A.N: Not mine, just the bad writing. For SaoirseSpeir: Sorry this is, like years too late. But it's done. I just wasn't happy with it for a while.


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The door opened softly, and a young man stuck his head cautiously through the doorway.

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All clear.

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He slowly, quietly inched his way through the door, and the door clicked softly behind him. The office was quiet.

Deathly quiet.

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The large plush chair was empty at the desk; so was the couch.

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Yakou exhaled softly. He was exactly two minutes late. But if Neuko wasn't here, then he wasn't in trouble. Something tickled his ear, and he brushed at it.

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"Little slave" a voice purred into his ear. "You're late."

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He rubbed his scalp, or what was left of it, and muttered angrily. Damn, her nails were sharp!

"So, today, I want you to go through those news-clippings, clean those windows, file these papers and give me a pedicure." Neuko said, strutting back and forth in front of him. Her hips swayed suggestively, and he tried to ignore them.

"Did you hear me, monkey-man?" Neuko asked, green eyes flashing dangerously.

"Yes'm." Yakou said, reaching for a newspaper. Today was going to be one of those days.

A long, lithe, pale arm encircled Yakou's neck, and he stiffened. "Little worm…" she murmured in his ear, "Little worm, have I told you yet today how infinitely superior I am to you?"

"Yes, you have. Three times every hour since I got here-" Yakou said, stopping himself when a curved claw was inches away from his eyeballs.

"Is that annoyance I hear in your voice, little worm? Why should you be annoyed with me? It should be an honor to be verbally abused by a being such as myself?" Yakou remained silent. "No matter." Claws dug into the front of his school sweater, and pulled him at an odd angle over the back of the couch. He grunted as he hit the floor, and was haphazardly dragged across the floor.

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"Come, slave. We have a mystery."

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"Reattach my arm, proglottid." Neuko ordered, throwing her severed limb at him.

He caught it, but it flopped disgustingly. He looked from the pale arm, to Neuko, who was stretched out on the office couch, back to the floppy arm. Her coat lay where it was tossed on the floor, crumpled and slightly blood splattered (understatement). He was going to have to clean that up later…he sighed.

The arm in his hands wriggled slightly, startling him. He quickly dropped it.

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It moved!

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Holy shit, it moved!

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There was a cluck of anger from Neuko, so he quickly retrieved it, but glowing green eyes glared at him.

"Slave…" Neuko warned. The arm waved angrily at him.

Seeing a disembodied arm do that is rather terrifying.

Yakou stammered an apology and knelt down to reattach the arm.

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An arm-aching fifteen minutes later, Yakou realized the arm was going to take a long, long time to reattach itself.

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"Neuko-san…..is there some other way to do this? I mean, we have duct tape in the desk, right?" Yakou asked, avoiding looking at Neuko's face. A fist angrily smacked the top of his head.

"Stupid slave. That would leave marks. You don't want people thinking we have a relationship that interesting now, would you?" her face came eerily close to his. "Or do you?" she whispered. Yakou felt his face grow hot, and he stammered his disagreement.

"Then no Duct tape. For me." She answered, an evil sparkle in her eyes.

Yakou looked at the clock, it was ten to midnight, with no relief in sight. Neuko had dozed off a while ago, and he was threatened bodily harm if he did the same.

Five minutes until midnight.

He was so blasted tired.

His head nodded onto his chest, and he jerked up. Gently shaking himself, he tried to concentrate on something.

Neuko came to mind instantly. Then again, she was sitting there, and he was holding her entire arm in place…and she had been tormenting him all FREAKING DAY!

erm…hehem…he cleared his throat and his angry thoughts.

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Neuko stirred, then opened her eyes, green sleepily peering at him.

"Slave. You're moving to much."

"Sorry, ma'am." Yakou murmured, waiting to be hit, yet again. Neuko made a soft noise of displeasure. or discomfort. Green eyes stared at him. Again.

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It was ten after midnight, now,Yakou noticed. Where'd the time go?

It must be the sleep deprivation.

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"Slave." Neuko said, holding her arm in place and sitting up. "Sit behind me. I require a cushion."

Yakou sat momentarily stunned, shocked, and surprised. Don't forget scared. Being any sort of sitting or cushioning device for Neuko was never a pleasant experience.

"Slave." Neuko tersely said, " Now."

Yakou slowly, reluctantly got up and sat behind her. She leaned back, elbowing him a few times in the ribcage with her good elbow.

Eventually, she nudged him into a position she found suitable. She was warm and...soft... Yakou noticed, somewhat surprised. He'd always thought she be freezing and made out of granite or something, being the demon she was.

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"I did not relieve you of your duty, Louse. If my arm even looks out of place, I will turn your skull into a drinking goblet, and use your corpse as a coffee table." Yakou nodded, and placed his hand on her shoulder, trying to keep it in place. After a few moments, his arm started to shake from the work it took to keep his arm at that odd angle.

"Slave, I suggest holding my arm in place a different way." Neuko murmured.

"Um…Neuko..how-"

Neuko rolled her eyes, and grabbed at Yakou's right arm with her good, left arm, dragging over her injured one.

"Hold like this, coccidia. I believe you humans call it a hug? It applies the most even pressure, so my arm won't look terribly disfigured. I like having perfect, flawless skin." Neuko said, letting her head rest on his chest. "Now, let me get some sleep."

Yakou felt himself turning red, again. They were too close before. Now, they were past too close. It felt…odd. That, and the deathly silence in the room was a little unnerving.

After all the noise with the police and the Sai….it was odd. This was, what, the third freaking time Neuko had one of her limbs disconnected from her body? First it was a hand, then a foot, now her entire arm. Maybe next time her head would become disconnected. If he was lucky.

He yawned, reminded yet again that it was after midnight, he had not eaten in hours and he required sleep. He felt himself nodding off; the weight and warmth of Neuko's body lulling him to sleep.

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Minutes or hours later, he startled awake, gasping for air. An elbow was firmly lodged in his ribcage.

"About time you let go!" Neuko growled, removing her elbow. "Damn bloody ape."

Yakou watched as Neuko extracted herself from the him and the couch, and examined her arm. There was no seam where shoulder met arm.

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"Pity. I wanted an excuse to throw something at you." Neuko sniffed, and sauntered over to the desk and computer. There was a moment of silence before something came hurtling at Yakou.

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"Oh well. I'll just use no excuse and throw something any way!" She chirped as the phone book she threw smacked Yakou noisily in the face.

She quickly scanned through a police website before deciding on a case.

"Come slave!" she commands, "We have a mystery to find!"

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Stifling an oncoming nosebleed, Yakou wordlessly followed his employer.


A.N:

There are some vocab words for you guys in here. I won't tell you what they are, but the words are insults, are a type of parasite, and are quite nasty indeed.

So, here is something that I had hiding on the deep recesses of a long forgotten back up of my computer. not my best work, but I promised a reader something NXY genderbent, as a prize for a contest I had a year and a half ago.

will update soon-ish somewhere on this account, I hope.

Life still sucks, yadda yadda yadda, etc, etc, etc. In other words, Status Quo. I'm fine, life is fine. I'll get that bitch Murphy back eventually. And I'm back to writing fanfiction at one in the morning. Yay! So, thanks for the patience peeps, and SaoirseSpeir, I hope you enjoyed.

ttyl, peeps.