it was white, had a longer skirt, a large yellow bow in the back, and a decorated headdress/hat on her head.

Whoa, she looks beautiful. "Uh, well... a lot." he said.

"Tell me, husband." she said with a soft smile.

She's calling me 'husband' already? "Uhhhhh... well for one, I'm not sure about this whole wedding thing."

"But it's the law of our clan. You can't leave otherwise you'll be killed." she said. "Even though you defeated the headmaster in combat, you didn't actually pass the Ninja Trials, so marriage really is the only option."

I'm still not believing this. "I... I just find it hard to believe that even as a trainee ninja you didn't know about this."

"Well, it's kinda been a vow-of-secrecy thing." she said.

"Vow of secrecy?" he asked, his eyebrow twitching.

"Yeah. We're not supposed to tell outsiders our secrets. It's been that way for generations."

"You don't do this a lot, do you?" he asked.

"Do what? Bring outsiders here and tell them they can't leave unless they marry into the clan?"

"Yes." he said.

Shinobu paused for a few seconds, her finger on her hand as if in thought. "Actually... now that you mention it, that's pretty much the main way we get many of our new recruits." she said, scratching her head slightly.

Shinji froze for a few seconds before... "YOU MEAN YOU BRING THEM HERE ON PURPOSE SO YOU CAN MARRY THEM INTO THE CLAN??"

"Well, kinda." she said sheepishly.

I don't believe this. "Has anyone ever chosen death over marriage?" he asked.

"Actually, less than half the people our ninja's have brought here chose death. Why?"

"Uh... never mind." Shinji said, waving his hands to dispel her inquiry.

"Well then, come husband, our wedding starts now!" she cried as she dragged him along.

Unbelievable. It's like Ninja Las Vegas here. He thought as he was dragged along.

Noticing his somewhat gloomy mood, Shinobu asked, "Is something wrong, Shinji-kun?" the girl suddenly pausing in mid-step. "Wait! You... (sniff, sniff) you don't want to marry me?" Shinobu said as tears welled up in her beautiful blue eyes.

"What?" Shinji gasped.

"Is it because I'm ugly?" she cried.

"No!" he shouted.

"Is it because I'm fat?"

"No!"

"Is it because I have warts?"

"No!"

"Is it because..."

"NO! You're very beautiful, you have a perfect figure, and I've never seen prettier skin!" she gushed out to the girl.

"OOOOOOHHHHH SHINJI!" she cried happily as she jumped into his arms.

Oh god. Why me? He thought, wondering if she was bi-polar.

"Then why are you so hesitant?" she asked.

"Well... isn't everyone scared when they first get married?"

"Oh. I guess so." she said innocently.

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The wedding ceremony was rather elegant and seemed to follow all the usual traditions. Headmaster wasn't there, pouting and protesting the marriage, so another elder had to step in to preform the ceremony.

The reception was spent mostly with ninjas getting drunk and dancing around the tables. While that was going on, Shinji and Shinobu managed to sneak away to speak privately.

"So... Shinobu?"

"Yes, husband?"

"Uh, we're married now, right?"

"Yes. It's all completely legal. See?" she said, holding up the marriage certificate.

Unbelievable. He thought, looking over the document. Yup, it's legal. "Oooookay. I... uh... look, it's not that you're a bad catch or anything..."

"THANK YOU!" she chirped happily.

"... but uh... we're not... going to have to do a honeymoon or anything... are we?"

"You don't want to?" she asked curiously.

"I'm only fourteen! I'm a little young to start a family or anything." he said.

"Oh. Well, we don't have to do that right away."

"That's a relief." he sighed.

"With the proper protection we can just have all the sex we want."

CRASH!

"Husband?" she gasped.

Boy, is she blunt! "Uh... that's not what I meant." he said as he picked himself up off the ground. Not that's it's a bad selling point, mind you. he suddenly paused. Whoa! I sound like Kensuke and Toji!

"Oh, that's alright. But I'm glad we're married now. I've wanted this ever since I met you."

That caught his attention. "Huh?"

"Uh-oh." she gasped.

"You mean... you wanted to marry me??... Wait a minute! You mean you brought me here so that I'd be forced to marry you as part of your ninja clans rule. Right?" he said.

"...Yes." she said, a little dejected. Mostly that he had figured it out so quickly. "I didn't mean to deceive you... I just... I figured it was the best way for us to both get what we wanted."

"What we both wanted?" he gasped. "What do you mean by that?"

"I want you to be happy Shinji." she said, looking down at the ground.

"You... do?"

"From the first day I met you, I knew that you were not a happy person. You were so kind and nice, so honest, and so very cute too."

He blushed at that.

"And I thought... 'There's a boy who needs someone special in his life to make him happy'." she declared with some drama.

Why is she talking in a deep voice?

"So I took up the challenge. Even before I knew about your ninja stealth training."

"You knew about that?" he asked.

"Of course. It told me that we were destined to be together! As ninja husband and wife!"

Oh. My. God. This woman is crazy. He thought. Still... it is nice that she wants me to be happy. "You, really want to make me happy?"

"Yes, Shinji-kun. And a ninja-wife is true to her ninja-husband in deed and word."

Shinji sweat dropped.

This is definitely going to take some getting used to. He thought as he looked at her as she hugged him around his waist, burying her head in the crook of his neck. I can't believe I have a wife. And a ninja wife no less. At least she's the beautiful/honest type. Well, okay, she was deceptive about that whole outsiders-have-to-marry-into-the-clan-or-die thing, but... I guess that's understandable. Vow-of-secrecy, my ass. "Uh, Shinobu?"

"Yes, husband?"

"Uh... can we tell anyone about this?"

"Well, you can tell others we're married, but you can't tell them about the ninja valley and such. It would bring death to you, and shame to me." Shinobu said.

Again they play on my sympathy towards the common man. "Alright. I'm sure everyone's going to be more than a little surprised. Especially Misato."

"You're guardian?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm. That is a problem. Hey! Maybe we should invite her to the valley."

"So she can get married to one of the ninja here?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh... hmm." he paused, considering that. "Well, she has been trying to get Kaji off her back. And this would be a good... ACK! What am I saying?" he gasped. "I can't marry off Misato like that! Even though it would help her out... no! Stop it!!" he grumbled as he hit his head with his fists. "And besides, she might choose death if she didn't approve of the guy she was married to."

"Really? Tell me about her."

Shinji tells her about Misato.

"I think I know someone who would be perfect for your Ms. Katsuragi."

"Really?"

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Shinobu introduces Shinji to Masaki, who is a lot like Misato he notices.

He puts curry on all his food, he drinks beer to excess and he can't drive a car at all.

"Well? What do you think?" she asked

"I think... he's perfect." Shinji grinned.

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Shinji and Shinobu arrive back at the Katsuragi apartment.

"Hello, Misato."

"Shinji! Where have you been all afternoon?" Misato shouted as she came around the corner of the apartment from the kitchen.

"Oh... just running errands... doing a little sightseeing... getting married."

"Well, that's nice."

Wait for it... he thought.

"Shinji-kun? Who is this?" she asked, noticing the smiling girl.

"Oh, this is Shinobu, my wife."

"Well, I'm very pleased to meet YOU'RE WIFE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARRIED?" Misato shrieked.

Took her long enough. "Well, it's kinda difficult to explain."

"TRY!" she said firmly.

"Better if we show you."

"Alright."

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"I never thought I'd live to be a human kite." Misato groaned as Shinji helped the wobbly woman through the halls of the ninja palace.

"We're back, headmaster!" Shinobu shouted.

"Shinobu! Shinji! Where the heck have you... who is this?" the aggravated yellow ball asked, pointing to Misato.

"Is that ball talking?" Misato asked Shinji.

"This is my guardian, Misato Katsuragi." Shinji explained.

"Is she a ninja?" the headmaster asked.

"No."

"Then she must die."

"WHAT?" she cried as several ninjas suddenly appearing around her, each one brandishing a wicked looking weapon.

Here we go again. "You can't kill her!" Shinji stated.

"Why not? It's the law of our clan, Shinji! She isn't a ninja, therefore she must die. Unless she wants to join the clan and spare herself a very painful death."

"YES!" she said quickly as the ninja's looked rather... anxious.

Actually, she was worried they'd try to ravage her first, then kill her.

"Well, there are two ways to join the clan." the headmaster said. "First is to pass the Ninja Trials, and since she isn't a ninja, there's the possibility she could be killed."

"What's the second way?" Misato asked.

"You have to marry into the clan." Shinobu said.

"M--Marry?" Misato gasped.

"Yes." headmaster replied. "A Marriage... to ME!" he shouted as he flew up and collided with Misato's chest.

Shinji quickly grabbed the yellow ball, stretched and twisted him and tossed him across the room, nailing him into the wall.

"I don't think that's an option." Shinji said.

"Oh, then what about Masaki? He's still single." Shinobu suggested.

"That's because he drinks all that sake, eats all that damned curry, snores like a tractor, and can't drive to save his life." the headmaster said. "Will someone get me out of here, please?"

"Really?" Misato perked up, her ears twitching as she heard about this Masaki person.

"Are you interested?" Shinji asked.

"Well... can I at least meet the guy?" Misato asked.

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Misato and Masaki meet.

"You're beautiful!" Masaki said, awestruck.

"You're a babe!" Misato gasped, enthralled.

"So it's settled then?" Shinji asked.

"YES!" the pair clamored.

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It was fortunate that everything from Shinji and Shinobu's wedding was still set up. So the ninjas had two weddings in one day, and that meant two receptions!

"You set me up, didn't you?" the older woman glared at Shinji as the ninja's partied all around them.

"Well..." the boy grinned a little.

"OH THANK YOU, SHINJI!" she cried as she hugged the boy tightly.

She dropped the boy on the ground and went back to where her new husband was quick to receive her for the cutting of the cake.

"Husband?" Shinobu asked as she helped her husband off the ground.

"She took that better than I expected." Shinji grinned.

Shinobu nodded.

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It was almost ten at night and many of the ninjas were still partying, Misato out-drinking virtually everyone, and both Shinji and Shinobu retired to their room at the manor.

It was right after Shinji closed the door to their room that Shinobu quickly got undressed.

"SHINOBU!" Shinji gasped the second he saw that his new wife was completely naked.

"Is something wrong, husband?" Shinobu asked with some confusion.

"Why are you... naked?" he gasped, trying to look away from her.

"A ninja isn't ashamed of their bodies, and I often sleep naked. You should too." she said happily. "Besides, we are married."

Shinji finally got up the courage and looked at his wife. When he did, he froze and gasped.

"Shinobu! What happened to you?" he asked, noticing all the scars over her body.

"Oh, you mean these?" she asked, staring at the dozens of small scars that covered her body, even around her curvy breasts.

"Yes!" he gasped as he walked over to her, his concern for her overriding his nosebleed.

"They're from all my training. I get hurt quite a bit actually." she said sheepishly.

Shinji just walked over to his wife and pulled her into a warm embrace. "I didn't know about that. I'm sorry."

"You're... worried about me?" she asked.

"Well of course I am!" he shouted, keeping his wife at arms length to look at her square in the eyes.

"I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

"Oh, Shinji!" she cried as she embraced him tightly, her arms around his neck as his arms wrapped around her waist gently. "You do love me!"

"Well... of course I do. You're my wife after all." he said touching his forehead to her own.

"Yes. I am." she smiled as she kissed the boy warmly.

The former Eva pilot and his guardian never returned to Tokyo-3. Without them, the Angels attacked and invaded NERV, liberated Lilith and left completely. Without Lilith, or Shinji, or even Misato, Third Impact was averted and both Gendo's and SEELE's plans were left unfulfilled, even to the point of the UN finding out about their plans and arresting them. Asuka never found out what happened to the pair. She ended up living with Hikari.

Shinji and Shinobu remained together for the rest of their lives, well into old age, quickly taking over as the new headmaster and headmistress of their ninja clan from the current headmaster. They raised several strong and skilled ninja children, who loved Misato like she was their grandmother. PenPen eventually came to live with them at the ninja manor.

Shinji's and Shinobu's love grew quickly, fulfilling a strong emotional need for both of them.

And the sex was incredible between the pair.

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Author's Notes:

Hope everyone liked this little one-shot I wrote up for Invincible Shinji's romance challenge.