Pffft. It only just struck me that I have now written that fic. XDDDD
Anyway, kinda XKCD inspired. It's a webcomic, you want strip number 311.
Disclaimer-I own neither Naruto nor the other thing I'm borrowing.
Why Fee Is Not A Film Director
"Right, Orochimaru, over there and look angrier! Naruto, I want you higher in the sky! Sakura, be sexier!"
Sakura scowled, and punched him.
"You're fine as you are…" mumbled the boy.
"What's the plot for this anyway?" asked Jiraiya, appearing.
"Plot?" everyone asked.
"We don't need plot." said Fee, waving a hand dismissively.
"You definitely need plot." nodded Jiraiya. "I should know."
"Please, Reversal has more plot than Icha Icha." laughed Fee, before realising-again-that they hadn't read it. "Well… let's just say you suck at plot."
"Fine then." sulked Jiraiya. "If you're not making a plot, what's happening?"
"Everyone ever has a really, really big fight." said Fee nonchalantly.
"What, every ninja?" said Jiraiya, suddenly interested. "Can I join in?"
"I knew this was your kind of thing." said Fee with a happy grin. "Come on, everyone, places!"
* * *
Some time Later
* * *
"There's something missing from this…" said Fee, watching as various Kage's and other powerful ninja battled ferociously, paying particular attention to Itachi and Kimimaro.
"This ultimate battle isn't complete…" he said to himself, before suddenly brightening up.
He vanished in a flash of purple light and a screaming silence that hurt the soul, and returned moments later with a girl, maybe fourteen or so. She had messy black-brown hair, and a pretty, troubled face with bright, blue eyes.
"Everything needz. Moar. River." nodded Fee. "Go."
* * *
"Oh, great, do you know how much effort a Mass Resurrection costs, River?"
"They look better in red."
"I'm part of the floor now."
* * *
The other thing is River Tam, from Firefly. She is awesome. If you haven';t watched Firefly or Serenity you NEED to.
"I can kill you with my mind."
Yes, we know that, River.
"The Human body can be drained of blood in 8-"
8.6 seconds, given adequate vacuuming systems.
"Also, I can kill you with my mind."