Author's Note: Sorry it's been so long! Real Life is crazy! Why do we even have those things? Thanks to Raven Sky Costello for inspiration, food, and the occasional bash around the head to get a move on! Love you loads!


Harry

Tell me who your boyfriend is!

Pleeeeaasee?

Sirius

xxx

Harry

Pretty please?

Sirius

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Harry

Pretty, pretty please?

Sirius

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Harry

Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top?

Sirius

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Harry

Pretty, pretty please with multiple cherries and hundreds and thousands?

Sirius

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Harry

Is your silence your way of telling me that you don't like hundreds and thousands?

How is that even humanly possible?

Sirius

xxx

Hermione

I am very worried about Harry.

He is not answering my letters and he doesn't like hundreds and thousands!

Sirius

xxx

Sirius

Hundreds and thousands? What have they got to do with anything?

And by the way, you are taboo with Harry at the moment. The mere mention of your name and it's like suddenly you're talking to a brick wall.

Hermione

(P.S. Of course Harry likes hundreds and thousands. Who doesn't like hundreds and thousands?)

xxx

Harry

If you don't answer me, I shall send you a howler. That howler will then proceed to tell everyone in the hall that you have a boyfriend. Along with every single embarrassing thing that you ever did as a baby.

I have baby pictures.

Sirius

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Sirius

Sod off.

That enough answer for you?

Harry

(P.S. Baby pictures was below the belt)

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Harry

Don't be like that!

I just want to know one teeny tiny thing! What difference will it make if I know who you're dating? I probably won't know him anyway!

Sirius

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Sirius

I refuse to talk to you any more on the subject!

By the way, I'm pretty sure that our new Defence Professor is the creature from the Black Lagoon.

Harry

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Harry

Why? And why are you telling me this?

Sirius

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Sirius

It's the Black Lagoon. I figured the stories have to start somewhere, right? I thought maybe it was something to do with a property your family owned.

Harry

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Harry

Interesting...

I will get back to you...

Sirius

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Harry

Why is Sirius taking such an interest in his family history? Have you said something to him again? These things never end well. Remember last time? I still blame you for that.

Remus

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Remus

I took Hermione's advice for once and distracted Sirius with a change the subject so that he would get off my back.

And I cannot see why you think that was my fault! Sirius set himself on fire!

Harry

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Harry

You gave him the lighter!

Remus

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Remus

It was his own stupid fault! I mean, who uses a lighter in a room you've just had a farting competition in?

Harry

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Harry

A pureblood who doesn't know what a lighter does!

Hence, the reason I blame you!

Remus

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Remus

Hey Remus, I think the new Defence Professor may be a Vampire, but I can't remember how to properly recognise one. Which textbook do I need?

Harry

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Harry

I'm sure I have it somewhere around here...

I'll get it sent to you when I find it...

Remus

xxx