The Anger of Innocence Lost Ch. 10

Disclaimer: I don't own anything recognizable in this story. I am just playing with the Winchesters and will return them to Kripke's sandbox later.


Previously: The last thing he remembered was being stuck inside that cave and seeing his boys coming to his rescue. He shuddered as he remembered a gun going off and watching Sammy fall. "Sammy" he moaned as he fought to bring himself to full awareness. He really needed to know if his son was okay.

John's heart rate began a quick and steady climb as he became fully aware and realized that Sammy was not in the room with him, only Dean. The heart monitor attached to the electrodes on his chest began to give off a shrill beep as his heart rate climbed too high. He glanced around the room in panic. "Sammy, where's Sammy?" he asked with a tremor in his voice. "Tell me where he is Dean, where's my baby boy?"

Dean tried to calm his dad as medical professionals began running into the room alerted by the shrill beeping sound. "Calm down Dad, you've got to calm down, Sammy's alright" Dean said before being pushed out of the way by the doctor.

"Excuse me please" said Doctor Moore as he took John's blood pressure and pulse while listening to his heart. He called for a nurse to bring him a sedative fearing that John could possibly have a stroke or worse if he didn't calm down soon because of his blood pressure being way too high. "Mr. Andrews, you need to calm down or I'm going to have to give you a sedative to calm you down" the doctor informed John with a stern expression.

"Please, just let me talk to my dad" Dean said as he looked at Tony. "I know how to calm him down, he thinks something happened to Sammy."

Tony moved out of the way and stood at the foot of the bed to see if Dean could indeed calm his father down. If not, he was going to have to administer the sedative and soon.

"Dad, look at me" Dean said with a commanding voice. When his dad shifted his attention and focused on him, Dean said "I swear to you Sammy's alright. He wasn't hurt dad. You were the only one hurt. You've gotta calm down or their going to knock you out."

John took deep breaths as he focused on the words that Dean was saying. Sammy was okay, his baby boy wasn't dead. "He's okay?" John questioned a little shakily trying to be one hundred percent positive.

"He's fine dad, you know I wouldn't be standing here if he wasn't" Dean replied. He could see the look of relief cross his dad's face as the heart monitor stopped it's beeping and his dad's heart rate began to return to a more normal level. Dean stood by as the doctor assessed his dad's vitals once again before accepting that he was doing better and leaving the room with a warning to keep him calm.

After the doctor had closed the door, John looked at his eldest and asked "Where is he Dean, where's Sammy? I need to talk to him. I know he was there at the cave, I remember seeing him exorcising the demon just before I passed out."

Dean felt bad for the way he was about to hurt his dad, but he couldn't help it and in a way, it was his dad's own fault. "He's already left, he went to catch a bus back to Stanford a few hours ago."

"What, why?" John asked shocked that his youngest hadn't stayed at least until he had awoken.

"Why do you think Dad, he still thinks you don't give a shit about him. You told him to never come back the last time you two fought and Sammy took those words to heart. Hell Dad, Sammy thinks he's no longer welcome in this family because of your damn attitude when he left. I tried to convince him that you didn't mean it, but he wouldn't listen. Because you are too damn stubborn to make one freaking phone call, Sammy still feels like he's not wanted. You know what he said before he left Dad? He said he couldn't take the chance that you were still pissed with him, his heart wouldn't be able to stand it" Dean informed John with tears in his eyes. He hadn't meant to hit him with it all at once, but once he started talking he couldn't stop. God he missed Sammy so much right now.

John lowered his head in defeat knowing the words that Dean had said were true, he had driven Sammy off with his words and basically told him he was no longer welcome in the family. It hurt him to think that even after all this time, Sammy still believed those words and was hurting because of them. And it wasn't just the last fight that broke Sammy's spirit, the damage had occurred over time as he knocked his son down every time he tried to stand. His baby left to protect what was left of his heart. "I'm sorry" John whispered just barely loud enough for Dean o hear.

"Yeah, well I'm not the one who needs to hear it am I" Dean said wishing that John would make that first move so their fractured family could start building it's foundation again.


As Sam rode the bus back to Stanford, he thought about his life ahead. Maybe his father would welcome him back someday and maybe not, but at least he had his brother's love and that would never change. He also had Jess and he planned to do something about it as soon as he got back to Palo Alto. He knew Jess was the one for him but he had been afraid to get serious with her with his background, but that was about to change. He wasn't ready to pop the question yet, but he felt confident enough with their love to ask her to move in with him. He wanted to rent a small apartment near the campus and spend his days and nights with the woman he loved. He could see himself building a life with her and possibly marrying and having kids some day.

He would be a loving husband and father and raise his kids normally, in the traditional way. His children would be kept away from the hunting life and grow up playing games and going to the same school. He would be home for them every night and watch them play soccer and participate in school plays. His kids would have the life that he never had a chance to know. He knew his dad did the best he could, but he had always felt like he was missing out on something. Maybe he could find out what it was by making that first move with Jessica as soon as he got back. Leaning the seat back on the bus, Sam closed his eyes and faded of to sleep dreaming of the future that he would have with Jess.

He felt like he had just fell asleep when the bus stopped and the driver announced they were back at Palo Alto. Sam climbed off the bus and grabbed his gear as he headed back to his dorm room. On the way however, he stopped at a small apartment that was for rent since his dorm lease would be ending next week anyway. He pulled out some of the money that Dean had given him before he left hoping that he had enough for the required month in advance. After paying the deposit, he started to feel a little nervous wondering if he was making the move too soon. What if Jess didn't want to move in with him? Would she think things were moving too fast? He could only hope and pray that she would be happy with what he had done, if not, he would be living on his own for a little while.

Arriving at his dorm room, Sam packed up his clothing and the few belongings that he owned and moved them to the new place. Luckily, the apartment came furnished so he had the appliances and the furniture he would need for the house. On the way, he picked up a few groceries and a cheap bottle of wine. He was going to prepare an intimate dinner and invite Jessica over as soon as possible. Over dinner, he would ask her to move in with him.

A few days later, Jessica and Sam were in the commons room studying for a test. Jessica was sitting close snuggled up under Sam's arm as she asked him questions to help him prepare so that he could ace the exam. After the study session was over and they were about to go their separate ways for class, Sam asked Jessica to have dinner with him. He told her he would pick her up at five and take her to some place special. Jessica loved the idea of having dinner and accepted right away with a lingering kiss before heading off to class.

Sam was dressed in jeans and a dress shirt and jacket when he picked Jess up at her dorm. He whistled when he saw her walk out in a pastel pink sundress emblazoned with flowers along the bottom. Jess blushed at the welcome as she threw her arms around Sammy's neck. "So where have you decided to take me?" Jess asked coyly as she whispered in Sam's ear.

"It's a surprise" Sam told her as he took her by the hand and led her down the sidewalk. The apartment was only a few blocks away and they could walk there since it was such a beautiful day. As they walked along, they talked about how class was going and Jessica's family since Sam always steered away from that particular topic of conversation when it came to his own family. As Sam led her up to an apartment, Jess looked up at him in surprise. "What are we doing here Baby?" She questioned as she hung on to his arm.

Sam smiled as he pulled out the key and unlocked the door. "I hope you like it, I just rented it today, things were getting kind of crowded at the dorm" Sam replied as he opened up the door to allow Jessica in first.

"Wow, it's beautiful" marveled Jess as she glanced around. The furniture looked comfortable and the place had a sort of homey feel to it. She envied Sam for finally being able to get his own place. As Sam led her into the dining area, her mouth dropped open in shock as she saw the dinner spread laid out on the table with a bottle of wine sitting in a bucket. The roasted chicken looked wonderful and so did the other side dishes. She couldn't believe that Sam had set up such a wonderful dinner for the two of them. As Sam pulled out a chair for her, Jessica sat down and waited for Sam to take a seat. The each fixed a plate and talked about how wonderful the food was.

As Sam popped the lid on the wine, he said "Jess, I've been think about things a lot lately. You know that I love you with all of my heart and I was hoping that maybe…" Sam trailed off as he got a little nervous.

"Maybe what babe?" Jessica questioned with a sparkle in her eye.

"Maybe you would be willing to move in with me" Sam said in a rush from being so nervous. He was almost afraid to look at Jessica to see what her reaction would be. He was pleasantly surprised with the reaction he got.

"Jessica jumped up and threw her arms around Sam's neck. "Do you mean it Sam, do you really want to take that next step?" she asked with sheer happiness in her voice.

"Yes, I really do" Sam said as he hugged and kissed Jessica in return. "You've just made me a happy man"


A few weeks later, Jessica and Sam were in the park as Sam and some of his friends got together for a game of soccer. Jessica and the other girlfriends of some of the players were sitting on a blanket and cheering their men on as they kicked the ball around. They didn't know what their boyfriends saw in the sport, but they sure liked the way they looked in those soccer shorts that they were wearing. "Way to go baby" Jessica shouted as Sam scored a goal for his team. Sam looked over at her with a big smile on his face before returning his attention to the game. The past few weeks had been wonderful for him and he loved the feeling of having a home to go home too with the girl he planned to marry someday.

Across the park, another man was watching the soccer game from afar. He had a huge smile on his face as he watched the tall kid kick the ball in for a goal. 'Way to go son" John said quietly as he watched his youngest participating in the sport. He could tell from the look on Sammy's face that he was happy and it meant the world to him. He knew he should walk over there and apologize to his youngest for all the pain he had caused in his life, but he didn't want to ruin the moment. He would suffer the guilt alone knowing that at least Sammy was happy where he was. He glanced over to the girls who were yelling to see the pretty blonde that he had noticed the other times he had dropped by unnoticed. "You sure got a pretty girl Sammy" he whispered to himself, or so he thought.

"Yeah, she is pretty isn't she dad" Dean said as he crept up behind his father. He smiled at the astonished look on his dad's face at having been caught checking up on Sammy. "So I take it you've been keeping tabs on the kid too" Dean said as he glanced over towards his brother with a huge smile on his face.

"Yeah, well, I just needed to know that he was safe and happy and protected" John replied watching Sam as he walked over to his girl after the game had finished. He and Dean both snickered as they watched Sammy give his girl a long, lingering kiss. The kid was gonna be alright.

THE END Thanks for sticking with me throughout this story and for all the wonderful reviews. I hope you weren't disappointed with the ending.