Authors Note: HEEEEYY GUYS! It's certainly been a while since I last update, but I can assure you that I'm back, and I'm ready to wow you with my crappy story skills, haha!
Now that I've finished school forever, I have time to keep you up to date, that it until I get myself a job.
I hope you like what I have for you. Remember – READ and REVIEW!

Blondie

Emmett had an unfortunate incident with a Penguin earlier in the day. I'm not sure who was more frightened, Emmett of the Penguin. I mean, who just jumps out at someone like a lizard waiting to attack a fly? That's just a bit extream.

Comments:
I thought you weren't going to say anything! Dammit Rose, why do you always have to embarrass me like this! Waaaaahhh!
Emmett Cullen

Rose, why are you married to this guy again?
Alice Cullen

Good question Alice, good question.
Rosalie Cullen / Hale

BECAUSE I HAVE A BIG ANACONDA! Heheh *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*
Emmett Cullen

...
Rosalice Cullen / Hale

Thoughts of a Practical Joker

GUYS! Guess what? Rosalie thinks that my anaconda is the size of the peremiter of the earth! Ohh yeah, we're going to have LOTS of fun in bed tonight, ehehe.

Comments:

Sweet baby Jesus, I cannot deal with this anymore
Rosalie Cullen / Hale