Alice, Alice, Alice, I chanted inside my head. She was the only thought occupying my head as I zoomed through the countryside, passing state lines, clambering over mountains, leaping gracefully over rivers. She was my beauty. My everything. My world.

It was about three o'clock in the morning when my thoughts drifted off to other subjects. Edward and Bella would surely still be at their antics for at least a few more hours. I slowed to a light jog, and cruised along on autopilot at about sixty miles an hour. The thought of the emotions that would bombard me if I returned to the mansion now was not a comforting one. (This is a little confusing - the wording, I mean. Eh.) Experiencing emotions such as that was not my idea of fun. At least, not when they were someone else's emotions. When those particular emotions emitted from Alice, however...well, that's a whole different ball game.

Ball game. Baseball. James. Snacks. Mmm, snacks. I wonder if Florida panthers taste much different than mountain lions? I checked my watch. 3:02. I reviewed my travels in my head, and calculated that I was probably about a hundred miles into Wyoming from the western border of Nevada. I slowed to a stop and froze, closing my eyes and sniffing the air around me. I smelled a deep, tangy scent a bit off to my right and skipped 10 miles north to come upon a giant herd of buffalo. Ooh, buffalo.

What did I know about buffalo? I must have read an article on them somewhere...

A full gown adult male buffalo is about six feet tall, and weighs around 2000 pounds. Technically, American buffaloes are not in fact buffaloes, but bison. But no one really cares about that. In 1889 there were less than 1000 buffaloes in North America, and they were given endangered species status. Awww. Damn. Oh, wait, no! Today they are no longer on the endangered species list, as they number over 350,000 and the population continues to increase over time.

Thank you Wikipedia. (Hah!)

I settled into a hunting crouch and circled around the giant herd, coming in from the north-east so the wind wouldn't blow my scent their way. I tensed, about to strike.






(I had to go listen to this song after I finished reading. It's going to be stuck in my head all day now. :P)

What the hell? Someone must have changed my ringtone. The herd scattered, frightened by the noise. Well, that ruined my fun. I sighed, annoyed, and plucked my cell phone from my shirt pocket.

"What?" I snapped. Whoever was calling was going to pay.

"Hey, J-Dog! Wazzup witchu?" Emmett's voice echoed in the flat plains, sounding slightly muffled.

"EMMETT! What the hell!"

"Hey. So. I need your help." Yes, there was definitely something weird sounding about his voice. I remained silent.

"Um, yeah. I'm in a bit of a pickle," he said with a nervous chuckle at the silly expression. I still didn't say anything. I was thoroughly pissed.

Emmett cleared his throat. "So, yeah. Um, so you know how you buried me under the tree, right? Well, uh, I can't get out. I'm in a cave right now."

Ah. That explained why his voice sounded so flat.

"I dug a tunnel and I guess it ended up under a riverbed, so I'm kinda stuck under twenty feet of solid limestone."

So? "Break through it."

"Uh, yeah, see, that's the problem. I can't. I can feel through the vibrations that there are a few houses or buildings along the riverbank, and if I break it they'll all flood or sink into the river."

Huh. Not my problem. "I don't see why you called me."

"I need your help!"

"Nuh huh. You've completely ruined most of my night. I'm going to use the rest of it to entertain myself, and that most certainly does NOT include helping you get out from under a riverbed." And with that I snapped my phone shut and turned it off. Alice had the number to my special cell phone, the one that only received calls from her.

I sat down right where I was and pondered my dilemma. I was still hungry, but no longer in the mood for buffalo. I checked my watch again. 3:05. Hmm...were Florida panthers endangered?

My special-Alice-phone vibrated in my pocket. She was talking as soon as I had the speaker next to my ear.

"Jasper, I really can't talk right now but I just wanted to let you know that it would really not be a good idea to go to Florida right now. Just trust me. Okay I gotta go but I love you so much have fun getting into shenanigans with Emmett kay love you bye." The line went dead.


I let out a low whistle. That was quick even for Alice, considering I didn't even get a word in. But Florida was out of the picture now. What was I supposed to do for the rest of the night? Ugh, I was sooo boreeed.

I grudgingly turned north-west and started to run again, heading home. At least there was TV. Maybe, if Emmett got out before the whole spectacle started, we could take bets on the reaction. All we had to do was keep the channel tuned to CNN...

Ooh! An elk! I sprang mid-stride and leapt onto his back, wary of the antlers. I fed quickly, not caring if blood splattered on my already dirty shirt.

As I fed I thought about Emmett. About how annoyed with him I was. About how he had ruined my night. About how he had started this whole thing anyways, by suggesting that the girls go shopping in New York. About how I wanted to pound him into a pulp.

About how I wanted to decapitate him and send each individual body part to a different country on this Earth. (Wow oh wow. A bit violent, aren't we?)

I finished and headed home once again. And as I ran, I plotted revenge.

So this chapter is a bit of a filler, I know. Sorry. When I sat down to write today, that's just what came out. I know it's not as good as the others, but it *will* get better.

Also, if anyone else here is reading my other story, I made an announcement that I've decided to end it after 100 chapters.