Disclaimer - I do not own Kingdom Hearts nor any of its characters.
Warning – Not much except implied Boyxboy relationships and Axels' potty mouth.
AN – This is just a short little one-shot dedicated and written for the amazing, talented and wonderful Poisoned Phantom. She is my rock, support and the only reason that I haven't gone completely crazy in the last months. I'm hoping that you'll get a few laughs out of this one and that it might cheer you up a bit. I adore you PP!!
Now please enjoy…
Action speaks louder…
My name is Axel Fujisaki; I'm a senior at twilight high. I'm tall with awesome red hair and I'm quite sexy and flaming hot if I might say so which I may since this is my story. I have a problem though…I'm in love! I'm in love with this gorgeous golden haired blue eyed slender angel in the class under me. He's the answer to all my dreams and he wants nothing to do with me.
I'm not one to give up though; I'm going to win my Roxas's love. They say that actions speak louder than words so I have a plan and a list, here it is:
Six ways of wooing an angel! (Catchy name for my list don't you think?)
1) I sauntered up to my blondie (yes I can saunter, I'm sexy dammit) and struck up a conversation, it went something like this.
"Yo do you know if that ass is as tight as it looks? If not I wouldn't mind helping you check, I've got just the tool for it.
Yeah…I got myself a very nice black eye for that attempt.
2) Who doesn't like chocolate cookies? I bought some very exclusive and expensive dark chocolate and baked my darling some chocolate chip cookies. Yes you heard me right. Me in a kitchen, baking with a frilly apron…The things you do for love.
So anyway I snuck my cookies into his lunch bag and waited. When lunch time rolled around I placed myself on a seat in the cafeteria where I had a good view of my angel. I saw him take a bite of my cookie without really looking at it and I waited for the cry of ecstasy from his mouth at the amazing taste and him throwing himself at my feet because of my awesome baking skills.
How was I supposed to know that the kid was allergic to chocolate and had to be rushed to the hospital? Not only wasn't I allowed to see him when I went to visit but this shorty threatened me with some very bad things that he was going to do to my manly parts if I didn't stop bothering his cousin. Man that short, skinny brunet can be scary!
3) Serenade him. I got some help from my pal Demyx with this one, I sang and he played his sitar. You guys want to hear my lyrics? … I thought so, here we go:
Foxy Roxy I love you so much,
Foxy Roxy I wanna kiss you and such.
Foxy Roxy you're not just a fling,
Foxy Roxy I want to wear your ring.
Foxy Roxy you're a guy not a chick,
Foxy Roxy still I think you would feel so good around my di...CRASH!!
Demyx still hasn't forgiven me for getting his sitar broken…by Roxas…over my head. Seventeen stitches and a concussion was my reward for that try. My angel is lucky that I like 'em feisty.
4) Attempt number four, the snatch and grab approach. I saw my beautiful golden angel walking out of English class all serious looking and heading towards history class. I saw my chance and grabbed blondie, pushed him up against a locker and planted a big wet one on him.
I can almost speak entirely without a lisp again thank you very much! At least I know that my angel takes very good care of his teeth, they were very strong and sharp when biting into my tongue.
5) Get him drunk. At Riku's last blow out party I managed to spike all of my angel's drinks. I figured some alcohol would get him to loosen up enough to at least dance with me.
Best part of this evening was that Riku was keeping that short brown haired minion of satan occupied by trying to suck his spleen out of his mouth so I knew my manly parts was safe for the moment. This was my best chance.
Yay! I got my angel to dance with me…for almost three seconds before he threw up all over me and Riku's mother's rug.
Who knew that dry cleaning a real hand woven Persian carpet costs almost as much as buying a car? Unfortunately now I do.
6) Drop all pretences beg and crawl.
"Hi Roxas. My name is Axel. I might not be much to the world but I really, really like you and I would like to get to know you better. Would you please have coffee with me and just talk…
My name is Axel Fujisaki. I'm a senior at twilight high and I'm a flaming hot sexy beast (we've been through this already) I'm in love! I'm in love with this gorgeous golden haired blue eyed slender angel in the class under me. He's the answer to all my dreams and the best part…The best part is that he loves me too!
AN – There it was, just a short, silly little snippet of a story. Thank you for reading!