Wow, it's been forever, hasn't it? I'm so sorry it's been so long. I think it's actually been close to two years since I last updated. I can't even begin to express how sorry I am that it's taken so long to update but hopefully I can make up for it by posting a couple chapters! A lot has happened and through all of it, I have to admit, I haven't even thought about fanfictions.
Oh and before I forget, it'll probably take a while to update, I'm warning you now so in case I disappear again, you won't hate me(hopefully). I'm not really good with keeping up with stories(in fact this is one of the longest ones I've ever written) but from here on, I will try my best to update as often as possible. As always, reviews make me happy so please spare some time to think of something catchy to write in that happy little white box down there! Here we go!
Previously: He put his hand lightly on my shoulder, still standing as if undecided on what to do next. I patted the bed beside me and he sat down, putting his arm around my waist. After a few moments he said softly, "Bella, are you sure this is what you want?" It was as if he could read my mind.
I sighed, "Of course I do, Edward. It's not like she could stay in Rosalie's room." I knew that wasn't what he meant, but for some reason, I didn't feel comfortable answering. I'd hardly had time to think about that since I was changed.
"Bella, you know that's not what I-" I interrupted him, kissing him softly and resting my head on his chest.
"I know. It's not like we can change it now," he frowned but I continued, "and honestly, I'm fine with it." And I realized that I was, as long as he was with me, I was fine with anything.
It had been almost a week since the girl, now unanimously decided to be called Shanna Marie Hale-a joint decision between Rosalie and I- had come to stay with us. Through the whole visit, Edward had kept a close eye on me, while I kept a close eye on Shanna. Emmett and Alice had gone around the town putting up posters the night we had found her and so far, no one had called.
However, today, things were not cheerful as we loaded things back into cars, preparing for our trip back to Forks for the looming event that awaited us there. Charlies funeral-I shuddered- was going to held tomorrow and it was going to be hell to get anywhere near it. Edward had explained to me that the funeral was to be held at La Push and how he and I were the only ones going.
The Blacks, he explained, were werewolves and it would be hard enough getting two vampires past their territory without starting a war, much less if all of them had come with. At first, I had laughed hysterically. This whole time, my boyfriend had been a vampire and my best friend was a werewolf? It seemed impossible.
Of course, that couldn't be as bad as it got. He then explained that vampires were the sworn enemies of werewolves. Now, not only was I extremely depressed already, I'd also have to worry for my life at my own father's funeral.
The only good news, it seemed, was that Renee was not going to be there. For all I knew, she hadn't even heard of Charlie's death. At least that would mean that I wouldn't have to worry about trying to explain my drastic "make over" as Alice called it.
"Bella, it's time to go," Edward said gently, holding open the car door as I slid into the passenger seat. I pressed my face against the glass and concentrated on breathing normally as he began driving. "Are you sure you want to do this? You don't have to go you know," he placed his hand on top of mine and squeezed my fingers, hoping to calm my nerves.
I closed my eyes and breathed deeply one more time before making up my mind. "I want to go. I couldn't be there to help him, the least I could do is be there to say g- goodbye." My voice broke on the last word. It was still hard to believe that Charlie was gone forever, and it was my fault. If I hadn't so stubbornly chased after James and gotten him killed, Victoria-a tremor shook my body at the name- wouldn't have gone and killed Charlie for revenge.
It seemed like no time at all that the sun had fallen and we were about halfway to Forks. Although, with Edward's driving, I wouldn't have been surprised if we were there already. I let my thoughts wander back to memories of Charlie and I. Back when I had visited one time, he had brought me to La Push and Billy Black had shown me how to hold a fishing pole. It had been too big for me to throw on my own, so Charlie cast the line for me and let me reel it in, holding the top so that I "wouldn't get pulled in" as he said. That was the first time I had caught a fish, although Charlie did most of the work for me after I fell backwards, pouting. After that, Billy had made a campfire and we cooked my little sun fish, even though it wasn't big enough to be even classified as a snack. I laughed quietly to myself at the memory.
Edward stayed quiet throughout the whole ride. I wondered if he was just being polite or thinking about something else entirely. I was still determined to get my revenge on Victoria, with or without training. Edward had so far refused to teach me to fight, always saying that we would concentrate on that after the funeral. Emmett, however, had been more than happy to wrestle with me no matter how often Edward refused.
My eyes were still red, albeit with tiny flecks of gold sprinkled between. Edward had warned me that it would probably take about a month for them to change to gold completely, as were the rest of the Cullen's. I had a contact case ready in case I were to go out in the open. They weren't exactly the smooth chocolate color that my eyes had been, more like a dirt-colored brown, but they were good enough. I wasn't exactly sure what I was planning to do once we made it there but I wasn't worried about that now.
"Do you really think Jacob will attack us?" I asked quietly in the darkness. I could hear Edward's steady breathing beside me. He was staring at me as if he hadn't turned to look at the road once this whole drive. Knowing him, he probably hadn't.
He sighed and turned back to the road. "I don't know Bella. I don't even know if he's actually one of them."
"Wait," I interrupted, "you mean he wasn't already a werewolf?" I asked incredulously.
"It's more like a dormant trait," he explained carefully, "Carlisle thinks it's caused by our presence, vampires I mean. The more vampires are present, the more they need 'protectors'. Before you were changed," he cringed at the word and continued, "Sam, the eldest of the La Push, and Embry were the only two there. There's no telling how many changed when James and Victoria showed up," he spat their names like venom.
The car lapsed back into silence as I leaned my head back on the seat and Edward stared at the road. I began to remember memories of Jacob and I as little kids. We were six and Charlie and Billy had gone inside to watch a football game, while Jacob and I played tag in the front yard. Jacob had been about to tag me and I slipped, scraping my knee. Jacob stopped the whole game just to get a first aid kit, even though it really wasn't that bad, and, being clumsy, I was used to scrapes and bruises. Back then I had always imagined Jacob and I growing up together, maybe even getting married. I felt incredibly guilty that I had barely even said hello to him since she had arrived from Phoenix. I wondered briefly if he would look past the fact that I was his sworn enemy when he saw me again.
Again, the time never ceased to amaze me. It seemed like only minutes later that we were driving past the familiar little "Welcome to Forks" sign, stating that the little town wasn't only little in size, but also little in occupants.
"Edward," I said quietly, "would you mind if we made a quick stop at...the house?" It didn't seem right calling it my house or Charlie's house anymore. I knew this would probably be the last time I would see this place for a long time. Edward nodded silently and turned down the street leading towards the now empty, abandoned place that I had spent almost every summer of my childhood.
A lump formed in the back of my throat when I saw his police cruiser still parked in the driveway, as if he were still there, waiting for me to come home. A dry sob shook my frame as I walked up to the door, Edward a few feet behind me. I felt the familiar brass of the front doorknob, even though it didn't feel cold to the touch anymore, and twisted. It was unlocked.
The house looked untouched in the front hallway. I walked forward into the living room and fell to my knees.
"Bella, what is i-" he stopped short behind me, letting his breath out in a hiss. It looked like the scene from a horror movie. The couch was in shreds, overturned. Papers were strewn across the floor and it seemed as if a trail of disaster led up stairs as well. That wasn't the worst part. Blood was splattered across the walls, drops of it on the tv, and a puddle on the floor. She obviously hadn't shown him any mercy.
My breath was coming in ragged breaths by the time I had realized that Edward had half carried, half dragged me back out of the house. Obviously he had expected someone to clean it. A morbid part of my brain wondered how they were going to do a funeral if his body wasn't in one piece.
I sobbed dry tears and a violent retching shook my body, even though there was nothing to come out. Edward cradled me against his chest in the grass in the front yard, murmuring apologies repeatedly. At least now that I was in the fresh air, I didn't have to breath that smell anymore. Blood still didn't appeal to me in any way, even animal blood was slightly repugnant, but the stench of human blood was already bad enough when it was still in the person's body.
After probably hours of sobbing and Edward comforting me, I stood up suddenly. He looked at me, unsure of what I would do next. "I- I still have to say g- goodb- bye," I said feebly. I had meant for my voice to come out strong but things didn't always happen as I wanted lately.
"Are you sure, Bella? You don't have to go there, you don't have to face this," he said almost pleadingly, as if I would crack under any more pressure. Not that anything could be quite as bad as that.
"I'm positive," I said with more conviction. "I haven't even apologized. The last thing he heard from me..." I shuddered, remembering the argument we had had when I left. I had used the words Renee had spoken when she had left him all those years ago. He looked at me admiringly for a few moments. "What is it?" I asked, feeling uneasy under his gaze.
"It's just that...you're so strong, Bella. All this time I've felt the need to protect you and yet, you've always been stronger than me. Stronger than anyone I've ever met," he finished. I would've blushed at the flattery had I been able to, and had it been a less dramatic time. As it was, I was already emotionally unbalanced and on the verge of going overboard, and he wasn't exactly helping. He seemed to realize this and walked over to the volvo to hold the door for me. I slid in silently and then we were driving again.
This time the drive seemed endless. I didn't want to remember anymore, I might have remembered what had happened back at the house, or imagined what he looks like now. I shuddered at the thought. Edward glanced at me every few minutes. I think he was making sure that I wasn't about to go insane. In fact, I felt quite the opposite. I felt completely calm now, as if whatever happened ahead couldn't even come near as bad as what I'd already been through.
After what felt like the days it should have taken to get here, we finally arrived at "the boundary". I didn't see what was so special about this spot that if a vampire crossed it, werewolves would immediately know and attack. It seemed like there was no difference between the invisible line and the rest of the road.
A minute later I realized, or rather, smelled the difference. It smelled worse than the time I cleaned out Charlie's fridge and found a container filled with some unknown green substance. It was almost unbearable at first, but after a moment of holding my shirt over my nose to try and filter the air, I gradually got used to it. This must be the smell of werewolf, I thought grimly to myself.
Edward seemed as if he could barely handle the smell either, though I imagined he had to be at least slightly more desensitized than I was. After a moment of standing in one piece on the other side of the invisible barrier, and so far, not being attacked, we walked back to the car and began slowly driving through the reserve.
It was a lot more tense, now that we were in unfamiliar territory. It wasn't exactly alien to me but it seemed like a forbidden land now that I was changed. I also felt a sort of rebel thrill being here. Not the kind that you got if you skipped a class at school, but the kind you got when you climbed out of your bedroom window in the middle of the night and stood in the middle of a dark abandoned road realizing that there was nothing you ever planned to do once you actually got out.
After a few moments of my silent musing, Edward pulled over to the side of a seemingly empty road. "We'll get out and walk from here. It's only about a two minute walk down to the graveyard," he grimaced as if it hurt him almost as much to say it as it did for me to hear it. "This way we can also get away faster if we need to."
"Alright," I said, feeling a need to fill the silence. We were just getting out of the car when I heard a faint shuffling coming from behind us. I spun around quickly, expecting to see a squirrel or stray cat. Nothing. What was there a moment ago was obviously gone now. I had the strange sensation of being watched. It raised goose bumps on my arms and caused hair to prickle at the back of my neck.
Edward didn't seem to have noticed anything. It was odd, being able to hear things that I'd never been able to hear before. Even more strange, was being able to hear things that other vampires couldn't hear.
"What is it?" Edward asked, concerned. I decided to push it to the back of my mind. It was probably just me being paranoid anyway. No need to make others worry over something I wasn't even sure about.
I shrugged, "Nothing. I'm just a little stressed." It was true, to an extent. Edward seemed to accept this explanation and took my hand in his, hoping to soothe my nerves as we walked towards my father's final resting place.
"Bella…" he said quietly. I looked at him questioningly, "Are you absolutely positive you want to go to this?" We stopped by two ancient-looking, rusted gates that the words La Push Cemetery curved into the metal. "Once we go through these gates, there's no turning back," he warned.
"I'm positive, I can't put this off any longer," I said, my voice shaking slightly. "If I don't say goodbye now, I may never get another chance…" He nodded in understanding and we both stepped slowly beyond the gates.
(A/N: I'm a little iffy about this chapter. Something about it just seems a little… off. But that could just be because I haven't written in so long(Which I am still insanely sorry for). Anyway, please let me know what you think and hopefully I'll get my lazy self into gear with writing again. I've missed my story lol. )