More NejiTenness from me peeps! So, this one shot is dedicated to .Poisoned Scarlet. because she is uberly awesome and needs some nejitenness! (Hint: Read and review her stories.)
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, then Neji and Tenten would've had about ten babies by now.
Warning: Neji's sexual orientation will be questioned.
'UZUMAKI NARUTO! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE! HOW DARE YOU VIOLATE HINATA-SAMA!'
WOOSH. CRASH. BAM. KABOOM.
'NEJI-NII! STOP IT! NARUTO-KUN!'
'GODDAMMIT NEJI WE'VE BEEN GOING OUT FOR A YEAR!'
'...' Tenten blinked, as Neji caught Naruto throwing innuendos at a flushing Hinata. Again.
Tenten began to ponder (which I might add is not necessarily a good thing when it comes to Hyuuga Neji).
Ne... ya know Neji's never actually shown interest in any species of the opposite sex before... (Well you all know where this conversation is headed now don't you)
Well... there was that cat from that prostitute's mission...
Oh yeah. . that was filarious! The prostitute thought he was interested in her!
Oh! And that squirrel we found at the training grounds!
Squirrel...hm.. oh right! I remember that one, it ended up pounding Lee into a pulp. That doesn't count, he only liked it cause it hurt Lee.
Okay. Then no.
I thought so. And I was thinking humans ya know?
Well... who is he overprotective of?
Hm...I don't know...wait..HINATA!
I never thought Neji was into incest.
Neither. I thought he would end up gay. You know all that long shiny hair that GIRLS would die for.
Neji stopped midway in pounding Naruto to death much to Hinata's obvious delight (taking this opportunity like a true kunoichi should, she snatched her soon-to-be-fiance, as he was still rehearsing his proposal, from his death grip).
Neji turned back to glare super-sharpened-dipped-in-poison-that-will-kill-on-contact-daggers at the about-to-wet-his-pants-Naruto.
'You know you shouldn't be ashamed of being incest.'
And that was how hell froze over.
Naruto stared at Neji as if he had just admitted incest (which Tenten was aiming at).
Hinata was stuttering so much you couldn't even tell what words she was meant to say.
Neji stared at Tenten in disbelief.
'Tenten what makes you think I am ... incest?'
'Don't worry Neji. I'm sure you can find someone with similar personality or looks to Hinata-chan.'
'I am not in love with Hinata-sama.'
'Denial is the first stage Neji.'
'...! –feral growl- '
'Tenten would you like me to prove I am not incest?'
'..ha! I KNEW IT! NEJI'S GAY!'
And then...hell unfroze.
DUN DUN DUN.
'O-oh my ramen god! NEJI'S VIOLATING TENTEN! HINATA-CHAN DOES THAT MEAN I'M MEANT TO KILL HIM!'
'O-oh my. Neji-nii...'
Eight years later...
'So...okaasan and otousan got together because kaasan accused tousan of being incest...?'
'Ne ne kaasan, tousan do you think Haru will confess his undying love to me if I accuse him of being incest?'
Tenten snickered. Said children (yes childREN) snickered.
'Children, if you hear any screaming from our bedroom tonight, ignore it. It's your okaasan's punishment.'
Their children stared wide eyed at their (perverted) father. Obviously Neji hasn't noticed that his children know the definition of 'sex'. And obviously Neji hasn't given them 'the talk' either. Oh dear.
Tenten looked from Neji to her children and repeatedly did so.
AWKWARD SILENCE. . .
And what do you know? Neji, yes NEJI, broke said awkward silence. How? By flinging his wife over his shoulder and disappearing to the master's bedroom. Well, expect the unexpected from the unexpected. (Wait. Does that make sense?)
'Sister, I bet you twenty bucks the kid's gonna be a guy.'
The kid they were referring to is the new baby just in case it wasn't clear enough. Well, that was it. 8D Hope it cheered you up .Poisoned Scarlet.! And the ending was not the best, I know. I had some trouble with the ending and had to settle for this one.
And you know the deal, THE PURPLE BUTTON DOWN THERE. (would feel more loved if you clicked it and will send you all a basket of nejitenness)
Eat. Sleep. Smile. With added NejiTen.