Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl.
Author's Note: Tis the conclusion... thank you all so much for reading and commenting.
He was stroking her face with the back of his knuckles then trailing his fingertips into her hair; stroking it soothingly; his mouth was leaving a path of kisses across her jaw, one of his arms between her body and the mattress, tilting her into his chest, holding her against him tenderly, like the dream it was.
It all felt so good, so comforting, she let herself turn into his touch, turn into him; let herself slip further into the dream, smiling a little when he felt his hand skimming down the curve of her hip.
"Sweet dreams, Waldorf?" He whispered into her ear, breath warm against her skin, his voice…
She tensed. His voice was… real.
She came instantly awake to the realization that Chuck Bass was not in her dreams, he was in her bed.
She gasped and screamed in one breath, shoving him back and ripping off her eye mask to glare directly into his smirking face.
"Chuck! What the hell!?" She cried, shoving him again and scrambling back away from him and reaching for the lamp on her night stand.
He chuckled, infinitely amused, she jumped off the bed as a dim light flooded the room.
"What the hell are you doing here?!"
"I think it was fairly obvious… but I can certainly restage it for you if you'd like."
Blair wrapped her silk robe around herself while glaring darkly Chuck. "How did you even get in here!" She continued to yell, hating the way his presence unbalanced her.
He stretched out on her bed; put her pillows behind his head. "Security guard knows me, Blair," he reminded her, "I did expect to have dodge a certain maid or mother… imagine my… delight… when I found neither present."
She was pretty sure if she scowled any harder her face would freeze in that shape, so instead she drew herself up and cleared her expression. "My mother was delayed in Milan." She informed him.
And then he smiled at her-- that lazy, sensual smile that set every atom in her body on fire.
"Don't you smile at me, Chuck Bass! You can't just show up here and molest me in my sleep! What the hell is your problem?!"
The smile didn't fade or falter, "You didn't seem to mind the… molestation."
"I was asleep!" She yelled and then huffed, "What are you even doing here?"
"Well, I was hoping to do--"
She reached down, grabbed her other pillow and smacked him with it.
He laughed, held up his arms against the onslaught and gracefully slid off the bed. "Relax, I arrived in peace."
She dropped the pillow back on the bed, glared at him over the silk sheet they'd warmed.
"You avoided me today." He said finally, voice serious.
She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you know-- I was busy today."
"Yes, Gossip Girl did inform us all of your reconciliation with my dear sister."
"Right. So you know that I couldn't possibly--"
"And yet Serena was suspiciously teary tonight at dinner."
Blair arched an eyebrow, "Surely you don't expect I won't make her work for it, do you?"
He grinned and started coming around the bed towards her. "I suppose not… though that was quite the heartwarming embrace we were all blasted."
"I don't need to explain my— anything to you, Chuck. Leave." She said haughtily with a toss of her hair and really hoped the dim light in the room hid the way her eyes were getting wider with every step that brought him nearer to her.
"Avoidance is beneath you, Waldorf," he drawled, coming up next to her; his gaze searching her face.
She took a step back, away from him. "It isn't the only thing beneath me I've done lately."
He followed her. "You do have a penchant for being on top…"
"You're disgusting. Get out." She told him, but even she had to admit there was no heat behind the words. "God…" she continued, "What time is it?" Maybe if she talked enough, moved around enough it would distract them.
"What have you concocted for my sister?"
"Is that why you came here?"
He was too close, leaning into her space. "No," he purred, slipping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer, "I came for you."
"Chuck… don't." She pulled away, turned her face; this couldn't happen. Not again.
"That's not what you were saying last night."
"It's what I'm saying now."
"Your eyes aren't matching your mouth again," he whispered.
And then he was kissing her—except that with Chuck it was never just a kiss. It started with heat simmering all over your body, with hands caressing you all over, then it was bodies pressed together and breaths quickening, it was your brain short circuiting as the heat boiled over and passion caused every logical thought you could have, should have, to flee for cover; it ended with suddenly finding yourself on top of your silk sheets, his weight pressing down on you, your body responding to his instinctively and every moment taking on the surreal quality of a dream…
Except this was real.
"No, no, Chuck, no…" she turned her face and pushed at his chest.
"Stop with the teasing."
"Stop coming on to me."
"You liked it last night."
She shoved him harder and he sighed loudly and then shifted off her, he dropped on the bed next to her so they were lying side by side for a moment, both breathing hard.
Blair stood, wrapping her robe around herself again. "Can you just… tell me why you're here… and then leave."
"You know me… I like to be on the ground floor…" he said then paused, stretching out on her bed, his feet on the floor. Her eyes drifted to the patch of skin that showed where his shirt rode up. "And there's always a scandal brewing inside that pretty head…"
She blinked and he was sitting up on the bed, smirking at her. She scowled and tuned away from him, moved to her make-up table and took a seat, crossing her legs demurely.
"I have no idea what you're talking about. You said it yourself, Serena and I reconciled; there is no scandal."
"And you said it yourself, you're going to make her work for it."
"I certainly didn't mean anything scandal worthy by that."
"So you are going to let her have your throne?"
She kept her face blank, but couldn't stop the tiny smirk that slid into her eyes.
And even in the dimly lit room, Chuck caught it.
He sat up straighter, studying her, "You want her to have it."
She said nothing.
He stood and came around the bed to take a seat on its other side, closer to her. "You've decided on wanting something else… what is it?"
And she scoffed, couldn't stop herself—it was fun to have Chuck guessing. "I have not."
He was silent after that and she could feel him willing her to speak, to tell him, but she was his equal in wills and all it did to her was bring out her smirk.
"You want to rule." He said softly, "It's what you do." His eyes raked over her, "But perhaps there's more than one way to rule…?"
She let herself smile, because was the kind of thing, kind of fun, she could only have with Chuck. "Hm, perhaps there is."
He smiled back. "What delicious game have you concocted for my darling sister?"
Her smile faded, as did her amusement, the subject of games and Serena was still a bit too tender. "No game," she whispered, looking away from him.
"No revenge?" He asked, "After what she did…?"
She looked back at him, arched an eyebrow, "And what would you know about it?" She questioned him, proud of herself for keeping her tone even.
No one knew why. A gossip girl blast had delivered the news of the falling out, rhyming it with sentences on secrets and stars; but the words spoken, the reason, no one knew.
Not even Chuck.
"I know it's changed you." He said as seriously as her eyes were watching him.
She looked away again, there were times when being seen wasn't such a wonderful thing. She couldn't tell him, it was bad enough that he saw; if she told him—about the truths you didn't say and new games you could never acknowledge, about the unfairness and the hurt, she made it real. If she told him, she let him see her, and if she did that, he won.
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, Chuck. Better to focus on the future."
"How wise of you, Waldorf." He didn't believe a word of it, "And your future has…?"
"Has plans of introducing Constance-Billard to the concept of a prime minster."
He blinked at her a moment, before that slow smile spread across his face again.
She let herself enjoy it, bask in it a moment, before standing and saying tightly, "So now you know and can take your leave…" She motioned towards the door of her bedroom.
As was his custom, he ignored what didn't suit him. "No plans for a coup..." he stood, coming closer, she steadfastly did not look at him. "Instead," he continued, "Plans to make the monarchy irrelevant."
He titled her chin upwards with his hand, "You are a marvel." He leaned in for a kiss; she turned her face, suddenly tired.
He hadn't come here to learn of her plans or even to have sex with her—though both would have a bonus no doubt.
He had come here for something else and she knew what it was. And she knew that she couldn't have it, couldn't do it. She couldn't take that risk right now, being with Chuck; not after this summer, after Marcus, after Serena… her heart had been broken enough this year.
And being with Chuck, it was a gamble she couldn't take right now; if she lost, she wouldn't survive another broken heart.
"Tell me why you came here." She said to him.
His arms came down to his sides and they just watched each other.
"Let me be your ally, we can--"
She shook her head, that was enough, that was all she needed to end this.
"There is no we, no us. There is me and there is you and there is the things we do in the dark."
She made herself not see his wince. "I cannot be…" she continued, also ignoring the lump rising in her throat, "Diverted."
She had decided this while she and Serena had sipped lattes that afternoon; had decided that she could forgive her sister, but she could not forget. She could not forget how hurt she had been, how unfair Serena had been, but mostly she could not forget how blindsided she had been the by the entire thing. How she hadn't even remotely considered that Serena would turn on her in such a way.
She hadn't been strong enough to let her sister fall; but she had to become strong enough.
Chuck said nothing, he waited for her to continue, and that alone made her eyes burn. She wished she could take a chance on him, she wished she could expend the little faith she had left on them.
"She needs me, she uses me. I'm going to change that. I have to focus on changing that. No one uses me. Do you understand?"
Her words did something, they flicked a switch somehow. Chuck flinched at them, took a step back, away from her as something dark flashed over his face, in his eyes.
And she felt goosebumps rise all over her skin as she watched his face go blank, watched his expression become the mask he wore for the world.
His eyes filled with an odd mix of angry and haunted; and she knew even before he spoke, that he understood all too well.
"I do," he said in a voice too soft.His gaze dropped from hers then, like he was contemplating his next move.
Looking at his face, she knew there was something deeper to those words, something bleak. She swallowed hard, suddenly experiencing a feeling of dizziness, of the entire room spinning and the two of them at the epicenter of it; saying nothing, feeling too much, wanting too much…
She's reaching for his arm before she can stop herself, but he's finally doing as she's asked—he's leaving her bedroom. She wants to say something, to ask about that flash of darkness, about this sudden acquiescence; to ask why he understands, why the goodbye smirk he's shooting her looks so broken.
But he's moving past her and she can't be diverted, so she lets him.
And when he's gone, when she's heard the soft click of the door, then she walks over to her lamp and she shuts it off. And she climbs into bed and she slips her eye mask on. And she pulls the sheets up to her chin and she does not cry.
Author Notes #2: I really do believe that Chuck and Blair belong together… just not yet. :P I also believe that the kind of hurt Serena inflicted on Blair won't be forgotten, ever. And that when the cards are laid out Blair will come through for Serena, every time; but until then, Blair needs to stack her deck with the idea of choice not obligation.
Once again, thank you so much for reading this and commenting. My forays into "Gossip Girl" are very new and I'm enjoying the fandom greatly. :)