Written for LJ user jenab's porn!battle this week. Not actual porn, but they are in bed so it sorta counts.


With Technicolor Comes Flying Monkeys

Well, Toto, I guess we're not in Kansas anymore.

'You'd like Kansas,' Barney snarked once. 'It's like Canada with more tornadoes.'

Yep, pretty sure they're over the rainbow and into Oz, because Robin's seeing colours she didn't know existed and the room seems to be spinning. Maybe they're caught in a twister.

Her back arches off her bed and she blindly reaches out for him.

Barney's occupied, sprawled out between her thighs, lips, tongue and fingers, sucking, nipping, thrusting deep inside her. His other hand palms her breast and that's the one she grabs, lacing their fingers together, anchoring her to him.

He gently brings her to her orgasm and through it, eliciting first moans, then gasps for air. After, he slides up her body, laying kisses all the way, until he's sidled up right next to her, their hands still clasped, grinning down at her.

He is so smug. But seeing as her legs still haven't stopped trembling, she'll let him get away with it, just this once, and pulls him down for a long kiss.

"What we were you muttering about?" he asks when his mouth is free, tracing circles on her body.


"I think you called me Toto at one point."

She snorts in laughter. "Probably."

He quirks an eyebrow at her. "Are we talking the dog or the band?"

"Do you have a preference?"

"Well, if it's the dog then that's saying something about your kinks that even I don't want to know about and I'm into almost everything. And if it's the band, it explains the 'Sandcastles in the Sand' video, but I would still be depressed about the whole thing. I do have 'Roseanna' on my iPhone, though, if it'll get you in the mood."

"I'm naked and in bed with you. How much more in the mood do you want me to be?"

"Don't change the subject."

Rolling her eyes, Robin shifts so that she's half on top of him, her head on his shoulder. "This whole thing, it doesn't feel a little weird to you?"

"What, the sex?" he scoffs. "No, I'm familiar with the practice."

"Not the sex." She smacks him lightly on the chest before kissing it better. "This having sex continuously. With only one person. I don't want to use the 'R' word – "

"Then don't," he cuts in.

"But we seem to have started one without even realising it."

He smiles at her for a moment, with an odd look on his face. Well, an odd look for Barney. She imagines it would look natural on most men's faces. But she's seen it before, a sort of fondness mixed with him pitying how dumb she's being. "Look, we'll never be in a rela… rela….rel…," he stutters and then gives up, "one of those things, because that's not us."

"Then what is us?"

"I don't know. Just Barney and Robin: Epitome of Awesome."

She laughs at that, and he tilts her chin up to kiss her deeply.

"So, which Toto was it?" he asks.

"The dog, but not in the way you were thinking, perv. It's just sometime, when we're here together, or at your place, or any of the other places that we do this, I feel like I've landed in Oz."

"Is this an admission to a midget fetish?"

She sighs heavily. "Barney."

"Sorry, small person fetish?"

It is amazing how effective a glare can be sometimes. He immediately looks repentant and gestures for her to go on.

She struggles to find the words. "I don't know, it's like I'm seeing things in Technicolor for the first time and that's great but there's also some scary flying monkeys and a witch who's after me."

For a long moment after that, he just strokes her back. Finally, he says, "Well, I guess there's just one thing to do then."

"What's that?"

"Get you a little gingham dress and some ruby slippers."

He uses her half-hearted smack to pull her fully on top of him, kissing her so hard it takes her breath away. They spend the rest of night exploring the yellow brick road.