Aliens Have Arrived Author: Katrin Van Helsing

WRITTEN IN HONOR OF THE October the 14th 2008 ALIEN ARRIVAL AS HERALDED BY a channeler who represents the 'galatic federation of light'


Disclaimer: I have no claims to ANYTHING. No aliens where hurt in the writing of this story, but if aliens do land I really hope to get on board a ship! Don't shoot the writer!

I guess it started like any other day, the credit card bill had arrived and so had the gas and electricity bills and a letter from the government. Katrin concluded it just was not the day to get out of bed. Since the mail arrived at about One O'clock in the afternoon, she was already planning to make herself a late lunch and sit down to her favorite detective shows and slowly open the mail while drinking her coffee, hoping that it might make the bills a little bit easier to swallow. It did but not by much. It was as she was about to open begrudgingly the credit card when all hell broke loose and she started to hear screams in the street, cars moving out at speed and general mayhem. Even her favorite program was interrupted and Katrin ideally thought how could anyone interrupt Diagnosis Murder just as they where going to announce who did it, when she actually heard what the terrified newscaster was saying.

Katrin went immediately to her window, the post and it's implications temporarily forgotten, and looked up into the sky. Yup it was finally and absolutely proven aliens did exist and they had landed or that was what the newscaster was saying and if, as Katrin was doing, you looked up into the sky, you could definitely see the big (and I do mean big) ships that literally blocked out the sun hovering like giants skyscrapers that had been dumped on their side and floated in mid-air.

It was then that Katrin paid attention to the news, not that she did not keep upto date with the news, most of the time, but this was different Earth had entered the Space age and she wanted to hear just how the government was going to try and cover this up. The answer was it didn't. The united nations decided to open their arms to the intergalactic visitors and the world stopped worrying about the credit crunch. People where filled with hope, trekkies where filled with dreams and Conspiracy theorists where now wondering what to do for a living. Of course the guy who foretold the coming of the aliens was heralded as a ambassador and not the crackpot, he used to be.

Of course Katrin, realized that the world would be tilted but the bills still had to be faced. At least now the credit crunch was history. So being the pragmatist all her family had accused her of being, along with accusations of flights of fancy and well not being normal, Katrin decided that she would first open the mail and finish her coffee, then she would log on and see what the internet provided as to information instead of scare stories. Lastly, she would clean and sharpen her knife collection. She was after all a pragmatist and she wanted to be ready, just in case the visitors turned nasty.

It was with these thoughts running though her head that she opened the letter from the government, wondering how much more of her hard earned tax dollars the government wanted. On starting to read the letter / invitation, that was included, she decided she needed something a little stronger then coffee. Now as all good conspiracy writers have known for untold ages, the government is and has always been in league with the aliens. This was proven totally and utterly true beyond any shadow of a doubt because the letter was a invitation to join a select group (chosen at random), who where invited to tour the main ship of the fleet. It ended with this statement which shows bureaucracy in the ultimate degree, "If for any reason you cannot make the appointment, please call the Ministry of Defense with your reasons. They will redirect you to the appropriate office to deal with your problem." Yup thought Katrin, and the men in white coats won't be far behind them either.

The group would have 1st class treatment all the way, starting with a limo to the new space port at Gatwick. Katrin now understood why the government had been so behind the improvements at Gatwick. She also wondered what the planning department had said to receiving plans for a space port instead of a new runway. Shaking her head she decided to have another coffee, the wine was nice but she needed a clear head, the group met in two days and she wanted to be ready. Katrin also decided to drag out her picnic basket because she would bring some earthen delights just in case she found that, even with her strong stomach, she could not digest what would be served. The group was meant to stay on the mother-ship (for lack of a better name) for a week, meeting aliens and discussing things. It seemed the aliens wanted to know the view of the people and not just the leaders. Of course the leaders agreed immediately and without any reservations, well none that they voiced anyway. For them it was simple, if the aliens wanted, the aliens got. This shows you what kind of leaders we have currently.

It was the morning of the meet and the limo was parked outside waiting. Katrin was dressed in her usual sweater, t-shirt, trousers and leather jacket and while placing her picnic basket in the back of the car, she noticed that the driver was looking rather oddly at her.

Katrin, "What' wrong"

Driver, "Well, it's just that, could you not have hmmm dressed better and I am sure, you are going to get fed, you know." Katrin moved into the car and sat down and smiled. "One, this is better, I picked my nicest trousers, and two how do you know that we'll be able to eat what they provide. Have you seen what Klingons call food or dare I suggest the meals shown in the TV series V. We or at least I have no knowledge on what the aliens think normal humans eat."

The driver nodded his head, "True, I never thought of that. So what did you bring. You never know they may want a taste of it themselves."

Katrin, "Oh you know the usual picnic items, bread, butter, cheese, salami, tomatoes, lettuce, peanuts and a nice bottle of wine." At that they drove off, to the meeting and Katrin thought the driver might think her a bit nuts but no matter. She had of course not mentioned that the basket also contained 4 forks, 4 spoons and 4 very sharp knives, alongside a nice carving knife. She was also carrying two cameras with quite a few memory cards. Now Katrin did not want to cause any sort of trouble, she just wanted to be ready if trouble found her. You may ask why two cameras but you see Katrin had a unusual hobby involving night time photography, so she had a normal camera and a infra-red camera, and on this trip she brought both.

Actually, everything went better then expected. A alien Captain type was on hand to greet the group and assign a alien helper to each person, to help out in any situation and to see to the humans needs while they where on the mother ship, or so he said, Katrin thought giving the twenty some looking alien, a once over. This captain who went by the human name Joshua, then presented the humans each with a card, explaining that should they wish to purchase anything, they could use these. Katrin, first question was, "where would she purchase anything. Wasn't the mother ship all laboratories and workshops. Joshua explained that being so far from home (about 25 light years), one or two ships in the fleet where assigned to certain pass time activities, that he felt sure human would enjoy. Her next question was obvious "How much is on the cards". Joshua simple said that the cards had enough to suffice. Katrin obviously wondered how much was considered enough.

Katrin was pondering this when see saw out of the corner of her eye, the alien pick up her picnic basket, so she turned and asked what his name was and where he was taking her picnic basket. Now his response on later reflection was the first sign that earth delegates where bound to put their collective foot straight into trouble. Not that even Katrin, thought anything of the fact that instead of saying a name, he answered with a long series of digits, about 20 long. He followed that up with stating that he was taking the basket to her assigned chambers, and could see follow him so that she could agree that everything was to her liking. Katrin's first thought was how polite he was, and she asked if she could call him Tom. He nodded so she figured he agreed to it. "OK, Lead on Tom." and with that Katrin was off to her new quarters for the next week.

Now you may wonder how by a simple answer to a even simpler question was it obviously to the meanest intelligent civilized person that trouble was not only knocking on the door but you had actually invited it in. Well it was a difference of culture, something that was as normal as walking the prevail dog, to the aliens that is and the ambassador put his foot in it on the first day at dinner time, when he congratulated the host on the excellent tour of the ship, the humans had received since them entered the ship. The helpers had answered all their questions and added some explanations when needed. The ambassador went on to ask if these helpers where going to be the aliens first ambassadors to earth. The Host laughed of course not, he said. It was at this point that the ambassador put his foot in it, when he said "that it was sad because his helper had asked if the ambassador would like him to stay on earth with him and help him learn more.". It was then that the Host stated that the helper should not have done that. The ambassador would have a new helper on his return to his chambers. He called a guard over and instructed that the helper to the ambassador was to be replaced and punished for his request.

To give Our Ambassador his due, he did stand up and state he did not want another helper. He also roughly asked why he was going to be punished. It was then that the proverbial shoe dropped, when the Host replied that a slave should not dream of raising above his station and definitely should not ask for it. The Host stood and the air frizzled with anger, slavery was an ugly word on earth, but in the alien culture and earth later learned really all over the galaxy, slavery was common and legal. It was at this moment that Katrin stood from her chair and raising her hands suggested that a misunderstanding had occurred.

Katrin," Obviously, there is a misunderstanding here."

Host, "A Misunderstanding."

Katrin, "Yes, Sir. Our noted Ambassador only meant that the helper was glad that he (the ambassador) wished that he could have the helper explain better your ways, after this week was over and we returned to earth."

Host, "Is that true, Ambassador"

Ambassador, "Yes, perfectly true. So no punishment or new helper will be needed."

Host, "I am not sure, maybe the ambassador would appreciate a different helper with a different point of view."

Katrin, "Your most gracious Sir, but I am sure that the ambassador agrees with me when I say that I would not appreciate having to get to know another helper when I have already understood my present helper and he understands me." Katrin smiled graciously and the Ambassador nodded and said, "I could not have put it better myself."

Host, " Alright, this has been a difference of opinion. Let us hope for no more, (and then he too smiled) or at least let us hope that Katrin is here to explain them. He said raising his glass. Katrin smiled and raised her's, watching him sip from his glass and smile. Katrin sipped from hers and decided that she was terrible glad that she had a bottle of wine in the basket because whatever this was tasted like runny jelly and was atrocious. It was after dinner (don't ask because the liquid was the best thing on the menu), that talk got to differences of culture and it was then that the ambassador choose with (he made sure) Katrin standing close by, to gently point out that slavery was non-existent on earth, so being invited to slave auction being held on one of the ship was not something anyone would be interested in. He was lucky Katrin was nearby, the host was not pleased because the slave auction was meant to be the highlight of the week. Katrin immediately stepped in, stating that maybe it would aid mutual understanding to attend the auction but of course not purchase anything, (shaking her head) I meant anyone. Luckily though the ambassador shook his head the host seemed pleased. "You of course will be there Katrin."

Katrin, "Of Course."

This was only the first day and already trouble had been averted twice. When the news got around the earthen group that the helpers where slaves and this was a slave society, things went from bad to worse. You see the earthen group was made up of people from all across the world, but unfortunately for earth, it had 60 of people well (hates politically correct attitude) black or half black and on hearing that slave labour was the norm, they decided to leave. The aliens where not happy. The ambassadors where not happy either, so really by 5 days in everyone was literally walking on eggshells. The auction was on the 5th day.

Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves and with Tom in tow, Katrin prepared to goto her first and hopefully last slave auction. Even Tom was not happy, and passing by a large well lit room, Tom requested that Katrin wait a second while he popped in. Katrin being ever curious decided to pop in herself. The room was spacious and as I have already said very well lit. It was calm and peaceful, and Katrin stood just inside the doorway admiring the portraits, paintings and statues that filled the room. She noticed Tom sitting in front of one and it hit her that this might be the aliens church. So silently she started to leave, bumping straight into what you would call the minister/priest/head man. She apologized unreservedly. Katrin, also stated that her servant had wished to enter and she had allowed it. The priest smiled, "All are allowed to enter." Katrin visible breathed a sigh of relief, so not all aliens where creeps like the commander of the fleet.

Katrin turned slightly to glance at Tom to see if he was finished and was about to shout at him when the priest put his hand over her mouth and pulled her aside. The priest realised that Katrin did not understand but then he admitted religion had not been discussed because as mentioned before 60 of the earthlings had left early. It was obviouse now to the entire fleet that earth had different attitudes to certain well held alien beliefs so religion would also be very different. Katrin turned to him and pointed back towards Tom, "He needs a doctor" she hissed. The priest shook his head, "he is praying to the Goddess".

Katrin turned in total disbelief, "Goddess, since when does one cut open one's arm to pray."

The priest said, "How else does one pray. One offers sacrifice to plead one's case. He must want something greatly to sacrifice so much of his blood. He has filled the bowl."

Katrin tried to calm down. Alien slavery she could understand, this she was having a hard time. "We give donations, money. We say prayers. We do not shed our blood like that." She said pointing at Tom. "Ah, the priest nodded, yes some of us do that too, but the more dedicated versions of our religion dictate that that is not enough." Tom came over looking worried and asked if he had inadvertently upset her. Now Katrin, was once of the most understanding people on earth or at least she thought she was, but this, she was having a hard time dealing. So she took in another deep breath, said "NO" and politely said goodbye to the priest, promising to visit again before she left back to earth herself. Then they where off to her first slave auction and Katrin wondered if she or earth for that matter would get used to this alien way of looking at things.