A/N: Hello again! I thought I'd have a go at writing a proper story instead of my usual one-shots so, here ya go, in the format of an eventual Yuffintine fic.
Vincent has a hangover
Have I ever mentioned how irritating Wutains can be? No, not Wutains…ninjas…no wait…Yuffie. Just Yuffie.
She is definitely the worst person anyone ever wants to find looming over them on a Monday morning, hangover or not.
I did not have a hangover.
She bounded into my apartment like bambi on roller skates or some other frolicking creature, to ruin to quiet and solitude of my dank pit.
Honest and truly, I do not usually jump at meagre things but her unexpected appearance put the fear of death through me and that does not happen often. I sat up quickly and bruised my forehead against the desk I lay under. Ow!
Please tell me she hadn't brought a phone with her.
I was not lying under the desk because I had a hangover. I did not have a hangover.
"Stars of Ifrit!" she screamed and ran into the house leaving the door wide open. Fantastic. "Open the curtains quickly!"
"Why?" I muttered.
"We need light for a happy home," She announced with an annoying smile and danced across the room to open them. Oh Shiva how my eyes hurt. I had only had two Gysahls last night, so I hadn't been drunk. I don't drink.
I stood up and closed them again.
"How did you find me?" I asked intending the words far more insulting than she took them.
"I just looked for somewhere no-one would ever want to be," she chirped in a sing-song voice. I tried not to laugh. I'd chosen this dank hell-hole for similar reasons, plus I liked the wallpaper in the bathroom. It had naked mermaids on it.
"Okay, the point."
"I came here to invite you to Tifa's bar- you're coming- yes you are, don't argue and I'm bringing CAKE!"
Why cake, why Tifa's and why me?
"Yup, for Cloud's birthday, he doesn't care if you don't have anything, he just wants you there, Yay!"
I seriously nearly laughed then didn't. It wasn't funny, that's why.
"Nice try, Yuffie, but I'm not going."
I tried to be patient she was barely a child after all.
"Yes you are, I can't believe Cloud's twenty-nine…he's practically ancient!"
Oh how grand.
"Okay, I'm now," the hyperactive ninja announced, "And to make sure you follow…I have Cerberus ne ne!"
She ran around the couch, I followed at walking pace, if I ran I would throw up the two Gysahls and five bloody marys I'd destroyed last night.
"Yuffie, that's not a toy!"
She ran out of the door, I had no choice but to follow but then I heard her faint voice from the stairs.
"PUT SOME TROUSERS ON BEFORE YOU FOLLOW ME VINNY-CHAN!"
I clutched at my aching forehead and sighed. There were worse things than social interaction, I decided, like going out on Sunday nights and getting so out of it you wake up naked on the doorstep of your flat and having on to drag yourself up to your floor, break the lock on your door because you lost the key and retch into the toilet for an hour. Then, theoretically speaking of course, it could be made worse by finding no clean clothes and only old underpants to struggle into and passing out with a thump onto the floor. Not that such a thing happened to me last night because I don't have a hangover and I don't drink.
Where are my trousers? Oh…right…they're not in the tree directly out of the window I'm getting eye cancer from looking out. Why is Yuffie outside waving a gun around and why hasn't she been run over yet? Am I still a little drunk? No, I'm not because I didn't drink last night because it wasn't Lucrecia's birthday yesterday.
Hey! That's my gun Yuffie's holding!
I ran out of the apartment after her, forgetting I was only wearing underpants. At the time I clearly wasn't on the planet. In hindsight, I hate Wutain ninjas who eat too much sugar.
I knew it would be a perfect day when I saw a pair of trousers hanging on the tree outside Vincent's house. It was hilarious.
Tifa gave me the address. To Vincent's of course, not the tree, but the tree was outside the house so maybe there was a connection.
I took the lift because it was working which is always good when you don't want to scuff your shoes. Hee hee, I love my new converse, they're like my yellow ones but they're green so they're not.
Okay, so, at the top I walked right into Vincent's apartment because it was unlocked. I tried to be as quiet as possible because I am a ninja and ninjas are always secretive and illusive.
I almost screamed when I saw a quick movement under the table. I thought it was a monster who'd eaten Vincent in the night and thrown Vinny's trousers in a tree. Come to think of it…hey! They were Vinny's trousers AND THAT MONSTER WAS VINCENT! And he's nearly naked! Talk about weird…
The Vincent monster sat up and bashed his head against the table. I swear, it was twice as funny as the trousers in the tree. Wait a minute…he threw his trousers away then bumped his head? Shouldn't it be the other way around?
So, deciding it might be dangerous to let him play with his gun in such a state, I snatched it with my quiet ninja skills from the table top and pocketed it. Hmm…there was materia next to it…that could be VERY dangerous, I'll just hide that too.
Then I noticed the curtains were closed. No wonder Vincent was still sleeping, there was no natural light to tell him it was one in the afternoon.
"Oh, Open the curtains," I thought aloud and tiptoed over to open them myself.
Vincent can be so dumb sometimes.
"It makes a house happy, Doi!" Sunlight always makes a good day and rain doesn't and it wasn't raining. Was he drunk or something?
Vincent stood up and walked over to shut them again, well that was a waste of effort. Then I told him about the Tifa's plans for Cloud's birthday.
Ooh!! He's so annoying! He said no! He can't say no! I invited him. The great ninja Yuffie!
So I ran out of the door, flailing his gun around hoping he'd take the hint, put on some trousers and follow.
He also needs new neighbours; the ones that he has right now are too shy and locked their doors when I ran past.
When I got out of the building after running madly down the stairs Vincent was doing nothing but staring out of the window like a drunken retard.
Fine, I'll trek back up stairs, but because of that I'm keeping that proto-materia.