DISLCAIMER: I dont own Twilight I own midnight, and to a lesser extent noon, but not Twilight. hehe
So they are at the meadow when...
Edward Cullen steps into the sun.
Bella: Glittering, that's what you do?
Edward: Yes, Bella dear.
Bella:And you've been warning me that you're some terrible beast?
'Ahh, run, the vampires are coming!'
'No!! Whatever you do, don't let it sparkle on you!!'
Edward: The glittering doesn't scare you then?
Bella: 'OMG, the vampires are coming; their eyes change colour, run, dear god, run! They glare at you goldenly!'
Bella: 'Oh no Fear the almighty Cullen Coven, they eat animals! RUN FOR YOU'R LIFE!'
Edward: Bella, stop that.
Bella: What are you going to do about it, huh, Edward? Glitter on me? Huh? Oh no, glitter man is coming!
Edward: Bella, you may think that we aren't that scary in comparison to generic 'Dracula' type vampires, but think about these things: We don't have to be invited inside to enter your house.
Bella: Clearly not, stalker boy, you've been watching me sleep all week.
'Oh noes! Fear the vampires; they might walk in on you while you're having a shower! Dear god, just kill me now!'
Edward: …We don't run from the smell of garlic, or die from eating it.
Bella: Dang, there goes my plan for sneaking some garlic bread into your next dead fix!
Edward: We aren't scared of holy crosses…
Bella: Now where does that put my faith in God?
Edward: We do not turn into bats.
Bella: 'Le gasp! The human-looking vampires are approaching! If only they could morph into small furry mammals…'
Edward: We don't wear long capes either.
Bella: They'll attack us with their fashion sense!
Edward: We don't live in Transylvania.
Bella: No shit, Sherlock.
Edward: We don't sleep in coffins.
Bella: 'Ahh! No, they slept on mattresses last night!'
Edward: Actually, vampires never sleep.
Bella: Even scarier. 'Careful! They haven't had their beauty sleep in a few decades!'
Edward: But we are centuries old.
Bella: Shit! They escaped from the retirement village!
Edward: I can read minds, well… not yours…
Bella: Oh no? He's going to mind read the person opposite me? Someone please save me from the horror?
Edward: Shut up, you know, I really am scary.
Bella: Whatever you say, monsieur Sparkles.
Edward: I am incredibly fast.
Bella: Well that's quite a bad thing in a few areas of intimacy, if you know what I mean, wink wink.
Edward: Haha, you say that now but later on a certain Isle of Esme where I break your bones… I am very strong. I am also…very… umm…ahh…
Edward: Well… yeah, but let us not talk about that right now.
Bella: We'll talk about that later, with my dad, maybe?
Edward: I thought that we were listing internet search providers… were we not?
Bella: Well… to be frank… no.
Edward: Haha, you're Frank!
Bella: And you're glittering, aren't you such a girl.
Edward: Listen Bella, in my rant about my features I forgot to mention. I could kill you in a second.
Bella: Yeah? Well, like, you wouldn't dare.
Edward: Oh yeah, biatch? Why not?
Bella: Because you like having someone who will actually talk to you. And no one else will.
Edward: If you're going to be a bitch I don't want to talk to you.
Bella: If you're going to leave me, I will tell Lauren where you live.
Edward: She already knows where I live, take that!
Bella: Wait, why?
Edward: Oh… another time, another time.
Bella: No, now.
Edward: Let's just say… the mothers of this town went through a phase where they were very enthusiastic about arranged marriages.
Edward: I know, Bella, I know. That's why I live here, for the oddness.
Bella: You mean that's why you exist here. Haha.
Edward: Whatever. Hey, where are you going?
Bella: I'm going to get a boyfriend who doesn't glitter.
Edward: Oh… you have fun with that.
Bella: And you have fun with your problem.
Edward: What problem?
Bella: Let us just say that I just alerted the FBI to check high school enrolment registrations for Edward Cullen, over the last one hundred years.
Edward: You didn't…
Bella: Oh yeah, baby. Let's see whose watching who sleep tonight!
Edward: OMG I'M SORRY, I WON'T EVER AGAIN, PLEASE JUST DON'T DO THIS!
Bella: Too late (she walks away)
Edward: PLEASE I PROMIS…. Wait, where did you get the FBI's number? Bella? BELLA? (He leaves the meadow also leaving a snail-trail of glitter after him)
Narrator: The end.
Thanks for reading ( i am assuming that if you are reading this you read that (points at text)