Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything associated with twilight (apart from the following piece of writing). Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, and the ideas behind twilight.
Edward: Bella, do you want ride to Seattle?
Bella: With, with ... Santa?
Edward: No, Bella, with me.
Bella: With, with ... you?
Edward: Do you need a hearing aid?
Bella: Not with Santa??
Edward: With me!!
Edward: Good. So, let's not go to Seattle.
Bella: Okay, where shall we go?
Edward: It is a surprise.
Bella: Wait, dont you hate me?
Edward: I got over it, kind of, so stay away from me, but come with me.
Edward: Bella, are you sure you want to go with me to the ... place?
Bella: Yes, my pretty
Edward: Alright. IT'S A BAD IDEA. Alright. But, tell the whole population of Forks that you are coming with me to a place.
Edward: So that I dont EAT YOU!!
Bella: Good idea
She then goes and tells everyone who knew about her going with Edward somewhere that she is doing washing instead.
Bella: I think that I wont go, I'll do washing instead.
Jessica: Okay... good to know. LETS TALK ABOUT MIKE!
Charlie is gone. Edward is there.
Bella: Our clothes are the same. Oh god.
She reaches for the anti-depressants. They drive to the forest. Then five hours of Bella tripping over her own feet follow. Finally Edward steps out into his meadow, into the sunlight.
Bella: Wow, you sparkle. That's not creepy at all.
Edward: I don't breathe either, I eat animals and used to eat PEOPLE!
Bella: Cool... your so pretty.
Edward: That's so that I can EAT you.
Bella: Can I, um... touch you?
Edward: You sound perverted... so... yes!
Bella reaches out to touch Edward.
Edward: DEAR GOD NO!
He runs away and hides in the shadows. Bella breaks down.
Bella: But, but, you said!
Edward: I know. I will randomly rip a tree out of the ground and throw it at another tree now.
He does so.
Edward: And running. I can run.
He does so. Pretty fast.
Bella: You should join track...
Edward: BUT I'M DANGEROUS! YOU SHOULDN'T TOUCH ME!
Edward returns to her. Bella touches him.
Edward: mmm, that feels sooo good. Keep touching me. I want to eat you. Who knows that you are here with me?
Edward: NO ONE KNOWS! GOD, NOW I HAVE TO EAT YOU!
Bella: Okay, but don't let anyone find out it was you.
Edward: Let us return to the car, I will carry you.
Bella: How? I am bigger than a bag.
Edward: DID YOU NOT SEE ME BREAK THE TREE??
Edward: That's okay. I'm just annoyed with myself because you ae so dumb.
Bella: Makes sense, don't be.
They go to the car in about five seconds.
Bella: I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE! A LITTLE WARNING NEXT TIME!
Edward: You saw me run randomly fast, remember? GOD! What are you, a goldfish?
Bella: I feel sick.
Edward: Head between your knees.
She does so.
Bella: I still feel sick, so I will make out with you.
They do so.
Bella: Now I feel sick.
Edward: Woah! I shall drive.
Edward: Umm... you feel sick...
Bella: oh yeah! Okay, you drive.
They are home.
Bella: That was fast.
Edward: Seriously, will you get it already?! I am fast, and strong.
Bella: OH YEAH. Night
Sorry, I know it wasn't that good, but I was BORED. Anyway, please review.