Okay so what he was pretty sure that his mom would flip out if he knew what he was doing
"You can't be trusted John."
"I don't have to prove myself to anyone especially you."
Every since her accident he realized what she really was:
A terminator and nothing more.
He had let himself be so naïve that she could be more than that. That maybe she was different but he was wrong. She was just like the others. They were all the same underneath and she could go 'bad' just like the others could. He had finally seen her as a machine and in turn pushed her away. It shamed and embarrassed that he let himself think of her as anything more.
In return she seemed to be to be acting differently too. How could she protect him if he wouldn't let her? That was her mission; her purpose and it seemed he had no problem taking that away from her. She began to watch him and follow him to no end because she knew somewhere that she was loosing him. And this confused her.
There were no answers to this problem in her programming.
Things were different before her accident. John was different. He was the only one who didn't look at her the way that Sarah or Derek looked at her. And now his emerald eyes showed the same apathy as the others.
And she didn't know what to do about it.
"John where are you going?" Cameron asked as she spotted him making his way out the door.
Cameron's sudden presence made him jump. How the hell did she do that? She always seemed to be sneaking up on him. After regaining his composure he sighed and looked at her tiredly. "I'm going out what does it look like?"
"Sarah told us-"
"I know what my Mom said," he interrupted. Sarah and Derek were out God knows where which left John and Cameron at home. As always he was instructed not to leave, no phone calls, and basically not to do anything but breathe.
The past few since she 'turned bad' and back again their relationship between them had been more hostile. "And I don't care." He turned once more to make an escape for the door.
The terminator's arm suddenly jolted between John and the door to block his passage way. "Where are you going?" she interrogated.
"It's not of your business. Now will you let me through?" he asked getting a little agitated. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and his lips turned into a thing irritated line.
"You are going to rendezvous with the female?" she asked tilting her head o the side.
John inwardly scoffed. Was this conversation really happening? Between his Mom and Cameron he really didn't have any freedom! "If you must know yes. I am going to 'rendezvous with that female' and that female's name is Riley." he said almost putting stress on every other word.
Was it so much to ask for a normal day?
Cameron stood immobile for a moment studying John and the possible consequences of his actions. She had to make sure that her mission: to protect John Connor, would not be jeopardized.
First of all
Riley was a female…and girls were well…complicated.
She did not pose any physical threat to John. Cameron had concluded that she did not possess the dexterity to wield a gun let alone aim a hit a target.
From the last she spoke to the girl she was completely oblivious to the fact that John was the future savior of mankind…including her.
John had been spending a lot of time with her. He even had tried to running away to spend time with her. Cameron did not like that.
He had been spending a lot of time on the phone with her and had even taught her the secret code. She did not like that.
Riley had even spent the night at their house one spontaneous evening.
Her behavior was completely irrational and illogical although Cameron knew that this information was irrelevant.
She did not like Riley.
She was not an immediate threat but she was an indirect one. Riley took John away and that it harder for her to protect him.
After a few seconds of silence she came to the conclusion. "No, you will not go meet Riley," she blatantly said.
This time John let out a hardened laugh. "Are you serious? You can't tell me what to do." He said trying to push her arm away with no avail. She had firmly placed her arm on the door frame and made no intention to move.
"Cameron move!" he said raising his voice to nearly yelling.
She had grabbed his upper arm as he tried to bypass her once more. "You cannot be allowed to leave the premises," she added.
He wasn't sure why she was so adamant about him not seeing Riley although he really didn't care to think about it at the moment. This had become more than just seeing a friend, this had become a battle of authority.
He pried her grip from his arm and took a step back and threw his arms up in the air in defeat. "What do you think you're doing!?" This time he was clearly yelling.
He gritted his teeth together in annoyance. This wasn't the first time that they had this kind of confrontation and probably wouldn't the last.
"I am taking the best course of action to ensure your safe-"
"Yeah well what about ensuring my sanity!" he interrupted her.
"The state of your sanity is irrelevant to meeting Riley. You will still remain sane if you do not meet with her," she explained. "I feel that this girl clouds your judgment. I feel that you should not see her.
Why? Why couldn't his future self just send back a robot that actually listened to him? Then something in John Connor exploded.
He couldn't take it anymore and all the pent up anger that he held exploded. He was angry at her. Things like her, machines, which made his life the living hell that it was. And now she wanted to stand in front of him and talk to him about how she felt?
"Shut up! I don't care do you understand? Your opinion is irrelevant. Your feelings are non-existent. You do not have an opinion. You do not have feelings because you are just a machine."
"My programming allows me to come to logical conclusions that produce the best outcome for a situation. It allows me to understand human emotion and to imitate it," she replied as if she was trying to prove something to him and herself. As if she said
See? I know hate, anger, happiness and love. I know what they feel like.
How did the conversation turn in to this?
"Yeah well tell me Cameron what would happen if I take out your CPU? Your personality is just a function. You may be able to pretend but you're not fooling anyone…but that's it. You'll only be able to pretend. Do you understand?"
She stood silent.
He stared at her through angry eyes as he let out all his frustration. He expected her to reply with another rebuking comment but she never did. She just stood there with her unblinking brown eyes as she lowered her arm from the door frame.
If he didn't know any better he would've thought that he had actually hurt her feelings. But they didn't have feelings…they couldn't...
His heart was beating as if he had just run a marathon and his breathing was irregular. He wasn't sure what had just happened.
And then he saw her lower her head and his heart broke. He could not believe he just said things he said but they had to be said…right?
Your opinion is irrelevant.
Your feelings are non-existent.
You do not have an opinion.
You do not have feelings because you are just a machine.
She took a moment as if having an internal battle with herself before she nodded her head.
"Yes, I understand. Thank you for explaining."
His green eyes followed her as she retreated up the stairs. Several times he almost called out to her but every time something held him back. The look on her face...
He wanted to go up and apologize for being so mean. For hurting her feelings…but that's when he stopped himself.
'She was just a machine'
Even with that last thought he couldn't make himself walk through the now unblocked doorway.
Disclaimer: I do not own Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles