Well people, here is another fan fiction produced from a sleepover. Yeah, that assures it to be absolute crack. And every one knows they all love that. So, without further ado, I present to you my newest fan fiction.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and technically my friend came up with the idea... But I do have a Naruto and Byakuya plushie!!

Rated T for adult themes and swearing




Harry Potter sighed as he lay on his bed at number four, Privet Drive. His hand unconsciously made it's way to his forehead, resting on his scar. Harry shuddered at the information he had acquired that past school year. It had been enough to permanently scar him for life.

It was just after Cedric had been killed, at the end of the TriWizard Tournament. But that wasn't the part that has done such emotional damage to Harry. No, that was done by something much, much worse.


"Mwahahahahaha!" Voldemort laughed maniacally as Cedric's body fell. After a few minuets he turned his attention to the shocked Harry. "Ku ku ku. well if it isn't Harry Potter. The one who lived. The one who caused my downfall. Now boy, can you tell me what I was known as?"

"T-the m-most evil w-wizard ever." Harry answered, stuttering against his will.

"Ku ku ku, that is one thing. But do you know the other?"


"I was also known as the biggest gay pedophile! But because of you, my position was taken by two people, this one person from this place called Oto named Orochimaru and this other person from America named... Micheal Jackson." Harry just gave him an odd, disbelieving look.


"Yes Harry. And do you know the truth about your 'scar'?" Voldemort asked, a gigantic, twisted grin on his face. Harry just shook his head. "That is no scar. It's just a hickey I gave you that fateful day. It just doesn't seem to want to go away."

Flashback ends:

Harry shuddered. It was a terrible memory. One that he was sure would haunt him for the rest of his life. Suddenly he heard a tapping at his window. It was Hedwig. She had a letter attached to her leg. It was from Ron.


Dad gave me this Muggle newspaper the other day (it was the strangest thing, none of the pictures moved!) and there was this one article in there. It was utterly hilarious. Mum said not to show it to Fred or George in case it gave them any ideas. Anyway, I thought you would like it.

From Ron

P.S. After you read the article, think, does this make you think of anyone.

Harry put the letter down, there was another piece of paper with it that he took out. It was in fact an article from a Muggle newspaper, accompanied by a picture of a man (or at least Harry thought) with long, black hair, a very small nose, tight lips, and an over all creepy appearance.

'New development in the Micheal Jackson case

I am sure we have all heard of the controvery surrounding the singer, Micheal Jackson, saying that he sexually harrased a young boy. Yes, diesturbing, I know. Many are calling him the biggest gay pedophile ever. Is that true? We may never know. All we do know is that Micheal Jackson in indeed, guilty.'

Harry just stared at the paper for a second before bursting out in uncontrollable laughter. Oh wow, this was rich. And wasn't this Micheal Jackson person one of those people Voldemort mentioned?

Total. Crack. I know, but if you heard some of the other stuff we talked about. Namely, necrophiliacs (for those of you who don't know what those are, they are people who fuck dead people). Don't ask me how that started, I don't know. Anyway, I hoped you all liked it!