A/N: Hi! Finally finished. Enjoy!
Stop Trying to Convince Me
I stared at my lap, wondering what the hell I was doing. I was supposed to be getting away from Sesshomaru, not running back to him. He was just another memory associated with Naraku that wouldn't go away, as much as I wanted it to. Maybe sticking around to toy with Ryokotsusei was a bad idea after all. If I was smart I would already be miles away from either of them.
How I hated to do it but I would just need to leave. I needed to get away before something awful happened. In some ways, I wanted to flaunt that I was with Ryokotsusei however, in some ways I didn't want to. Nor did I want to be seen as Ryokotsusei's prize. This was all too confusing.
I stood up, reaching for my feather. That was it. I was going to leave. I needed to get away from my past and this obviously wasn't working to that purpose. Sure, Ryokotsusei was a nice guy but he had more toy potential than lover material. I could find a toy anywhere. A toy that didn't drag me back to someone I ran away from. Maybe it was just I didn't want to see Sesshomaru get married, for some dumb reason.
"Are you ready yet?" Ryokotsusei called out. I pursed my lips but didn't answer. I was supposed to be getting ready, not deciding whether or not I should just flee. He opened the door after a few seconds. "Kagura?" His eyes went to my hand clutching the feather.
"Are you planning to go somewhere?" he asked, hurt that I wasn't sure if it was fake or not in his eyes. I stared at him for a second.
"Yeah, I think I am," I replied. He stared at me.
"Is this because of Sesshomaru?" he inquired, anger in his eyes.
"Is it any of your business?" I replied sourly. "And I'm taking the kimono," I began to walk out of the room. He caught my hand before I got very far.
"Just go to the wedding with me," he pleaded. I snorted.
"I'm not going to be a prize to make Sesshomaru jealous," I shot back. He shook his head.
"You don't have to be. If you want it to be, we won't even go as a couple," he tried to bargain.
"I just don't want to go. Get it through your head," I hissed. Ryokotsusei's lips tightened.
"If you don't come, your brother and Kagome are going to kill me. They ambushed my messenger when they heard that you were coming with me," he explained. I could only stare.
"So in that case, Sesshomaru is already expecting me to come?" I inquired. Ryokotsusei scoffed.
"I doubt it. Your brother was apparently in charge of sending out reservations. I doubt Sesshomaru would still let me go if he found out I went after you," he confided. I frowned. He was into convincing me it wasn't going to be just an effort to make Sesshomaru jealous but yet here he was delighted as he mentioned it.
"And why should I care if Kagome and Byakuya slaughter you?" I inquired. He grinned.
"Because I will tell them where you left to so they may find you and slaughter you next," he replied. I crossed my arms stubbornly.
"I'm not staying for the after party," I informed him. He smiled and held out his hand. I took it slowly. With any luck, Sesshomaru wouldn't recognize me in my present attire. If I looked any more princess-like, I would puke.
I sighed as we landed outside Sesshomaru's castle, still wishing that I had done the smart thing and ran. But in the worst case, I would be able to make light of the nobles with Byakuya. After all, if someone was stupid enough to marry Sesshomaru willingly, she would be enough to mock for an entire night. And if Byakuya wasn't enough to keep me entertained, there would certainly be enough alcohol at such a big party.
A line of nobles sat at the entrance of the castle, probably signing in or something. The nobles who had come to the fake marriage had done the same. But it was an entirely different thing having to wait in the line. It was so dull.
Byakuya sat at the table, signing in nobles. My heart lifted at seeing him. His gaze slid right past me then shot back. I could see mocking in his eyes. No doubt he was amused to see me look so fancy. When we signed in, he was on the edge of laughing. I glared at him balefully.
"If this turns out horrible, I'm going to kill you," I muttered under my breath at him. He went slightly pale before moving on to the next set of nobles. We barely took two steps into the castle when something struck my lower half, almost making me fall. Something wrapped around me, hugging me tightly, constricting my legs. Ryokotsusei glared at the little girl hugging my legs.
"Lady Kagura!" Rin bubbled. I could only stare at her. If she had recognized me like that, I stood no chance at Sesshomaru not recognizing me. She took my hand, pulling me away. Ryokotsusei's glare deepened as I let her tow me away. But the kid was cute enough that I didn't care in the least. That was, as long as she wasn't taking me to Sesshomaru.
Thankfully, she only dragged me to the back gardens before turning to me with an upset face on. My heart ached to see her so sad. It was no wonder why she was able to melt Sesshomaru's heart.
"What's wrong, Rin?" I inquired gently. She delayed in responding, playing with a flower instead. She didn't look at me when she responded.
"Rin misses Lady Kagura," she said. I bit my lip. This was the reason why I had left without saying good bye to the kid. I didn't want to deal with this. I couldn't think of something to say that would sound good. And I already knew that changing the subject wouldn't do any good with this kid. So instead, I crouched down, picking a flower to put into her hair. She smiled at me feebly.
"Lord Sesshomaru misses Lady Kagura, too," she told me. My mind was wiped blank. Happiness rose up but was crushed by resistance. But what could I say? 'I don't care' sounded rather harsh. But Rin continued nonetheless, putting her flower in my hair as well and fiddled with her kimono, brightening slowly.
"Will Lady Kagura help Rin get ready for Lord Sesshomaru's wedding?" she asked me, a hopeful smile on her face. There was no way I could say no to that face.
"Sure," I told her. She grinned, her happiness back. "Let's go," I rose to the ground, hoping I would avoid her sadness for now. Anything was better than dealing with that.
I pinned up a piece of Rin's hair uncertainly, hoping it would turn out alright. Why wasn't Yura doing the kid's hair instead of me? The hair slowly slid back down. I sighed. When she asked me to help her get ready I thought it consisted of helping her with her kimono or makeup not doing everything to help her prepare.
I pinned the hair up again and once again it fell down. I needed something better than just a pin. I needed some type of clip or something. It was just a pity that I couldn't use on of the flowers she liked so much to do it. Then an idea came to me, although it seemed horrible to me.
I reached into my possessions and slowly drew out Kanna's flower and used it to pin up Rin's hair. A wave of grief came over me but all I did was smile bitterly. With any luck, Rin would have a better life than its previous owner.
"Turn around," I ordered Rin. She turned and I began to examine my work. She looked good, although I was certain Yura would have done so much better than I. After all, I just knew how to put my hair into a bun and do basic makeup. But it would have to do. Rin was beaming.
"You look really pretty, Lady Kagura," she told me. I held back a scoff and stood up.
"I should be getting back to Ryokotsusei," I murmured. Her face automatically dropped.
"Rin wants to stay with you," she pleaded. I sighed.
"Sesshomaru is probably looking for you," I tried to reason. "You wouldn't want to worry him, would you?" Rin suddenly looked guilty.
"Rin lost Jaken when she started looking for you," she replied. "Lord Sesshomaru is too busy to look after her," I sighed.
"I'll help you find Jaken, then. Let's go," I ordered. She got up reluctantly and let me lead her out of the room.
"Okay," she said. I looked at her face as I dragged her out the door, feeling terrible, not caring at where I was going. That was until I bumped into someone who made Rin's face brighten. I turned to look at the person, my heart dropping. I had a pretty guess of who it was.
"Rin, what are you doing?" Sesshomaru questioned. My heart stopped beating at the sound of his voice. Did he recognize me? I looked at his face, feeling weird. Why the hell was he affecting me this way?
"Just getting ready, Lord Sesshomaru," Rin replied quietly. His gaze went to me. He seemed ready to disregard me when his eyes suddenly widened. But to my relief, he didn't seem mad. In fact, he seemed on the edge of saying something.
"Kagura," Ryokotsusei's voice suddenly echoed through the halls. Both of our gazes left each other to stare at him. Ryokotsusei acknowledged Sesshomaru with a nod before his gaze went directly to me. "There are some nobles who want to meet you," he informed me. I could feel Sesshomaru's sudden anger from where I was standing and already wanted to get away from it.
"Of course," I replied quickly and stepped to him, ready to walk away before Sesshomaru blew his metaphorical top. His gaze burned into my back as Ryokotsusei and I turned to leave. Then a hand was clutching my wrist tightly, claws almost breaking skin and I was being dragged backwards.
"This Sesshomaru wants to talk to you," the voice came from behind me, colder than an artic winter. Rin and Ryokotsusei could only watch as I was dragged into my doom.
I tried to keep my face composed as I dragged the witch behind me although I was seething with anger within. I would have thought she was wise enough not to fall for Ryokotsusei's foolish traps but it would seem that I had been incorrect. As for Ryokotsusei, the fool had taunted me for long enough. He was simply lucky that I was to busy to deal with him for now.
I could feel Kagura trying to pull out of my grasp but holding onto her was effortless. Any trouble she would have given me was brushed away in my annoyance. A part of me wished to dig poisonous claws into the witch's arm to stop her struggling but I didn't let myself succumb to it. I was being irrational but unable to prevent it.
I knew I was becoming weak again, by just seeing her. I had worked for months to hide my weakness away and yet it had surfaced so easily. It was beyond my understanding, as was the reason why I was dragging the witch away. There was no reason for me to care if Kagura was with Ryokotsusei so why was I? Irrationality must have been part of the weakness I had fallen into.
Fear and stubbornness filled Kagura's eyes as I shoved her into my chambers, sliding the door shut behind me. The resounding crash surprised even me, ringing in my sensitive ears ominously.
I saw the purpose in Kagura's eyes seconds before she spoke, saw how annoyed she was at me. I prepared my ears for her anger although I was certain it was nothing close to what I was feeling.
"What do you want, Sesshomaru?" she hissed at me. My eyes narrowed automatically as her impudence although I never thought that she would be so polite as to respect those higher than her.
"This Sesshomaru should be the one asking that," I replied as calmly as I could. "Why are you here, Kagura?" My tone grew cold at the end.
"As you often put it, it's none of your business," she told me sarcastically. My temper continued to grow. I knew that my face was anything but calm. I considered replying but to do so would be lowering to myself.
"Are you going to answer me or just glare at me!" Kagura snapped. My eyes narrowed along with my patience. Had I not already answered the witch's question? Was she going to make me repeat myself?
However, she seemed content that I was not replying for she suddenly went into a barrage of berating. "And why the hell am I not allowed to be here? You invited Ryokotsusei and said he could bring a guest and he invited me. You have absolutely no right to ask me why I'm here because in a way, you were the only who invited me. At least I'm not the one who…" she trailed off biting her lip, looking like she hadn't meant to even mention the last part. But yet her irritation had risen as she had continued.
Not the one who what? Was Kagura referring to the fact this Sesshomaru was getting married? She turned her head, looking away from me, one hand going to touch her back as she stared at her lap. Seconds later, she was looking at me again, this time with her fan in front of her face. Had the witch truly been on the edge of lecturing me because I was getting married? How could she even presume to do such a thing when she came with my rival?
"This Sesshomaru got the impression that you did not care for Ryokotsusei," I murmured. She stiffened oh so slightly.
"What do you mean by that?" she demanded, her eyes shaken.
"You were not very happy when he kissed you at the party," I replied irritably. Did she truly believe I had noticed anything between them earlier today?
"Whatever," she replied dryly. "So who's the poor demoness you convinced to marry you this time?" I took my time in replying. None of courting Kaori would have been necessary if I had never met the witch although eventually that might have occurred. In any case, it had been pleasant not to have to deal with any verbal spouts since a high lady, such as Kaori, would never do such a thing. It was only a pity that Kagura's parents had died before they could teach her such things.
"The high lady Kaori," I replied promptly. Amusement came to Kagura's face. I had gone down a step in my courting but there were no Lords of Lands presently with daughters so I had to settle with the daughter of a lord that was slightly lower than a Lord of the Lands.
"Thought so," she mocked. "Her family is probably only using her to gain more power. I honestly feel bad for her, having to deal with you for the rest of her life,"
"You would know about such things, wouldn't you?" I asked softly. Her gaze sharpened.
"Meaning?" she growled, daring me to respond. I thought about keeping the information I had dug up on her family hidden for an instant before I decided it wasn't worth it. She cut me off before I could use the information to drive her away. I would not allow my weakness to return and if that meant hurting her, then it would be. "Bankotsu would have never been let marry me so that's a completely different thing," she argued.
"This Sesshomaru is aware of that. A high lord would never let his daughter marry a lower lord," I replied. Her eyes widened.
"I don't see why that applies to me," she said quickly, much too quickly.
"This Sesshomaru already knows your family's rank," I informed her. She went the slightest bit pale, looking sad but angry at the same time. Then she stood up and began to walk out the room, emitting hatred.
"Ryokotsusei is probably wondering where I am," she told me before she swept out of the room. I could already smell her tears by the time the door slammed behind her. I ignored the sudden pain in my chest and strode out of the room, ready to complete my duty. Kagura was nowhere in sight.
I jumped into the cherry blossom tree onto my favorite branch, holding back the damn tears that threatened. How the hell had Sesshomaru found out anything about my past and to what reason? Did he live to annoy me or something? How dare he bring something that I had just buried for what I thought to be for good?
I sank into the branch with a sigh and tried to calm myself. Crying would do no good for anyone, not Kanna or anyone who had been killed thanks to Naraku. My past didn't mean anything at all to me. I was over and I would forget it. I had to. I closed my eyes, feeling much calmer as I let my anger slide away. None of it mattered.
I watched the tree branches swing gently in the breeze, letting them help me calm down. That was low, even for Sesshomaru to bring up my past like that. But I supposed it had only been a matter of time before he had discovered it. I couldn't help but wonder if Byakuya had told him, however. I shook my head. It didn't matter in the least.
I began to hear music floating from the hall. The wedding must have been starting. Ryokotsusei was probably wondering where I was. I didn't feel like moving. Sesshomaru obviously didn't want me there; else he wouldn't have tried to drive me away. In a way, I wanted to show up, just to make him even more furious with me by sticking with Ryokotsusei.
Byakuya's head appeared in the branches below me, rapidly climbing. I just watched him.
"Shouldn't you be watching the wedding or something?" I called down to him. I heard him sigh as he reached my branch and sat before me.
"Honestly, do you have to climb trees like this? Can't you be normal and hide somewhere on the ground?" he complained.
"You're avoiding my question?" I accused him. He grinned.
"Probably but it sounded much too boring. Yura is a bridesmaid and I'd rather not sit alone. I'll go when you do," he said firmly. I shook my head.
"Aw, did the frozen puppy not think you good enough to be one of his bridesmaids?" I mocked. He grimaced.
"I think it was more he lost anything to do with me when I brought your name up as a potential bride," he replied sourly. I pursed my lips.
"So you were the one who told him who my father was, weren't you?" I growled. He shrugged.
"I was trying to keep my promise to Kagome, although I doubt it will be completed now," he informed me. That was the second time he had mentioned that.
"What was the promise about?" I asked him. He stared at me guiltily.
"She wanted to get you and Sesshomaru together so that you would stay with him and everything. Apparently she thought you guys were a perfect couple. I never saw it but I told her I would help. But then again, Sesshomaru's face when I suggested he marry the High Lady Kagura was priceless," he grinned. I glared at him.
"Why would you do something like that?" I growled. Sesshomaru and I? What were the two of them playing at?
"Because you seemed to be happy around him," he replied boldly. I scoffed.
"I was just pretending to do so," I told him. His eyebrows rose, amusement in his eyes.
"Were you really? Did you ever notice how much less alcohol you drank at a party with him? And you let your hair down without any fuss in the least," he interjected. I stared at him.
"That had nothing to do with him," I told him.
"I'm sure," he replied. "If it doesn't matter to you at all, then lets go watch the wedding," he challenged. I stood up. He was being foolish. I had told him before; Sesshomaru meant nothing at all to me.
"Then lets go," I told him as I jumped out the tree. He climbed down after me, seeming skeptical but hurriedly walked into the wedding. I followed, expecting a beautiful wedding with all the trimmings. What I saw was a total disaster.
Sesshomaru stood at the altar, looking annoyed, facing who I recognized faintly as the High Lady Kaori. If it had been just that, it would have been completely normal. The thing that wasn't was Ryokotsusei was the one closest to Sesshomaru, while Kaori hugged him from behind. What the hell was going on? Both Ryokotsusei and Sesshomaru were in fighting positions, hate clear on their faces.
All heads jerked around to stare at Byakuya and myself as we entered. Both Ryokotsusei and Sesshomaru relaxed slightly. Ryokotsusei cleared his throat and stepped off the altar, telling Sesshomaru, "If I were you, I'd think about what I've said. I wouldn't be so hasty to rush into this wedding,"
Sesshomaru simply answered him with a glare. The Lady Kaori looked uncomfortable and rushed off the altar, grabbing my arm and dragging me away. I resisted for a moment before following her. I didn't want to be forcibly dragged away by yet another person today. My shoulder joints hurt enough already. Honestly, this whole thing was getting aggravating. What had Byakuya and I missed during our talk?
Ryokotsusei closed the doors behind us, locking all the wedding visitors in as I followed Kaori slowly. She led me into the little room next to Sesshomaru's. The design showed that she was the new resident of the room. She gestured for me to sit down before she sat down herself. I sat down so I was facing her.
"What's going on?" I demanded. She sighed.
"I wish I knew," she murmured. Then her face grew angry. "All I know is those two fools ruined my wedding! My father shall not be happy," I frowned.
"Why did you drag me away then?" I asked. She shook her head.
"I thought you might know what was going on. You were married to Sesshomaru, were you not?" she inquired.
"Yeah," I replied. "Why does it matter?" She stared at me in distress.
"When the priest asked if there was any reason we should not be married, Ryokotsusei stood up and started saying crazy things. He told Sesshomaru not to make a mistake because he didn't care for me in the least. And Sesshomaru didn't deny it, he just glared at him. I didn't even bother to listen to the rest, I was so upset. How can I be a mistake?" Kaori paused to fade off into tears.
I was only able to stare. Why did she think that I cared? I didn't even really know her that well and she was pouring her heart out to me? But I didn't want her as an enemy so I hugged her.
"Sesshomaru is better actor than he claims to be," I told her. "In my experience, he only cares for someone if it will help benefit him somehow," She sobbed into my shoulder.
"Then why has he had your brother try to find you constantly? How does that benefit anything?" she sobbed. I stared.
"He probably doesn't want me to tell his enemies of his weaknesses," I replied.
"I'm sure," she cried. "I think…" she was suddenly cut off as the door opened. Sesshomaru and Byakuya stood in the doorway. Byakuya was grinning while Sesshomaru's face was calm.
Kaori's face turned white at the sight of Sesshomaru. "What do you want?" she accused.
"This Sesshomaru does not wish to marry you," he replied. My heart froze as Kaori's tears stopped in shock.
"I don't want to marry you either," she said coldly. "Who would want to marry a cold bastard like you?" Without another word she strode out of the room. I froze before I started to follow her out. Byakuya caught my arm.
"You're not done quite yet," I looked between the both of them and laughed.
"What, did you fulfill your bargain with Kagome or something? I want my freedom and I'm already sick of everything today. Goodbye," I told him, wanting to run away as I jerked my arm out of his grasp. He watched me start to walk away, looking defeated. He muttered something to Sesshomaru, who was suddenly walking towards me.
"Kagura," he called after me in a demanding tone. My feet froze. "Rin misses you. Rather than running to Ryokotsusei, you should stay with this Sesshomaru,"
I turned to stare at him. "What?" I asked in surprise. Did he just ask me to stay? Hell must have frozen over.
"This Sesshomaru wants you to stay so Rin isn't sad," he repeated. I felt myself grin. Wasn't that always the excuse?
"Does Rin want me to stay or do you?" I asked. He didn't respond. "In that case, I'm leaving," I walked away, wondering if he was going to chase after me. Or rather admit that he was the one who missed me not Rin.
"This Sesshomaru does," he called after me. I turned into an icicle and turned around, arm crossing.
"If I stay, I'm not staying anywhere near you. And I'm not at your beck and call," I told him. Byakuya grinned. Sesshomaru's face didn't change.
"Very well," he responded. I felt myself smile. For a moment, I thought about still leaving. But then again, if I did so, I would be back to where I started. Now at least I had someone to annoy.
"Then I'll stay, for Rin," I told him.
"This Sesshomaru needs to go prepare chambers for you then," he said before he strode off. I turned to Byakuya with a frown.
"You're responsible for this, aren't you?" I asked.
"You should just thank me and get over it," Byakuya responded. I scowled at him.
"What if I didn't want this? Ever think about that between your and Kagome's plotting," I accused him. He acted hurt, sarcasm in his eyes.
"No one is stopping you from leaving. Besides, I have your best interests at heart, somewhere very deep," he joked. I held back a laugh. "But you know, Sesshomaru seems rather happy now,"
"I'm going to kill you and Kagome sometime soon," I informed him. Byakuya sighed.
"You'll have to kill Ryokotsusei, too. Everything was his plan," he replied. I could only stare.
"But he was just trying to make Sesshomaru jealous," I argued. Byakuya shook his head.
"He saw how you two were at his party and wanted to let his rival be happy," he replied.
"How noble of him," I slumped down against the wall. "I'm so tired," Byakuya shook his head.
A few months later
I stared at the sky with a smile, watching the flowers wave above me in the breeze. Sesshomaru sat next to me, watching Rin frolic in the meadow happily, expressionless. I sat up and used the wind to make his hair flutter in front of his face. He sent me an unreadable glance. I smiled and stood up, walking over to Rin.
"Let's give Sesshomaru some flowers," I whispered in her ear, while shooting a wicked smile at Sesshomaru. He didn't even have the decency to look scared. Rin laughed and began to pick flowers. I helped by holding them. Sesshomaru must have figured out our plan because he walked over and took the flowers out of my hands.
"If you wish to collect flowers, Rin, Jaken brought a basket," he informed us. I sighed.
"Do you always have to spoil my plans?" I asked him in annoyance. He sent me a half smile.
"When will you learn that you will never make a fool of this Sesshomaru?" he inquired. I smirked and put a flower in his hair, staring at it.
"I think a lily pad looks better in your hair. Let's try and find for him, Rin," I said. Rin smiled happily.
"That will not be necessary, Kagura," Sesshomaru informed me. I sighed and walked with Rin over to the river. Sesshomaru followed swiftly. I took out my fan, took Rin's hand and helped her skip over the river to my little island.
Sesshomaru watched from the riverbank. "What's wrong, you scared of a little water?" I mocked him. He didn't respond, just watched as Rin dipped her toes in the water. I sighed and sat down next to her.
"What a spoil sport, huh?" I told Rin. Sesshomaru seemed to think we weren't in any danger for he sat down along the bank and watched. I grinned when he turned away. "Maybe he needs a bath?" I whispered to Rin. She smiled and nodded wickedly. I grinned. It was so good to see how I was rubbing off on the kid.
I wave my fan slowly and let a wave of water crash down on Sesshomaru. He turned towards us at the last minute, to watch it hit him in sprinkling of rain. His expressionless face abruptly turned to what I recognized as annoyance. I smiled innocently and went back to staring at the water.
A few seconds later, water was suddenly dripped down on me in a torrent. My head jerked up in surprise to see him wringing out his hair on top of my head. My jaw dropped. What the hell was that? I scowled at him and dipped my toes in the water. He was going to pay for…later.
Sesshomaru sat down behind me. Or he could pay for it now. I turned around to look at him and kissed him. The way he froze up before returning it made me feel much better.
A/N: I don't know whether I'm happy or sad its over. And it is actually over this time. I hope everyone enjoyed my first story and I can't thank you guys enough for reading! Its all because of you that it turned out so great. And a big thank you to:
Kaze Tsukai No Kagura
Little Green Purse
The Fluffy Muffin Queen
Alucard Rulz A.K.A. Monica606
Lydia: (I hope it turned out okay. And I don't really understand why it really matters how long its going to take me to update 'cause it's the last chapter. But I guess it took me about two weeks.)
A.K.A everyone who reviewed! Hope everyone liked it enough to try my other stories, such as the one I just posted intitled Distrubing Ma'at. It had Kagura and Sess in Egypt! :P Thanks again!