Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or it's characters, only the plot.
Warning: Inappropriate language is used throughout this fan fiction.
"Kill Or Be Killed"
By Clarissa Frey
Looking down at the helpless vampire before me, I couldn't help but grin. Meticulously I had rid the masochistic creature of its limbs, a necessary process. You see, most vampires I killed were delivered quick deaths, but some vampires, such as the one currently lying before me, fear written all over it's unnatural face deserved slow and painful deaths. Luckily for me, I was the ideal 'specimen' that attracted vampires; frail looking and my sweet scent was what drove them to me in droves.
I stared down at the singly word uttered. Those creatures never spoke once they had been separated from their limbs, almost like they knew of their pending doom. This made me wonder why this particular vampire talked to me.
"It has to be done"
I told it coldly as I readied the little kerosene bottle by attaching the long, thin nozzle that spat out fire when I clicked a button, the fire was generated with kerosene and this made it an an effective tool for dealing with them. This vampire in particular thought it could wrangle it's way out of death by babbling on about changing it's habits, turning vegetarian, which made me laugh.
"But it's true, there're others who drink the blood from animals only"
In response, I lit the torch on fire and brought the flame up to where the line of kerosene started. Soon, the dirty bloodsucker was being enveloped in flames. Leaning against the cold marble pillar, I wondered why the bloodsuckers weren't susceptible to holy water, sun light, wooden or silver stakes and garlic and I wish they were because it would make my job of hunting and killing vampires a whole lot easier. You see, it gets annoying having to continuously suck the venom out of your own body when you are bitten by overzealous vampires who believe they have a sense of humour by biting you on the right collar bone, on your hips, just above your belly button and finally branding you with a Celtic cross on your arm.
How I managed to throw napalm or fire in general on them whilst in an extraordinary amount of pain was a mystery to everybody though I used my immunity to the vampires' abilities and my quick reflexes as an excuse. I wasn't an assassin but not quite a mercenary either, you cannot kill a vampire and seeing as society as a whole thought vampires were stuff for the fairy tales, the people who did come to me to do business paid me big time for it.
His little warning amused me greatly as somehow, the bloodsucker didn't seem to comprehend that I didn't give a damn who came to avenge his 'death' because I'd have a flamethrower on their ass before they could say 'did you kill him?'
Finally, the creature turned to ash and picking up my shovel, I scooped the ashes into a plastic bag, picked up my backpack and leisurely strolled to my ancient truck. Sure, it only went as fast as forty miles an hour but it was like a wannabe tank. My phone rang as I headed down the highway, startling me slightly. Upon answer, I discovered that it was the client who had hired me. The client thought it ironic that I would place the vampire ashes in a plastic bag.
"It would be dead obvious to everybody that I was doing something weird and suspicious if I went around carrying funeral urns with me all the time"
The client chose to ignore me rather than reply. Good choice for him because he spared himself from being verbally abused; I wasn't really in the mood to deal with ignorant clients.
"Thank you again Ms. Swan and do call me to confirm that your payment has come through"
"I'm glad to be of some service"
I hung up the phone and finally pulled into the drive of my home. Since Charlie, my father had left, moving down to La Push for his safety at my insistence, the house had become lonely and cold. As if I didn't hate Forks enough as it was.
Grabbing the bag of ashes and my gym bag which held everything I needed, I headed inside, unceremoniously dumping the bag in a box labeled 'vampyre remains' which sat next to the umbrella stand. The kitchen beckoned to me through my hunger and pressing the button on the answering machine to check if anybody called as I walked through the living room to the kitchen, I found that I had one new message as I began to salvage food from the fridge and pantry as the message played back to me.
"Hello Ms. Swan, I'm calling to inquire about your services…"
The prospective client kept going on and on and I wondered if she just liked the sound of her own voice. Finally a contact number and a name was listed and sitting at the table with my food, I dialled the number to return the call. After three rings it was answered by one of those phone prompts, man I hated them with a passion; I would've hung up if it didn't involve me dealing with another vampire. Finally I was sent through to the appropriate person and our conversation began.
"Thank you for replying so promptly Ms. Swan"
"It's not a problem"
"Are you aware of the vampires who are 'hunters'?"
I found it very interesting that the potential client would mention them. The woman on the end of the line made the whole thing sound like I was a rookie. How insulting.
"I am. They're vampires who hunt slayers such as myself. What do they have to do with anything?"
"This particular hunter has been picking off my men."
I raised an eyebrow. So this woman most certainly had some cobwebs in her closet, very interesting news to hear.
"Obviously your men have been drawing attention to themselves"
I told her coolly. If there was one thing I could pride myself on, it was my total secrecy and my inconspicuous methods of disposing of bloodsuckers, I had been taught well- a no brainer because I was taught by vampires and shape shifters.
"I wanted someone to deal with him, you obviously know what you are doing and I have spoken to people who you have hired you previously. You do your job effectively it seems and you were highly praised in your services"
'Spare the praise, if you want me to do it why don't you just ask?' I thought bitterly. I was jarred from my thoughts by the client asking if I was still on the line.
"I'm sorry ma'am, I was looking for my diary."
I lied smoothly and then, we arranged a time convenient for tomorrow for us to have an interview, more for the clientele than me. I didn't really care about seeing my clientele, as long as I got my money and killed bloodsuckers, I so wasn't complaining. After that interesting interlude in my evening, the night passed like it always did- it rained and I spent my time alone refilling the bottle of kerosene and gas bottles before turning into bed, shivering from the cold. Did I mention that I hate the rain and the cold?
Morning dawned via the shrill ring of my alarm clock and dragging myself out of my warm, warm bed, I stumbled into the no-longer communal bathroom, showered and dressed. I had to drive to Port Angeles to get a waiting plane to Seattle to meet this new client of mine, which was lucky for me as my previous client resided in Port Angeles so I could drop off the ashes on my way. Perfect.
I dressed myself in chocolate brown dress pants, a cream sweater and black boots, my hair was being nice to me today, hanging down my back in waves. Just as I was about to run out of the door, coat hanging off of my shoulder uncomfortably the phone decided to ring.
"Is this Ms. Swan?"
"Yes, who's calling?"
The loser gave me their name and who they were working for and then proceeded to ramble on about the benefits of switching from electricity to gas, which I already knew. Electricity didn't kill bloodsuckers, though it did disarm them of whatever weapon they were carrying. I hung up on the guy, locked the door and jumped into my truck just as it started raining. Brownie point for me. Shivering despite the thick coat I wore inside the cab, I started the truck and let the cab warm up before removing my coat and driving off.
Pulling up in front of my best friend Jake's house, were Charlie was currently staying, I hopped out after grabbing the box of belongings and dashed through the rain and leaped nimbly over a huge puddle, landing on the front porch. I knocked on the door once, jiggling on the spot to keep myself warm and the wooden door flew open to reveal Jake wearing nothing but a pair of pants. I can confidently say that Jacob Black and his friends are the only super naturals that I like and can be within a one inch radius.
Shivering, I opened the wire door and let myself inside, purposely putting my cold hands against Jake's hot torso. He jumped from the cold but the heat radiating from his body made my hand tingle as it regained warmth.
"Not of all of us can have body temperatures of 105 degrees you know"
I muttered to him as I walked through the forest smelling house and into the kitchen where Charlie and Jake's father Billy were sitting, eating breakfast. I set the box down beside the lounge before kissing Charlie's cheek in greeting and then dragging a seat next to him and pulling a bowl towards me, filling it with food.
"Where are you heading too today Bella?"
Billy asked me. While Billy was fully supportive of me eradicating vampires for personal and other worldly motives, he was also against it for whatever reason; I wish he'd make his mind up about it.
"Another client, she mentioned something about a vampire hunter so I've got to drive up to Port Angeles and drop off the ashes of that rapist and then get a plane to Seattle."
Whilst I was talking I was multi-tasking by pouring Jake and I two bowls of cereal and sloshing milk into it. Sliding Jake's share to him, I began to eat quickly. I had a schedule today and I couldn't afford to be late.
"I want Jake to go with you"
Billy suddenly announced and I dropped my spoon and it clattered loudly on the table, making Charlie jump at the sudden noise.
"If it's about those hunters then I want Jake with you."
Jake looked delighted at coming along, though I was somewhat hesitant as the last time he was with me at an interview he had scared the client so much that said client didn't bother hiring me on the grounds of the 'company I kept', that stupid bastard. Two weeks later he was on the news, having died in a car crash…allegedly. I had later tracked him down and disposed of him properly because he had been turned into a vampire. After telling Billy this he had stopped smiling politely.
"Ring Quil or Embry then, it'll give them something to do."
Grumbling, I grabbed the phone and handed it to Jake. Telling him to ring his pack members and ask them if one or both wanted to join me himself. Finished with breakfast I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I often ate breakfast and occasionally dinner with the Black's and Charlie; it had become a daily routine, that and I still had some stuff here that I left from my long stay five years ago, there was a knock on the door.
"Bells, Quil is going to go with you to Seattle he'll be here in a minute."
Charlie called out to me. I frowned as I opened the door and nipped into Jake's room to borrow a jacket. If Quil was coming, I was going in his car. Heading into the rain, I pulled everything I would need out of my truck and dumped it onto the front veranda and dried it off with a towel that I found amongst all the garbage on the veranda. Quil pulled up barely a minute later and picking it all up I dashed back into the rain and threw it into the back seat of the car.
"Hey Bells, long time"
I dropped the ashes onto the floor and hugged Quil in greeting, Quil nodded at the ashes on the floor, a smile of satisfaction on his face.
"Who was that?"
"You know that rapist who raped all those teens? That's him"
Quil nodded and pulled away from the curb after I had waved goodbye to the blurs standing under shelter. The drive to Port Angeles went quickly and when I dropped the ashes off, the clerk stupidly asked if it was Quil that had done all the hard work.
"No actually, I was the one who tracked the creep down and burned his ass. Don't make assumptions based on appearances and size"
I stormed off and Quil saw it fit to tease me for the entire trip to the airport. Even at the airport they mocked me, obviously this Tanya woman (so she called herself) hadn't told them who I was, only my name.
"Welcome Miss Swan"
"It's Ms actually."
I marched past the one person welcome party and onto the plane. Once seated and in the air did the man start giving us idle chitchat that I wasn't interested in.
"So you're the vampire slayer?"
The guy had introduced himself as this Tanya person's secretary and his question was directed at Quil, whilst Quil laughed and tried to correct him, I seethed next to him at the assumption…again.
"I am actually."
The secretary looked at me once and laughed. I glared at him, wanting to prove it to him but that involved kicking his ass off the plane and I don't think Tanya would appreciate that. She'd need her secretary to do all of her dirty work, like insulting me for example, but on the other hand, being rid of the bastard was so tempting. Damn it.
"I kid you not good sir"
The secretary whose name I had forgotten still didn't believe me. Quil and I exchanged looks of disbelief.
"Can you prove it?"
How childlike. I smirked as I started taking my coat off. The secretary flinched when he saw the gun in the holster. Though generally ineffective at stopping vampires, if you shoot one in the mouth a few times, it'll get the hint that your dangerous, giving you a few minutes to start running away, the same applies to knives. I managed to shave an entire vampire by throwing a machete at her. Pulling up my shirt and slightly pushing my pants down to expose my hips I showed the smart ass my scars.
"Proof enough you smary smart ass?"
I snarled. The secretary just gaped and I opened my can of Pepsi and downed about half of its contents in true La Push style.
"You can close your mouth now"
Quil suggested. I could hear the laugh in his voice. The trip passed relatively fast after our pleasant conversation and it was with much relief that I left the plane and turned to face the woman in front of me when the small jet had finally landed.
"Hello Ms. Swan, it's a pleasure to finally meet you."