A/N: The first chapter of 'Chagecha Ragecha', the spiritual sequel to 'Kyokusetsu Bobobo-Bo Bo-bobo'! It focuses on the main characters of Yoshio Sawai's new manga 'Chagecha', but only the first chapter will be put up for now because I need to wait for more chapters of the manga to be scanlated to learn more about the characters and their techniques. Please review in the mean-time, though, and tell me what you think! It's kind of short, but they can't all be as long as chapter 59 of Kyokusetsu, right?!
This fic definitely won't follow the format of the actual manga to the exact point, though, so some errors may be seen.
Also, read the Chagecha manga chapters on MangaFox for more information.
Also also, 'Ragecha' doesn't really mean anything. It just kind of rhymes with 'Chagecha'.
It was another peaceful day (if that's even possible to obtain in Gure-Tokyo) at Gekiatsu High School...
Chagecha let out a sigh as he slipped a large cigar in between his lips. The winds were calm and the sun was high in the sky, shining its brilliant rays down on the populace. As usual, Chagecha was lying out on the roof of the school, and the other members were busy keeping them entertained for the day.
"I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO SHUT ME UP!"
"SHUT IT UP!"
"I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO SHUT ME UP!"
"SHUT IT UP!"
For some reason, Mysterious Tiger Mask (A.K.A. Tiger Mask) was busy playing an extreme game of shogi against Usagi. Blood was pouring down their faces, and they both seemed near the end of their lives. Longhorn Onizawa was busy cowering behind Wakana Kotarou, who remained as stoic and silent as ever.
Washio Kouzan was trying to get his Teacher's Degree by practicing the teaching skills he learned off the Internet with Zenkaiten Doraji.
Holding up a piece of paper with the letter 'A' written on it, Kouzan asked, "...Now tell me, what do you think this says?"
Peering closely, little Doraji scratched his chin and replied, "Uh...I think it says 'Freelancers of the Republic of China have small ding-dongs'?"
Kouzan blinked a few times, and then stared at the paper himself. "Holy crap...you're right!"
Meanwhile, Kawai Himawari and Masato were just lying around alongside Chagecha.
Sitting up, Masato yawned and grunted, "Man...it's so boring around here. Why do we even bother coming to school anyway if we don't even go to class?"
Suddenly, a brick flew into Masato's head and knocked him unconscious. "IF YOU THINK IT'S SO BORING, THIS LIFE," Tiger Mask snapped furiously, "THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD AND DIE?!"
An awkward silence filled everyone's hearts.
Tiger Mask gasped. "No...no...I get it now! This existence isn't really an existence at all! It is...the anti-existence! I need Neo(1) to come and save me! I want to be a hero, Neo! I want to be a hero! Please!!" Spinning around, he ran towards the fence surrounding the edges of the roof and leaped over them, the ground many feet below.
"GOODBYE...MY FRIENDS!" he cried before he plummeted downwards out of view from the others.
Another awkward silence filled everyone's hearts.
"...Finally." Kotarou muttered.
After a moment, a loud rumbling sound filled the air. Cupping his hands over his ears, Masato shouted, "GAH...WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"
Getting to a stand, Chagecha brushed himself off and said, "Hmm...seems like a fight's coming our way..."
Suddenly, a giant pillar resembling a totem pole rose up from the ground down below, and Tiger Mask was seen holding onto the side of the pillar for dear life. Standing on the top of the pillar was a man. He jumped off and landed on the roof in front of Chagecha and the others, allowing them a better look at this sudden stranger.
He had a tall green mohawk that ran from the top of his head down to the tip of his ass-crack. Several spike-like pimples covered his greasy face, and he had piss-yellow eyes that seemed devoid of any dignity. Cackling mightily, a long forked tongue rolled out of the disgusting opponent's sharp-jawed mouth.
"You are...Chagecha, correct? Keh heh ehh!" snickered this odd enemy, "I am Orochebi(2)! I have been sent by the leaders of Shinu-Tokyo(3) to personally eliminate you!"
"W...Wait a minute! Shinu-Tokyo?! Uh...there's only one Tokyo, pal." Masato said.
Orochebi sneered. "Oh? Look up, you squid boy..."
Glancing upwards, Masato saw what looked like a huge island hovering overhead, enshrouding all of Tokyo in darkness. Several small geese were busy flapping away underneath, apparently keeping the giant landmass afloat.
"WHY...WHY DIDN'T I NOTICE THAT UNTIL NOW?!" Masato cried, his eyes bugging out of his head.
Stepping forward, Himawari snapped, "Just what are you freaks planning?"
"FREAKS?! PLANNING?! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE YOU KIND OF UNDERSTAND JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON...WHILE I'M TOTALLY LOST!" Masato exclaimed.
Chagecha crossed his arms and spat at Orochebi's clawed feet. "Let me guess," he said, "You guys...ARE FANS OF WEEKLY SHONEN JUMP, RIGHT?!"
"HEY, HEY, HEY! THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT'S GOING ON...I THINK!" Masato told him.
Orochebi gasped. 'This man...somehow, he knew one of Shinu-Tokyo's most deepest secrets! And...' he glanced down at Chagecha's shoes, 'And...he wears Crocs! That bastard!'
Getting into a fighting stance, Chagecha said, "If you guys think you can just come in and take over Gure-Tokyo for your own evil purposes, you've got another thing coming!"
'So...that's what they plan on doing, these new villains of ours?' Masato wondered. Suddenly, Himawari punched him in the face and snapped, "YOU GET WAY TOO MANY LINES, EVEN IF SOME OF THEM ARE JUST THOUGHTS!"
'Hey...at least you get lines too, Himawari...' thought Doraji.
'Hey...at least you get lines too, Himawari...' thought Kouzan.
'Hey...at least you get lines too, Himawari...' thought Kotarou.
'...Dude.' thought Longhorn Onizawa.
Removing the gloves on his hands, Orochebi revealed that instead of fingers, he had long sharp claws stained in blood. Licking one of them, Orochebi chuckled. He then bent down into a charging stance and proclaimed, "If you can defeat me, Chagecha...then you will be allowed to enter our city of Shinu-Tokyo, and face the 'Five Masters' and their loyal allies who await you..."
'Ooh...I hope they're serving cold ramen in the cafeteria today...' Chagecha pondered with a little hungry grin.
"HE'S NOT EVEN PAYING ATTENTION!" Masato cried.
"ARGH...YOU'LL REGRET NOT TAKING ME SERIOUSLY!" Orochebi snapped, and he ran at Chagecha, his giant claws bared. However, by the time he took a swipe, Chagecha had already gotten behind him.
"...Hmph. Easy pickings." Chagecha scoffed as he wrapped his arms tightly around Orochebi's stomach.
"H...Hey...hold on...I...uh...keh heh ehh..."
Roaring like a beast, Chagecha backflipped and tossed Orochebi high into the air. Then, as the snake-like yankee came plummeting back down to Earth, Chagecha leaped up high and landed a single, powerful upper-cut to his jaw, completely breaking it. Coughing up blood and a few teeth, the defeated Orochebi collapsed back onto the roof in defeat.
Landing next to him, Chagecha exclaimed, "...AND THAT'S WHAT MY MOTHER DID TO ME EVERY TIME I DIDN'T TAKE OUT THE TRASH!"
Shivering in excitement, Doraji and Longhorn Onizawa thought, 'Ooh...Mommy, teach us that move too...'
Struggling to speak, Orochebi took out a small key-card and dropped it at Chagecha's feet. "Use this...to enter the city...but...you will only end up dying...Chagecha..." Then, he lost consciousness.
Picking up the key-card, Chagecha realized it had the kanji '精肉'(4) written onto it. 'Ah...I could use this for free lamp chobs! Sweetness...TO THE SUPREME!'
Chagecha turned to the others and said, "Alright, then...c'mon, let's get this show on the road. We're heading...to Shinu-Tokyo!"
Masato nodded. "That's all well and good, sempai, and I'd be honored to go with you, but...how do we get up there?"
A third awkward silence filled everyone's hearts. "Uh...we use a train of course!" Thus, the Gekiatsu group headed off to find a train.
"HEY!" Tiger Mask cried, still hanging onto the pillar from earlier, "HEY! CAN YA HELP ME OUT?! HEY! HEEY! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!"
...And so, the adventures of the 'Shinu-Tokyo' arc begin!
THE REFERENCE INDEX:
(1) - Tiger Mask is talking about Neo from The Matrix.
(2) - Orochebi's name is a combination of 'Orochi' and 'Hebi', both words dealing with snakes.
(3) - 'Shinu' means Death in Japanese.
(4) - '精肉' is translated as 'Meat' in Japanese.