Hey guys. I wanted to apologise for taking too long with this chapter. I had finals and then a big work project and just didn't have the energy. Plus this chapter was… difficult, to say the least. I'm not sure how you guys will receive it, but I wanted to write something a tiny bit more adult. You have been warned; there are difficult themes in this one, and not the fun kind. Well, you let me know what you think of it.
Chapter 24. Fears.
"Mmm, you smell so good." Raven smiled down at the man snuggling against her chest as her fingers played with his hair. He wore his usual wide grin, his fangs sticking out over his upper lip as he rubbed his face against her.
"You say that every day." She pointed out, giving away that the compliment had lost all point, but he moved his head against her and she felt his lips against her move as he replied back.
"It's true every day." His voice was muffled, but she could hear the mirth, "It drives me crazy." She almost chuckled but, instead, she kept smiling turning her eyes up at the roof.
"A lot of things drive you crazy." He moved to peer at her through his hair, wearing a naughty grin.
"Only when it involves you." She returned her eyes to him, raising an eyebrow.
"So losing in your video games to Cyborg doesn't make you crazy?" He shrugged,
"That's a different kind of crazy." She rolled her eyes.
"And when I eat meat and then you kiss me?" He shuddered at the memory. That had happened far too many times.
"That still involves you." He replied childishly, not wanting to let her win the silly argument.
"And Robin throwing away your homemade tofu."
"Hey!" He replied indignantly, raising his head to glare at her playfully, "I would've saved so much money with that!" Even with her stoic expression, he could tell she was amused.
"It stunk the entire building." He grinned,
"That was the smell of success!" And she couldn't hold back the chuckle this time, making his grin widen.
"It was a disaster." She said with a smirk, and he shrugged again, leaning his head back to its original place.
"Star liked it." She sighed at the memory.
"Yes, and then Robin kissed HER." She shook her head when his shoulders started to move as he tried to stifle his laughter at the memory, though she was smiling at the memory too. "Poor guy almost threw up."
"Well, now you know what I feel when you eat meat and then kiss you." She rolled her eyes.
"It's not the same thing." He frowned up at her.
"It sure is!"
"No," she replied with a smirk of her own, "Meat tastes good." He shuddered, before raising an eyebrow.
"That sounded sort of sexual." He grinned at her and wiggled his eyebrows as she rolled her eyes.
"To you everything sounds sexual." And he leaned up to kiss her quickly.
"Only when it comes from your lips."
"Right…" She replied as she didn't know what else to say, relaxing back onto the pillows and Garfield returned to his previous position, sighing in bliss against her skin.
The two had woken up far earlier than normal. Another nightmare from Raven forced them both to stay up, particularly when they had less than an hour left to sleep. Instead, Garfield took their usual resting position and they settled for talking, waiting for their alarm to tell them it was time to wake up.
Raven sighed, closing her eyes and tried to relax. Last night's dream had been awful, like always, but her father had said things she hadn't understand. Something about heirs and pain and trying again. She closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to think about it, but the memories of hellish visions and her friends getting hurt were still hunting her. It'd left her with an awful feeling in the bottom of her stomach, and she had gone to throw up the moment she'd woken up, worrying Garfield to no end. At least now they were at peace. When she opened her eyes, she found two bright green eyes staring at her.
"Want to talk about it?" She blinked at her lover's words, wondering if her expression had given her away.
"I'm fine." Garfield smiled as he had anticipated her words. She'd answered that the first time he'd asked and had given up.
"Hmm, alright." He gave up, moving to nuzzle her chin with his nose, "Whenever you're ready, I'm here." She sighed as he settled on her chest once more, grinning widely. He knew how to work her too well.
"It's nothing bad." She said and he turned to look up at her.
"It didn't sound like nothing bad." He replied, remembering the scream and the explosions that had woken both of them up, and then the way she'd ran to the bathroom and the gagging noises that came after. The empath sighed, looking away and frowning.
"It was similar to all those other dreams." She started and he smiled to himself, having learned by now that Raven couldn't be pushed. "But this one felt real." He lost his smile and frowned. It wasn't fair. He was there to protect her from any harm, but how could he when the threat was inside her head? He wondered if he could steal her mirror to fight the demon inside her head. But then, that wasn't really her father, was it? That thing was just the portal, her own rage, and he wouldn't be able to attack or kill anything that was a part of Raven, a part that made her be her. So, instead, he moved and reversed their positions, sitting up from her chest and resting his back against his forgotten pillows and gathering her into his arms. She didn't resist, moving so it was her resting her head against his chest this time. This was the least he could do; offer her some reassurance through a hug.
"It's not real." He muttered against her hair and felt her sigh against his chest.
"I know, but… He took you away. Again. "
"No. No buts. There's nothing he can do to take me away, you know that." She nodded, wanting to be as confident as he sounded.
"There are things not even you can fight." She whispered after a moment of silence and she felt him tense. Raven looked up at him as he stared away in deep thought, but then he noticed her staring and he turned with a forced smile.
"That's one of the things that drive me crazy." She blinked up at him with wide eyes as his hugged her closer. "I wouldn't care- wouldn't even doubt giving up myself to know you're safe, hell just to ensure you're happy." Raven sighed, not liking the conversation,
"I know. I know you don't like talking about it. But… It's true, Rae." He looked down at her and his smile softened. "I love you." Raven's eyes widened before turning away, blushing and hiding her face against him.
"Know." He finished with a grim smile, knowing she still felt uncomfortable hearing it. He wondered, not for the first time, how it would be to feel what others felt, to always know when they were sad, happy, angry. "Do you also know how much?" He asked and she turned to look up at him again. For a moment there she was silent and he thought she wasn't going to answer, but then he felt her nod and he smiled again. "You've become a necessity, Rae." He said and then his own eyes widened as the words were said with a curious tone, almost as if he was discovering this along as he was saying it. And maybe that was just the case. "Holy shit." He said in surprise, his own eyes widening, "I can't live without you."
"Oh, shut up." She answered in a tone that made him smile. Leave it to her to prefer avoid the embarrassment than to directly answer to his words. Any other girl would be sighing in contentment at the romantic words. Not Rae. She was far too cynical, far too smart and far too tough.
"It's the truth." He whispered, kissing her warm forehead. When he looked down at her again, she was still pouting and blushing and her expression made him chuckle, her lips pursed and looked far more distressed than the words merited. His laughter made her glare at him though.
"If you're going to keep making fun of me, I'm going to take an early shower." With that she started to move away but he tightened his hold.
"Oh come on! I'm not making fun of you. I mean every word." He was still chuckling though and she was still pouting. "I love you, Rae." He felt her nod against his chest and his smile widened. "What about you?" He asked shyly making her turn slightly. Raven pursed her lips, looking unamused.
"Seriously?" He blushed and shrugged nervously, looking away.
"Well, I know- you know, that you do… you know. Well… I think so, at least." Raven raised an eyebrow.
"You think so?" He chuckled awkwardly.
"Well… You- you don't say it often so…" Raven sighed.
"I literally have a physical representation of each feeling. You've MET my feelings for you. Are you seriously doubting that I-" She stopped as she realized she almost said and then corrected herself, "what I feel." Beast boy sighed sadly.
"I don't- I'm not doubting anything. Just-" He peered at her nervously, "You never say it." Raven pursed her lips, immediately disliking where the conversation had gone. Leave it to him to be selfish enough to think of his own feelings when it'd been her nightmares that had woken them both up. Not only that, but his words had filled the emptiness she'd felt after suffering such nightmares with the sensation of nervousness, dread and nausea. Couldn't he see that those promises weren't her style? As appreciated as they would be by any other woman, Raven was not any other woman. She was someone trained to not feel since childhood, someone meant to be controlled and stoic, and certainly someone whom anyone would love so much they would call her a necessity. So she did whatever she did whenever he started getting far too romantic for her taste: she distracted him.
The empath moved, taking advantage of their position, swiftly moving her legs until she was straddling his lap, staring down at him as he leaned his back against the pillows, only half sitting.
"Rae?" He asked nervously, still unused, even after all those years together, to have her be as bold as to sit on his lap, not on her own will at least. Despite his fiancée being far more comfortable with their intimacy than he'd ever expected before, she still wasn't the kind to boldly start in such an intimate position. Not that he was complaining, especially when she stared at him with those bright, big violet eyes and that stoic expression he both loved and loathed so much. What was she thinking? He opened his mouth to speak, but then her finger covered his lips.
"Hush." She whispered, leaning down to nuzzle his chin and he couldn't help but close his eyes at the sensations. And she felt so warm… How easy he was when it came to her, and how weak he could be under such situations. He wondered with that last neuron that wasn't still completely focused on the sensations if it had anything to do with his powers. Animals weren't exactly known for their self-control, only humans were that foolish as to deny themselves such pleasures. Then again, he was sure he wouldn't be as inclined to lose control if it weren't his own very human love allowing him to do so. His hands went to her hips, holding her still as he still didn't feel like losing control that fast. He knew perfectly well what she was doing and, no matter how pleasurable, he didn't like it.
"You're doing it again." He whispered with a hoarse voice and he could almost feel her smile against his neck.
"I'm doing nothing." She replied and he smiled widely, his eyes still tightly closed.
"You're trying to distract me, babe. As much as I like it I still want to-ah." She moved. Of course she did, always running away from such conversations. He felt her hands under his shirt and he let out air through his nostrils, trying to regain control. "Tease." He muttered, finally losing his resolve and moving his head to kiss her. She almost smiled against his lips as her little trick worked once again. It made her feel somewhat proud to have such control over him, made her feel powerful to have such a strong man, a titan, one that could defeat many, including herself, become putty under her attentions. It was a horrible thought, wanting control over someone she loved so much, but she'd resolved years ago to blame her demonic part for such pride. He did it with his instincts; it was only fair for her to have the same advantages.
He moved to remove his shirt at her constant pulling, and she caught a glimpse of his expression before he kissed her again. He was getting wild again, caught up in her actions. She knew it excited him when she started their intimate moments, as little as she did, and she rejoiced in the fact that she could use that to her advantage. How devious, Raven, to use his feelings for your own gain.
She gasped, pushing away from his lips, her own breathing as ragged as his. Was that- Her eyes widened. Had that been rage? Love? It certainly hadn't been her, despite the fact that she'd heard her own voice. But that tone, those words, they certainly weren't her own, not entirely.
"Rae…" Garfield leaned back up to kiss her neck, and she couldn't help but be frozen in place, her heart still hammering inside her chest in fear at what had just happened. And she felt sick. Very sick. Wanting to throw up sick.
"Ga-" She was going to stop him, meaning to move away to get some air and she knew he would get hurt again at her pushing away. Hadn't he said she always did that? Just when things start to go right. He was right. But as intimate as the two were, as sweet and gentle as he got, as honest and loving, she was still part demon and her emotions still needed to be under control. Thankfully, the titan alarm kept her from hurting him once again.
"Dammit." Garfield groaned against her neck, breathing raggedly as he tried to calm himself. Raven let out a breath in relief; thankful that they were interrupted without her having to push him away, knowing full well he would get hurt. Beast boy moved away, smiling at his beloved. "We could always just ditch this call." He joked, but she glared at him and he sighed. "Alright, alright. Jeeze." Raven sighed, moving away from him and he closed his eyes for a moment trying to calm himself and opened his eyes in time to catch Raven changing into her uniform. "Well," he said with a light smile, "We can always finish that later." He moved to leave the bed, "I gotta admit, I'm kind of disappointed in you." Raven turned to him with wide eyes, wondering if he'd noticed anything from her. "Not one explosion." He clicked his tongue teasingly as she looked around and noticed he was right. "I'm going to have to try harder when we come back." He winked at her as he moved to the bathroom, closing the door behind him and leaving her alone in the room.
Raven let out a shaky breath. No explosions. That wasn't right. She'd been into it, and had caused far too much damage for far less before, one of the reasons she wasn't usually the one who started anything. But today was different, she felt different. She frowned as she turned to her mirror, staring at her own expression. She looked tired, with deep dark circles under her eyes, a consequence of lack of sleep she assumed. The empath sighed, placing a hand against the very cold surface of the mirror as she stared at herself. She was still feeling queasy, her stomach still behaving in an odd way and the nausea was still there.
That dream hadn't been right, not that any of them were. She frowned, lost in her thoughts. Maybe her father was trying to tell her something. His voice been almost taunting, bitter and full of hatred, but she couldn't even remember what he'd said, only the feeling his words had placed on her remained: fear.
"You okay?" Raven blinked as she realized her fiancée was standing behind her, staring at her reflection with a worried expression. Funny, she hadn't felt him there.
"I'm fine." Garfield sighed at the answer. Of course she would say that.
"Maybe you should sit this one out." He offered, trying to smile but being unable to hide how worried he was. That scream earlier hadn't been normal, and the fact that she was so distracted her powers wouldn't act up was starting to scare him. What if she got as distracted in battle?
"I said I'm fine." She said with a glare, managing to make her words sound final despite the monotone. Garfield offered her an awkward grin, raising his hands as if she was about to attack him.
"Okay, alright. If you feel well enough." She frowned and turned sharply, her cloak floating behind her, and he let out a breath once she was out of the room. She was never going to change, was she? He turned to look at his own reflection and smiled grimly. The sad part was, he wouldn't have it any other way.
The flight downtown, where the alarm had started, was proving to be difficult. Raven used her arms to keep the air from hitting her eyes, finding it far too hard to focus and keep her eyes from watering. Odd too, since that hadn't happened before. A loud noise came from her left and she turned to the green raven flying next to her as it stared at her. Even without expression, Beast Boy's passionate emotions were able to show through and express concern through his eyes.
"Raven. You are well?" Said Starfire from her right and the empath turned to her teammate.
"I'm fine." Said Raven for what felt the thousand time that morning, "I just didn't sleep well." Starfire sent a look past her to the green raven, and the empath sighed in annoyance. If there was something she hated doing was worrying her team. So the girl tried to speed up, forcing her arms to her sides and flying forward. And that proved to be too tiring, far more than usual, but the bank wasn't that far away.
It was the Hive. Again. Those guys never gave up. Funny too, considering how without Jinx to lead them, they all started focusing on petty thievery. Stealing money from the bank on a Saturday morning. They weren't very smart either.
Robin ordered them and they all moved. Raven floated to the ground, unable to keep herself afloat, and wanting to save her little energy for the fight. Starfire was busy with Gizmo, trying hard to avoid the many tiny bombs he was throwing her with his mechanical tentacles. Robin was fighting Billy Numerous, avoiding each attack the many copies tried on him. Cyborg was focused on See More, his arm throwing balls of energy at him, as the one eyed boy tried to get him with his laser. Garfield was focused on Kyd Wykkyd, trying to catch him with multiple forms, but the magic boy kept disappearing and appearing somewhere else. That left her with…
"Mammoth." She muttered bitterly under her breath, raising her arms and stretching her fingers, preparing to use her powers. She was still dizzy and she still felt weak, but everyone knew Mammoth was all brawl and no brain. She could easily defeat him with magic. She could- And he was throwing a car at her.
"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" Her hands glowed in dark energy, as well as the car thrown at her, and it fell onto the ground suddenly, keeping her safe. For the moment. Her arms dropped to her sides as she felt her stomach turn again, and she panted, suddenly feeling very tired as her hands stopped glowing. This wasn't right. There had to be something wrong. There had-
"RAVEN!" Robin's voice made her raise her head as she saw two more cars being thrown at her and her eyes widened as she tried raising her arms again.
"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!"
Nothing happened, and the cars were still coming.
She closed her eyes tightly, using her arms to shield her face, but she knew it was over. She was going to get hurt, or worse. But then a shadow came over her and all she could see was green fur. There was a painful growl, like a howling wolf, and then he moved away. Beast Boy had transformed back into the beast to keep her safe, taking the blow for her. He grabbed the cars that had fallen next to him and threw them right back at Mammoth, hitting him with one. But that wasn't enough to defeat the huge Fearsome Five member. It was merely enough to slow him down. But the beast couldn't care less for him, he was focused on someone else. A second later, there was a green man, staring at Raven with wide eyes, and the empath couldn't help but feel impressed at how much control Garfield was displaying.
"Are you okay? Raven? What happened- are- are you hurt?" He was stuttering and she let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding in.
"I'm fine." Even in her ears, it sounded weak.
"Raven!" Robin called suddenly and she turned, as he moved from his battle for a second. "You need to get out of here. Cyborg! Take Raven back to the tower. Beast Boy, come on." He was quick to give out orders.
"Roger!" Yelled out Cyborg, landing a punch against See More's cheek to bring him down.
"But-" Started Garfield, as he pleaded with his eyes to his leader, but Robin was distracted as he pulled out his staff to keep one of the many Billies from hitting him.
"That's an order!"
Garfield nodded, but sent Robin a glare. Quickly enough, Raven was pulled from the ground and she was being suddenly carried by Cyborg, who'd managed to slip away from See More as he tried to stand back up.
"I'll take care of her, B."
Raven tried to move as Cyborg avoided some bombs thrown his way by Gizmo.
"I can walk." The half-bot smiled.
"You can walk, but you can't run, Rave." She was suddenly thrown into the car, and she had to hold her head to stop the dizziness. And then Cyborg was on the driver's seat next to her, and the wheels squealed as he turned the engine on and started driving fast.
"Not so fast…" She moaned, closing her eyes and missing her older brother's smirk.
"Well, we gotta figure out what's wrong with you as soon as possible. I know the elf will be all over me once the team returns to the tower." He was talking lightly but then noticed how pale the girl next to him was turning. "Raven?" The empath was taking deep breaths and he was starting to see what Robin had seen. Raven wasn't fine. Not even close to it. "You okay, girl?"
"I'm-" She was going to say it again, for the thousand and- what was that? Two? Time, but then her stomach turned again and she let out a breath. "I'm not fine." She admitted finally and Cyborg turned his eyes back to the road, trying to hurry their arrival to the tower.
"Odd how you fell sick in the summer." Raven pursed her lips.
"I don't think that's it." Cyborg looked at her sideways, trying to keep his attention both on the road and on the girl next to him. She pursed her lips, her eyes narrowing at the road. She wasn't an idiot, and she wasn't some dumb teenager either. She knew what she'd been doing and she somewhat knew she would deal with the consequences. "I think I might be pregnant."
That probably wasn't the best thing to say to your big brother when he's driving a car.
"WHAT!?" Cyborg suddenly lost control of the wheel, probably because as soon as he yelled that out, he let go of said wheel while still accelerating and the car turned a couple of times until his brain cells reminded him to hit the breaks. After the merry go round of hell, Raven leaned against the door, looking ready to vomit and Cyborg stared at her with wide eyes. "You- what? I mean- what? Raven… WHAT?!" The empath took a deep breath and looked at him sideways.
"It's too soon for me to feel any energy." She said, placing a hand on her lower belly. Certainly, she felt nothing. "I want to be sure." She sent him a look that obviously meant she wanted his help, considering he worked like the physician of the group. Cyborg was still staring at her with wide eyes.
"Do- does he know?" He didn't need to say whom he was talking about. It was pretty obvious.
"No." Said Raven with a frown, "And he won't know." Cyborg let out a sigh.
"Rave, you need to tell him. He's going to-"
"He won't know." She interrupted, saying each word clearly as if threatening him as she said it.
"Don't ask me that, Rave." He said, shaking his head. "B is my best friend. He has to know." Raven sighed.
"I just want to be sure before I-" She stopped talking, letting out a breath. A headache was starting too and Cyborg sighed, starting the car once again.
"Alright, fine. But once you're sure. If you are-" He gulped, "Ya know. You gotta tell him." Raven nodded.
"I will when the time is right." She said and Cyborg nodded, trying to focus on the road once again.
"Yeah. Okay." He said in a low voice. "And when you do, I'm gonna kill him." And Raven smiled at that.
Once at the tower, it didn't take long for Cyborg to start testing. All he needed was some blood, so now Raven was sitting on one of the beds at the med area, feeling uncomfortable and hugging herself.
"This will just take a few minutes. Don't worry. We'll know for sure." The girl nodded, but despite her incredible self-control and her stoic expression, her position showed how nervous she was. Cyborg moved to his little sister, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Hey," He said and she turned her eyes at him, "It's going to be okay." She nodded, though she didn't believe it. "Whatever happens, we're all here for you. And you know B. Even if you are, he'll be all psyched over it." The empath frowned.
"I'm not that sure." Cyborg raised an eyebrow. "He wouldn't even accept Timmy when he came over. I don't think he would want to have a child." She sighed. "I know for sure I don't." Cyborg's human eye widened.
"But you're getting married." He said awkwardly, unsure if he was the one she was supposed to have this conversation with. Wasn't that what parents were for? Or… girlfriends? He didn't know. Where was Starfire when he needed her?
"FRIEND RAVEN!" As if on cue, the door opened and Starfire flew in with stretched out arms and gathered the empath in a tight embrace. "We were so worried! Are you still in distress? May I offer assistance making you some Gurpak? Its sweet and spicy flavor provides the perfect recipe for making an upset body happier." She stopped as if thinking about it, "Emptying your vowels to allow new nutrients in." Raven forced a smile.
"I'm fine, Starfire."
"I've heard that before." Said Garfield with a frown from the door. He walked up to her, managing to look both angry and worried at the same time. "I told you to stay here! I told you to sit it out. But NO! You just had to go and- and-" He sighed, moving to his fiancée and grabbing her hand, "How are you?" He asked, not managing to stay angry as he had intended to. "For real this time. None of that 'I'm fine' bullshit." Raven almost smiled.
"It's just a stomach thing." She lied, sending a look at Cyborg as he rolled his human eye at her from behind Beast Boy.
"You don't get sick often." Noted the detective of the team as he joined them with a frown and crossed arms. He looked as worried as Beast Boy, but there was also a hint of suspicion in his voice.
"No." She said with a forced glare, "I don't." Robin returned the glare.
"And your powers haven't failed like that before either." Raven sighed.
"No, they haven't." He stared at her, as if waiting for an explanation. From behind him, Cyborg made a sign to the girl.
You. Tell. Them. NOW. Raven glared at him as he mouthed these words, but shook her head.
"I don't understand what you're trying to keep secret." Robin said and Beast Boy glared at him.
"Hey, if she says she's sick, then she's sick. Raven wouldn't lie to us."
You. Tell. Them. Now. Cyborg was still mouthing things, trying to act out the words wildly from behind the team and Raven tried her best to keep her eyes on the other three.
"No, but she's kept things from us before." Raven narrowed her eyes at her team leader.
"So now I'm not allowed to keep secrets?" She asked and Robin glared back.
"Not when it puts you and the rest of the team in danger." She pursed her lips.
"How did I put the rest of the team in danger?" She asked pointedly and Garfield sighed, knowing what was coming.
"Haven't you seen Beast Boy's back?" He turned the man around and the empath's eyes widened as she saw cuts on the green man's back.
"He stopped two cars with his back!" Robin said pointedly, and Garfield rolled his eyes, turning back to Raven.
"Dude, it's cool. I'm fine. It's just a cut."
"It could've been worse."
"But maybe friend Raven was feeling alright when we arrived at the scene." Starfire tried to help, since the empath was being quiet. Meanwhile, Cyborg still kept making random movements behind the three, urging Raven to tell the truth.
"Was she?" Asked Robin, turning his sharp tone at his girlfriend, "Because I think I heard you asking her about it through the com." Starfire looked down as she played nervously with her fingers.
"I was concerned for her health." Robin's glare turned back at the empath as she stared down at the floor.
"And why is that?" Starfire fell quiet and Raven wasn't answering either, so Garfield sighed and took the lead.
"She couldn't fly well." Raven turned her eyes to her fiancée and glared at him. "Well, it's true!" He said desperately, clinging to her hand. "And Robin's right, Rae. You can't go around placing yourself in danger. If you don't feel well, then you should just stay in the tower." Raven kept glaring.
"I'm fine." The green man let out an exasperated sigh and Cyborg covered his face with one hand, shaking his head, knowing those words would anger his friend.
"There you go again!" Yelled out Beast Boy, letting go of her hand to raise his arms out, already getting angry, "You're always saying that! You're not fine, Rae. You're not well. And you won't tell us why!" Raven kept glaring and he returned the glare, "You woke up screaming bloody murder today. You keep having those dreams and I know you don't like it when I meddle, but in case you didn't notice they're driving me crazy as well!" Robin's eyes narrowed.
"What dreams?" Raven let out a breath, not before sending her beloved another glare.
"I've been having dreams about my father." Robin nodded.
"Prophetic dreams?" He asked, and she knew what he was referring to, the coming of her father to earth still fresh in their memories.
"I don't know." Robin moved to stand in front of her.
"This is important Raven, you need to tell us what you know." The empath narrowed her eyes.
"It's all I know." Robin shook his head,
"No it's not. What were those dreams about?" Raven sighed.
"I don't remember."
"You have to try."
"I can't remember." She spoke between her teeth, not appreciating being pushed around. If her powers had been right, she would've pushed Robin away already.
"Yes you can. If this is another come back of Trigon, we need to know. We need to prepare."
"I know that." She answered back, "This isn't about those dreams."
"Yes it is. Why else would you be losing your powers?" Her eyes widened. "You think I wouldn't notice? You're going into battle without them. You can't fight like that." She snorted.
"You do it all the time." Robin could've growled, but he kept his head cool, only his tone was icy.
"I'm trained to do so!"
"So am I!" Raven raised her voice to match her leaders.
"Not like I am. You know that well. Today you almost got hit."
"Dude-" Tried Beast Boy, but he was ignored.
"I didn't. We're all okay. And that isn't about those dreams."
"Then what are they about?" retorted Robin and Raven shook in anger. The saddest part was that there were no explosions, not lost control, but she could feel her emotions wild. What was happening?
"I don't KNO-"
There was silence after that. Raven's eyes widened as she turned her eyes at the last person who spoke. Cyborg looked as cool as ever, his arms crossed, as he seemed tired of the previous conversation. All other four members of the group turned to stare at him with wide eyes.
"What?" Robin was the first one to react.
"Raven's pregnant." Repeated Cyborg and then shrugged, correcting himself, "MIGHT be pregnant. That's why she's not feeling well." Raven glared at him.
"You have no right to-" Cyborg shook his head,
"No, YOU have no right to keep this from us." He said, "We're a family, Rave. We're in this together."
"Oh, glorious!" Starfire squealed, suddenly throwing her arms around the empath. "You will be a K'norfka! This is the most joyous news!"
"Pregnant?" Repeated Beast Boy, still looking in trance. Robin turned to the empath.
"You're pregnant?" He asked her and she shrugged, as the Starfire pulled away.
"I might be." Robin let out a breath.
"Well, that- ah." He cleared his throat, "That explains a lot."
"Pregnant?" Repeated Garfield again, turning his wide eyes at his fiancée. She stared right back at him.
"We shall start planning the arrival! We only have three months after all!" Starfire was still cueing and Robin smiled at her,
"Human babies take nine months, Star." The red headed girl blinked at him in shock.
"Nine months? Wouldn't that mean the child has perished?" Robin shook his head,
"That's how long it takes."
"Pregnant?" Squeaked the green man for a third time and Cyborg smiled awkwardly at him, moving to slap his back with too much force.
"Chill out, B. And congratulations, man. This is great news." But Garfield was far too shocked to notice his friend. Instead, he turned his wide eyes to Raven.
"Pregnant?" The empath sighed, trying to ignore her headache.
"I don't know for sure. That's why I'm here." Beast Boy nodded slowly, though he wasn't sure what he was nodding at.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Raven turned away.
"I wasn't sure. I'm still not sure. I didn't want to…" To make you have the reaction you're having now. "I wanted to be sure. But thanks to Cyborg-" She sent her robotic friend a glare, and he smiled back awkwardly, before pulling away, to go see the machines that were still testing Raven's blood sample. "We'll find out together…" She pursed her lips as she turned her eyes to Robin and Starfire, the later already picking out names in Tamaranean, while their leader discarded them, "ALL of us."
Beast Boy was still nodding, his eyes still wide and Raven, for a moment there, was worried that she couldn't feel well enough what he was feeling. Was he glad? Angry? Scared? Maybe a mix of all those?
"Pregnant." He said again and Raven sighed, turning away from him and sending another glare at Cyborg. This was his entire fault. What if she was pregnant? Then what? Was Garfield going to leave? He had made it clear before that he didn't want children, and to be honest, neither did she. The empath placed a hand over her lower stomach, still frowning. What if the child had her powers? What then? What could they possibly do to keep the baby from destroying the world around them? Her own mother had had to leave this dimension in order to get help, so maybe Azarath? Raven sighed sadly, was she going to have to leave to protect both her child and this world? A hand joined the one on her stomach and she looked up to find a serious Garfield staring at her. Her eyes widened at his expression, and the slight touch let her know how scared he was… but he wasn't angry, not as far as she could feel at least. His thumb caressed her skin lightly, and he gave her a shaky smile. She stared right back, trying to smile back but being unable to do so. She was as scared as he felt and, for a moment there, their teammates just faded onto the background, their voices barely present. Only the man in front of her, scared as she was, could make it all better now. Suddenly, he was kissing her gently and she sighed against him. She could finally feel his emotions this way, and she'd been right. He was scared. Very much so. And she cut short the kiss, looking away from him.
"It's okay, Rae." He whispered, still holding her hand, "We'll get through this." Raven turned away, pursing her lips and feeling bitter. It wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear, though she didn't even know what she wanted to hear. This was easy for him, he could just look at her from afar as she dealt with it all. She cursed her gender, wondering if he even knew how scary this was for a female.
"How?" She asked curtly and he blinked in surprise.
"I- ah. I don't know. We- ah…" He cleared his throat. "We can… um… I'll do whatever you want." She snorted, moving her hand away from his touch. That wasn't how he was supposed to react to this news. She wasn't sure HOW she'd expected him to react, but this certainly wasn't it. So she crossed her arms, hugging herself, unsure of what she wanted. But Garfield rolled his eyes too and sighed. "What do you want from me?" He asked her and she looked down.
"I don't know."
"Come on, Rae. Just tell me. I can-"
"I think you did enough." Her sharp tone shocked him, but managed to anger him as well. Neither noticed the rest of the team had stopped talking and turned to them.
"You're blaming me for this?" He asked, his voice rising slightly. He knew he should be more understanding, that she was probably as scared as he was, but he still found it cruel of her to act this way. He was going to be a father! Him! Prankster, immature, jokester, unable to take care of himself much less another human being, Beast boy. Gosh, what if the kid ended up green? She would certainly hate him for it. Wouldn't she? And what if the kid had his powers? They would have to train the baby to deal with the pain of twisting bones and flesh. And teach him how to turn into things bigger than himself. Garfield shuddered at his memories, as he recalled how difficult it'd been for him, barely thirteen, with Mento training him, yelling, screaming, even sometimes using his powers against him to ensure he could reach his full potential. He wasn't sure if he would be able to do that, to be so rough and critical of his kid, of something he created with Raven, a perfect combination of the two. He closed his eyes in silent prayer, asking someone, whoever was listening, for the baby to end up like Raven and not like himself. He knew of his faults, and knew how hard it would be for a kid to live his life.
"Well, it's not exactly MY fault." She retorted back, bringing him back to the present. He glared at her, rubbing his face with the back of his hand. She looked so angry, even her face seemed flushed and, though Raven was very pale, it was never easy to get her that red. "You're the one in charge of protection." She retorted back and he snorted.
"Um- guys?" Came Cyborg's awkward voice, trying to remind them they weren't alone, but the two ignored him.
"Only because you won't take anything for it!" Raven blew her hair out of her face as it was sticking to her skin, mixed with sweat.
"I can't take anything for it! Your DNA adapts to EVERYTHING, remember?" Garfield rolled his eyes.
"So you're actually saying this is my fault?" Raven's eyes narrowed.
"You don't wear protection all the time, do you?" Garfield crossed his arms.
"Well, we start things in the most random places! I didn't hear you complain back then!" Raven glared back at him, not even noticing her teammates blushing and looking awkward, ready to leave the room.
"You should have enough self control to stop it!"
"Me?! You're the one who's TRAINED to have self control!"
"Oh, and what have we been doing this past year? What about meditation?"
"In case you didn't notice, I HAVE trained! But controlling the beast is different!"
"You're the one who starts it!"
"Oh, like this morning?"
"Oh come on, guys." Cyborg tried again, covering his blushing face with one big hand, but the other two were too focused on their argument. He did NOT need to hear that. At least Robin seemed as embarrassed as he felt, but Starfire didn't seem phased by the talk about sex.
"Well, I didn't hear YOU complain about it." She retorted back and he snorted.
"You use sex to distract me!" And she rolled her eyes.
"I do not."
"Um… guys?" Cyborg's voice tried again.
"Oh, you so do. Because you can't deal with the fact that you CAN'T right out talk about your emotions." Raven crossed her arms, trying to get rid of the cold feeling his words were causing on her skin.
"I don't NEED to talk them out. You should know what I feel."
"Oh, so now I'm supposed to have your powers too. What else do you want me to do, Raven? Read your mind?"
"I didn't say that."
"It's exactly what you're saying! Awesome. You can feel what I feel for you. Well, I can't do the same to you."
"You've MET my affection."
"That's not the same as love!" She snorted.
"I see no difference."
"Well, I do!" A beeping noise sounded, but the two were arguing so loud, neither heard it.
"That's because you don't understand it." She replied back and he threw his arms out in frustration.
"Oh, so now I'm stupid." Raven's eyes narrowed.
"You're the one saying it." Beast Boy glared at her again.
"Is that what you think of me?"
"Guys?" Cyborg called them, but Raven ignored him.
"What else am I supposed to think? You knew what you were getting into when we started this relationship. If you were mature enough to…"
"You're the one throwing blame around, Raven! Don't talk to me about maturity!"
"I'm the one who has to deal with this. And you're acting as it will affect YOU." Beast Boy's eyes widened.
"It WILL affect me, Raven! You think I'm just going to walk out on you?"
"Well, aren't you?"
"Of course not! We're in this together, Rae!" Raven's eyes widened as she realized he was in fact not going anywhere, but Cyborg took advantage of the silence to speak again.
"You're not pregnant." Raven was still staring at Garfield, who was still staring right back. "Yo, guys?" The empath blinked out of her trance and turned to her older brother.
"You're not pregnant." Repeated Cyborg, actually sounding disappointed.
"Oh no!" Exclaimed Starfire, hurrying to give Raven a very necessary hug.
"I'm not pregnant?" She asked and Garfield took her hand.
"We're not pregnant?" He asked and Robin moved to place a hand on the green man's shoulder.
"No. Rave's ah- sick. She has the flu." The empath looked down. No wonder she'd been feeling cold, and dizzy enough to throw up. But not pregnant?
"But what about…?" She didn't finish the sentence and Cyborg shrugged.
"That can be caused by stress, Rave. You know that." The girl frowned, but then nodded, turning back to her stoic usual self. "I'm gonna give you a shot for the fever. You should go upstairs and sleep some. Try to relax." She nodded, still staring at the half bot emotionlessly.
"I'm sorry, Beast Boy." Said Robin as he noticed the disappointed look on his friend's face. The green man nodded, looking down at the hand he'd been holding. No wonder… even that morning, she'd been feeling so warm, even if her skin was always cold. Why hadn't he noticed?
"This is most distressing news. I was already excited at the idea of having a smaller version of friend Raven as company." Robin smiled at Starfire and moved to hold her hand, pulling her away from the empath.
"It's fine, Star." The alien sighed, but then she squealed in excitement.
"Maybe WE should have a child!" She proposed lightly and the team leader gulped.
"Why don't we… ah, go discuss this some place else?" And the two left the room, as Starfire kept squealing at the idea.
Cyborg moved quietly around the couple, who were both still quiet, still holding hands. He prepared the needle, moved to Raven and moved her sleeve to apply the shot. She barely even noticed, still lost in thought, looking down at the floor as Beast Boy stared at her.
"I'll see you guys later." Muttered Cyborg, knowing to give the two some space. But he stopped by Garfield, placing a huge hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, man." He said solemnly and his friend nodded.
"Thanks, dude." Replied Garfield as if in trance, still staring at Raven. And with that, the half bot moved to leave the infirmary, giving them both their very necessary space.
For a moment there, neither spoke. Raven still looked as stoic as ever, still staring down at the floor, still looking flushed because of the fever.
"Raven?" tried Garfield, and that seemed to bring her out of her trance. The empath blinked, feeling dizzy and she jumped from the bed, standing up and dropping the hand she'd been holding.
"I should go lay down." She muttered, already moving away, but he grabbed her wrist.
"Let me take you there." He said and she shook her head.
"I can walk."
"I know. I just…" He sighed, "Please?" She turned to him, finally looking at him, still stoic. But he couldn't hide his emotions that easily. He looked sad, heart broken, and completely disappointed. Had he been looking forward to the baby? And on the same note, had she? She felt exactly like he did. But why? Neither wanted children, right? Both had been scared, right down terrified, so why weren't they feeling relieved? She nodded, allowing him to carry her and he moved, easily lifting her petite form in his arms. She hid her face against his neck, turning her upper body to feel his warmth. Funny, the last time he did this, it'd been years ago, and he could barely walk with her weight. Now, he stood proudly and strong, walking fast toward the lift to take them both to their room. The two were quiet as they arrived to their room. Beast Boy moved to the bed, gently placing her down on it, staring into her eyes sadly, but he kept his arms around her.
"I'm sorry." He whispered and she nodded.
"Me too." Garfield sighed, finally moving away. His head hung low as he sat on the bed, his hands running through his hair nervously. And Raven gulped as this position let her see his hurt back. He wasn't even flinching. Was he really that used to pain?
"I know this… this wasn't expected but… I really… I wanted…" He said and she sighed as she turned on the bed.
"You wanted to have a baby." He fell quiet for a moment, unsure of what to say, but then he asked,
"Didn't you?" And Raven frowned.
"I don't know." She answered as honestly as she could. "I was scared. I-" She gulped, not used to talk about her emotions, but this was what he wanted, right? "I wonder what we would do if our children end up having demonic powers." He blinked, turning to her, almost amused at the fact that she'd been having the same worries he had.
"We would be lucky if our kids ended up like you." He said and she snorted. He smiled at her sadly, moving to lay next to her, wincing as his back made contact with the bed, but settling down after a moment. He gathered her in his arms and she didn't resist, placing her head against his chest. "I mean it, Rae. Or are you telling me you want some green kids running about and transforming into little pets?" She shrugged.
"I wouldn't mind green skin." He snorted and she looked up at him. "I like green. Better than violet hair." He smiled sadly at her.
"I like violet." He kissed her forehead and she sighed, relaxing her body against him. The shot Cyborg had given her had been good enough to slowly get rid of her headache, but she still felt weak, tired and unsure of what to say. So, she said what he'd wanted to hear that morning.
"I love you." His eyes widened as he stared up at the roof, but then he smiled again.
"I love you too." He sighed, still staring up as he felt her cuddle closer against him. She felt so warm and she was shivering, so he gently held her closer, trying to warm her up, ignoring the pain on his back.
"A lot." He smiled down at her, leaning down to kiss her forehead.
"I know. Me too." She nodded against him.
"I'm sorry about before. I was…" She trailed off and he nodded.
"Yes, I- I know." It seemed like they'd reversed their usual lines. "Me too. I was… me too." Raven sighed against him, closing her eyes as she spoke.
"When we get married… do you- are you expecting…?"
"I don't know, Rae. I- I never really thought about it." She sighed.
"You don't like Timmy." She felt him shrug.
"It's not the same thing. And I like the kid. You just have him too spoiled." She almost smiled at that.
"What makes you think I won't spoil our children too?" Beast Boy snorted.
"With an uncle like Robin? I doubt we'll be able to even give them treats." She rolled her eyes.
"They won't be dogs, Gar." He chuckled at the idea.
"Maybe they will. Changeling powers, remember?" And it was then when they both noticed that they'd stopped speaking in hypotheticals and were actually discussing their future. Garfield sighed feeling her tense, and he hugged her closer. "You should try to sleep." She shook her head against his chest.
"We should discuss this." And he smiled down at her.
"Later. Now you need some rest, or you won't be able to get rid of that flu." She let out a deep breath, further relaxing.
"I said no buts, remember?" He muttered and then snickered, "Heh. Butts." And she rolled her eyes.
"Only you would end this conversation like that." And he laughed.
"You know it."
AN: There you go. I'm sorry! I know it's a serious subject, but it has a purpose. I promise. Also, next chapter will have Jason back! Yay, Jason! I hope you liked this chapter. I know it deals with a difficult, serious theme, but hopefully it wasn't all that boring for you. Please leave me a comment on what you thought of it. And thank you so much for reading and for your patience.