Bill Weasley mumbled something incoherent in his slumber.
He was extremely exhausted. His team of Curse-Breakers had travelled extensively through the hidden chambers of Tutankhamen's tomb, having to avoid many muggle tourists and archaeologists.
The wards were very tricky to crack, requiring the utmost concentration and greatest amounts of magical power. It took the entire team's combined magical strength to break open the wards, and then there were still the booby traps to deal with…
Several wizards had been injured by poison darts. Being beyond the abilities of the medi-witches in Egypt, they had been evacuated to St. Mungo's back in England.
Needless to say, as soon as he returned home he fell asleep straight away.
His wife Fleur wasn't here of course, as his arrival was under extenuating circumstances. She was probably visiting his family, or dining with friends, or doing such social things. Even with the war on, Fleur was quite confident in her ability to defend herself and would not let it influence her life.
He grumbled again and gasped as a bucket of cold water was poured over him.
"Rise and shine, Billy-boy," a sing-song voice said.
Bill was about to give this person a sharp retort as he opened his eyes, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was a gasp of shock.
The man was dressed in a dark purple jacket and pants with a green vest that had splashes of blood over it. His tie and shirt underneath were also purple, but his shirt was a considerably lighter purple, and black gloves and shoes.
The Weasley looked on in revulsion at his face, but he frowned as he noticed a faint, lightning-bolt scar underneath the fading, cracked clown makeup. "No…Harry?"
"Actually, it's Joker now, Billy-boy," the wizard said with a dark grin. "You saw my scar? I've got plenty of scars now!" he exclaimed suddenly, like a child in a chocolate shop. He pointed to gruesome ones carved into his cheeks which seemed to curve upwards like a smile. "You want to know how I got these particular scars?"
"But Dumbledore told us all you were dead!" Bill yelled out, now fully awake as he stood up, grabbing his wand off the table.
Joker growled under his breath – he didn't like being interrupted, before his slight look of anger resided into his usual look of dark amusement, a maniacal glint in his dull green eyes, accentuated by the messy black makeup around them. "I believe that what doesn't kill you will only make you…stranger…" he gave off a high-pitched, but definitely disturbing, laugh, before beginning to muse briefly. "But then again, I suppose I was 'dead'." He gave off another deranged laugh. "It was quite liberating – you should think of it as…uh…therapy!"
"Harry, listen!" Bill urged.
"I said it was Joker, Billy," the Joker said, a menacing tone in his voice as he stepped forward.
It was then that Bill truly saw how twisted Harry – no, the Joker's – face really was.
His long, wild hair fell down to his neck and was dyed a shocking green. Over his mouth, it seemed that red paint had been hastily sprayed over his face, and it truly did highlight his horrific scars…
The Joker took him by the shoulder, taking him for a small walk through his house. "You see, Billy, I'm confronted by a small problem – what does a man of my calibre do…" Bill briefly snorted at this, "If I find my wife cheating on me while I'm away?"
He shrugged. "Confront them?"
The Joker gave him another one of those sadistic grins. "Ah, Billy, we're thinking along the same page, but you have to be a little more specific. How do we 'confront' our cheating wives? Do we forgive them?"
"Um…I suppose," Bill offered weakly.
"WRONG!" The Joker growled viciously. "Did you not, at the day of your marriage, make a holy vow? 'Till death do us part', blah, blah, blah?" he waved wildly with his other hand, emphasizing his point. "Therefore, they've committed a crime…" he gave off a strange twitch at this. "Against you, and magic, and whatever deity you swore to! No, no, no, Billy, you don't forgive…" he smirked. "You punish them."
The Joker pulled up a Joker playing card and kept smirking as he activated the Portkey.
Bill gave off a scream of shock as the two of them reappeared, in a bedroom.
As he regained his bearings and looked around, he saw something that he never thought he'd see. "Fleur?"
Fleur Delacour Weasley, in bed, with Roger Davies, the famous Auror who caught many dark wizards in the war – both had looks of shock on their face.
"It's not like it seems, Bill!" the veela cried immediately as she attempted to cover herself with the sheets. Her grasp on English had improved vastly, but her French accent was unmistakable – it was her.
"Is that so, darling?" The Joker said as he walked over, beginning to stroke her cheek with a gloved hand. The others in the room were too shocked and dazed to notice it, although Fleur paled at the touch. "Does it seem surprising, that a young, pretty wife, alone, and by herself as her husband is away, seeks…adventure?" he questioned in a soft tone. "Should you forgive her, Billy-boy?"
Looking at the desperate face of his wife, Bill answered in an unsure voice. "Y-Yes…"
"NO!" The Joker growled, storming up to him and grabbing him by the neck, pulling him up into the air with one hand. "Your WIFE cheated on you with another man, and that's how you respond?"
Bill was gasping for air but the Joker loosened his grip and lowered him down. "It seems you're too wimpy to do what's really necessary here…and I thought Weasleys were the brave family," he added as an afterthought.
The reaction was instantaneous – just like the Joker had intended. "My family ARE BRAVE!" Bill snarled.
The Joker grinned. "Is that so? See, this woman here, this tramp, this whore…" he pointed to Fleur, who could do nothing as she was afraid of appearing naked in front of them, "Has defiled the Weasley name, has she not? She betrayed your trust, and your family's, and you're going to forgive her?" he said the last part in a disbelieving tone.
Seeing that Bill was slowly swaying, he leant in and whispered conspiratorially into his ear: "You see, I know a lot about girls. I know plenty about her type. She's a veela, you know that don't you? And while you grow old, she'll stay beautiful and ensnaring to all her admirers…"
Bill started hissing at this angrily.
"And besides, what does a Curse-Breaker have against a Dark Wizard Catcher?" The Joker pressed. "She's finished with you, Billy-boy…she's looking for her next catch. Just another prostitute on the road…"
After he had finished and stepped back, Bill looked just about ready to strangle his wife, all love for her diminishing.
"And let's not forget, the unsuspecting victim!" The Joker announced sarcastically, reaching across the bedside table and picking up Fleur's engagement ring. "You knew that Fleur was Billy's wife, didn't you?" the Joker accused.
Roger couldn't deny it – he opened his mouth as if to say something, and then closed it again.
"And so the two lovers, stand before the judges," Joker walked across to Bill again. "What shall we do now? Shall we torture them? Castrate Roger's manhood? Slash off your pretty cheating tramp's…assets?"
The Joker sighed as he glanced at his watch. "Oops! Look at the time – I guess we have to make this quick." He pulled out a silver revolver from his jacket, unloading it and emptying out the bullets, and putting one back in before closing the revolver with a snap. "I assume you know all about how muggles kill." He handed the weapon to Bill, and then stepped back. "Let's do a little…social experiment. One bullet in the revolver – who do you hate the most? Who do you want to kill?" the Joker licked his lips and twitched slightly again.
Bill looked at the weapon, and then at the two victims.
"Who do you choose? Your cheating wife's man, or the cheating tramp herself?" The Joker questioned, before standing beside the bed. "And of course let's not mention me. You could kill me, as well, and assume these two were doing something perfectly normal naked, and in bed!" he cackled maniacally at his own joke, before muttering, "Well, that was pretty bad."
Bill looked between each of the three, and looked down at his weapon, hesitating.
"Bill!" Fleur cried. "Please, don't kill either of us! Kill this…this…maniac!"
"Oh, I'm not a maniac, my dear," the Joker said soothingly. "I suppose you could say I'm a little…schizophrenic."
"I still love you, Bill!" Fleur continued.
As Bill looked conflicted, the Joker decided to have his own say. "Just remember the Weasley family, Bill. Remember that they will carry the shame also!"
Bill growled, and pulled the trigger.
There was a noisy bang as Fleur fell dead, a hole between her eyes.
Joker started laughing, and clapping. "Wonderful shot, Billy! Really, one in a million! I couldn't have done it better myself!"
"You…you listened to this psychopath over your own wife?!" Roger growled.
The Joker pondered this. "Well, I am technically a psychopath, but I prefer to be called a…homicidal artist – I make art till people die!"
Bill pulled out his wand, attempting to mask the shock, the horror and the revulsion at what he did. "He's right! You! You turned me against her!"
"Oh, you can't believe that," the Joker said, clearly wounded. "I'm just an agent of chaos. And the good thing about chaos? It's fair."
"Avada Kedavra!" Bill yelled.
Instead of a green flash of light, however, all there was, was a bang and a stream of sparklers and ribbons.
"You really think I'm that stupid? You see, if you want to be in the game…" the Joker grinned. "You play by MY rules!" The Joker held up Bill's real wand. "You know, I was about to let you go, but who cares? I think I'll just kill you." In the blink of an eye he had drawn his silenced Glock-17 and shot him in the chest.
As Bill fell, the Joker turned around. "And as for you…Avada Kedavra!"
The Joker dropped Bill's wand with a grin, picking up his prank wand, and stopped for a moment to revel in his victims. "Oh, I love this job! I love it!" he gave off another cackle as he exited, pulling off of Bill's body his Gringotts' Curse-Breaker necklace.
Gringotts' Wizarding Bank was a place where many weird and daresay wonderful people would turn up to make withdrawals.
So, even with the arrival of several hooded figures, no one had any cause for concern, even if they were Death Eaters – everybody knew that the affairs of Goblins had nothing to do with those of Wizards, and to attack the Goblins was a foolish gesture, as if they entered the war, they would completely annihilate their foes.
"Yes?" a Goblin asked as he glanced over at the hooded figures with detached interest. "May I help you?"
"No," the man in front said with a delighted cackle. "How can you help others, when you can't help yourself?"
He pulled out a silvery detonator and activated it.
A fiery inferno roared throughout Gringotts as each of the windows shattered, the hidden explosives blowing up.
People ran around screaming as the Joker whirled off his cloak, taking out a sawn-off shotgun and firing it several times into the air. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," he announced with a grand tone, his voice magically amplified.
However, everybody was still running around screaming – by this time, his…aides had taken off their cloaks, and with clown masks in place, had readied their assault rifles.
He growled as he realised they had paid no attention to them – the Goblins however had taken notice and were scrambling inside to arm themselves.
"GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" He roared, firing his shotgun again.
They all began to look at him in shock – some of the witches started screaming at his horrid face.
The Joker passed Bill Weasley's necklace across to one of his men. "Take three with you, kill anyone who stands in your way and start the next stage of the plan," he commanded.
"Right away, boss," the masked person said as he and three others disappeared.
With four left, the Joker looked on in boredom as a young Goblin charged him, giving off a war-cry, before shooting him in the face and sending him reeling backwards from the shot. He turned to address the growing crowd. "We are today's…entertainment," he said, drawing out the last word with great emphasis. "And if you want to survive…you do as I say. Now, will everybody please empty their keys here, in front of me?"
As soon as they realised what he wanted to do, somebody immediately yelled, "Avada Kedavra!"
The Joker leaned to the side as the green curse sailed past him, before raising his shotgun and killing the offender with a well-aimed blast. He walked over to the dead man's body, picking up the wand and examining it curiously before snapping it with a twist. "Now would anyone like to try that again?" he asked.
Throughout the hallway, there was a unanimous cry of "Stupefy!" and a unanimous gasp of shock as the red spells merely bounced off his jacket.
The Joker and his men responded by firing wildly into the crowd, killing dozens of people before the Joker stood back. "Any more?" he invited.
Those who had their wands started lowering them as they realised this was a fight they couldn't win.
"Now, unfortunately for you all…" the Joker began, "You're trapped."
And as if to emphasise that point, the doors abruptly slammed shut and locked themselves.
"A wonderful thing, goblin magic," The Joker cackled as all the lights started flickering off and on. "Especially when you're the one wielding it."
But it was especially foolish of them to allow the necklace of a high ranked Curse-Breaker to be able to access the underbelly of the bank – namely, the key room, where all the wards and the magic were centered on.
The Joker beckoned. "Come on, give me your bank keys, and I won't kill you," he said, although there was a hint of a commanding tone in his voice.
Reluctantly, and slowly, a podgy, short witch walked forward, dropping her key in front of the villain.
And soon, the witches and wizards all formed a line, dropping their keys in front of him as they realised this was a no-win situation.
The Joker cackled delightfully as he looked over the mass of gold in front of him, before taking a slick, black wand out of his pocket – with a wave, the keys all began to hiss and bubble.
At the shock and surprise of his audience, the Joker giggled. "What did you think I was going to do – steal all your vaults?" At the awkward silence that followed, he continued. "See, I'm a man of simple tastes – I like dynamite…and gunpowder…and gasoline…and spells! Do you know what all these things have in common? They're all cheap!"
He glanced behind them to see the three men coming back up, considerably bloodier but carrying several bulging sacks that had already been shrunken down.
"Oh, those?" He asked, pocketing the wand and putting some more shells into his shotgun. "Consider them…generous donations to our…charitable organization. We're not terrorists…we're just….ahead of the curve." He paused as he pulled out a detonator and the doors suddenly swung open. "Oh yes, and by the way, we've rigged the vaults with crates of C4 – for those of you who don't know what those do…stay around and enjoy the fireworks!"
By the time he finished, everybody had started their headless chicken routine, screaming and running the hell away from this demented psychopath.
"Should we retreat now, boss?" one of his henchmen questioned.
"Oh, you go right ahead," the Joker said, waving them aside. "But as for me, I'm going to enjoy the fireworks!" he added, giggling like a little child.
The henchmen, used to their boss's…erratic behavior, activated their Portkeys and left.
The Joker walked across the now-empty hallway of Gringotts, going down into the vaults.
He positioned himself in a place where he could see all the fireworks, as he called them.
It seemed unfortunate, however, that they weren't able to acquire enough explosives to destroy all of Gringotts – now that would have been an explosion he would be lining up to see.
But this explosion would certainly be pretty enough for his tastes.
He licked his lips in eager anticipation before raising the detonator and pressing the switch.
A/N: That's just a small introduction – what do you think? The Joker is far more amusing a character to write up than Batman, wouldn't you say?