Mobius Mercury News Thursday,

July 13, 2009

By the Associated Press

32 people were killed yesterday in a bizarre, mass murder spree yesterday. The crime sounds straight out of a mystery book, but sadly, it is all too real.

Sonic the Hedgehog and an unidentified second person of interest entered the Terra Nova laboratory at 3223 Crawford around 3:45 PM and disguised himself as a lab worker after killing a security guard and another worker. Both names are unreleased.

While the second person left the building at 3:50, Sonic continued the rampage, murdering 5 more workers before moving up the elevator and confronting Terra Nova CEO Jerome Ariza. At approximately 4:15 PM, Ariza was murdered brutally, literally torn apart as if by some super strength. Sonic then continued to move down the building, killing more, and injuring 17 workers, literally with no remorse for men, women, or children. One body of a 6-year old was found; Apparently, his mother had taken him to work as a birthday gift.

Sonic the Hedgehog continued to murder, until he was finally apprehended by police. At around 9:30 PM, Sonic died in custody of an unknown disease.

The tragic situation took a strange turn after investigators found files containing information of a "super-soldier" virus allegedly increasing speed, strength, agility, and more. While originally deducing that the crimes were coincidencial, the death of Sonic later that day from an unidentifiable disease, and more information of a contract killing of Sally Acorn- who had asked for 7 vials containing the virus to give to Sonic and other Freedom Fighters- as found in an e-mail, caused the investigation to be turned on it's side.

"We really don't even know what happened here," Explained police chief Wesley Jean-Francois. "This definitely is some kind of elaborate situation here, and we can't tell you for sure what happened because this case is potentially a firestarter to even something greater."

More information has not been released, as the police has been of now tight-lipped around the conspiracy.