I would like to begin this entry with a resounding I TOLD YOU SO!
Guess who goes out now? And guess who got married?
I, James Sirius Potter, am the most amazing matchmaker this world has even seen! I would compare myself to cupid, but I'm too suave for diapers, and if I had wings ... well actually that might be kinda sweet..
The point I am trying to make here is that I am pretty much the shit. Today I kicked ass!
Three reasons why...
First, Wood FINALLY decided to suck it up, grow a pair, and tell Rose how he felt.
Though I am not exactly thrilled with the way he went about it.
See the whole day Rose was majorly avoiding him. She even got Lawrence to attempt to keep us out of the house (that went well).Then Victiore made them walk down the aisle together, even though I'm sure Rose went bitching to her, trying to get the pairs changed . Sometimes I thank Merlin that Victiore can be such a maniacal bitch.
I didn't really pay attention to them during the walk, because I was perfectly content with giving Julie 100% of my undivided attention. But I did hear Lily tell them to shut up. And then I was unable to enjoy the actual ceremony, because every time I looked up Rose was glaring at me and mouthing things.
It wasn't until Victiore was in the middle of her vows that I realized Rose wasn't glaring at me, but at Wood, who was evidently harassing her. I'm not sure what he was hoping to accomplish because the second the wedding was over (or at least the boring 'official' part) Rose took off. Wood pretty much asked every person he could find where she was, but of course no one knew, and he had to stoop to the ultimate level of desperation and dishonor.
"Lawrence," Wood said, closing his eyes like he was in pain "I ... need your help."
Lawrence stared at him for a few seconds "Sorry," he said "I don't help arsonists."
I rolled my eyes "Jesus Lawrence it was like three years ago, he burned your doll, GET OVER IT!" I said.
"It was not a doll, it was an ACTION FIGURE, and emotional scars like that take serious time to heal!"
"Holy Shit Lawrence" I said "It was made of plastic; it wasn't your fucking brother."
"James, I have serious matters to attend to. I do not possess the time, or the patience to tolerate your company, now good day."
"Lawrence wait." Wood said "I really need your help okay, I'm beyond desperate. I know you hate me, and I can't even begin describe in words how much I detest you, but I need your help. I'll pay you. I'll buy you a new dol... Action figure, whatever. Will you please help me?"
Wow ...If I didn't know any better I'd say Rose slipped Wood some love potion, because that right there was the definition of unnatural. Wood begging Lawrence for help ... I was about to dive under the table we were sitting at, so as to protect myself from the flaming asteroids that would no doubt be engulfing the earth in a matter of minutes, but I didn't think that Wood would appreciate the theatrics.
"You'd pay me huh?" Lawrence said, with an evil smirk that resulted in one of Wood's neck twitch convulsions.
"Yes Lawrence," he said shakily "I'd pay you."
He put his hand on his chin and pretended to "think" for a minute.
"Alright," he finally said, "pending that this request is legal, I accept."
Wood sighed in relief, and then became very serious. "Okay then. I want you to find Rose, and I want you to tell her that I am not falling for her little tantrum and that she going to have to talk to me eventually. Do not let her walk away from you okay? Make her listen, get a response and come back here, Understand?"
Lawrence glared at him "I'm not an idiot!"
"Repeat the message." Wood said.
"You're not falling for her tantrum and she'll have to talk to you eventually."
"Right, and remember, make her listen."
"Oh and Lawrence," Wood said, before he could disappear into the crowd "this is really important, so if you screw this up I WILL kill you in your sleep."
I saw Lawrence gulp and nod, and then disappear.
"James," Wood said solemnly "I have now officially reached rock bottom."
"So you asked Lawrence for help, big deal." I said, trying to make him feel better.
"I don't know what else to do, she won't listen to me."
"You don't have to justify yourself, I get it."
He sighed and sat down "How long do you think it'll take him?"
"I dunno," I said "but I know what you can help me with until he gets back."
"What?" he asked halfheartedly.
"Julie." I said, looking around briefly to make sure she wasn't close enough to hear. I saw her talking to Aunt Fleur like eight tables away.
"What about Julie?" he asked.
"Well, I mean I like her. And I don't want to wait three years to tell her I like her, unlike SOMEPEOPLE."
He glared at me for a second "What do you need help with then?" he said.
"I'm not sure what to say, and you come out with some pretty poetic shit sometimes ..."
"Just tell her how you feel James, otherwise you'll sound fake, and most intelligent girls don't fall for that. "
"Yeah okay but I can just say, Hey I like you, I need to tell her like ... what I like about her."
"So tell her what you like about her."
"How? Maybe I should just ... tell Lily to tell her..."
"No, that's not a good way to go. We're not ten year olds."
I sighed "Okay so what should I say that? Should I tell her something like ... how pretty her smile is? That'll be a good jumping off point yeah?"
He shrugged "It's been said before, I'm sure she's heard it."
"Okay what about ..."
He put his hand up to silence me.
Lawrence had returned.
"Well?" Wood asked.
"She said that she heard everything she needed to hear last night, though she refused to tell me what exactly happened last night."
"That's because it's none of your business." I said, as Wood ran a hand through his hair.
"Lawrence," he said suddenly "go and tell her that I'm really sorry and that I really, really need to talk to her."
Lawrence nodded, glared at me, and then took off again.
"I told you she'd be stubborn about this." he said.
"She's stubborn about everything." I said.
"Yeah, so what were you saying before?"
I thought for a minute "Oh yeah, okay so I shouldn't compliment her on her looks, I should tell her how cool she is , like as a person? "
"That's probably a good place to start."
"But I don't want to make her uncomfortable .What if she doesn't like me back? Or if she gets freaked out because I've only known her for a little while. Or if she gets so freaked out that she tries to avoid me , and then she'll get weird with Victiore , because she'll feel bad about turning down her cousin , then Victiore will get mad at me , then Teddy will get mad at me , and not only that but then I'll never get to talk to her again , and would suck."
I took a deep breath and stared at the ground. Those things hadn't really come to mind until just now. Usually I act on impulse, when I think things through, I lose my nerve.
I'm pretty sure I just lost my nerve.
"So I bet waiting three years sounds pretty good right about now huh?" Wood said.
I would have snapped at him for being such a snarky asshole when I was quite clearly in emotional distress, but Lawrence chose that point to return.
"She says she doesn't want to talk to you."
"Tell her she's not being fair." Wood said.
Lawrence saluted and set off.
"Not being fair?" I said "Don't you think ' being a stubborn bitch' would be more accurate?"
He laughed somberly and stared off into to space. We sat there in silence, both thinking about pretty much the same thing. Though Wood had it easier, because Rose had already admitted to him that she liked him. Julie had, most unfortunately, done no such thing.
"She says life is unfair." Lawrence said, snapping us out of our daydreams.
"What the fuck kind of an answer is that? " Wood said "tell her she's acting like an idiot ... no wait!"
He said suddenly as Lawrence began to walk away "tell her she's being... childish and immature."
Of course Lawrence was perfectly happy with telling her that, since he tells the rest of us that pretty much every day.
When he came back, he looked even happier, which definitely worried me.
"Rose says that your being an asshole." Lawrence said with a giant smile.
Wood looked at him for a second and then ( just like I knew he was going to ) punched him in the arm.
"Oww" Lawrence whined "I didn't say it she did."
"Tell her that I'm really sorry and I seriously need to talk to her."
But of course this request really did nothing. Lawrence came back and said that Rose said it was stupid and she couldn't talk to him right now.
Then we had pictures, which were actually pretty fun . I got to stand next to Julie ( who was oblivious to any awkwardness I was feeling ), Lawrence looked like he was gonna cry when Mum Weasley told him he couldn't be in the pictures , and of course Rose could no longer escape Wood.
The second we were done he chased her right off into the house. I would have followed, but Julie wanted to talk. Not about what I wanted to talk about, but still.
"James," she said "I know I don't know you very well and this might seem like a weird thing to ask ..."
See right there I was ecstatic.
"but I was talking to Ms. Fleur and she thought it would be cute... ".
A little weirded out, but still ecstatic.
"and your dad thought it would be a good idea , and said he'd help you , if you needed it , just because it was such short notice... "
"and of course I'll help you too , but I know you can handle it ..."
"will you make a speech for Teddy and Victiore before dinner?"
"It's just that , I know you said you set them up , and Matthew isn't really all that good at things like this, and I just think it will be really cute ,and I know Teddy and Victiore would love it , so will you do it , please, please , please? "
She gave this pouty look, and I grimaced. She was going to be the death of me.
"Fine." I said.
"AW James you are SO sweet" then she hugged me ... that was cool.
"Alright, so I'm gonna go check on Wood..."
"I have to go tell Fleur, YOU are amazing James!"
I smiled and watched her run off. I must say I felt pretty good about myself, the speech thing was going to be a disaster, but I'd deal with that later. Now off to find Wood.
I wasn't going to interrupt them; I was just going to eavesdrop from outside the kitchen door. When I got there though, they were nowhere to be seen. I was about to call out, when I heard a door slam, and another huge crash.
I ran as fast as I could to see what was wrong.
When I got upstairs, I yanked open the girl's bedroom door.
"Hey Rose are you okay I heard_ OH MY GOD!"
I had prepared myself to find her room in ruins, maybe even to find Wood's lifeless body.
I did not however prepare myself to find them snogging the daylights out of one and other.
"I KNEW IT" I yelled."I KNEW IT, I WAS RIGHT, AND YOU TWO WERE WRONG, AND NOW I AM THE MASTER MATCH MAKER, CUPID CAN KISS MY ASS! I AM 2-0 BABY! WHATS UP!"
They didn't even stop journal, I was standing there, dancing, screaming my head off, and they didn't even stop snogging.
They closed the door, WHILE still sucking face.
WHAT THE FUCK!
It took me a minute to really grasp the situation. I was so blinded by massive I told you so euphoria, that it didn't occur to me that the boyfriend rules that Uncle Bill had made us enforce with Teddy, now applied to my best friend.
"I was right, they were wrong, I was right they were_ wait a minute. HEY, JORDAN, JORDAN, OPEN THIS DOOR! GET OFF MY COUSIN JORDAN! YOU MAY BE MY BEST MATE BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING! DOORS NEED TO BE OPEN! JORDAN ARE YOUR LISTENING TO ME? IT'S POLICY!"
The door still didn't open. I was about thirty seconds away from getting reinforcements. I pressed my ear to the door to see if I could hear anything when the world decided to, once again, be very, very cruel.
Rose chose that time to throw open her door, which sent me (the idiot leaned against it) flying down the stairs (AGAIN!).
I felt very woozy. It was nothing compared to last time though because there was the substantial absence of the fifty pound wooden trunk, but it was definitely not the best feeling in the world.
"I am OKAY." I said as I heard Rose and Jordan clamper down the steps. Thankfully they had untangled themselves from one and other. I was half expecting them to come to my rescue, Whilst continuing their little make out and ignore James spree.
Thoughts were beginning to return to my head, I was just about to yell at my Best friend for not following the rules that HE himself had once helped us enforce, when a distraction arrived.
"Oh my God James what happened!"
I looked up and smiled. Julie was here.
I was going to milk this for all it was worth.
"I fell." I said.
I heard Wood snort, but chose to ignore him.
"Are you okay?" Julie asked, rushing over to help me up.
"I am now." I said.
I distinctively saw her blush, but I'm not sure if it was in a good kind of embarrassment or a bad kind.
"Hey Julie, do you think you can handle him, we're going for a walk?" Wood asked.
"Yeah go!" she said.
"Julie, I was right!" I said as they left.
"Are they together now?" she asked.
" Well I caught them upstairs snogging each other to death so ... I'm gonna go with a yes."
"Aww" she cooed "That is so cute."
"Yeah, but the best part is ... I was right! Now I need to inform everyone."
"Because Wood is now on Boyfriend watch." I said.
She raised her eyebrows "What is Boyfriend watch?"
"It's nothing." I said, backing away so she couldn't change my mind "Just ... you know procedural stuff, the usual ... I'll see you later."
I found Fred, Grizz, and Corbin at one of the snack tables. They were throwing olives at Lawrence and hiding every time he turned around.
"What's up with you?" Fred asked "Did you and Julie snog?"
I jumped and looked around, making sure Julie hadn't followed me. "No" I said "me and Julie didn't snog ... yet."
Grizz rolled his eyes, and tossed another olive. He missed by about three centimeters.
"Then why do you look so happy?" he asked.
"Why shouldn't I be happy? The family is together, Teddy and Victiore are married, I just caught Wood and Rose snogging, the weather is simply smashing!"
I looked up and they were all staring at me.
"Uh ... what was that?" Corbin asked.
"The weather? It's nice, not to hot, not to cold .."
"No the one before that. "
"Oh you mean Wood and Rose snogging?" they nodded "Yeah about that... BOOYAHH! BOO_YAH! I told you didn't I? I told you they'd hook up, and I was right !"
They stared at me for a second.
"You're lying. " Fred said.
"I am not!"
"Come on James."
"You're just taking the piss."
I stared at him, he really didn't believe me.
"FINE!" I said, then I stormed away .
I told like ten people. I told Al and Hugo, Teddy, Victiore, Lawrence , Uncle George , Uncle Charlie , Mum.
And not one of them, not ONE, believed me.
They said they'd have to see for themselves.
HAH well they did. Wood and Rose came back for dinner holding hands. Everyone knows now.
It was a little weird at first. But it's not like we weren't expecting it. We may not have been expecting it today, but Wood and Rose were always kind of a given. Just like Teddy and Victiore. I just hope their relationship isn't as rocky as Mr. and Mrs. Lupin's was.
I have to give Wood a talk now. Explain the rules and such, he'll understand, he was there for the Teddy thing , but still it's gonna be really weird .
Wood looked really happy, so did Rose. More happy then I've seen either of them for them for a while. So I guess that's all that matters.
So I guess now you're wondering how my speech went.
You probably think I forgot about it until the middle of Matthew's speech. Well guess what ... you're right I did. BUT that didn't matter.
I tore it UP, I delivered the shit out of that speech. I had every person in that room crying , Even the creepy guy that works with dad and Uncle Ron, who probably hasn't shown emotion since he cried after his own birth, had a few tears welling in his freaky ass eyes.
Julie kissed me afterwards. On the cheek of course, but at least I now know that she doesn't find me revolting. The rest of the night was a blur of bad jokes, pretending to dance, and drinking behind our parents' backs.
Lawrence threw up all over Al.
Grizz hung Hugo from a tree.
Uncle Ron and Uncle George started lighting off fireworks, which went well until they decided that they would try to "improve the show". Uncle Ron grabbed a broom and a firework and flew like eighty feet in the air. He light the firework, dropped it and somehow the tree house ended up in flames. I'm not sure how it happened exactly, I just heard Aunt Hermione screaming. It was a late night.
Teddy and Victiore and most of the other guests left about midnight, the women started trickling back to the house after that. I made a point look away when Wood and Rose were saying goodbye. Not because it bothered me but because they thought I wasn't looking so it was their... enthusiasm? That bothered me. Anyway that's not a big deal. I'll get used to it eventually.
"Me and you gotta talk Wood." I said as he and the rest of the guys started walking back towards the tents.
"Yeah we're definitely gonna chat tomorrow." Hugo said.
"Are you guys serious about this whole boyfriend watch thing?" Wood asked.
Even Grizz nodded.
Wood shrugged " Oh well ... it's worth it."
I smiled despite myself and clapped him on the back "We're all really happy for you Jordan." I said.
"Yeah," Al said "if we didn't want you with her, we'd have killed you already."
"Sides that's one less we have to look after." Fred said "Now all that's left is Lily."
"Good luck with that." Grizz said.
We laughed. We were pretty much expecting Lily to start dating sometime within the next two years. And if you thought Rose was difficult with accepting our influence in her relationships, Lily will be beyond unbearable.
I jumped a little as I heard my name from behind me. It was Julie.
This was my last chance.
"I'll be in in a few guys." I said, glaring at them.
"Good luck James…" Fred said. Then they all started making kissing noises, like the obnoxious lot of ass holes they are, until Wood shoved them away.
"You're not staying?" I asked Julie, once the coast was clear.
"Nah, me and Nicole have to pack remember? We're spending the summer in Italy. We leave on Tuesday."
"Oh, yeah that's right."
"I wish I could stay though."
I looked at her. It was strange that a girl I had known for barely 48 hours could make me like her so much. She didn't feel like a stranger though, she never had. It was one of the weirdest feelings I've ever had. I knew right there, that I could have something real with her. I just had to tell her that.
"Look Julie I..."
Rejection, weirdness, awkwardness
"I...I... I'm really glad I met you."
She smiled and hugged me "I'm so glad I met you too James!" she said "We have to keep in touch."
She reached into her purse and grabbed her phone, and handed it to me.
"Put your number in it." she said, digging through her purse for something else. I did as she said, enormously embarrassing smile on my face the whole time. When I handed it back to her, she grabbed my hand.
"Put this in your phone as soon as you get to it." she said writing her number on my hand." Call me sometime this summer. "
"I will." I said.
She leaned forward and hugged me one more time "Bye James."
I sighed, "Bye Julie."
And the she left.
So yeah I chickened out.
Yes I am now a hypocrite.
And yes I probably did waste the best opportunity to ask her out.
I did get her number.
How do you like them apples!
Anyway, it's late.
I have had a very long, satisfying day.
I just want to say that , despite the fact that it's girly , and my family makes fun of me about it at least twice an hour now , I'm really glad I started this whole diary thing.
Mum was right, it helped a lot.
This year was rough but we did it.
We won the cup (even though it didn't feel like it ).
Rose and Wood are together and happy ( like I knew they would be ).
And I have a potential girlfriend that looks very promising.
All in all this year was alright.
Next year however, will be one hundred percent better.
Seventh year here I come.