(Authors Note: I'm not going to say sorry or give excuses. I have had a mixture of writers block and just being busy. I'm also simply getting slightly bored with my stories which is the main reason for my writers block. I know how annoying it is to have no new chapter for months on a story you've invested time in reading, but I am trying.
On a lighter note, I just started, and got to the last book so far, a new series that I am really enjoying. I love when I run out of books, get desperate, and find a gem. The Mercy Thompson series is actually very entertaining. If you haven't read it, you should. I also read, Cassandra Clares newest spin off series, Clockwork Angel. Those two were the light in my dark tunnel of no reading material. I've been reading dud after dud and man am I going through them. Any suggestions?
Alright, I know I don't necessarily deserve it but I need reviews to let me know there are still people reading because I'm starting to think about just cutting these stories off. All the motivation really does make me want to keep writing. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!)
Disclaimer: Not my characters.
Isadora got sick, and was lying in the hospital when Edward called Bella. Bella rushed to them, just to be broken up with by a distraught and misguided Edward. Last chapter, Bella felt the pang of not only losing her love, Edward, but losing what she was quickly considering her stepdaughter in the break up. Emmett, unbeknownst to Edward, took a fully recovered Isadora to Bella's work to visit after the little girl kept asking after her. They went to lunch; Emmett, Isadora, Bella, and Jasper. Edward called, Bella spoke to him and she didn't just swoon. The break up is still on!
Maybe I was a little harsh with Edward the other day, but my feelings, and the feelings of his daughter aren't things to be taken advantage of. Forgiveness can't just be given, at least not by me. Just because Edward says he's sorry doesn't mean I'm going to melt and run back to him, if that's what he wants at all.
The reality was, I had no idea what it was that Edward wanted when he said he wanted to talk. I didn't know if it was to talk about staying friendly so Isadora and I could see each other without it being to awkward, or if he wanted to get back together but I wasn't going to be the one to ask.
Edward left me. He left me in a way that hurt way more then it had to and I was not going to be the one to grovel to get back with him. He made the mess, now he had to clean it up, if that's even what he wanted.
My trust in him was diminished to a point that I wasn't sure I could trust him not to leave me again. What if Isadora got sick again, or hurt! I didn't want to be the person that was automatically blamed for anything negative happening in his life. I didn't want my presence in his life to be the cause of everything. I couldn't handle it emotionally if I were to be blamed for ever negative thing that happened to Isadora. I refused to be his punching bag.
His efforts weren't going unnoticed though. I didn't just toss the obviously expensive flowers that he sent to my office. Jasper tried to. I told him they made my office look nice. They brought color and cheerfulness into it. He didn't quite believe me, but it was true. I may not be sure if I was willing to let Edward worm his way back into my life, but I would let him try while I thought about it.
"Wow." Alice's small frame stood in the doorway to my office. "Those are certainly fancy."
Her heals clicked lightly on the floors as she walked over to my desk to take a closer look at the flowers. "A little ostentatious, huh?"
She breathed in the aroma of the flowers, and leaned back with a contented smile. "I was thinking it was a nice gesture, but whatever you say." She smiled sweetly at me and sat in the chair across from me. "Was there a note with it?"
I didn't look at her as I grabbed the small paper from my top drawer and flung it to the opposite side of the desk then stared back at my computer screen pretending there was something highly important there. There wasn't anything important there, unless you find Tetris a riveting experience.
"Wow." She repeated after a few seconds of reading. "I think he misses you."
"I'm not so sure about that." I said without looking at her. It was a nice thought, but I didn't want to let myself believe it.
"No?" She asked with a cocked eyebrow. I shook my head. "Well maybe you should get some glasses and reread this little note." She smirked and placed the note back on the desk pointing at one line from the note. "Here's my evidence that he misses you, where's you evidence he doesn't?" I shrugged before pointing to my head.
"Up here." I said in accordance to the gesture. "I have to protect myself. I wasn't careful enough before. I learn from my experiences."
"He call yet?" I pursed my lips and shook my head again. She didn't look worried. "He'll call." She said confidently.
"I'm not even sure I want him to." I admitted.
"Is that why you're keeping that note in the top drawer of your desk?"
I could probably throw it away at this point, honestly. I practically had the damn thing memorized. It wasn't a lot to memorize, but I still kept reading it over and over.
I'm sorry, for everything. I miss you.
Alice just stared at me and I snatched up the aforementioned note and shoved it right back into my desk, earning me yet another smirk from the cocky pixy sitting across from me. So I wanted to keep the note? It was a nice note.
"So, lunch?" I asked finally willing myself to meet her gaze. I loved Alice. She was probably the best friend you could get, but she was too good at reading your emotions. My face was an open book right now, and I didn't want her to read the pages. "Are we picking up or going to a sit down?"
"Both. I called in our order at a new deli a block away that they will have ready for us in about ten minutes. So we will go pick it up then go sit down at the park to eat. Clever me."
"Will Jasper be joining us?" I asked reaching for my purse. "He tried to throw away my flowers you know?"
"Yes, he will be joining us, and of course I knew he would try to throw away your flowers. He is about ready to start an 'I hate Edward' club. I'm working on it though." I shrugged and grabbed the flowers on the way out of my office. "What are you doing with those? You aren't throwing them away are you? I'll take them off your hands. There's no need to be rash about this. Jasper won't be that angry. He's angry at Edward, not the flowers."
"Absolutely not. They are gorgeous and from the looks of it, expensive." I said closing the office door behind Alice and locking it. She waited for me, while tapping her toe, waiting for more of an explanation.
"Well you can't hall those things to lunch with us." She finally said when I strode past her.
I rolled my eyes and walked up to Jasper and my secretary. "Hey Katie. Would you like some flowers?"
She stared at the huge bouquet with aw, the same look she used earlier when she walked the flower delivery guy back to my office. "But those are your's, Ms. Swan."
"I just don't have the room for them." I lied, remembering the area on my desk that would be perfect for these flowers to sit. "Here, take them."
I handed them to her, and she grabbed them with both hands, holding onto them like they were precious. It was probably a two hundred dollar plus bouquet. Absolutely too much to spend on flowers but the money was obvious in the quality.
"I'll just keep them here. They'll add a nice touch of color to the desk." She said with a smile. I nodded and smiled back. As long as they weren't in my office, and didn't get thrown away I would be happy.
Jasper made his appearance right as Katie was placing the large bouquet on the desk, placing it in a place of honor where everyone would be able to see them. His eyebrows pinched together as he glared at the flowers and I had to hold back a laugh.
"Calm down, Jasper." I said digging through my purse. "They aren't in my office anymore. This is a step in the right direction."
"The right direction would be in the trash." He contered.
"Bite your tongue Jasper Hale." Alice scolded. "Those flowers are beautiful and can't be blamed and/or punished for their senders actions. Edward messed up, they flowers are just trying to make it right."
Jasper sighed and rolled his eyes knowing that fighting Alice on this would be a losing battle. She would probably be hinting for flowers similar to these for the next few months, or as long as it took Jasper to catch on and give in. I smiled at there exchange flinching only slightly when that traitorous pang rang through my heart reminding me I don't have that anymore. Jasper and Alice were great together, and I was so incredibly happy they were working out. It was amazing having my two best friends being in love, but seeing any couple hurt to a certain extent still. I wanted that, I wanted that kind of love and trust with someone. Edward took that away. I wanted to hate him for that, but I simply couldn't make myself hate him. Trust me, I've tried.
Lunch was great, if you like sitting back and listening to two girls talking about a guy that broke one of their hearts. I get it. Edward is Mr. Dreamboat. The beautiful client that waltzed in and stole Bella's heart. He's the man that brought her back into the dating game, made her fall in love in record time then broke her heart without even blinking.
It just seemed cut and dry to me.
Alice has all these romantic ideas about everything. Edward will come back with some grand gesture, swoop Bella right back off her feet and everything will be perfect again, but it just isn't realistic. Bella was hurt, and no grand gesture should make her forget that. Edward pulled the rug out from under her, all the while blaming her for his daughters sickness, a daughter that Bella cared fiercely about. He obviously isn't as good a guy as everyone thought.
I couldn't understand the need to be back with someone who could do that to you. It's like when someone cheats on you. You get back with them, they just think that you'll keep forgiving them for things that in most cases are unforgivable, or at least makes you not trust them.
It was hard to watch as your best friend is crying herself to sleep, racked with guilt for something that she had no control over and she was made to feel this way by someone who claims to love her.
I know that in the end it is Bella's decision what she does or doesn't do about Edward. All I'm saying is that I can't just forgive Edward when he made someone who is like a sister to me cry in my arms for an entire night. I just can't.
I sighed and grabbed my new briefcase(thank you very much Alice) and stuffed some papers inside it. Homework. And I thought I was finished with homework when I finished college. Fat chance. I got to go home and pretend to pay attention to my work while Alice flitted around my apartment in a barely there nightie. The women just didn't understand the effect she had on me.
I walked out of my office, staring down the hall to see Bella's office door closed. She must still be with a client. It was still early. I sighed and walked into the lobby, ready to wait so I could walk Bella to her car. Alice never cared if I was a little late due to me waiting to walk Bella to her car. She is more paranoid then I am about it.
"I'm sorry she is with a client right now, may I take a message?" Katie, our secretary said into the phone, staring me in the eyes. She waited, listening, then said. "Alright, may I ask who is calling, please." She earned her money working here. She sounded polite and professional. "Alright Mr. Masen."
I looked over at her quickly, and she gave me a look that said she knew something was up with Bella and Mr. Masen and that she wanted me to know he was on the phone.
She deserved a raise.
I held my hand out and she stared at it a little shocked. "Um, Mr. Masen. I have Mr. Whitlock here." And she handed the phone over before he could answer.
"Edward." I said briskly into the phone.
I heard a sigh on the other end of the phone, a pause and finally, "Hey Jasper. How are you doing?"
"A hell of a lot better then Bella." I said unhappily. I let my anger with him be heard, and Katie, the secretary looked nervous and slightly entertained. I have thought about what I might say to Edward next time I saw him. Sadly, over the phone left punching him an unlikely option. "What is it you want, Edward?"
"I was just hoping to speak with Bella." Edward said, sounding pathetic. I didn't buy it. He deserved all the pain he was experiencing. He treated Bella like shit and I would be damned if I let him weasel his way back into his life. He had some nerve calling here. Calling her at work where she can't yell like she has every right to is cowardly. "Listen, Jasper, I'm sorry. I know she's your friend, and you feel protective of her but you have to believe I didn't mean to hurt her. I have been regretting the whole thing ever since that night in the hospital."
"Then maybe you should have thought it through a little more before you dragged Bella under the bus. Before you blamed her for your daughter being sick, and before you broke it off with her after she got you in to see your daughter after you had been trying for hours."
He sighed again, sounded defeated. "I was stupid. I know that, but my mind was running at a hundred miles an hour and I was terrified. My daughter was in the hospital. I didn't mean to blame Bella. I never blamed her. I blamed myself. I still blame myself but I am no good to my daughter with things so strained between Bella and myself." I stayed quiet a few seconds, processing how much he was actually speaking to me. Edward took this as a good sign and continued with more gusto. "Bella loves you and Alice more then anybody. Your both her best friends. Your opinions mean a lot. I know that winning Bella back means winning both you and Alice over and convincing you both that I didn't mean to do what I did. I didn't mean to hurt Bella, and I certainly didn't mean to imply that it was in anyway her fault that my daughter was sick. I love Bella. I want her in my life, forever if possible. But in order to do that, I need you to forgive me too."
I ground my teeth together containing my voice to a reasonable volume and tone. No need to let Bella hear our conversation. That would be a painful discovery. Damn him! Sounding all reasonable and playing to my softer side. "You're gonna have to do a lot more then just send flowers, Edward."
"Edward?" Bella's voice asked, surprising me. She stalked up to me, her client already out the door, and held her hand out to the phone. "Did he call for you?" She asked, her hand pulling away uncertainly. I shook my head and Edward breathed out "Bella" on the other end of the phone. He had heard her talking. Son of a bitch… "Then why are you speaking with him?"
"You were with a client." I said defiantly. She narrowed her eyes and thrust her hand back at me urging me to hand to phone over. "Fine." I said, handing the phone over. She glared, smacked my arm, took a deep breath and put the phone to her ear.
"Mr. Masen, what can I help you with today." I smiled at that while Bella stared up at me, glare still in place. I could hear Edward on the other end of the phone telling her to please not call him Mr. Masen, then it began to just sound mumbled. My arm still stung but it would be worth it if she would make him squirm a little. "Mr. Masen, our current relationship makes what your saying highly inappropriate and I have to ask you to stop. I am your lawyer, not your lover and I would expect you to treat me as such. Now, if you have nothing business related to speak with me about, you'll have to excuse me. I have a dinner date." She handed the phone back to Katie, who held it with wide eyes and a confused look on her face as though she didn't know what to do with it. I bit back a laugh, and gestured for her to hang it up while Bella shoved her purse back up around her shoulders and started walking towards the door.
"Wait up." I called and ran after her. She flipped me off, still mad about my interception of the phone. I caught up to her and gave her a half hug. I leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Do you really have a dinner date?"
She shook her head before her body shook and the first tear fell. She cried, silently, as we walked to our cars, and I held my arm around her the whole way. She didn't say anything, and neither did I. She could talk if she wanted to, or not talk if she didn't. She was tough, and even with the tears, I was proud of her.
I stared at the phone and the dial tone blared obnoxiously through the receiver. I hoped and prayed I could fix this so much that I actually believed I could but from the sounds of it, I was sadly mistaken. Bella was too strong of a women to be overcome by flowers and phone call. I needed to do something but first I need to get through to Jasper and Alice. Jasper listened to me over the phone, I hoped that was a good sign.
I straightened my shoulders and turned the phone off, putting it back onto the receiver. Jasper would be a hard sell, but he wasn't an unreasonable man. He was Bella's best friend and that alone told me he was a good guy. Bella wouldn't be friends with anyone less then that. I had to try.
Isadora came running into the room, wearing nothing but her hooded towel with a small fabric crown on top. Rose came running up behind her and swept her up in a quick, practiced movement that came from years of care. Isadora giggled happily and smiled at me.
"Daddy, daddy!" She said as Rose put her back on the ground and started helping her dry off from her bath. "I'm squeaky clean and smell like stwabewwies!"
"And you wet the whole floor." I said motioning towards the hall she just ran down. "So now it's clean as well."
She giggled again and I smiled. "Is Bewwa coming ova?" I sighed and shook my head.
"Not tonight, honey." Bella had to come back. We both needed her. "Hopefully soon, though."