A/N: So I'm going to go ahead and upload this story. I've got one more chapter written, and I'll post it next Tuesday. Hopefully I'll have another chapter written by then, and I'll try to upload one a week. :) Wish me luck.
Disclaimer: The title and part of the plot of this story come from the song, "Drink, Swear, Steal, and Lie" sung by Michael Peterson. I do not own it, and unfortunately, nor do I own Life with Derek. Although if wishes were dollars, watching the show would have made me a millionaire by now.
Derek cracked his eyes in the early morning light, groaning as he rolled over to his side, facing the door
Derek cracked his eyes in the early morning light, groaning as he rolled over to his side, facing the door. What the hell woke me up? Groggily, he eyed his clock. Six in the fucking morning. He groaned and started to roll over when he heard stealthy footsteps passing his door. Then, Casey's door opened, but he never heard it click shut.
Derek stumbled out of bed and went to Casey's room. Her door was cracked, and he peered in through the space to see Casey changing clothes. His mouth went dry as he saw the smooth expanse of her tan skin. He waited until she was snug in her pajamamas before walking into her room, pushing the door shut behind him.
Casey looked over as she heard the door latch. "Der-ek!" she shrieked, albeit quietly. "Why are you in my room so late?"
He smirked. "Don't you mean so early, Space Case? I just wanted to see how your date last night was."
She stared at him suspiciously. "Late, early, it doesn't matter. It's none of your business."
"Hmm," he nodded, as if agreeing with her. "How do you think Nora and dad would feel to know you've missed curfew by six hours?"
Casey blinked, her face flushing red. "I d-did not," she stuttered. "I just went to get a glass of water."
"In the same outfit you wore out last night," he asked, brows rising. Bullshit, he thought to himself. "Some one needs to teach you to sneak around and lie, if you are going to insist on doing it."
"Oh, and I suppose the Great Derek Venturi is offering to teach lowly, little ol' me," Casey commented sarcastically, but Derek was nodding before she even finished her sentence. "Oh…. Wait, why?" she asked suspiciously.
"You are an embarrassment to the Venturi household." Smirking, he raised his eyebrow as he added, "even Marti is sneakier than you."
"What's the catch, Derek?"
He shrugged. "For every time you get caught, you owe me ten dollars."
Curiously, she asked, "do you expect me to get caught that often?"
"If you get caught, it will be because you weren't listening to me, or you let your 'morals,' 'ethics,' or 'emotions' get in the way," Derek said rudely. "That would mean that you were wasting my time. So, for every time you waste my precious time, you owe me ten dollars."
Casey growled at him and shook her head. "I don't want to be like you, Derek. I don't even like you."
Inwardly, Derek winced, but he kept his composure and his voice was cool as he told her, "you'll change your mind when you are grounded for missing curfew. Remember my offer, it won't be available long." With that, he stalked out of Casey's room, slamming the door behind him. He went upstairs to the attic silently.
"Wake up, Ed. I have a job for you."