Hi guys I'm officially home and here is the last chapter! I hope you enjoy it, thank you guys so much for sticking with me in this looooonnngggg journey. thank you to SCC for beta-ing
We sit quietly in Edward's heavenly meadow and all I want to do is stay in this beautiful place where it goes untouched by evil. Edward runs a hand through his bronze hair before sighing. "Are you okay?" he asks.
"Of course," I murmur in reply.
"You're too calm..." he mumbles which makes me laugh quietly.
"You already told me you can read minds. I've been trying to figure you out for weeks. It just makes sense," I explain.
"You should be frightened. A normal human would be," Edward comments before he looks at me with narrow eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you Bella or kill you."
I nod, "I know you won't. I can't explain why I'm so calm about it, it just seems like it's you. You're Edward the Vampire. I find it fascinating."
Again Edward sighs and he leans back against a tree. His eyes are closed and his face is emotionless but I can hear the frustration in his breathing. I sit cross legged in front of him and stare down at my wrists.
"I only tried to do it once," I whispers. I know he can hear me. "I've never really had to guts to do it again. Especially after I saw what it did to Gram. I was sick and tired of everything being the way it was, the way it still is. I had reached my lowest point… I um tried to OD on some pills and slit my wrists before getting into the shower… It was really stupid."
Raindrops fall into my lap from my eyes, the big kind that almost leave a small puddle. I sniffle and wrap my arms around my stomach. Tears are falling down my face and he moves closer to me than I ever thought possible. His pale white hand moves out slowly to touch my face. Softly, I can barely feel it, he wipes the tears from my eye and almost studies them for a second before looking back at me.
"I…" Edward begins. "My parents and I all died around the same time. It was Chicago 1918 and we all contracted the Spanish Influenza. My father died the day before my mother and I. She was very sick, and Carlisle told me it was her dying wish to save me. He still swears she could tell he wasn't human or at least that he had a gift. He followed her order and turned me…. I can't relate to losing your parents suddenly but I have lived almost a century without mine."
"I'm glad you can't read my mind," I murmur as I stare into his golden eyes. "I'd probably scare you away. Or you'd have to put me in intense therapy."
Edward surprisingly chuckles. "Scare me away? Bella I'm a killer. You should have run away screaming by now."
"I can't explain it. When I'm with you I feel… safe and comforted," I explain. "I'm not going to let those feelings leave me because you aren't apparently human."
"I won't let anything bad happen to you Bella. I want to protect you from every thing even if sometimes that means yourself." Edward says to me as he pulls me into his cool embrace.
As we sit in this beautiful meadow I think back to that paper I wrote and my final thoughts. As romantic and sad my paper was, it held some truth in it for me. That final note or words to your loved one. Dad had done that right before he was murdered and it was something I couldn't let go of. With Edward, he died a century ago. He died with his parents but was reborn in death by Carlisle. Edward has roamed the earth and watched everyone he cared about die. He's had to leave them after a few years and never return. He has lived a life of dark but even in the midst of it he has found love and beauty in it. He still has Carlisle and his family and a save home to come to. And that is something I deeply envy him for.
"I want that," I whisper. "But all I need is you. All I need is you to be there with me, every day. You make me feel comforted and make me feel like I don't have to be alone ever again…"
"You don't ever have to feel like that again. I'm here," Edward murmurs. "I always will be."
I know we have a long, rough road ahead now but I'm glad I wrote that paper on my final thoughts because if I hadn't I never would've met Edward the way I did. You won't be sad forever, he told me. And I have a feeling he's right.
thank you guys sooo much for reading! it means a lot, i know you guys know that by now. PLEASE REVIEW! let me know what you think.