DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters and I am in no way affiliated with Stephenie Meyer or her work, I am just inspired by it!
I had been anxious about this moment since the day I first realized I was in love with Bella Swan, actually Bella Cullen now. Even thinking that name gave me a warm melting sensation. It hadn't sunken in yet that she was now my wife. The one thing that I thought would never be possible to have, the one thing I wanted more than anything in the world, and loved more than my own existence was now standing beside me in the blue silver light of the moon, the gentle waves playfully lapping at us. The way the moonlight danced over the luscious curves of her body sent fierce flames burring up my throat.
"Control yourself, Edward". This had become my mantra the closer we came to pursuing the physical part of our relationship.
As anxious as I was to be able to finally give myself fully to Bella, I was equally as terrified that I would hurt her if my instincts got the best of me, I could not bear to think of that. I remembered the conversation I had with Carlisle after I had voiced my concerns to him. He said that if I loved her as much as he knew I did, that even in a momentary lapse, my subconscious would react before the situation turned lethal. However, this was not something to rely on. It was still the most dangerous act she could engage in with me and should be handled with the most caution possible.
This did little to pacify my worries. I could not trust myself completely, the vampire instincts within me were much too overwhelming when intense emotion was involved, and the deep passion I had for Bella was the most powerful emotion I had ever known in nearly one hundred years of my existence.
The dichotomy of my two warring passions had completely consumed me, but when I turned to face Bella, I saw the way the light of the moon reflected in her dark eyes and it was utterly breathtaking. At that moment, my passion for her took control and my anxieties faded slightly.
With one swift motion, I scooped her up into my arms, cradling her velvet soft body against the smooth stone of mine. The heat of her body reacted against the chill in mine creating the most exhilarating current of electricity between us. The electric current ignited a fire within me. Not the familiar burning of my throat, but a burn deep within my core. The fire would not be satiated by her blood, but by her body. It was something unlike anything I'd ever experienced before, excitingly brand new to me.
She was the electric shock I could not stop touching. The more of it I felt, the more I wanted, and what I wanted most at that moment was to be inside of her, to be united with her in every way possible.
As I carried her back toward the house, she reached her arms up around my neck, nestling herself closer to me. I leaned my head down to her to take her sweet scent. The second I inhaled the intoxicating aroma, the fire in began to swell. I could feel myself losing focus, losing myself to my strongest desire. I tried to pull myself back before I went under too far, but than I realized that of the two fires burning within me, the one in my throat was not the one in control, so I gave into the new fire and let it pull me under to get lost in the dream that was becoming a reality. Before I let myself go completely I had to ask just one more time;
"You do realize the risk we're taking?"
"Fully." She replied confidently, adding a mischievous smile, one she knew I couldn't resist.
"Love, seriously. You know I want this every bit as you do, I mean, imagine my anticipation after waiting for you for over ninety years, it's overwhelming at times. But I'm scared to death that I might unintentionally do something to hurt you, something that I will regret for the rest eternity."
I choked out the last few words, unable to look her in the eye, trying to keep my composure. I was ashamed that the potential for that to happen was even present, not that it was my fault, but that didn't help any. She gently put her hand on my face, bringing it up to look at her.
"Edward, listen to me," she said as she gently slid her hand down my bare arm and took my hands in hers. "I know you can't help what you are, and I know how hard it is for you to control yourself sometimes. You've warned me of the risks of merely being in your presence from the very first day we spoke. Here we are all this time later and you have never once given me a reason to not trust you. I'm actually here because of you, because you saved my life, not stole it from me, on more than one occasion. I can't even express the joy I feel knowing that you are now my husband, and I your wife, knowing that you will be with me every day for the rest of my life. Even though I'm human and you… …aren't. I feel more connected to you now than ever. I know that you love me despite my flaws and imperfections that go along with being human, Around you I feel like I can be myself, like I am perfect, and more than anything I feel safe. Because of all that I feel more ready than ever to give myself to you - all of my self, no matter the risk. If I can't have all of you too, than what was the point of getting married? It would just be the same as before, and I don't know about you but I want more. I want you, all of you. So consider me warned of all you're capable of. I love you Edward Cullen, and I'm ready for you to show me how much you love me, and a deal's a deal. You promised that once we were married we could try. As far as I know, you are now my husband, and I'm your wife, and I'm pretty sure this marriage still needs to be consummated."
Again, she gave me the smile I melted at the sight of. She was right, we couldn't put it off forever, or even until she became one of us. I told her I wanted her to pursue every human experience she wanted, I didn't want to deny her anything she wanted, and she wanted this as much as I did, how could I deny her that?
"As you wish, Mrs. Cullen, and one more thing, you have no imperfections."
With that my guard completely fell and I let the new fire consume me as my stone cold lips crashed into the silky softness of hers.
I suddenly felt as if I had no control over what was happening, my passion was driving me now. At the same time I also felt reassured by a strange calm that came over me. Bella, in her speech, had mentioned her humanity versus my, well… …my inhumanness, rather my life status as a vampire. We were opposites, that meant there was a balance between us. I realized that as her protector I could not be her predator. To give into my primal urge would not only kill her, but it would kill myself as well. I would not be able to survive without her, as she could not survive without me. Both of us had to be living, or rather, existing in order to keep that delicate balance.
With that realization, I gave in fully to the new fire slowing growing inside of me, knowing that it would be ok because the fire and ice were in perfect sync. Her fire fit perfectly with my ice.
Once I came to that realization, I let go, giving in to the fire consuming me. Even though I didn't have human hormones, this fire inside sure felt like it, but much more intense. Now that I had found my other half, the one person who I had waited the past ninety years for, every part of my being knew that she belonged with me, and I with her. It was only natural that she was the one meant to be my wife, I liked the sound of that.
I suddenly found that my hands were now eagerly exploring previously uncharted territory. It was absolutely thrilling to finally live out this fantasy that we had shared since we first knew we belonged together. I had never been this exposed to her, or she to me, yet it felt familiar to both of us, as if this is what was supposed to happen.
I was so glad we waited until we were here to do this, alone, just the two of us for miles around us. The isolation just made that moment that much more intimate for us, it was definitely worth the wait. The excitement I felt exploring every new inch of her body where my touch had never been felt before was unlike everything I had ever experienced before. I felt as though I would burst through my skin, I had never felt so alive, so human.
I couldn't help myself from running my lips and tongue up and down the entire length of her flawless human body. From the way she relentlessly moved, I could tell that she was just as exited as I was, equally as unable to keep her hands to herself. I could feel her heart racing at a ridiculous irregular pace under her soft skin, her breath coming in erratic gasps moans and squeals. The heat of her blood pulsing through her veins gave me the most intense rush that even my breathing quickened.
In this moment all of my senses became so intensely sensitive and magnified that her slightest touch sent a shock through my body. The burning touch of her velvet skin against the cool marble of mine made me feel as if I was being electrified by her very touch. I was just as eager to feel her electric caress as I was to leave no inch of her flesh devoid of my arctic touch. My entire body soon began to tingle as it reacted to the heat she radiated as the situation escalated.
The physical sensations were the most intense pleasure I had ever felt in my existence, that is until I went inside of her.
I sat up on the bed, and pulled her down on top of me so that she was straddling me. I slowly and gently pulled her down. She clutched me shoulders, bracing herself. As soon as we merged, I let out a low groan, a reflex reaction to her burning heat I was now engulfed in. I was now connected to the electricity that pulsed thorough her body, as closely connected as possible. The current passed from her body to mine and united with the raging fire that burned wildly now inside of me. The connection between the two created the most harmonious hum. It reminded me of the overtones that can be heard when a group of musicians are in perfect pitch with one another. Bella and I were in perfect pitch.
I wanted more of her, I wanted all that I could get. I gently pulled her down. She winced slightly and let out a gasp ending in a painful squeal. I reacted instantly, letting her go. I loosened my grip on her and looked down. I knew what had happened, knowing that it was part of the process, but this is what I was trying so hard not to do. I made me feel as though I did something wrong.
She then did something I did not expect. She again took my face in her hand and brought it up to meet hers. She stared deep into my eyes for a moment, silently telling me she was fine. As I searched the depths of her dark eyes, she seemed to be doing the same to me. It was as if we had found some sort of way to communicate without words. The look in her eyes reassured me, letting me know she wanted to continue.
Then she did something that caught me off guard. She was the one who started pulling me closer, pulling me in deeper forcing me to gasp this time. A wide smile stretched across her face, obviously pleased with my reaction. She quite forcefully put her hands on either side of my face and kissed me deeper than she ever had before. That was all it took for me to completely lose myself in her. Everything around us became vague and blurred. I had never before this moment felt more connected to her. The whole night was so new for both of us even though we experienced it very differently, it was more passionate than either of us had ever experienced anything before. I never wanted this beautiful, perfect moment to end.
The extreme emotion washed over me like a flood that submerged me in a complete haze of ultimate bliss. The fire that had been raging in my core was now fully ablaze, racing throughout my entire body passing through hers and back again, just as her electric current was doing to me. The rocking motion we made while I clutched her as close to me as possible created the most intense pleasure, way beyond anything I could have imagined. My fire churned and raged from within me. I knew that at some point soon there was going to be a violent reaction between this raging fire in me and her now high voltage current.
I could tell she felt the impending reaction too. She had one hand entwined in my hair, her fingers pulling so tight, completely unaware, that the knuckles on her tight fist were turning white. The other rather clammy hand relentlessly clawed at my back, her nails scraping, but causing no damage, against my smooth stone skin,
Her feet I noticed were pulled up, toes curled in as far as they could possibly go, crossed at the ankles around my waist. All the while her squeals and moans had transformed into full blown, ear-piercing screams.
The motion our entwined bodies made rocked faster and faster. My involuntary growls were now coming out a primeval roars. Her loudest scream came out in unison my ear-splitting roar in an unexpected juxtaposition of harmony as my thrashing fire escaped my body and passed into hers. The release cause an explosion of such unexpected power I caught myself lunging for her throat and the initial fire in my throat made its triumphant return. I became aware of it at the last minute and grabbed the closest thing to sink my teeth into which happened to be a down pillow that I tore with such force a shower of feathers exploded in to the air raining down of us.
Bella, completely unaware of how close she came to my instinctual slaughter, was stretched backward in a perfect arc supported by my free hand. I was able to suppress my urge to mortally wound her for the time being and just enjoy the moment of intimacy with her. As I bent over her still supported her arched back in my hands, I took in the scent evaporating from the sweat which now covered her body. It was more potent now than ever, but strangely the fire in my throat was still calm enough to leave it in the back of my mind. Her breath was still quick and ragged, her bare chest, glistening with droplets of sweat, rose up and down unevenly as she unsuccessfully tried to catch her breath as her body trembled from the aftershock.
It was through watching her that I realized I was trying just as hard to catch my breath, a first for me. No doubt a reaction to the intense release of my fire which had now been reduced to smoldering ambers inside.
I pulled Bella up at last, and cradled her as close to me as possible. She once again felt as fragile as glass in my iron grip. I began slowly awakening from my blissful haze as she peacefully drifted into a deep slumber.
I don't know how long I laid there cradling her, pulling he closer. Her breathing gradually slowed as did mine, as the high slowly wore off. I could've held her there like that all night while she slept . The only reason I parted with her because she began to tremble slightly. I figured she might be cold from being so close to my icy body.
I gently pulled her away to lay her down. That's when I saw it. Her whole body was covered in fresh deep purple bruises that were not there before we came inside. I immediately realized where they had come from, though I had no recollection of putting them there. Apparently I had been holding her much tighter than I thought I was. I refused to believe that I could ever hurt someone I loved more than anything in the world.
I was suddenly overcome with a new wave of emotions. Fear of how she would react, fear that she would be in pain in the morning, shame that I was the one that caused it doing the one thing I has tried so hard not to do, embarrassed that I lost the control I thought I had a handle on.
All the new emotions were pushing quickly out the absolute bliss I had felt only moments ago. I couldn't bear to look at what I had done any longer. I gently pulled the covers up to her neck, kissed her forehead ever so gently while brushing her hair back. I sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, my head down, hands slowly brushing through my hair, trying to collect myself before sliding into a pair of shorts that were on the floor, grabbing the phone and walking out onto the beach.