I hid my face into my raincoat. Jacob was staring at me as if I'd just become more than a friend. I'd grown up with him my whole life, and he had always been my one and only best friend, I looked towards him when I needed a helping hand with my school work, or even someone to talk to instead of mum or dad. He'd told me one day something would change our relationship, he would change it. An I'd never really understood him, but at my age now I do. He looked at me like other boy's did, and it was even more pressuring then usual.
His smitten look daggered into me. I loved him in a way I wasn't sure of, as much as I wanted to look away I knew I couldn't. Something brought me back each time my gaze wandered over to the shore. I was more than attracted to this boy and it was clear. Maybe this was why my mother had never been bothered when I had boyfriends, or when I told her I'd found the 'one'. How rude.
I was sat on the beach in a raincoat, on the dullest day of the year smiling at the boy that was reading a book to me. He'd decided we would read Oliver Twist, because it was his favourite book. I hated it, but I pretended I liked it because it kept him happy and gave me time to think.
"Don't stare at me so hard Renesmee it puts me off reading." Jacob grinned. I put my chin up, and ran my fingers through my hair and returned to staring out at the beach, and catching Jacob in the corner of my eye. My feelings were obviously unaware to him, but maybe he did know something.
"Jacob." I said, pushing my feet into the sand.
"Yes Nessie, come on I really want to finish this before we get home!" Jacobs grin still hadn't dropped but his perky attitude had. I could tell his mood had changed.
"Forget it. Carry on reading." Everyone said I wasn't like my mother, and this was exactly why. I never had the willpower to hurt someone, or ask them something without thinking of the consequences as my mother had been. I was more shy than people gave me credit for, I fitted in only with my family. And Jacob of course, but there was a different connection there, a more homely one whereas with my family it was because I'd known them since I was born I loved them, but with Jacob it was like I'd have chosen to know him even if I hadn't been brought up around him. He was the exact other half of me, and I didn't like it.
"No. Tell me Nessie. Now." Jacobs demanding voice scared me, lately he used it a lot more. Because he was a werewolf I was told not to test his anger, and the thought of him turning into a wolf scared me even more. I always told him to keep his wolf side out of my eyesight, he tried his best.
"Its just, why am I so attracted to you?" I got a chuckle out of him, so I knew his anger was gone. He had finally dropped the book onto the beach, loosing his page – thank god. An he returned to my eyes, he was a beautiful boy as much as I tried to restrain from believing it. He could be prettier then me, his tanned skin and in perfect shape hair and muscles. How could I not be attracted? Then there was me, I was beautiful as well but even if I tried I couldn't live up to this boy.
"Nessie, I've told you about this before!" Jacob said, his forehead creased up and I could only wonder what was on his mind. Oh yeah, the imprint. Silly me. "Nessie, my love isn't something I can deny. Of course I have plans to marry you, and continue our life together. But its days like these I have to forget my attraction for you, to just try and lead a normal life around you." his face down, his fingers were playing with the sand, swirling it around.
"Don't you ever get mad or frustrated at the thought it's me your going to be with." I was interested in what his answer would be, sometimes I got mad. Why shouldn't he?
"No. I only get frustrated when I can't be with you, or express my love for you until I know it's time. Sometimes I feel like it will be forever until your love will be as strong as mine is for you. My patience has it's limits." Jacobs fingers went from the sand to my legs, he stroked them gently as I felt the prickles of the sand that had still been left on his finger tips.
My cropped jeans and raincoat made me look a bit messy, I wasn't in the mood for going out today but I hadn't seen Jacob in weeks because of my school hold ups and it seemed like today fitted perfectly in his schedule.
"How do you know my love is nothing compared to yours? You can't say that! You cannot read my mind Jacob Black!" I liked to over exaggerate thing's.
"I know because nothing can compare to my love. I have loved like this once before, and I hope day by day I will not lose you like I did the other. I hope you will not deceive, or fight our love. I try to fight it so you can be a teenager a normal one. Then I realise your not her, your you and you are not normal, your half a vampire. I think about you every single minute I am awake. I can't keep my mind of you, and it's not like I could if I tried. I read this book, but I only see what your doing, wonder what your thinking. Yes the words come out of my mouth but I don't think them over in my head, I only can think of you. Do you feel that?" My shock showed in my face, and my legs came up to my chest. It gave me a heartache to think that I could not feel that for this boy, and I would never. I knew this time he would always love me more than I did him. I could have died.
"Didn't think so." Jacob said, he picked up the book again, and I felt a relief. I was glad he didn't expect me to feel like that just yet. I'd only just realised an attraction. How long would he have to wait?
"Jacob," I held his arm. His muscled arm. "I'm so sorry, I can't believe you feel like that I wish, I wish you didn't have too." I could only comfort, words were tripping out my mouth. I didn't mean to make it sound like it did, but I was sorry.
"Renesmee, you can't be sorry. I like it." Jacob smiled. I felt soft tears fall down my face like a waterfall. I was upset because he was so happy about this way of feeling. I leaned back and my head fell into the sand, I felt the rocks mesh into my hair.
Jacob began to read once more, and my thoughts drifted.