Dusk Chapter 9
Hiya, everyone! I know, I suck, I haven't posted in a month (at least). But I have a legit excuse! My frequent use of surfthechannel decided to virusify my computer- but it's better. Some updates…. The movie for Dusk has been postponed, because obviously I haven't been able to finish the book quickly enough. Just until summer so I don't have homework.
Here is the Facebook group that you can join if you like the parody…. .?init=s%3Aclassmate%2Fcoworker&sf=r&sid=0&nm=dusk+twilight#?gid=58186066840&ref=ts
And it had recently come to my attention that in relation to the book, I'm on Chapter 9, and in Fricklight I'm on Chapter 3. Still. Gotta pick this up. This chapter is going to be waayyyy long, in a vain attempt to catch myself up…..
And now onto your feature presentation…
Ella returned home exhausted from her thoroughly unexhausting day, because basically, it had been Edvard doing all the work, not her. Ella and Ralph walked together up the porch stairs and Ralph pulled the door open for her. "Here, Ells…. How is your head?"
"And just so you know, Ella, I called your mother to tell her what happened."
Ella turned around in complete and utter disbelief. "Ralph! Why would I want my own mother to know that I was almost hit by a car and smushed into bits! What the frick where you thinking? It's not like we are really close or anything-"
"It's your mother Ella. The one who created you. She'd want to know if you almost got… run over."
"Never! After she left me here, and went prancing to the Bahamas with her boyfriend, she doesn't want me!"
"Ella. She went to Florida. With her boyfriend. Who plays football. You came here, and chose to stay here."
Ella stomped loudly up the stairs, shaking the slight frame of the house. When safely upstairs, she pulled a pillow over her head and fell to sleep- where she dreamed of none other than Edvard.
Edvard ran gracefully ahead of her, sparkling like a fairy. Light radiated off his porcelain skin like diamonds had been embedded in his skin as some new sort of fashion trend. All of a sudden, Edvard turned around, stopped sparkling and morphed into something that looked extremely close to that brunette haired guy from Buffy the Vampire Slayer…. What was his name? Seraph? Cherub? Angel. That was it. Edvard/Angel completely vamped out, then dove at Ella and sucked all of the blood out of her body.
Ella sat up in bed, sweating profusely. "That was so… chilling," she said, her voice shaking. "Edvard sparkled like a fairy… It was like the sparkles were the devil. And he turned into a vampire. That must symbolize something. He can't be a vampire- that would be too easy. Plus that Stokey guy said vampires can't go outside during the day, and if Edvard was a vampire, that would go against Drackey? Draella? Dracukula? Dracula, and everything Dracula has stood for."
Ella pondered for three more minutes, which then sent her tiny brain onto overload and eventually fell back to sleep.
One month later
Ella was still extremely popular, having become infamous for her almost death by slowly swerving car. She got to school at the same time she did every morning, yet as soon as she got there, Jess immediately ran over.
"Um, I was just wondering, are you going to go to the Sadie Hawkins Dance?"
"I don't think so. And Jess, I'm sorry, I don't want to go with you. I'm straight."
Jess stared at her for a couple seconds surprised, then shrugged. "Ok. So I was wondering if it was okay if I asked Mick to the dance."
"Sure. I give you permission," Ella said grandly, patting Jess on her shoulder. "You have been a good minion, you deserve some time off."
The first two periods passed normally enough, but when Ella got to Biology, she could tell something was off. Well, apart from the fact that Edvard STILL would not look her way or speak to her. Mick was unusually quiet, which was very unlike his inability to shut up. Ella merely noticed because people were paying less attention to her today.
All of a sudden, Mick called her name. "Ella? I have a question for you."
"Well, you see, Jess asked me to the Sadie Hawkins, and I was wondering if you were going to be going…"
"Oh, no. Dances are far beneath me. I'm just too amazing to lower myself and dance with the lowly people of the school."
"Well, I'm glad we covered that."
"Mick, you should say yes to Jess. Because yes and Jess rhyme... That has to mean something doesn't it?"
Mick raised his blonde eyebrows in sarcastic disbelief. "Seriously?"
"Yes to Jess, yes to Jess, YES TO JESS!"
"Ok, ok, calm down!" Mick attempted to cover Ella's loud mouth, but it was Edvard's cold black abysses of death that held back her final shriek. Mick turned away as soon as he saw Ella begin to drool.
"I wouldn't yell that if I were you."
"Ok, master, whatever you say."
Both of them sat there for a few more minutes and then finally Ella spoke. "So why have you been blowing me off the last month?"
"It's better if we aren't friends."
"But why?" Ella whined. "I like you!!!"
Edvard looked Ella directly in the eyes and responded, "Because I want to eat you."
"Okay, Edvard, I believe we have gotten ahead of ourselves on this subject. I did not say I wanted any of….. that. I just wanted to be friends. And second off, our mouths are on our heads for a reason!!!!!"
Surprise passed over Edvard's face as he took in exactly what Ella had told him. "Uhhh… NOT what I meant. Like eat, like food, like zombies, werewolves, and such." (FORESHADOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
"Oh. Ok." Abruptly, the bell rang and Ella hurried out to her ancient car but first she was berated by Erik.
"Hi Ella!" he said excitedly. "How are you on this fine day?"
"Fine. I gotta go."
"Well, it'll be quick. I was just wondering if you had anyone to go to the dance with?"
"It's a Sadie Hawkins, isn't it? That means I ask. Bye." Shoving the key in the lock of her car, then jiggling it, Ella's eyes met Edvard's, who smiled. Trying to maintain her cool, Ella began backing out, but Edvard swerved his car in front of her then put it into park.
"What are you doing, you douchebag????" Ella shrieked.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the window. Ella rolled it down then greeted Kevlar.
"Hi, Ella, so there is a dance next week and –"
Kevlar stepped slowly away from the car in disbelief as Ella swerved around Edvard's car on two wheels, which may seem extremely impossible with such an old car but is in fact possible, and squealed all the way home.
"Ugh," Ella said, then turned to her only solace: music with meaningful lyrics. "Kissed a Girl" began to blare out of her speakers and Ella began to sing along, really feeling a deep connection between Katy Perry and herself.
The loud ringing of her home phone startled Ella. She had a home phone because she is far too amazing to have to get a cell phone for easy contact and therefore make it harder for her friends to call her and worship her. "Hellll-o?" her grating voice asked.
"ELLA! Mick said yes!"
"Why aren't you saying anything?"
"Was I supposed to say something?"
"Well, when something good happens to one of your friends, one usually reacts happily for them."
"Oh. Ok. Woo."
Ella could almost her Jess roll her eyes over the phone. "Well, thanks for the enthusiasm attempt."
"If you and Mick got together, you know what would be a great idea?"
"That Angel ask Erik and Laurie ask Kevlar?"
Her mouth swung open in shock. "That's what I was going to say."
"Hmm… well in order to make the readers think that you are really intelligent and this didn't just work out perfectly like it was set up before hand in someone's illogical fantasy that would never work, how about we let you take credit for this brilliant idea."
Ella hung up. Ugh, a dance, she thought, disgusted. So glad I have something else to do. Wait- I don't. Then the idea hit her: Port York. She could go there and shop for some more classic romance novels that Ella will repeatedly refer to later. She looked down at the copies of Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, and Plum Lovin', realizing she didn't have the latest book from Stephenie Meyer, Breaking Crap Dawn and The Vain Attempt and Failure at a SciFi Novel Host.
Recognizing the need for those two books, and seeing as the town of Sporks couldn't have a bookstore containing such advanced and mentally provocative pieces of….literature, to state it lightly, Ella hurried downstairs to tell Ralph of her trip to Port York all on her lonesome.
"Ralph! I'm going to Port York on Saturday for some books."
"What about ga-"
"What about safet-"
"Covered. Haven't you seen me throw a punch?" To demonstrate her fighting prowess, Ella immediately crouched so it looked like she was sitting on a toilet and very slowly swung her fist forward.
"What is that supposed to be?" Ralph asked, confusion evident all over his kind face.
"A punch. Duh. That guy is totally knocked out cold right now."
Ralph cocked his eyebrow crooked at her and asked "Well, what about that dance? Come on!"
"I don't dance."
"I know you can."
"Not a chance."
"If I could do this, well, then you can do that."
"But I don't dance."
Ella and Ralph then continued by breaking out into a choreographed dance together complete with baseball bats and High School Musical jerseys.
When they completed the dance, Ella ran away from her father and up stairs, even though she had trouble getting over the first five. She then proceeded to curl up in a ball and sleep, unaware of the sparkling, lurking presence in the corner of her room.
The next morning
"Hey, Ella," Edvard said seductively when she got out of the car. "How art thou this fine morning?"
"I'm fine, freaky English guy."
"Ok, well, I just wanted to confess my undying love for the smell of your blood, wait sorry that came out wrong. I wanted to confess that I pulled my car out in front of you so that Kevlar could ask you to the dance."
'Really? You are so weird."
"So. Do you need a ride to Port York the night of the dance?"
"How do you know about that?"
"Someone…. Uh… mentioned it earlier. Plus, I doubt that dinky POS could make it anywhere."
"O.M.G. Did you just diss my piece of crap car? I'm so offended. And no, you cannot drive me to Port York. I'll go myself, and I'll forget to bring peppers pray, so follow me to make sure I don't get attacked."
"Got it," Edvard replied.
They then parted and walked their separate ways to class… That was, until lunch.
"Hey, Ella," Edvard said, once again using his scarily enticing pick-up line. "Wanna sit with me?"
"Sure!" Ella immediately dropped her plate of food on the table and ironically, the apple bounced up and hit Edvard in the face.
"Sorry. Get over it."
"Well, Ella, I decided to invite you over today to sit with me so I can totally contradict everything I previously said- except for the eating part. We should be friends. Maybe even more. With benefits."
The rest of the lunch period was taken up with inane conversation that basically helps the reader, you, recognize how totally, utterly, perfect they are for each other. And since we just cleared that up, we will move on.
The loud clanging bell for the end of lunch barely drew Ella away from Edvard's deep orange, originally black, pits of sorrow. "I'm gonna skip class," Edvard announced. "Peace."
"Bye……" Ella's voice trailed off like the way a young girl with her first crush sounds after truly speaking to him for the first time. Oh wait, that was.
Ella dazedly walked to Biology, tripping several times on blades of grass, but her head was in a fog over Edvard, so she didn't notice. That was until Mr. calendar began pricking finger with knives in Biology.
A rushing noise filled her ears as she watched the tiny drip of blood from Angel's finger 7 seats away slowly swell and bubble over the top of the cut. Her head slumped forward in her seat and Ella passed out, only to be immediately awakened by the fact that when she fainted her head hit her desk.
Mr. Calendar rolled his eyes and summoned Mick. "Take her to the nurse."
Mick sprinted over to help his queen and they walked arms draped over each other until Ella fainted again. This time when she awoke, it was Edvard standing over her.
"Ella? Are you okay?"
"Your breath smells like chocolate cherries," she replied.
"Ok, Mick, I'll carry her to the office." Swinging Ella up into his arms, Edvard walked towards the nurses office, arms out, keeping Ella as far away from himself as possible. When they got inside, Ella laid down for two seconds, was fine, and then got sent home by the nurse, and Edvard, being the forceful and possessive chivalric hero in the story, refused to let her drive home, and took her in his SHINY SILVER VOLVO back to her house.
While they were driving in the car, Edvard began to crank some of his music-Soulja Boy, the same exact song Ella had been singing along to on the way to school that morning.
When back at Ella's house, Edvard let her out of the car and smiled with his sparkling teeth. "be careful," he reminded her. "Alice will drop your car off later. You won't hear it because for some reason, when people from the Cullen family drive loud noisy cars, they are no longer loud and noisy."
"Sounds good. Bye, and thanks."
"Bye. I still want to eat you."
I hope you guys enjoyed that, it was a beast to write. And now I'm on ch9 and I just did half of 5. Ugh. Ok, and I hope everyone noticed that HSM reference I made with the whole I don't dance thing.. bbaaaddd movie- well, better, compared to Fricklight.