So sorry for taking so long to update! This is still in Hueco Mundo. Some OOC-ness, so beware!
I do not own Bleach or Lost.
Spoilers for the end of Lost season 4. But if you're not caught up what are you doing reading this? Go watch! Soooo gooooood...
"Again?" Sousuke Aizen asked, glaring at his frowning subordinate. "Do you mean to tell me that we have no television…again?"
"You don't understand," responded Gin Ichimaru, sitting rigidly in front of the smoking appliance, his arms crossed stubbornly in front of him. "The boat exploded. An' Clare's dead…Sawyer jumped off the helicopter…it's jus' too much!"
"So you repeatedly stabbed the television? MY television?" demanded Aizen, his voice slowly escalating in volume.
"I regret nothin'."
Aizen threw his hands up in exasperation. "Well I do! Every time I try to do something nice for all of you, you find some way to ruin it. I brought you a computer, and Ulquiorra used my credit card to buy blue face paint on E-bay. Not only that, but the seller stole my identity! Do you remember how long I was on the phone with the bank for?!"
"Wait-you're sayin' Ulquiorra paints those tears onto his face? I thought he just cried all the time!"
Aizen ignored him, continuing. "And I sincerely hope you haven't forgotten what happened when I got us all copies of Harry Potter," he ranted, pacing back and forth.
Gin frowned. "Ah…that's right…Grimmjow locked himself in his room for three days after finishin' book six…"
"Not to mention how Szayel Aporro spent two months researching how to turn our swords into wands," Aizen added bitterly. "That's how we lost Nel."
Gin stood up. "But I thought Nnoitra split her mask open in some crazy quest for revenge or somethin'!"
Aizen shook his head, massaging his temples. "That's what I want the Espada to think. How do you think they'd react if they found out one of our highest ranked members mysteriously disappeared because Szayel got a little over zealous?"
Gin remained silent for a few seconds, his forehead furrowed in concentration. He disliked seeing his friend in such distress, especially in the midst of this whole Ichigo-and-co-invading-Hueco-Mundo fiasco.
"Tell ya what," he said, finally reaching what he deemed to be a favorable solution. "Let's take a trip down to the material world. We'll get a new television. I promise no one'll stab it or cero it or experiment on it."
Aizen eyed him skeptically, one eyebrow raised.
"You promise." Gin nodded. Aizen sighed. "Do you know how much a new television set is going to cost me? I mean, Orihime Inoue's new outfit set me back quite a bit. And with the economy the way it is these days…" he shook his head. "I just don't see how it could work out."
"Well…what if I paid for it?" suggested Gin.
Aizen stared at him.
"You'd be willing to pay for it?"
"I suppose I can't turn down an offer like that, can I?" Aizen said, his face relaxing back into its normal amused but menacing expression. He teased a smirk out, his eyes flickering ominously. "I'll take you up on that, Gin. Let's go."
Gin's smile retreated, a foreboding feeling flooding his stomach. He reluctantly grabbed his wallet, trying to memorize the satisfying sensation of knowing it was full of cash, almost positive that he would not be experiencing such an emotion for a long time.
Later that day…
Sousuke Aizen and Gin Ichimaru carefully studied the audio-visual section of Best Buy, peering into various television sets and grilling helpless employees about their merits. Gin's mood worsened every time he picked up a price tag, regretting his offer to pay for Aizen's new television set more and more with each increasingly expensive model they passed.
"This is one of our nicest models," a young, lanky man said enthusiastically, gesturing to a large television on display. "It's a flat-screen, high-def that comes with surround sound and a five year warranty."
Aizen nodded approvingly. "Five year warranty?"
"Yep," replied the salesman. "That covers pretty much anything you do to it."
Aizen stared nastily at Gin. "Even, say, if someone were to repeatedly stab it with a sword?"
Gin exhaled sharply, rolling his eyes and turning to face the other way.
The salesman glanced uneasily between the two of them. "Um…I suppose so, but I would definitely recommend…you know, not stabbing it."
"Yes, I think we are in agreement there," sneered Aizen.
"I can't take you anywhere," grumbled Gin.
"What was that? I couldn't hear you," inquired Aizen, cupping his hand to his ear.
"Never mind, I'm gonna go an' look at iPods. Come get me when ya wanna pay," snapped Gin. Aizen snickered to himself.
"Is everything all right, sir?" asked the salesman. "It seems like your friend is unhappy with this selection."
"Oh, he'll be fine," Aizen assured him. "He gets into these moods sometimes. It's not your fault."
The salesman smiled. "It seems like you've been together for a long time."
Aizen nodded. "Yes…he's been behind me for centuries. I'm lucky to have found such a faithful supporter."
"That's great…in this day and age relationships are barely worth anything. I applaud you for making it work for so long."
Aizen squinted at the salesman, confused.
The salesman cringed. "I'm sorry! I just assumed you two were…you know, together," he mumbled, slowly stepping backwards. "I can ring you up now, if you'd like…"
"I think that would be best." Aizen followed the salesman to the register, waving Gin over from the music section.
Gin trudged over to the checkout line, reaching into his robes to pull out his wallet.
"All right, how much?" he asked miserably.
"The total's going to be $7,052.76," recited the salesman. Gin inhaled deeply, carefully placing bills down on the counter.
"Gin, how is it possible that you have so much cash?" demanded Aizen, watching in disbelief as Gin continuously extracted money from his wallet.
"I don't tell you everything I do," he muttered, refusing to meet Aizen's stare.
"Apparently not," scoffed Aizen. "You know, you should really put that in some sort of account. I wouldn't feel comfortable just leaving it around Las Noches-"
"Shut it, will ya?" hissed Gin, laying down the last bill. "All right, let's get goin'," he said as the salesman loaded the television onto a flatbed cart. " Mythbusters is on tonight. Y'know how excited Szayel gets…"
"Indeed," mused Aizen, opening a large garganta in the parking lot. "You know, that salesman thought we were involved," he told Gin matter-of-factly.
Gin recoiled in disgust, his upper lip curling.
"He what? I'm definitely never goin' out shopping with you again," he said, stepping into the opening.
Aizen nodded, wheeling the television in after him.
"You never did tell me how you make all that money…"
I miss Lost so much! *cries* At least it's coming back soon.
I did not intend to make Aizen and Gin bicker like an old married couple. But once I started writing this chapter that's what came out haha. You are more than welcome to make requests for future chapters. I will try my best to accommodate!
Best Buy, iPods, and anything else I mentioned belongs to their respective owners.