The house was remarkably silent, so Remus noticed, as he made his way back upstairs. It was strange, that only a day before it had been bustling with noise in Grimmauld place—now it looked abandoned and still. Of course it wasn't completely empty, Remus knew this, and he was once more reminded of it, when he looked down and didn't see feet but saw stomach.

He glared petulantly and opened the door to the bedroom, where the man that had put him in his current state sat on the bed. He was still half-dressed, undoing his fancy slacks before folding them over the back of a chair.

Sirius greeted Remus with a smile, but when he saw the man's glare, he sighed. They'd been at a party earlier—the first party they'd been at since Remus' stomach had started growing rapidly—and had seen Remus' parents for the first time in a long while. They'd never been very happy with their son's choice of partner, not even when Remus and Sirius were still in school, and at the news of the baby, they had been displeased, to say the least.

At first they'd showed up at the mansion unexpectedly, demanding that Remus came with them immediately—as if he was still thirteen, and they could keep him from staying in the house—of course Molly had taken action then, making it perfectly clear that if they didn't came to be polite and drink tea in silence, they were not welcome. Sirius knew he loved the woman, and that was one of the many reasons. She reminded him of his own mother—she could declare bloody murder while still staying composed, not raising her voice and not using a single curse word.

He supposed it was natural that Remus was silent when they arrived home again—the party was supposed to be fun, but it had ended in an argument neither of them were happy to have. So he had decided to give the man some time on his own, thinking his foul mood was bound to pass. Of course the mood wasn't the problem—it was that look. That look Remus had been giving him at irrelevant moments and unexpected times.

"Baby," he said with a small purr, as Remus sat down on his side of the bed, his silk robe comfortably wrapped around his body. He shifted against the pillows, his eyes not straying from Sirius' form, "you have to stop giving me that look."

"What look?" Remus growled, his glare still not leaving Sirius.

The older man stretched and took off his socks. It was a semi-warm night, and, too lazy to dress, he decided to sleep in his shirt.

"That look that says: 'fuck you Sirius Black, you made me fat!'"

Remus sulked angrily, and snarled: "well fuck you Sirius Black! You made me fat! And now you're going to leave me because I'm fat but you made me fat in the first place!"

Sirius chuckled at his childish tone, and crawled into the space next to his lover. It was true that Remus was at times very angry with him, for what he claimed was Sirius making him fat. It didn't remotely occur to him that it wasn't supposed to be a bad thing—all Remus cared about was the fact that no regular jeans would fit, and that Sirius was virtually unable to hold him around his back, because his stomach was in the way. To him, it seemed as if the only reason Sirius had knocked him up, was because he liked Remus' ass—definitely now it was an extra size bigger, and had more groping to it.

"Baby, I'm going to say this once, and never repeat it again, so listen closely," he approached his sulking love and leaned over the tired man's form, kissing his lips sweetly, "you're not fat. I did not make you fat. I am not in any way leaving you, because you're giving me this beautiful gift and I wouldn't want it with anyone else—I need you to understand," he watched Remus' eyes grow wide at his caring tone, and careful undid the silk robe, revealing his inflated stomach, "I am so honoured to have this baby with you. You let me have your gorgeous body; you made me feel loved and cared for me when I needed you. You let me into your heart and took mine in return and I love you more and more with every passing second—you are having this beautiful baby," he kissed the man's bellybutton for prove, "you let me bed you, make you mine and I am so blessed that you will carry my child—Remus, you are the most handsome man I've ever met, and I could never not love you," Remus blinked cutely, and Sirius smirked at the change in his lover's behaviour, "so, what do you say?"

"Thank you, Sirius Black," the brunette murmured obediently, "for making me fat."

"Good boy," Sirius kissed the man's lips, running a hand down Remus' stomach, between his legs—he gasped and his eyes fluttered, locking weakly with Sirius', "thank you Remus Lupin, for letting me make you fat."

And he then dedicated the rest of the night to making sure every single spot of Remus' body knew just how much it was loved by Sirius.


"I can't find my pants!" Sirius shrieked, loud and high-pitched, effectively waking up every single person in the dormitory.

"Shuddup!" James grunted and buried his head under the pillow.

Peter eeped and crawled deeper under the blankets. Remus grumbled.

"Why isn't anyone listening!" Sirius groaned, "it's fucking freezing, we have class in ten minutes and I'm pants-less!"

He then continued to go through his trunk in search of his jeans, giving everyone a nice view of his naked bottom. Remus huffed and opened an eye—he was met with the sight of Sirius' feet dangling out of the laundry basket, as he searched its contents—the boy was in obvious distress, and half-dressed. He'd managed to locate a clean, white shirt, and a Gryffindor tie. Buttocks? Stark-naked.

Remus blinked and closed his eyes again, carefully folding some of the blankets back. A chill racked his body, but he ignored it.

"Sirius Black," he said—and even though sleep was latched to his voice, he managed to sound stern—Sirius froze immediately in his wriggling, tumbling over, basket and all, "it is Sunday and the House-elves are cleaning your pants. If you do not come back to bed this instant, I will never let you kiss me again."

Sirius made a little strangled noise in the back of his throat, and shot over to the bed, immediately taking up the space Remus had freed for him—even though he had only been out of bed for five minutes, he was already shaking from the biting cold in the dormitory.

Remus closed the covers over his lover, and allowed him to flatter his shivering frame into Remus' chest. They huddled together closely, and Remus murmured: "let's sleep Padfoot."

"Mm," Sirius nodded, teeth clattering silently, "sleep is good."


Remus had never in his whole entire live been in a house as big as Sirius'. Never. He didn't even know any people that had things such as antechambers and libraries, and ballrooms. The biggest house he'd ever been in was his aunt's, and she had two bathrooms—while Remus and his parents lived in a two bedroom, one bathroom kind of house.

It was safe to say, that to Remus, Sirius' house was huge.

The garden, wasn't a garden. Remus thought it more accurate to refer to this so called garden as a forest—and he would discuss this with Sirius, for anything that had more than five trees surely must be a forest—and it was so fucking beautiful. Unbelievable. Everything was covered in snow and it was very pretty to watch, as snowflakes fell and covered the grass.

After hiding in Sirius' bedroom, they'd finally faced the wrath that was Cygnus Black. She had yelled at her son as soon as he'd arrived with his hand locked in Remus'—and Remus really should've known. Sirius wasn't the kind of person to tell his mother he was gay. And Sirius' mother wasn't the kind of person to accept her son if he were gay.

Hell, he was a Gryffindor! Hadn't she been through enough?

Fortunately for Remus, Cygnus did love her son, albeit begrudgingly. So when she called Remus names, and Sirius threatened to leave and never come back if she did not accept his brunette lover, she realised that, okay, yes, Sirius was in love with him. It may or may not be a crush, it may or may not be serious, but right now Sirius was in love with him, and that would have to do.

So Sirius had been allowed to proudly announce to any and all family-members that would listen, that Remus Lupin was his, and his alone, and anyone that would even try to touch him would be hurt—and since it was Sirius, all family members evidently listened. Remus had to sit through the Christmas dinner party with a nasty blush on his face because Sirius wouldn't stop touching him, and it was then that Remus knew it.

Sirius wanted more.

It hadn't been anything in particular really, that let Remus in on it. But Sirius had brought him to meet the Black family, he had held Remus' hand as he smoked a cigar with his dad, trying to explain all the pros to dating a boy to the slightly intoxicated man. Sirius had pulled him onto his lap as he played cards with the older Blacks, calling him baby and cooing in his ear all the while.

Remus had met the Blacks, had dined with them, had conversated with them, and he still lived.

Somehow, in his head, all that said was: "Sirius wants sex."

And he knew that might not be the most logical of thoughts, but it was the only thing that seemed real to him.

Even more so, when two hours later he found himself half-naked in the library—with an equal half-naked Sirius Black, sexy in his button down and waistcoat, cigarette by his side—he was shown that even not so logical thoughts could turn out to be very correct.

So yes, Sirius wanted sex. And Remus supposed, yes, he wanted it too.


"Mister Lupin, where's your tie?" Remus bit his lip—he had hoped his students wouldn't notice the absence of his tie. It had been their Christmas present a couple of years ago, one with wolf-cups on it and a Christmas tree. They'd given it to him just to have a laugh, but he'd made it a point to wear it every year the last lesson before Christmas, when he had Harry and the others.

That morning, however, his tie had been attached to something he did not want to wake. Said thing was asleep up in his room—and he hoped thing was sensitive enough to stay there. He had hoped it all morning, and, so far so good.

"I couldn't find it," Remus handed out the student's papers, smiling at Ron, "first thing after the holidays, I swear."

Seamus howled enthusiastically, and Remus rolled his eyes, such animals these students were.

He was just handing Draco his paper, when a loud thud came from his room—something knocking against the door, apparently—and the classroom went completely silent. They all stared at the winding staircase, which lead to his bedroom. He froze, standing in the back of his class as they heard dark curses coming from the other end—and then another thud.

"REMUS!" oh yes, someone was calling for him, loud and whiny, and he knew that voice—he bit his lip. The students looked at him, then back to the door. It opened. "REEEEMMI?"

Remus wanted to die.

"I can't see shite! What did you do!" Sirius Black came out of the room, hands in front of him to make sure he wouldn't bump into things—his hair a mess, only a white shirt covering up all his naked glory. And Remus' Christmas tie, bound around his eyes—not to mention he'd done that himself, claiming Remus' room was too light and he wouldn't be able to sleep without it. "Bloody bastard! Undo it! I swear if you're not—" he paused and carefully came down one step. Remus tried to sink away in shame, but found that he couldn't. All the students gaped at the half-naked man, "I will kill you! Remus!"

"I..." Remus swallowed—the kids turned to him, and Sirius' head tipped up at the sound of his voice. He carefully moved towards the front of his class, "I'm here Sirius—it's a tie."

"Why did you blindfold me with a tie?" Sirius frowned, reaching the end of the stairs—he was dangerously close to Neville's desk, and the boy looked close to fainting, "I'm sure it's kinky, but aren't I supposed to be awake for that? Or did you molest me in my sleep again?"

"I do not molest you!" Remus blushed, and rolled his eyes at the same time, "you said it was too bright in my room."

"Oh, so I did," Sirius nodded, and stopped walking. He tried to take off the tie, but the knot was too tight, "okay, this isn't working. Help me Remi," he pouted, "where are you?" he outstretched his hand, effectively thumping over a vase on the drawers by the wall. He withdrew it immediately as if touched by fire and coughed, "was that valuable?"

Remus approached the half-naked raven, and carefully started yanking at the knot, hoping Sirius wouldn't do anything else that put him in an embarrassing situation—though really, this was embarrassing enough. Sirius wrapped an arm around him, and purred softly.

"Mmm... hey, wait. You're wearing clothes," Sirius frowned again.

"Ah, so I am," Remus nodded, tugging at the tie.

"Why aren't you naked baby?" Sirius tried to kiss him, but missed, kissing his ear instead, "it's too early to be dressed."

"It's noon Sirius."

"Noon... don't you teach when it's noon?" Sirius scratched his leg absentmindedly—revealing his pale thighs to the class, but they were too much in awe to care really.

"Well you see," Remus finally managed to undo the tie, and pulled it away from Sirius' eyes. The raven blinked two times, and his mouth dropped, "I was trying to."

Sirius swallowed, bit his lip, and then stared at Remus with big eyes. He recovered much faster than the students, and whispered—though they could still all hear him: "okay, Remy, this is the plan... give me your pants," in his most serious tone.

"What! No!" Remus frowned, tapping his foot.

"But I'm naked," Sirius hissed.

"I'm not giving you my pants. You're going back upstairs," the brunette glared and Sirius pouted.

"But what if I accidentally flash them wi—"

"Stop talking!" Remus shrieked exasperated. He moved in front of Sirius, and then started pushing the man back to the stairs with his bum and shoulders—trying to not make eye-contact with any students.

"Baby, what are you doing?" Sirius was frowning again, but wrapped his arms around Remus' waist.

"Covering you up—move."

"You know, I kinda like this. We should do this more often," Sirius grinned and kissed Remus' neck—Remus slapped him on his head.

"Shaddup! More moving!" they made their way to the stairs, and then paused. Remus pointed to his door, "up you go. And stay there."

"But Moony—" Sirius began.

"No whining. Sex if you behave," Remus said sternly, and Sirius' eyes started glittering.

"You promise?" he asked hopefully, and cheered when Remus nodded. He was about to turn around and go back to the bedroom—Remus was inwardly hoping he would move, fast, fast, faster—when he noticed Remus was still holding the tie.

"Oh, wait baby," he took it from the brunette's hand, and put it around his neck, "here you go. Don't forget about sex or I tie you to the bed tonight!" and with that he left again.

Remus turned to his class—all gaping and staring and spluttering—scratching the back of his neck sheepishly.

"So... is someone's worst fear by chance a half-naked Sirius Black?"


It was reasonably quiet in the kitchen of Grimmauld place—despite the fact that it was bustling with people. Remus was absolutely bored, because they hadn't told Tonks yet—about how Sirius and him were madly in love and had rowdy sex every night—and she still had this silly idea that Remus liked her.

She'd been talking to him for ages now, and he really wasn't interested. Harry gave him a sympathetic glance—making sure none of the girls caught it, because they were quite fond of Tonks—and then his eyes suddenly fixed on the door, widening slightly. Remus turned, and there was Sirius, and he was... oh. Remus' mouth dropped, and Tonks, who'd noticed Remus had stopped paying altogether, looked at him too. Sirius was wearing the white button-down shirt, with navy boxers, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Sirius," Remus said, a gasp sounding through, in total awe because that was... "are you deliberately trying to rouse me?"

"Hmm?" Sirius pushed a chair back, and flopped down, drowsily smiling in question.

Before Tonks could say something to win Remus' attention back, he'd gotten off his own chair and was happily straddling Sirius' instead, forcing his lips onto the other's brutally while he tried to keep his balance, hand firmly plastered on Sirius' gorgeous, half-naked thigh.

At first Sirius was too shocked to do anything, but then his arms encircled the brunette's waist, and he was carelessly mapping his mouth with his tongue—and kissing his Moony was really divine.

When they separated Sirius' cheeks were slightly flushed and he sighed admirably at Remus.

"Wauw, Moony..." he didn't know what else to say and Remus grinned.

"'s your fault, really."

"What did I do?" Sirius asked, somewhat surprised, and Remus tipped up his eyebrow.

"You're wearing the fuck-shirt," he explained in his isn't-it-obvious tone—Tonks was still in a state of shock, but those words revived her as she continued to stare.

"Fuck-shirt?" Sirius questioned.

"Yeah, you know," Remus leaned back a bit, nibbling his lover's bottom lip, "when we were still at Hogwarts you'd wear only that shirt, and then you'd wake me up in the middle of the night saying: 'baby, I'm cold, let me sleep with you' and then of course you'd end up demanding sex. And don't tell me you slept in that shirt last night because I was there and you were naked."

"It was kinda the only thing I could find and..." Sirius paused, eyes locking with Remus', "wait... you're proposing sex and I'm stalling, why?"

"Beats me love," Remus grinned and Sirius licked his chin sweetly, kissing him softly.

"Okay, get up baby," he gave Remus' ass a tap for good measure and said man scowled, standing none-the-less, "we're gonna have some fun."

Without another word they left, and everyone returned to their breakfast, except for Tonks, who was debating whether or not she should kill herself.

AN: yeah, yeah. Sirius' mum's name is Walpurga. Guess what? I don't give a shit. I've also written the piece where Remus finds out about his pregnancy, but I'm not going to update it yet.

I've written sex that goes with 13, from a different pov, and will update when it's spellchecked and completely finished.

Oh... about 14... always blame the boggart.