CAJEN is finally here! If you'd like to betaread for me, let me know. I thought I'd put this up first, before sending it to anybody. So enjoy! (POV obvious, always remains the same)
I was sitting on the couch with Emmett. We were very bored. As in, extremely bored. This was due to the undeniably sad fact that Alice and Rosalie, once again, were gone on a two day shopping spree in New York City. So I sat there, on the couch, bored. Very bored.
Not only was I bored, but the bored-ness vibes radiating off of Emmett weren't really helping me get over it.
Carlisle and Esme were visiting their beautiful little island off of the coast of Brazil, Bella had taken Renesmee home for the night, and Edward had left to join them only a few minutes ago after a rousing game of backgammon. At least, Edward had considered it rousing. What kind of person actually likes backgammon anyway? Though, by the feel of his emotions as he departed, he was probably doing something a lot more rousing and a sight bit more fun than playing games with his brothers.
"Honestly, Emmett, with our wives gone, there is absolutely nothing to do at night."
We sat there for a few more minutes contemplating our situation, Emmett faking a yawn every now and then.
"So, what do you want to do?" I asked him.
"I don't know. Something. Anything."
I racked my large, vampire brain for something that would amuse us that we hadn't done in a while. Emmett turned on the television, but rather than disturb my deep thoughts with some loud cartoon, he put on a boring news show so that I wouldn't be distracted. The new caster announced the playing of some lethargic, hebetudinous speech made by the president earlier that day. Deep in my line of thought, I barely registered what he was saying.
Then, suddenly, his suit caught my eye.
And a tedium reducing plan was born.
"Emmett," I slowly began, "how opposed are you to breaking into a government building?"
Emmett chuckled softly in anticipation for what I would tell him. "Not opposed at all, little brother."
"Little brother? I'm older than you by more than thirty years, Emmett." I raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"Yes but I'm the bigger one. Physically."
"Right." Whatever you say, Emmett.
"So! Why are we going to be breaking into a government building?" he asked, anticipation once again his dominant emotion. A grin spread across my face, and an answering one swept across my brother's.
"I'll let you know on the way to DC."
We decided against airline tickets and so instead went with flat out running as a means of transportation. I knew Bella and Edward would be occupied for the rest of the night, and hopefully no one would be attempting to contact us until we returned sometime tomorrow morning. We figured that Alice and Rosalie would also be leaving us alone, due to Alice's fortunate ability to see the future. Knowing her, she had probably known about our adventure the minute she and Rose decided to leave us alone for the weekend. So we set off at breakneck speed, hoping to reach the nation's capital as soon as possible.
We arrived some short time later and sped through the city, coming upon the White House fairly easily. The White House has superior amounts of security, but their outdated security systems were no match for a vampire mind. That is, if we needed to disable them, which we didn't, being vampires and all.
We stood just inside the entrance to the building, in an alcove we knew was hidden from the cameras. Emmett whispered in my ear quietly, quickly. "Big Bear to Leo, Big Bear to Leo. Do you know where the President is supposed to sleep? Over."
Oh. I hadn't thought about that. "Um, that would be a negative." Emmett sat looking at me expectantly for a while. When I didn't say anything, he grew annoyed. "Jasper, please say 'over' when you finish talking. Over."
I rolled my eyes. Emmett could be very annoying sometimes. I sent excitement vibes rolling towards him, hoping to override the annoyance and amp up the readiness to pull a prank. But unfortunately for me, when Emmett decided we had to follow certain procedures, there was nothing in the world that could make his stubborn obsession with correctness fade. Except for Rosalie, of course. So it was basically easier to just go along with it. "No, I don't know where the President sleeps. Over."
We decided to split up and search for the President's bedroom. We roamed around without direction for a couple of minutes. Eventually the room was found by Emmett. Apparently the entrance was hidden in some secret way and I couldn't seem to figure out how to enter.
"Did you figure it out yet? Over." Obviously not! Lord, was my brother ever annoying.
"No…what? Over." I was literally going to beat him with a tree when I finally got in.
"Okay, Jasper, I'm going to tell you how to get in. Over."
Was he kidding? He had to be joking. "Why would you sit here and watch me struggle when you could have just told me all along?"
There was a silence for a moment, as if Emmett were waiting for something. Then quietly: "Didn't copy that. Over." He was taking this too far.
"I said, why would you sit here and watch me struggle to get in instead of just telling me how? OVER."
"Oh, that's better, I can here you now. Over. Did you figure it out yet? Over."
"You know, you're a jackass. For the record, I'm going to beat you with a tree when this is over."
"When this is what, Jazz? Over."
"I said, I'm going to beat you with a tree when this is over," I explained, fuming.
"When this is what? You gotta finish your sentence. Over."
"That's it. My sentence is over."
"Your sentence is what, Jasper. Over."
"My sentence is – Wait, I have to say 'over' even when the sentence ends in the world 'over'?" It was becoming extremely difficult to concentrate on the puzzling secret passageway.
"Ends with the word, what, Jasper? Over."
A new path to Emmett suddenly became clear to me. "Oh, I see how to get in now."
"See how to get in now, what? Over."
I formed a fist, pulled back my arm, and let it snap gently forward into the wall, effectively crushing it to dust. I grabbed Emmett by his lapels (against my better judgment; I knew full well the tongue-lashing Alice would give me if I ruined his shirt). Hauling him upwards before he could react, I threw the giant bodily over my head.
Luckily for me, I had kept my head enough to remember not to scream. I whisper-shouted the word, knowing it had been loud enough for Emmett to understand that I was screaming at him. Thankfully I had also remembered not to throw him too far, as he would surely have cracked the marble floors.
Unfortunately, these precautions ensured that Emmett was back on his feet in 1/64th of a second. But at least it let me vent my frustration a bit.
Emmett chuckled. "We have a job to do, Little Brother. We can wrestle later."
He was right. I glared at him petulantly before sighing and leading the way into the President's apartments.
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