Funny song this. It's by Lano and Woodley, who aren't performing together any more, but they where awesome. You can download their album Lano and Woodley Sing Songs from itunes.

Disclaimer: I am an alien!

That's funny, so is E.T. another thing E.T and the disclaimer own is that they both don't own avatar! And neither do I.



"I got a job working as a contortionist,
I had to squash myself into a tiny box,

"So how did it feel living in an Ice berg for one hundred years?" asked Sokka to Aang.

"It feels just like being asleep, Sokka." Replied Aang, without looking up from his book.

"Wouldn't it be, y'know, cold?"

Aang shut his book and turned slowly to Sokka. "I don't know, I was asleep!"

"Oh. But when people fall asleep in the snow they feel cold!" Sokka stated.

"Well people don't fall asleep in a block of ice and have the Avatar spirit channelled through them."

"So the Avatar spirit has built in heating?"

"..." Aang stared at him blankly. "No, Sokka. The Avatar spirit did not have in built heating."

"Aww. Well, how did you eat? And go to the toilet?"

"I didn't, Sokka."

"I gave it up after a week because, well,
I just couldn't get into it."

"Wouldn't you have gotten hungry?"

"Do you get hungry when you're asleep?" he countered.


Aang looked around the small hut he was sharing with Katara and found his parka. Wiggling into it, he returned to Sokka next to the small coffee table.

"You cold?" asked Sokka.

"Well I'm not in the Avatar state, so I must be." He said flatly.

"Uh huh. So Aang, you must have been pretty brave to freeze yourself in a block of ice."

"When a guy thinks a girl is tough,
He says she's got balls,"

"I didn't do it on purpose!"

"Oh. I thought you did."

"Didn't anyone tell you the story?"

"Not directly. I only heard it from third person." He said.

"Really? Oh, well, I ran away from the Airtemple because they were going to send me away from Gyatso-"

"Wait a second, your saying because they were going to take you away from your mentor, you ran away from the Airtemple, and your mentor?"

"Yes, Sokka. I thought I could just come back later and everyone would forget about it."

"Oh, yeah. Everyone would just forget about the Avatar's training. "

"Do you want to know the story or not?" Aang was getting frustrated.

"Fine, fine. I'll be quiet." He sighed.

"Good. So anyway, while I was flying with Appa, a huge storm hit, and we were forced under water. We couldn't get back up, so the Avatar spirit took over, and I unintentionally forced a bubble of ice around us."

"And the next thing you know, you're waking up to the angry face of my sister."

"No, the next thing I know, I'm waking up to the angelic face of my girlfriend." Aang smiled.


"But when a girl thinks a guy is tough does she say,
He's got, labia minora!"

"So Aang,what about all the friends you had all over the world? How come you where able to travel by yourself?"

"Well, it helped that I already had my Airbending tattoos, which signifies a master, and the war wasn't going on then. It's not like anyone is going to randomly come up and hurt a small kid."

"Fair enough."

"As to the friends I made, there were big ones, small ones, ugly ones, and pretty ones. Non as beautiful as Katara, though. They were all great people, and didn't judge each other by the colours they wore. Sometimes I even played a game with Kuzon and a few other friends where we swapped nations and pretended to be different kinds of benders."

"So how come others still aren't alive today, like Bumi?"

"I guess it's because Bumi is such a powerful bender. His chi levels are higher, so he lives longer."

"What? Does that mean Non-Benders don't live for as long as Benders?" Sokka queried.

"I want to tell you, I just can't help but think you are,
As pretty as a picture,"

"Not at all. Non-Benders have Chi as well. Think of that Guru I went to speak with, Pathik. He's like one hundred and eighty, and still looking as pretty as a picture! Well, not quite, but he's still healthy."

"Yeah, I guess. So what about your obsession with riding animals?"

"Have you ever ridden an elephant Koi? Or jumped on a Hog-monkey when it least expects it?" Aang said with a gleam in his eye.

"...No... But! I have spent a whole day stuck in a hole talking to a baby moose lion!"

"Uh huh. So I wouldn't be able to explain it to you."

"Oh. Well I didn't really want to know anyway." Sokka waved his hand.

"Right Sokka. Now if you'll excuse me I'd like to go and find Katara." Aang started heading for the door.

"Oh, well I was just going to go and find... a person to talk to so I don't look stupid!"

"Uh huh. Talk to you later, Sokka."

As Aang walked out, Sokka mumbled, "Why would you want to ride one of those ugly Hog-Monkey's anyway..."

"But unfortunately the picture,
Is a picture,
Of a baboons bottom!!"