Title: Teenage Girl Speak

Rated: G

Summary: Where House realizes that being able to annoy people is actually genetic.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Joss owns all things Buffy. Fox owns all things House.

AN: I'm thinking of making this into a longer work, but for right now it's just a little short. This is the first time I've ever written for House, so if they're out of character, I am sorry. And I wrote this in like an hour, so, if it's really bad, I apologies for that as well.


House narrowed his eyes at the twelve-year-old who sat across from him. Her impish grin seemed almost wolf like as she watched him right back. He knew what it meant. Her apparently inherited observation skills, which were far to developed for someone her age, had been able to pick up on something about the other party. Something that they weren't going to like because it was either embarrassing or annoying. House had seen that grin quiet a bit since she and her older sister had come to live with him after their mother died, but he had never seen it directed at anyone but Buffy before.

Not that it really mattered what she said anyway. If she was too annoying, then, well…That's why parents like him made boarding schools, right?

"What?" he asked.

The grin turned into a smile.

That was never good.

"You so like her."

He raised an eyebrow. "I don't like anybody."

Dawn rolled her eyes and sighed. Did teenagers practice that daily in front of the mirror?

"You so do, and you know it."

"I do not," he said. "And who's this imaginary person that I'm supposed to like, anyway?"

The grin had returned as slowly looked over her shoulder. House followed her gaze. Outside of his office, Cuddy and Wilson where have a rather animated discussion, probably some patient of his that he managed to offend while he was busy trying to save their pathetic life or broke some stupid hospital rule while saving some patients life.

Dawn raised an eyebrow. House frowned.

"You know, Wilson doesn't like it when you call him a girl."

"You like her," Dawn sang. "You like Cuddy."

Boarding school, definitely.

"No," he said. "I - ."

"You want to date her," Dawn continued on.

Boarding school. Somewhere far, far away.

"No, I want -."

"To marry her, I know."

Somewhere far, far away. And cold.

"I want to have sex with her," he said. "But that doesn't mean I like her. At all."

"Uh huh," Dawn said, ignoring his comment. She was really too good at that.

"Fine, I'll put this in a way that your hormonal-driven teenage-brain can understand." Careful not to jar his leg, he leaned forward. "Cuddy, eww."

"Did you really just say 'eww'?"

Wilson stood in his doorway, a file griped loosely in his hand. That familiar confused look was firmly on his face.

"Seriously," Wilson said when House didn't answer right away. "Did you just say 'Cuddy, eww'?"

Dawn looked even more pleased than she had a moment before.

House found himself wondering what the boarding schools in Russia were like.