"I've saved more people in five months than we do in a year." Dean's eyes stung. There were few things in his life that Dean had been proud of. One of them was that he was able to save innocent lives from the supernatural, and here he finds out that his brother, in addition to being smarter, is also better at hunting demons and saving the innocent lives that were forced to host them. Not to mention that a demon was better at it.
Since returning from the dead, it had become a struggle to fit back into his old life. It was like he was two sizes too small for his clothes and everything that he had once fit into was too big, bigger than they had been when he left, and he felt like a child trying to wear his daddy's clothes. Sam was bigger, the hunt was bigger, and everything was bigger than he remembered.
Sam's words just confirmed everything he felt. He didn't belong here anymore. He didn't know where he fit in the world. Once, not too long ago, he fit in with his brother. They were two sides of a coin. Sam had replaced the other side of the coin. Sam was stronger than he was, he had been right, when Sam had died at Cold Oak, he simply shut down and made a deal to make sure his brother would live. Sam said that he had done everything he knew how, but Dean didn't believe him anymore. If Sam could lie about something this big than something as inconsequential as his attempts at recovering Dean's lost soul could easily be fabricated.
"Well then you guys go ahead and keep doing that." Dean said, voice thick with emotion, and gruff with sadness.
"Dean. I didn't mean it…"
"You meant it. That's fine Sam. I thought when I came back that I needed to be with you." Dean stopped packing for a second and laughed bitterly. "No, actually I thought that you needed me. Wow. I was so wrong there."
"You can let go of the charade now Sam. It isn't benefiting anyone anymore. I get it. I shouldn't have tried to force myself back into your life. I left you and I shouldn't have expected to be able to just force my way back into your life. You and Ruby go right ahead and save as many people as you can. I will only slow you down. Cass should never have saved me. Should have just left me there. My life was over. Not worth the trouble." He said and finished packing his duffel and started towards the door.
"Dean, wait, no." Dean shut the door behind him. Sam was frozen to the spot, his heart hammered in his chest, tears tumbled down his face. So, this was what it felt like to be left.
"Looks like we're free to do what we want Sammy." Sam startled, turned and found Ruby in the corner of the room, leaning against the wall, arms crossed over her chest, Sam could have sworn he saw a glint of glee in her eye.