This is short, this is mature for the underlying theme, obvious at he end. You have been warned.
It felt like I had never left, and yet there could be no doubt in any body's mind that I had. After all, they were at my funeral.
Confused? Not surprised. You'd think it would actually sink in that hey, I'm freakin' dead and yet they sit there listening to my brief life story as if it were old news. What a way for it to be. What a way for you to find me again.
You who needed my help that one rainy day. For the first time in my life I felt truly needed. You reached out to me and took my hand, and acknowledged that I wanted to help you. Acknowledged me. What a dangerous thing to do.
For such a brief time, I actually had a family. We were as together as it was possible for the two of us to get. We even had a few demons hanging around for company, one who was more attached to my cat than I ever was, which could be saying something. My best friend, as I so called her, well, she got fed up with me not long after you died. So she is long gone. And then there was your maid. To be honest, to begin with she freaked me out just a bit. The way she died... well, that's painful to remember, even as a ghost.
One by one our family has left, some surrounding me in the afterlife with no recollection as to who I am, while a couple still live, though they don't remember me either. Thank you so much, Dad. You gave me one hell of a life, complete with it's own firing squad.
Of course, it's not all Dad's fault. He tried to let me live. He tried to spare me, though it was too late for him and my mother. He tried to do everything for me, but it just wasn't enough. It never could have been.
Even though I came into life with a price on my head, you still found me. In your memories you probably hold me in high esteem as your savior, but I never saved you. Not even once. It was you who saved me. And it just makes me miss you all the more.
It was a horrible way for you to die. In so much agony, so much pain, and yet still, through it all, despite how I acted like I didn't care anymore, you endured it all for the sake of finding me and protecting me. It cost you the most important thing you had to protect me, and yet I let your sacrifice go in vain.
Ororon, I'm sorry. But without you, there just wasn't any point. After everyone had left me, no before that, I was numb. The moment I knew I was going to lose you forever, I lost all feeling except for the intensity of my burning love for you. It was daggers in my heart as I watched you fight and die for me. I knew the moment you fell that soon I would, too.
And that just brings me back to today. You see, I was talking in he past tense, so you think I'm already dead, right? Wrong. I'm only dying. Everything that has previously been read is merely what I believe it will be like. I'm still alive. But after you've read the last line, I won't be. You see, I did find a way to get you back, Ororon. I'm joining you in Hell. That's why this knife is buried in my heart. That's why my life's blood is dripping onto the floor. That's why you are able to see me again. I'm trapped between Hell and Earth, and I need your hand to pull me to you, so that we can be together forever in eternal damnation. Won't that be good? You see, it doesn't matter where we are, so long as we're together. I'lll face Hell forever so long as you're by my side. That's why you're giving me that smile now right? I missed that smile. Who knew I'd have to die to see it again?
Ok, not among my best writing, basically me just doing some free scrawling. I needed to vent a bit anyway. I'm not suicidal or anything like that, so don't think I am. I just have very dark thoughts that have to be released sometimes.