Realized Fear

Fears Realized

Loki watched from where he sat at the side of the road as Bartleby slapped the muse, Serendipity, aside. He winced in sympathy for how much that strike must have hurt. He watched through his drunken haze as Bartleby admitted that he knew exactly what he was doing. He watched and listened with mounting horror as he heard Bartleby give Bethany almost the exact same rant that he had been given in the parking garage.

Loki clenched his eyes shut as he heard his best friend begin to sound like the Morning Star all over again. He heard Bartleby say how a group of cops would come and kill them just as they exit the church and how existence would end. With an awful start he realized that he could not let that happen. Not because he cared for the humans in any particular way, but because – even though his wings had been cut off – he knew that only the wicked deserved to be punished. The innocent didn't deserve to die. And even more than that, he couldn't destroy God's creation. He wanted to show God how much he missed her and needed her, not how angry he was at being banished in the first place.

Struggling to stand Loki interrupted Bartleby saying, "No. Hey! Hey! No, no. I can't let you do that Bartleby. This has gone too far" He threw the bottle that he had been drinking from away and approached Bartleby. "I'm gonna have to take you down." Said Loki setting himself in fighting position.

"It's okay." Said Bartleby, patting Loki on the shoulder.

"I'll do it." Said Loki trying to convince himself more than anyone else that he had to fight his best friend to save all of God's creation.

Despite his best efforts, Loki found himself relaxing against Bartleby's touch as he held the back of his neck pressed their foreheads together – a sign of comfort that Bartleby often showed him if he woke from a nightmare. His arms dropped to his sides as he leaned into his taller friend.

"My compatriot." Said Bartleby. And Loki nodded once to show he was listening. "Genocide takes a lot out of him. He's weakened." Continued Bartleby as if he was talking to an audience.

"You're weak." Said Loki with a small smile, hoping that maybe his Bartleby was back and he was willing to listen to reason.

"More importantly he's also a human being." Bartleby's words set of an alarm in Loki's brain, but he couldn't place it exactly since Bartleby was still speaking in the same gentle tone of voice and holding the back of his neck. "A condition which carries two liabilities," continued Bartleby, "A conscience…"

Bartleby paused and his hand shifted from the back of Loki's neck to his shoulder. He patted Loki once, causing the blonde to look him in the eyes. And then Loki felt an unbelievable pain erupt in his side as Bartleby plunged the knife that he had been holding deep inside of him.

"And a short life span." Finished Bartleby as Loki gasped in pain and collapsed against him, his blue eyes wide in horror and disbelief. "I'm sorry old friend, but you lost the faith." Bartleby's voice was quiet and Loki could only stare at him as he struggled to fill his punctured lung with air. Staring into Bartleby's eyes, Loki realized that the Bartleby that he had known for most of eternity was gone; all that was left was this crazy Lucifer wannabe who wore his image. With a sharp, painful jerk, Bartleby pulled the knife out of his side and then let him fall face first to the ground.

Loki couldn't keep the tears from building up in his eyes as his deepest fears were realized. He hadn't been able to save Bartleby from insanity, he was dying and if God didn't intervene it was very likely that all of creation would be wiped out as well. He was almost glad that he was human simply because he could cry now. As he felt the blood running from his body, he heard the sounds of the Apostle and Serendipity fighting to keep Bartleby from entering the church. He hoped they succeeded. This version of Bartleby shouldn't be allowed back in Heaven. This version of him wanted a war on God not to simply go home and be in her presence.

Loki missed that version of Bartleby, the one that felt sorry for the humans and kept him from going on killing sprees. His last thought as he died was if he'd ever be able to see that Bartleby again and a few unchecked tears slid down his cheeks as his spirit left his body.