Date Originally Posted: October 14, 2008
Title: We Thought It Was Shampoo
Series: D.Gray-Man
Rating: PG-13 to be safe
Characters: Miranda Lotto, Arystar Krory
Pairing: Miranda/Krory…I guess.
Spoilers: I guess up to chapter 165

Word Count: 1,091

A/N: Um. Not to be taken seriously I guess. I was just amused at the Science Division making such strange potion things. And yes! I love D.Gray-Man. I just got into it. I adore Miranda and Krory.

What genre should I put this as?


We Thought It Was Shampoo

Miranda couldn't sleep. She supposed it was because of all her sleepless nights back in Germany. Besides, it didn't help that she often invoked her Innocence for as long as she could stand it in the training room. Which was why she wandered the halls dressed in only a nightgown and robe.

She had stopped by Lenalee's room to ask if the girl had any extra shampoo. She had just used the last bit that night and knew she would forget about it the next time she was going to shower. Luckily, the younger woman did have some.

Next, Miranda had asked Komui if he had any reading materials she could borrow. After a failed attempt to coerce her into doing his paperwork, Reever intervened and handed Miranda a stack of books.

This was how Arystar had found Miranda; attempting to balance a glass bottle on top of stack of books so tall, she couldn't see over them.

"M-miss Lotto!" he called as he scurried up to her. "Let me help you!"

"Krory?" Miranda's muffled voice whimpered.

Arystar reached for half of the books and pulled them into his arms. The glass bottle tip precariously. Miranda managed to balance the rest of her book and still grab the bottle before it fell.

"Ah!" she squeaked. "Miss Lenalee let me have this. She said someone gave it to her. She thinks its shampoo and I'm all out. She's so kind."

Arystar nodded.

Then Miranda tripped on the stone floor and the bottle smashed into pieces. Red smoke poured out of the bottle and engulfed her. Arystar panicked. He dropped the books on his foot causing him to hop around in pain. Then he lunged for Miranda as he realized she was fainting. Arystar luckily managed to catch her before she got hurt any further.

"M-miss L-lotto?" he tried gently patting her cheeks. "Miss Lotto?! W-wake up! You're just sleeping, r-right? M-miss Lotto?"

Arystar could feel the tears filling his eyes, threatening to spill over. She had to be sleeping. She only fainted. After all, the smoke hadn't affected him. She was going to be okay. Nothing was wrong. By now the tears were spilling down cheeks and landing on Miranda's face.

"Arystar? Are you crying over me?" Miranda's voice, strangely low, spoke up. Her dainty hand rose to caress his cheek.

"M-miss Lotto?" Arystar squeaked, his face flushing.

"Of course, silly. Who else?" Miranda straightened herself. She leaned up close to Arystar to whisper, "You're so sweet," and place a kiss on his cheek.

Arystar's nose erupted with streams of blood.

Then she pounced.

Arystar let out a squeal as Miranda none-to-gently shoved him into a wall and began to kiss his neck. She growled unhappily as the collar of his shirt blocked her way. With a burst of unusual strength, she ripped his shirt open sending buttons flying in every direction. As she continued to kiss his neck and collarbones, Arystar stood frozen. Eyes wide and blood still trickling from his nose.

"Ah er-um…M-m-m-miss L-l-lotto?" he managed to stammer out.

"Miranda," she replied between open mouthed kisses to his chest.

"M-m-miss M-mirandaaa-eek!" Arystar shrieked as he felt her tiny hands squeeze his backside.


Komui skipped happily down the halls. He managed to ditch Reever and the rest of the division using his cunning intellect and unrivaled genius. Oh, and a little help from the latest Komurin.

He was a man on a mission. Find Lenalee to tuck her into bed and then find coffee. His mission was set aside as he heard a high pitched yelp from around the corner.

He prayed it wasn't more Akuma that had managed to infiltrate the Black Order Headquarters. He was hoping that perhaps someone had angered Jerry again and was simply being punished. It was most likely some new worker mistook Kanda for a female and was now being skewered with the Exorcist's Mugen.

However, he was not expecting to find the shy German, Miranda Lotto, straddling the meek Arystar Krory in the middle of the hallway for anyone to see.

He didn't really care about the extra relationships the Exorcists had as long as they were discreet and didn't affect their abilities. However, such behavior in a hallway where Lenalee could see and be corrupted? Unacceptable!

"Miranda! Krory!" he said in a stern voice.

"H-help m-m-me! Ouch!" Arystar cried. Miranda merely looked up, her teeth still latched to Arystar's ear.

Then Komui saw it. The broken remains of the bottle. His thoughts, however, were cut short by a shout.

"Komui! Get back here and sign these papers!" a herd of the division led by Reever flooded the hallway.

"Master!" the Komurin wept as it ran into its maker.

"Whoa!"

"I didn't know that Exorcist could be so aggressive!"

"Should he really be crying?"

"Someone restrain Miranda," Komui ordered. "Komurin. Make an antidote of whatever was in that bottle. "Someone also take Krory to the nurse."

Komurin quickly identified the mixture and whipped up an antidote. It gave Miranda a quick shot causing her to go lax.

The next day, Komui stood between the two beds in the hospital wing. Miranda's body was a consistent shade of red from blushing while Krory was pale. He was attached to an IV of blood to replace all the blood he lost the night before. He was still sleeping due to the sedation he was given.

"Miranda, who gave you that, well for lack of better words, seduction potion?" Komui asked.

"I-I-I got it from Lenalee," she murmured. "But we thought it was shampoo! It wasn't her fault! Someone gave it to her!"

"Really?" Komui's eyes glinted dangerously behind his glasses. He whipped out the giant drills and other machinery that was used to fix Allen's arm.

"D-did Allen get hurt?" Miranda asked.

"No," Komui smirked. "This is for whoever gave that potion to my precious Lenalee!"

Komui then ran out of the hospital laughing evilly.

"I-I had the strangest dream," Arystar's weak voice came from beyond the curtain divider.

Miranda couldn't bear to tell the man it wasn't a dream. That she did attack him. She decided it would just be a secret. Arystar would never have to know.

"Hey Kro-chan!" Lavi burst in the door loudly. "I found a bunch of your buttons in the hallway! Kinda weird how your name's on all of them!" Lavi cheerfully dropped all the buttons onto Arystar's bed. "Whoa! Look at that hickey!"

Arystar sank back onto his bed in a dead faint.