A/N (PPB) - Sooo sorry for not updating in forever. *winces* I just had a lot of trouble with this thing. Anyway, the next chapter is here and I hope you all enjoy. (if anyone's still reading, that is.)
- thanks. :) hope you're still reading. enjoy the chappie and the ending... hehe :)
bellaedward12345 - lol. thanks. That one word makes my day. XD Enjoy this one.
Leon McFrenchington - okay, so I've tried to take on board everything you've said. I hope this is all right. Enjoy anyway, at least I can say I tried. :)
ClamKidToTheRescue - ...okay, so now I feel really bad. I know this should be updated by now but here it is. Sorry for the lateness.
Zoella De Vil - Hell yeah. lol. Glad you enjoyed it.
looneybaloony - Glad you liked it. If you're still waiting, here's the next chapter. :)
soccerplayer18 - technically, I'm still going with this. lol.
twilightlover121 - My lips are sealed. Wait and find out...(though God knows how long that'll take XD)
Now here we go....
I stepped out of the car and onto the cracked sidewalk. Alice and Rosalie were already out and waiting for me to follow, we were going to head towards a small café that Edward would be sitting in; waiting for Alice.
"He should be there now, c'mon, Bella. Hurry up." The little pixie was now gesturing for me to catch up with her and Rosalie impatiently, stomping her feet theatrically.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming." I muttered, letting some of my unhappiness show.
Rosalie raised an eyebrow at my expression and I tried to lighten it, I didn't want to talk about how much I was hurting.
The thing was I knew that I'd feel better if I told them…but I couldn't. They'd probably think I was just weak, a piteously weak human. But I was doing so much better than last time and they could see it. They were surprised but seemed to guess that my zombie phase had made me stronger. But I wasn't strong enough. I still pined for him but it was pushed to the back of my mind, more like background music compared to blaring music at a nightclub.
I still needed to see him though; I was like an addict trying to break my addiction.
I sighed and followed the two vampires, Alice was chatting away to Rosalie and me, not seeming to notice that I was no longer paying attention.
I was watching mother and father birds bringing food to their babies in their nest and felt a pang. I'd never have that with Edward, even if we were together.
Looking at the painfully beautiful faces of the two immortals beside me, I almost cried. I would never look like that, I'd always be just plain Bella, and nothing Alice could do would ever change that.
Suddenly I felt ridiculous and inadequate. What had I been thinking? I could never match up to Rosalie, even if she dressed down. I probably looked like an ugly duckling beside two gorgeous swans.
Feeling tears starting to form, I turned and ran off to the public toilets just at the bottom of the street.
Once there, I locked myself in a cubicle and let my tears come. They tumbled down my face and splashed onto the floor, ruining my mascara and eyeliner.
I'd been an idiot. How had I honestly believed that anything that Alice could do to me would make me as jaw droppingly gorgeous as they were?
My self confidence shattered like a pane of glass and I knew that I'd never be able to pick up all of the little pieces.
I would always be plain old Bella and nothing Alice could do to me would change that.
Now I saw why Edward hadn't loved me and why he had left me before. I was nothing special; in fact, I was probably the most average human on the planet.
Suddenly someone banged on the door to the cubicle I was crying in, "Bella? Is that you?"
It was Rosalie, she must have followed me.
I sniffled, "Yeah."
"Are you alright?" She asked me, obviously knowing that I was anything but.
"No. I look ridiculous and ugly; no wonder Edward never loved me." I sobbed more.
"Don't be stupid, Bella, you're gorgeous. You just have to believe it, it's all about confidence, and, for the record, Edward did, no, does love you. I don't know what made you think he doesn't." She told me gently.
"I'm not gorgeous, I'm plain and ugly." I shook my head vigorously, "Edward never loved me; it was all an act."
"Bella." She sighed, exasperated, "You're the prettiest human I know and you need to believe it. Please, open the door."
I did, letting her see my tear stained face and puffy eyes.
"Now, about Edward, he loved you and still does. He thinks you're the most amazing person in the world and never lied to you. He's beating himself up right now because he knows how great you are and that he's lost your trust. He loves you so much. Why can't you see that?" She hugged me tightly.
I wasn't expecting that and stiffened at first but then hugged her back.
"He doesn't love me. He lied to me once, he told me he didn't lov-" Then I understood.
He hadn't lied to me; he'd told me the truth that day in the forest. I'd had it wrong, he hadn't lied to me then, he had been trying to get rid of me so he could be with someone else. He had lied about everything else; he had never loved me and had tried to put me straight that day but now he was back to the old pretence of loving me.
"Bella?" Rosalie asked, unsure of why I'd broken off midway through a sentence.
"He didn't lie then. He told me the truth in that forest. He never loved me." I started crying again onto her shoulder.
"You've got it all wrong." She sounded frustrated now, "He loves you, and I know it. I've never seen him so happy until he met you; you're his life, Bella."
I continued to sob, "No I'm not. He doesn't love me, he never did."
Rose grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me right in the eye.
She ordered, "Bella, look at me." I looked. "He. Loves. You. Stop being so stubborn and try to believe me."
"I…I can't." I looked down at the grimy tiled floor, away from her face.
"I'll wear you down eventually and then you'll thank me." She told me, getting up and pulling me with her to the sink.
She splashed my face with ice-cold water that made me shiver and started drying my face and fixing my make-up. "If Alice saw what you'd done to your make-up you'd be dead right now."
"Lucky she didn't then," I tried to smile, letting Rosalie fix my eye make-up and foundation.
She sighed, "Bella, you're one disillusioned girl. I can't believe you made yourself believe that Edward doesn't love you." She shook her head tiredly, sick of trying to convince me otherwise.
I waited for her to finish fixing me up, mulling over what she'd told me.
She'd said it with such conviction that I'd believe her if I didn't believe so fully the exact opposite. Why would he have loved me anyway? It had never made sense, even when I believed it to be true.
"Finished." She smiled, putting away her make-up bag. "Now, let's go and make a certain person very jealous." She winked and linked arms with me, strutting out of those dingy public toilets and back out into the typically overcast day and the warm air.
I saw Alice waiting impatiently further up the street, looking slightly worried but that look quickly faded when she saw Rose and I.
She motioned for us to hurry up.
I half smiled; Alice had to be the most impatient person on the planet. That and the Queen of shopping.
We sped up and she joined up with us.
"So, what was all that about?" She asked.
"Nothing." I said quickly, too quickly.
Rose answered casually, "Bella just got a bit down, it's not really an issue."
Alice's eyes bugged out of their sockets, "Bella! You're not depressed, are you? 'Cause you can tell me if you are. Cutting is not the answer!"
I almost laughed, "Relax, Alice. I just had a little shortage of self confidence."
She looked relieved. "Thank God! I don't what I'd have done if you were cutting."
"No, silly. I'd never do that."
Then, with vampire speed, she gave me a tight hug.
"Can't breathe." I managed to get out.
"Oh, sorry." Alice laughed, letting go of me, "I keep forgetting that you're still human."
"I think you're the only one." I replied dryly, a bit of my bad mood coming back.
"Oh, Bella. There's nothing wrong with being human. It actually has a lot of perks." The little pixie chirped happily.
"You can have a proper family if you want to, with the right guy." Rosalie sighed, looking melancholy. She would look at that aspect, of course.
"You don't have to worry about eating the people around you." Alice added.
"And, you don't have a burning pain when you're thirsty or feel like you're a monster sometimes." Rosalie finished, raising an eyebrow as if she was daring me to disagree.
"But-" I began.
Rose gave me a death glare. "Don't put yourself down, Bella; being human is a lot easier than being what we are. You're lucky; you have a choice about this. None of us had."
"Look on the bright side, Bella, you still have that whole Volturi deal if you really want to be changed." Alice added happily.
"Just don't waste the days you have while you're human, make the most of it before you have to keep your instincts in check the whole time." Rose smiled, then, seeing that we were nearly at the café, added with a wink, "Remember, confidence is key."
I gulped, "Oh no."
"No backing out now, Bella. You've got to do this." Rose told me, giving me a little push and an encouraging smile.
"You're going in, one way or another…" Alice told me, looking scarily serious.
"No buts. Today you're the new ultra confident Bella. Nothing fazes you." Rosalie grinned, trying to help ease my fear and nervousness.
I took a deep breath.
You can do this, Bella, all you have to do is go in there and flirt with some guy at the counter. Easy. You're a powerful, confident and independent woman. You can do this. This is all just to show him that you can move on without him. Don't show how much you're hurting.
I nodded, my internal pep talk giving me some confidence that I'd never realised I'd had. "Okay. We're going in."
Alice and Rosalie looked at each other, grinning, proud that they'd finally managed to make me the confident woman I could be.
"Right with you, sister." They said in unison, beaming like two proud mothers.
Taking a deep breath, I pushed open the door to the café where Edward was waiting for Alice at a small table, a frown furrowing his eyebrows together.
My breath caught as I saw him but I kept my calm, cool and confident façade in place, not letting him see the hurt and longing I still held for him.
He looked up as I came in. I turned my head away, not catching his eye and losing my self in that topaz heaven.
I thought I heard an intake of breath as I walked by his table.
A small smirk played on my lips, this felt good.
I sauntered over to the counter, all eyes were on me, and kept an innocent expression on my face.
"C-can I help you miss?" The guy at the counter asked me, he looked around the same age as me. I recognized him from school.
"Um…yeah. Can I have a coffee please?" I faltered, embarrassed for a second.
How the hell was I supposed to flirt with some random guy? I'd never had to bother with any of that with Edward and I had absolutely no experience with this stuff.
"Sure." He mumbled, going a bit red as he began pouring out my coffee.
While I waited, I surveyed the room, though I avoided that particular spot. The Café was pretty full, a lot of kids from school wound up here during the weekends.
Alice and Rose were sitting as far from Edward as possible, grinning and winking madly at me.
I felt myself go a bit pink. How many people were looking at those two? Dropping my gaze to the floor, I turned back to the counter.
My coffee was sitting on the counter, just made. I noticed that the guy's apron was stained with a huge splash of coffee.
"That'll be $1.84, please." He stuttered, face still burning.
I groped around in my pockets for change and came out with a $2 bill.
"Here you go." I smiled.
He took it off me and opened the till, fumbling with the change.
Once he'd figured it out and handed it to me, I threw the change into the tray for tips.
Giving the poor guy a parting smile, I turned around and headed towards Alice and Rose's table.
Only I didn't get there.
Someone stepped right in front of me, nearly making me drop my coffee.
He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the shop.
"We need to talk." He hissed in my ear.
That voice. It made my legs turn to jelly.
I looked back at my two friends, my face practically screaming help!
They just shrugged helplessly, Alice giving me a tiny thumb's up.
The door slammed shut in my face.
And then I was alone with someone I really didn't want to talk to.
This could get interesting.
A/N (PPB) -And I leave you with a cliffie. Mwahaha! I'm evil. (seeing how it'll take me forever to get the next chapter going.) Hope you liked, review please. I'd like to know that people are actually reading this thing.
love ya, PPB xxx :)