A/N: I will be signing up as a beta reader soon, so if anybody wants my services, please PM me and let me know;)
This plot is something that's been bouncing around my head as a one-shot for a week now, and even though it is highly unlikely and completely ridiculous, I decided to write it anyway. It's turning out to be more of a story than I originally thought! It's still fairly IC for everyone, but it's AH and AU. I hope you enjoy it, please let me know!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does. But oh boy, what I wouldn't give to make Edward Cullen a real boy!!
I watched as my best friend Edward climbed out of the car in front of my house. He was already wearing his new football jersey, which was the custom for the football team on the day of a game. I loved the way he looked in it, all masculine and tough. His loose-gaited walk was a truly a remarkable sight. I couldn't let myself continue to have these thoughts, so I quickly shook my head to clear it. It was getting harder and harder to deny my attraction for the friend I'd had since kindergarten.
I held my breath as he walked up to me, waiting to see the smile that would soon break over his glorious face. There it was. I smiled in return as he reached out to take my book bag and lead me back to his Volvo.
When we got to the car, I could see Jasper and Alice sitting in the backseat. Jasper was also wearing his football jersey, and looking very handsome indeed. Alice was being Alice, bouncing on her seat in excitement. She, too, was wearing a football jersey that belonged to Jasper. She had spirit paint on her cheeks and she looked like she was in danger of bursting out of the car. I just laughed and slid into the passenger seat while Edward went around and climbed behind the wheel. He spun off toward our high school with his typical speed demon driving.
When we got to school, we met up with Emmett and Rosalie in the parking lot. Rose was wearing one of Emmett's jerseys and she, too, had spirit face paint across her face. I couldn't help but smile at the love shining in her eyes as she looked up at her big bear of a boyfriend. Just then, Emmett lunged toward Edward and Jasper and they all started hollering and play-fighting as the rest of us just laughed. Finally, Rosalie went over and helped Jasper out of Emmett's headlock. She playfully slapped the back of his head and said, "Em, you're such a big oaf!"
She tried to scowl, but Emmett just lifted her above his head and gave her a big goofy smile before giving her a sloppy kiss. Her scowl was replaced by a happy blush as he set her back down on the ground, wrapping his arms around her.
I turned to see Jasper and Alice cuddled up, whispering to one another so that nobody could hear what they were saying. Every now and then, Alice would giggle and slap Jasper on the chest and Jasper would just smile and lean back in to whisper some more.
I sighed, trying not to envy my friends for their perfect relationships. Both couples were just so happy and in love that it sometimes hurt to be around them. I knew Edward and I could be like that if he just wasn't so shy. He had so much confidence when it came to other things, but when it came to girls he was a complete mess. He just let his nerves take him over. It was not exactly easy for me, either. I didn't know the first thing about dating and I definitely didn't want to mess up my friendship with him if I bungled an attempt at trying to make him more.
As the time to head to our classes neared, Alice and Rose kissed the guys goodbye and I hugged Edward awkwardly. My face burned at the thought of being able to kiss him whenever I wanted to. I felt butterflies climb up my stomach and I quickly tried to tamp them back down.
Our first class was aerobics, so Rose and Alice led the way to the locker rooms. As we were changing, they converged on me.
"Bella, you know that tonight's the homecoming game, right?" Alice asked conspiratorially. I just nodded my head dumbly, wondering what was going on.
"This is Edward's first year on the varsity team. I'll get to the point: the guys all have a pre-game ritual and they think it would help Edward's nerves if he came up with one too," Rose said.
I felt my confusion grow as my eyebrows lowered. I looked back and forth between them, wondering what the heck they were trying to get at.
"Bella! Before the games, Jasper and Emmett like to… well, have sex. It helps them relax and puts them in a good mood before they have to play." Alice said. I inhaled sharply, this was entirely too much information to know about my friends and their sex lives with their boyfriends.
I groaned in disgust. "God, you guys! I don't wanna know that!" I squeaked.
"Don't be silly, Bells. Anyway, what we're trying to say is that the guys know Edward is really nervous about his first game on the varsity and they want him to do well. They think it might help if he gets laid beforehand."
It felt as if a lead anvil had just dropped directly on my stomach. I felt the air whoosh out of my lungs as I tried to figure out what they wanted. "Er, so, what are they thinking? Like we need to find someone to have sex with him? You know how shy Edward is around girls; how are we going to accomplish this in just one day?" I tried to make it sound like I wasn't insanely jealous and depressed at the idea of another girl having sex with my best friend. He should be with me, but I just couldn't conquer my own shyness enough to do anything about it.
"No, we're not going to find a girl for him. We think you should do it! We know you're in love with him," Rose said.
Suddenly, the meaning of their words crashed down upon me and I felt my jaw go slack. They wanted me to have sex with Edward. My stomach clenched and I felt like I was going to be sick. Not sick at the idea of having sex with Edward, but at the idea of seducing him just so he could have some stupid pre-game relaxation. I shook my head dumbly and looked back at my best friends, my eyes going wide. "You want me to what? And wait, how do you know I'm in love with him? I've never said anything like that!" I exclaimed.
They just looked at each other and sighed like I was the cutest little mentally challenged kid they'd ever seen. I felt myself getting angry as I looked at their faces smiling back at me.
"Why the hell do you think I would just up and have sex with Edward out of nowhere?" I whispered harshly. I quickly looked around me, trying to see if anybody was overhearing our conversation. I didn't see anybody looking at us, so I was relieved for the moment.
"Bella, just talk to him; you'll see how nervous he is. Jasper said he was practically green when he picked him up this morning," Alice said. "Just think about it, okay?"
With that, we finished getting dressed for gym as I mulled over the idea in my head. It was horrible, but the part of me that wanted Edward so badly was practically jumping up and down in glee at the idea of having a reason to step outside of my debilitating shyness to reach for him.
Gym passed in a blur. I couldn't even focus enough to do the aerobic steps, so finally the teacher told me I could just go sit down. I sighed in relief and spent the rest of class furiously trying to figure out what to do.
That was when I overheard Jessica saying Edward's name to Lauren. My ears perked as I tried to overhear more of their conversation.
"…so it's Edward's first game playing for the varsity and I think I should give him a little something to commemorate the event, don't ya think?" Jessica giggled obscenely. I felt my permanent flush rise a notch higher as I fought the urge to vomit in my mouth. I couldn't believe what she was saying.
I knew Jessica and Lauren were on the cheerleading squad, and they had access to the football team before and after their games. My eyes were filled with the red haze of fury as I thought of Jessica sinking her whorish claws into my sweet, innocent Edward. There was just no flipping way! Over my dead body, I thought.
The bell to signal the end of class rang just then and we were free to change back into our regular clothes. Alice and Rosalie kept shooting me glances out of the corner of their eyes, no doubt trying to figure out if I was going to go along with their insane plan. I just groaned helplessly and got out of the locker room as quickly as I could.
My next class was Biology with Edward. I found him sitting at our table and I braced myself to sit next to him. He really did look somewhat green around the gills, and I instantly felt sorry for him. I knew he really wanted to play the game, but he just looked so nervous and twitchy sitting there. His eyes were shooting around the room, never really coming to rest on anything until I made eye contact with him as I sat down.
"Hey!" he seemed to relax marginally.
"Hey, Edward. You look really nervous about the game tonight," I said.
"Yeah, I just really want to win and make a good impression on the coach. If I don't do well then I might not get any scholarships for college," he said miserably.
I remembered then that Edward's whole reason for joining football in the first place was an attempt to get a full-ride scholarship to college. He had really fantastic grades, but he was afraid that there wouldn't be enough scholarship money to pay completely for college. I could sympathize; my family was hoping for enough scholarship money to send me to college also.
Edward's dad was a doctor, but he didn't make as much money as most because he did a lot of charity work. He spent most of his extra money on the free clinic that he'd opened up in a troubled part of town to help the families without any healthcare. I was very impressed with Carlisle and I knew that Edward wanted to follow in his footsteps. For now, though, the money was tight and Edward would need all the help he could get to pay for school.
Now I felt guilty because I knew I had to do something, anything to help my best friend. He really needed to do well tonight, because if he blew this game then we both knew he'd probably ride the bench the rest of the season. The football coach wasn't known for giving second chances.
I looked back at Edward and felt my determination grow. I would have to help him, even if that meant stepping so far outside of my comfort zone that I wanted to die in embarrassment at the idea. I wanted Edward, but that wasn't what this was about. He needed me to help him calm down or he would never be able to play well tonight. I just hoped that he wouldn't run screaming in the other direction when he found out about "my" plan.
I spent the next couple classes solidifying the plan in my head while I waited for lunch. Once the lunch bell rang, I walked swiftly to the cafeteria and looked for Alice and Rose. I found them walking in from the other side of the hall and I made my way over to them.
"Hey guys, you were right. Edward needs my help and I want to be there for him. I need your help, though. I have no idea what to do!" I said desperately. I could feel the blood flushing in my veins so fast that I figured I was probably red enough to be a stop sign.
Alice squealed and grabbed my hand, dragging me out of the cafeteria and toward the parking lot. Rose's car was parked not far from Edward's and we all jumped in and sped off. I wasn't sure where we were going, but I knew Alice well enough by now to be pretty certain we were going shopping. I was not looking forward to this.
We got to the mall and Alice and Rose hurried me toward Victoria's Secret. I never bought anything from this store because it was all overpriced and cheaply made, in my opinion. However, I was there for Edward. I had to keep reminding myself of that so my inner voice would just shut up.
When it came to shopping with Alice, I knew the drill by now. I walked over, sat down in one of the dressing rooms, and waited for her to start throwing things at me. I tried on so many bra and underwear sets that I couldn't even remember how any of them looked. I also tried on tons of negligees and tried to avoid looking at myself in the mirror. I definitely didn't think I could handle doing what I needed to do if I looked at myself right now.
Finally, I was done trying on the entire store inventory. I seriously doubted Alice would contain herself to just one thing, and I wasn't disappointed. Not only did she get an entire bag of sexy underwear for me, but she and Rose also had entire bags for themselves. I tried not to think about their sex lives, it was just too gross.
Rose drove us over to Alice's house and we went up to her bedroom. I felt my mouth drop open in shock as she bounced over to her bed and took out a big box from underneath it. She plopped it on the bed and took the lid off, exposing a literal treasure trove of items. Mostly, there were a lot of books with dubious covers. I could see a few featuring the silhouettes of naked couples pressed together. My palms grew damp as the butterflies began jumping around my stomach again.
"I think you should read a couple of these and let us know if you have any questions," Alice chirped. I was beyond embarrassed. I felt like I was getting the sex talk from my mom all over again.
I walked over and took some of the books from the box, thumbing through them and looking at the covers to try to get an idea of what each one was about. I quickly discarded the ones with anything kinky in them; I definitely wasn't ready for any of that!
Finally, I settled onto Alice's bed and began to read one. The plot was pretty weak and it was obvious that the main purpose of the story was basically the sex scenes. I blushed as I read through them, trying to imagine myself and Edward as the people. I felt like my whole body was on fire.
The women in all the books I read were very confident and sexy. I knew that Alice and Rose were like that, but could I be sexy like that? I doubted it. I tried to absorb as much as I could, because I knew I was definitely going to need all the help I could get.
My hands shook as I finally finished reading through the third book I'd picked out. I was a quick reader, and the subject matter wasn't exactly hard to get through. I looked up at Alice and Rose's expectant faces and felt my blush get even deeper; I must have been purple by now.
"So, any questions for us?" Alice asked.
"Yeah, how the heck am I supposed to do these things with Edward?" I gasped.
Rose just laughed and ruffled my hair like I was a little kid. "Silly Bella, by the time you leave here today you will be more than ready to seduce the pants off Edward!"
The part of me that was all for this idea sat up and sang, but my shy side just trembled as I nervously looked around the room. I noticed then that Alice had set up her vast stores of beauty supplies. I moaned in defeat as I imagined all the torture I was about to endure.
It's all for Edward, my mind whispered. I tried to shore up my determination and turned to face the proverbial firing squad.
The next two hours were a blur of hair and make-up, finished off by a raid through the clothes that Alice threw at me to wear over my new lingerie. Finally, when we were done, Rose turned me around so I could look at myself in the mirror.
I looked sultry and sexy. My eyes widened as I took in the impeccable makeover they had performed on me. My brown hair was falling in loose waves down my back, slightly tousled to look like someone had spent the day running their fingers through it. My skin looked luminous and soft, my eyes were smoky and seductive. My lips looked plump and slightly red, as if I had been biting them a lot. My gaze traveled downward and I saw the outfit I wore. I had on a deep sapphire blue satin blouse that fit snugly along my modest curves. It was tucked into a pair of jeans that skimmed over my hips and butt like a tight glove. I wore little peep-toe pumps on my feet that made me just a couple inches taller than my usual 5'4".
My head swam as I took in my reflection. I looked like I was ready to finally seduce Edward, my best friend in the entire world.