Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight or the characters in Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does. All I do is mess with them.

Meadow Day;

Edward is in the sun, glittering. Bella is beside him, awestruck by his glittering.

'And this happens every time that you're in the sun?'

'Of course Bella. This is why my family and I go 'hiking' on sunny days.'

'What do you actually do on sunny days?'

Edward looks deep into Bella's eyes.

'Well, I used to write songs on the piano; about trees, and sucking the life juices out of writhing fauna. Now, though, I write songs about you.'

Bella giggles while Edward continues,

'Carlisle hunts some of the time, but usually he is pursuing his secret passion.'

Edward pauses dramatically. After about five minutes of dramatic pause Bella gets annoyed;

'Which is…?'

'He quilts. Not very well. And he boats. He made his first boat himself. Out of quilts.'

'How did that go?'

'It sank. Actually, it is probably still there, at the bottom of the ocean off the coast of Italy.'

'And what do the others do?'

'Well, Alice goes out of town and shops. Jasper just hunts, Esme cleans, like always, and Emmett and Rose…well… Lets keep this outing PG.'

'So that's what you do while I am stuck at school on sunny days?'

Edward nods,

'Sure is, otherwise everyone would notice our glittering faces.'

'Wait, what?'

'Our glittering faces.'

'Are you serious? They glitter?'

'Yes, I thought you knew that by now.'

Bella shuffles away from Edward a bit.

'Edward, that is disgusting.'

'What, why?'

'Glittering faeces, Edward.'


'I cant believe that you told me that. GLITTERING FAECES?!'

'No, Bella. Faces.'

Bella looks outrages at this.

'You crap FACES? What are you?'

'A vampire…? No Bella. I don't have glittering faeces, and I don't crap faces. But my face glitters in the sun.'

Enlightenment dawns in Bella's eyes.

'Oh. Well... YOUR FACE!'

Bella runs into the forest crying.

How did this story come about? My sister was thinking of names for a new fan fic. She wrote glittering angels. I said faces would be better. She wrote it down to see how it would look. Then I said 'Hey, faces looks like faeces.'

Hence, this story was born. I would like to say that I was high on chocolate of coffee, but, truth be told, I was high on digestive biscuits. My mum bought some, and I thought they looked tasty. Needless to say they werent, but they were highly addictive. I ate about 4 or 5 and got high on them. So sad... anyway, I would like to dedicate this story to my friend Shona, whose randomness would have inspired this story had my sister not sparked my own first. BTW, read my sisters stories ( or is it story? I forget) her username is frangipani14.

Thanks, please Review, Ocicat