Disclaimer: If you saw him/her/it on TV, I don't own her/him/it.
"STOPPABLE!!" bellowed Steve Barkin, "This liquid nitrogen isn't going to clean itself up!"
"Three things Mr. B. First, it will clean itself up. Since it's, you know, liquid nitrogen. It's going to evaporate. Second, not my department. Liquid nitrogen is part of chemicals, that would be Antoine's. Third, no orange tie, no..." Ron gazed upwards as Barkin had greatly intruded on his personal space. He looked up expecting to see black, but instead saw a flash of orange just below the jawline of his former high-school nemesis and current on-the-job nemesis.
"WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY TELL ME THESE THINGS!!"
"This is my way of telling you," replied a gradually reddening Barkin.
"If I had a dollar for every time someone told me that..." Ron mumbled.
"What did you say?"
"I said, 'I'll get to work on the cleaning.'"
Just as Ron began to mop up the now-less-than-existent mess, a familiar voice came on over the Smarty Mart intercom.
"Ron Stoppable, please report to the main entrance. Ron Stoppable, main entrance." Wade's voice echoed throughout Smarty Mart.
"THE VOICES! MAKE THEM STOP!" yelled Barkin about ten seconds after the announcement. He glanced over to the site of the spill, and saw that both Ron and the liquid nitrogen had vanished.
"Good work there, Stoppable!" Of course, Ron had already made his way out of earshot (running away from villains didn't just come in handy on the football field) and into Kim Possible's highly-modified Roth SL.
"Wade, thank you for hacking into the Smarty Mart intercom system. KP, what is the sitch?"
"Señor Senior, Senior has purchased some new Spinning Tops of Doom," said Kim.
"While I appreciate being liberated from work, I don't understand why we're needed."
"These aren't your ordinary Spinning Tops of Doom," replied Wade on the Sloth's onboard monitor. "They are 300 feet tall and 100 feet wide, they can travel thousands of miles across land and water, and he's planning to use them. Here's the video he sent out an hour ago.
Wade's face disappeared, replaced by Señor Senior, Senior's visage. The evil billionaire cleared his throat and began to speak.
"Greetings, citizens of the world. I am Señor Senior, Senior. I come to you bearing news. How you decide to react to it will determine whether it is good news or bad news. If you have visited my private island, you know that as part of the security system, I employ Spinning Tops of Doom, available wherever fine villainy accessories are sold. But then I thought, 'Why just use them for defense, when I could use them for offense?'"
"Hey, that was my idea!" yelled a voice from off screen.
"Not now, my son's girlfriend, I'm busy demanding things of the world's leaders. Where was I? Ah, yes, my Spinning Tops of Doom. I commissioned the construction of far larger versions of the originals. The shipment arrived today, and I must say I am pleased. I have twenty so far, and I should be receiving the others within the week. Therefore, I demand 100 billion dollars to be paid to me within the next two weeks. My investments have been taking a hit, and these new toys don't come cheap, you know. If I am not paid, I shall unleash my Spinning Tops of Doom on the world's largest cities. Thank you and have a nice day."
Wade's face returned to the screen. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
Kim replied, "If you wouldn't mind remotely piloting the car, Ron and I would like to spend a little...quality time together." Her eyebrows rose suggestively as she spoke to Wade.
"I've been wanting to test those systems anyway," said Wade. Hang on, I've got another hit on the site from...Martin Smarty?"
"What does he want?"
"Um, he wants to know if I can secure the Smarty Mart computers so that the person who hacked into the intercom system today can't get in."
"You are that person," stated Ron. "So he is basically asking you if you could design a computer system that you couldn't hack? Aww man, now my brain hurts!"
Wade sat there contemplating this problem. "Listen, Kim, could you just put it on autopilot? The coordinates to the Seniors' island are already programmed in. I don't think I'm up for driving. These sort of questions take a lot out of me."
"Take all the time you need, Wade." said Kim. "With the Sloth on autopilot," she said turning towards Ron, "we should be able to have a little fun on the way to this mission."
Just before they began the transoceanic part of their journey, Kim joined her best friend for the better part of their lives and boyfriend for a bit more than a year in the back seat of the Sloth. There would be much time and little to do before they arrived at their destination. After they graduated from high school, they had started a bit of a pre-mission tradition, at least on missions that took them far away from prying (by that I mean Dr. James T. Possible's) eyes.
"Let the games begin." breathed Kim.
"Gin!" called Ron, as he laid down his hand.
Kim looked at his hand in dismay. This was his sixth straight victory. The Ron Factor was working overtime, and she hoped he could save a little for, you know, the actual mission. But how could she get his mind off of the game at which he was currently excelling? Only one course of action would be certain to get the job done.
Ron had perhaps a tenth of a second to react to her attack, not even close to enough time to begin an effective counterattack. He simply decided to lie back and enjoy his defeat. He kept his hands in PG-rated places knowing that: one, they could be coming up on the Seniors' island any minute now, two, that Wade could contact them without warning to give them a final briefing heading into this mission, and three, that Kim's left knee was just far enough from his more sensitive areas to build up enough momentum to generate significant discomfort. Kim allowed him to come out on top just long enough for him to notice that his first reason for keeping his hands restrained was justified.
"We're here." said Ron. As Kim found her way back to the driver's seat, Ron's second concern about being all touchy-feely with Kim turned out to be justified as well.
"I've reviewed the latest satellite imagery of the Seniors' island." Wade put a few of these images on the screen. "He's added a few more self-activating lasers, but nothing that you haven't faced before."
"Could you go back to the first picture?" asked Kim.
"Sure," replied Wade, pulling up a live overhead shot of the complex.
"Zoom into and sharpen the area around the pool, please and thank you."
Wade complied with Kim's request. Señor Senior, Jr.'s girlfriend of the past eight months, Kim's longtime nemesis Bonnie Rockwaller came into view, along with a few servants providing her with beverages with tiny umbrellas in them and assorted skin care products.
"Is there a way we can stop them without coming anywhere near the pool?"
Wade's system furiously scanned the complex. "If you land on the private beach directly ahead of you, then go into the grotto on the west end of the beach, there will be a tunnel leading into what appears to be their private recording studio. Go up one flight of stairs and you find yourself in the hangar that has the giant Spinning Tops of Doom inside."
"Have I ever told you how much you rock, Wade?" said Kim, steering the Sloth towards the beach he described.
"Not in at least three weeks, but I'll let it slide. This time."
The Sloth ran aground, and Kim parked it in the shade. Kim and Ron got out and made their way into the grotto. They found the entrance and made their way through the damp tunnel.
"You'd think that with all their money, the Seniors could spring for waterproof secret passages. Rufus and mold do not get along very well." A muffled sneeze emanated from Ron's pocket just after he finished talking.
The end was near. Of the tunnel, that is. Sure enough, it emerged into what appeared to be a recording studio. One that was currently occupied by SSJ.
"Kim Possible?! What are you doing here? Whatever it is, it will not be!" SSJ said as he pressed a big red button on the mixing board. A net came down...right next to where Kim and Ron were standing.
"No...it's not fair! You were supposed to be standing about a foot to the left so that I could capture you and deliver you to my father!" pined SSJ.
"Sorry I messed up your plans," said Kim, "but I'm afraid mine conflict with yours. I have to stop your father from using his new and improved Spinning Tops of Doom."
"In that case, it would be advisable for you to carry on alone. The hangar's security system is not able to detect single people. I think it's something Papi needs to fix, but he's been all 'Let me handle this plot and you stick with your teen pop sensation thing' lately. Anyway, I was hoping that Ron could stay here and help me with my dream while you go and do your thing."
"Fair enough. But how exactly do you think he could help?" asked Kim.
"No one else has been able to. This is my destiny, and I will do anything to make it happen!" SSJ was nearly in tears.
"OK. KP, be careful out there. I love you." Ron kissed her a bit longer than SSJ would have liked, but then she was on her way.
AN: Nothing much has happened yet, but the title and rating will make sense later on. Don't hold your breath for updates, as I have a lot on my plate.