Ichigo groaned as he slowly woke up from several hours of sleep. Still too tired to open his eyes, his brain tried to start recalling what he was doing before. Several images flashed through his head mostly of female Shinigami and Arrancar. The two groups seemed to be in some sort of ultimate battle while at the same time wearing the least amount of clothing possible. His brain quickly connected the dots.
'Man that was a weird dream'
Next Ichigo tried to move his body only to find that he couldn't. He could feel that he was in a sitting position but other then that every part felt that it was cramped and unable to move. This confusing fact took a few moments of mental deduction to figure out.
'I must have agreed to sleep in the closet so Nemu or Rukia wouldn't crawl over me again. I don't how Rukia does this; it is really cramped in here'
Mysteries solved, Ichigo was ready to go back to sleep. Just as he was starting to nod off, the light sound of purring reached his ear.
"Get away from me you stupid cat" he said in a low sleepy voice, "…Wait. We don't own a cat"
With all his strength Ichigo forced his eyes opened and came face to face with a large amount of pink fur. As such he reacted like any normal male would.
Ichigo had no way of knowing this but while he had been unconscious his popularity had increased slightly. In fact there had been several people out trying to locate the famed substitute Shinigami all this time.
"Itsygo" Nel called as her small green head popped out a trash can, "Where are you?"
The tiny Arrancar continued her search for Ichigo as she checked all the other possible hiding spots. A nearby park bench, a bush, even underneath a manhole cover were all searched but to no avail.
"Itsygo" Nel sniffled as she sat down on a street corner. "This game isn't fun anymore. Where are you…
…hiding to?" Grimmjow growled as he looked over the town from atop a tall building.
The sixth Espada had already been through the damn town three times and so far there had been no luck in finding his target. For that matter there hadn't even been the slightest hint of his reiatsu. As he leapt off to begin to his next search, Grimmjow made a vow.
"You can't hide from me forever Kurosaki. And when, I find you I'm going to…
…fight yeah! Get out your sword and let's go!" Kenpachi roared as he crashed through a wall and into someone's bedroom.
Kenpachi turned and looked at the bed immediately disappointed to find that it was not Ichigo in it. Its occupant, a rather ordinary teenager by the name of Keigo stared in shock as the scarred man.
"It's just a bad dream. It's just a bad dream" Keigo said as he pulled the bed covers over his face and desperately tried to go back to sleep.
The 11th division captain scoffed at the weakling.
"Where the hell…"
"…is he?" Hiyori growled as she looked across at the one person who would know the answer.
Kisuke Urahara sat on the steps in front of his store as he casually waved a fan in front of his face, "Why hello there Hiyori-chan. It's been far too long. Why just look at how much you have grown"
Hiyori immediately slammed her fist into Urahara's exposed stomach causing the shopkeeper to double over in pain.
"It's just like old times" he wheezed out.
"Look I can't sense Ichigo's reiatsu anywhere and besides our warehouse this is the only place that could hide it. I know that he is here"
"Well maybe Ichigo has just gotten better at suppressing his energy?"
"Yeah right and maybe Shinji has gotten better at not being a dumbass"
A long stare down went between the two before Urahara finally relented. "Alright, Ichigo is here. However I can't just let you have him"
Hiyori quickly started pulling on her hollow mask.
"Wait, you didn't let me finish. I can't let you have Ichigo but I can give you the opportunity to earn the chance to have him"
Hiyori watched with suspicion as her the eyes of her former captain gleamed with amusement. Glancing back into the store he yelled out.
"Excuse me Matsumoto but do you think we can fit one more player into the game?"
"Sure," Matsumoto yelled back, "Nanao is being a sulk and won't play"
"I am not!"
"What are you up to?" Hiyori asked.
"Oh nothing much. Just a little game I like to call…"
"Urahara's Ultimate Test of True Love Game Show!"
Amidst an explosion of brightly coloured smoke, roaming spotlights, and cheesy sound effect music, Urahara walked out on to the stage. Well technically the stage was actually the ground in his massive underground training area but no need to worry about such minor details. Kisuke usually outfit was replaced by a green and white stripped suit perfectly matching his bucket hat which was still on his head. Twirling a microphone in his hand, Kisuke quickly smiled at the assembled audience.
"Good morning ladies and gentle…well actually just lades" he said looking over at a set of bleachers which had an all female shinigami audience, "Today we have three contestants who are going to test their knowledge for a chance at true love. And now to introduce them, I'll turn things over to my lovely assistant Rangiku.
Matsumoto quickly appeared with her own microphone wearing a short glittering red dress that didn't even come close to hiding her legs or cleavage. As she began to speak another set of spotlights let up revealing three constant stands each with a girl behind them. Contestants one and two were smiling hopefully while number three was making killing gestures at the host.
"Contestant number one is a high school girl with a great body. Her hobbies include hanging out with friends and making great tasting food! Give it up for Orihime! Next is a good friend of mine whose is on medical leave from her lieutenant duties. Still her adorable looks make every guy wish they could be called Shiro-chan by her. It's Hinamori. And lastly we have contestant number three Hiyori who is actually a complete stranger to me. Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself sweetie?"
"Bite me" Hiyori replied back swiftly.
"Wow, you're a real charmer. Well back to you Kisuke"
"Thank you my dear. Now then our three contestants are going to answer a series of skill testing questions in order to wing the grand prize: a date with a mystery bachelor who we have hidden behind the curtain over there…"
"And who has apparently just woken up as well"
A large velvet purple curtain lifted up revealing Ichigo Kurosaki. The young man was still in his shinigami form but was now sitting a chair. Thick chains around his body along with several high level kido spells guaranteed that he could not escape from said chair. There was also an extra bit of restraint as a pinked furred cat girl with red hair currently was resting her head in Ichigo's head while gently purring.
Matsumoto was not impressed. "Bad Haineko. Bad kitty Zanpakuto. You know there's no playing with the game show prize.
Haineko lifted her head up a bit as she looked back at her owner, "I'm just taking a little cat nap. By the way that dress makes you look fat"
"At least I'm not covered in fleas"
"Go chase a mouse!"
Haineko stuck her tongue out before lying her head back down on Ichigo's lap, "You don't mind, right?"
"Of course I mind!" Ichigo yelled. "Why do have me locked up down here? Why is your Zanpakuto sleeping on me? For that matter why isn't your Zanpakuto an actual sword?
"Well you see…"
- A little while earlier -
Matsumoto had just finished trying on her dress very happy to see that it fit her perfectly. However she had noticed something else in the shop that she was curious about.
"Hey what's this thing?" she asked holding up a strange life size white doll, "There's a bunch of them stacked up in the corner"
Kisuke glanced up from organizing his question cards, "Hmm? Oh that is an invention of mine known as the Tenshintai. It's a training device for obtaining Bankai"
"Really? How does it work?"
"You stab your Zanpakuto into the doll causing your sword's spirit to materialize. After that you have three days to subdue it in order to obtain Bankai"
Matsumoto thought about that for a few moments. "So you're saying that I just have to put my sword into this piece of cardboard and my Zanpakuto spirit can hang out with me for the next three days?"
"Well technically yes although that's really not what it was intended for"
Matsumoto was already inserting her sword into the device, "Hey Momo. Come here and try this out"
Up in the stands, Tobiume's bells jingled as the small black haired Zanpakuto spirit jumped up proudly holding a sing that read: Go Momo Go! Yachiru also has a sign only hers said: Hi Ken-chan, I'm on TV! Bring me candy! The rest of the females were much quieter. Well unless the applause sign flashed over their head which they responded to right away.
"Any more questions?" Matsumoto asked as she smiled over at Ichigo.
Ichigo responded back with an 'are you stupid' look and then looked around first at his imprisonment and then at the entire game show set.
"Well you see Kurosaki, the chains and kido spells attached to you are for you protection. Aizen sent his Arrancar after you so we need to make sure they cannot reach you. Therefore for now we are keeping you here under our protection at least for the time being" Kisuke explained, "And as for the game, hmm what's the best for me to word this?"
"He got bored" Rukia called out from the audience.
"…Bored? You're doing this because you are bored?" Ichigo screamed as he started to struggle twice as hard.
"Now don't be angry Ichigo. Try not to think of your imprisonment and this game as bad things. Consider them tools in helping to recover from your deep seeded psychological fear of women. And we'll find if one of these ladies is able to help Ichigo do that when we start round one right after these commercials!"
The lights dimmed a bit as Jinta walked on to the stage with a clipboard. "Not bad people but keep going. We got a schedule to maintain here. Ururu, get a close up shot of mister grand prize over there for we come back live"
Ururu quickly adjusted camera three so that it focused on Ichigo's baffled face.
"Wait a second…you're actually filming this?" he asked.
Urahara turned his face to the side so Ririn could apply some powder to it. "Of course Ichigo. After all this is perfect blackmail material"
Ichigo lowered his face to the chains wrapped around his body and quickly started trying to bite through them.
"Also, Yoruichi wants to see this in full when she gets back"
Yoruichi took a brief look around as she entered into the establishment. Of all the places she would have expected Soifon to be at, a bar was nowhere near the top of the list. Granted there was a medieval weapons and torture shop a few doors down but drinking had never really been her former student's thing. Still she could sense Soifon's reiatsu here so it must be the right place.
"Soifon? Are you here?" Yoruichi called out while letting out a loud yawn, "Man, I wish I knew why I was so tired today"
The sound of laughter brought Yoruichi's attention to the main bar. There she saw the back of Soifon's head as she taking a sip of sake while talking with a redhaired girl next to her.
"So we all run out of the classroom," Chizuru was in the middle of saying, "And there we see Ichigo and this Renji guy on the floor straddling each other!"
Soifon let out a fit of laughter as she drowned the rest of her bottle. "Ha. I was unaware of this fact. My men are getting sloppy with their reconnaissance. Still, it does explain a few things about Abarai and the obsession he has concerning his captain"
At that point Yoruichi leaned in between the two while wrapping an arm around Soifon, "Hey there Soifon. I heard you were looking for me the other day. Who's your friend?"
Chizuru glanced up with blurry eyes as her glasses were almost completely fallen off her face. As she made out the figure her smile instantly brightened. "Hi. I'm Chizuru and you're hot"
"No, you're wrong" Soifon protested loudly. "Her name is not hot. Her name is the great and perfect Yoruichi-sama who I cannot live without!"
"Right" Yoruichi glanced at the counter where there was quite a large pile of empty sake bottles and saucers, "Soifon, how long have you been here drinking?"
"I stopped counting after eight hours"
Chizuru grinned at the dark skinned beauty as she leaned closer. "You're Yourichi? Wow. Here kitty, kitty, kitty…"
Yoruichi glanced at Chizuru with a confused look before leaning in and whispering into Soifon's ear, "Soifon please tell me that you have not been drinking with a minor all this time while revealing secrets about us and Soul Society"
The second division captain hiccupped in response. "Of course not"
"Yeah, that's right. I don't know anything about shinigami, hollows, or how your senile old leader is trying to make everyone have Ichigo's babies" Chizuru said.
Despite being drunk, Soifon could tell her beloved Yoruichi was not pleased with the way she was glaring at her. Taking another gulp of sake, she quickly formalized an acceptable explanation for her actions.
"It's a secret to everyone" she announced proudly.
"Yeah!" Chizuru cheered along with a few other drunken patrons.
"That's it young lady. You're in big trouble and are officially grounded. No more drinking for the next three decades!" Yoruichi yelled as she grabbed Soifon's ear and started dragging her by it out of the chair and towards the exit.
"You never let me have any fun Yoruichi-sama" Soifon cried.
Yoruichi took a brief glance back at Chizuru, "As for you kid, go home and sober up"
"Sure thing you cuddly sex kitten you. Bye Soifon. Call me later!" Chizuru looked around the bar as she pushed her glasses back up on her face. "Hmm, maybe I'll have one more bottle first"
"Chizuru, show yourself so I can kill you!" Tatsuki's enraged voice sounded from somewhere outside.
"To go please" she quickly amended proving that even when drunk, she knew when it was a good time to run away.
As the spotlights once more lit up on his face Urahara smiled brightly, "Welcome back folks to Urahara's Ultimate Test of True Love Game Show! Let's not waste anytime now and get started on the questions for Round One!"
Searching through his suit pockets, Urahara pulled out a pile of trivia cards and started to read the first one.
"Question one which is for five points. What famous writer does Ichigo admire?"
The three contestants thought about it for a moment and Orihme's contestant stand suddenly lit up.
"This one is easy. It's Richard Flannery"
A brief pause was followed by a loud buzzing sound effect to indicate she was wrong.
"Inoue, who is that?" Ichigo asked.
A confused look formed on the girl's face. "Don't you remember Kurosaki-kun? He's the author of 1001 Red Bean Paste Recipes. I gave you a copy of his book for your birthday last year"
"Oh right. His name slipped my mind for a moment. Sorry" Ichigo said quickly not wanting to admit that Orihime's gift was actually currently being used as a paperweight on his desk. "By the way Inoue, I'm sorry that you got dragged into this stupid stunt"
"It's all right Kurosaki-kun. I really don't mind" Orihime replied quickly not wanting to admit that she had begged Matsumoto to be a contestant on the show.
"Does anyone else have an answer?" Urahara asked.
Hinamori politely raised her hand. "Is it Captain Aizen?"
"Err…no" Urahara said slowly completely forgetting to signal the buzzer. "Why would you think that is the answer?"
"Well Captain Aizen did right several fascinating papers on kido use and application. I just thought that everyone had read them"
"Right. Well Hiyori, this is your big chance to steal the points and get an early lead. Do you have an answer?"
"How should I know?" Hiyori crossed her arms, "William freaking Shakespeare"
"What?" Hiyori gasped in shock.
"What?" Orihime repeated equally shocked.
"Next question. What are the names of Ichigo's sisters?"
"Annoying human number one and annoying human number two" Hiyori growled.
"Captain Aizen never had any siblings as far I know" Hinamori mused out loud, "I wonder if that made him lonely"
Inoue's hand slammed down on to her buzzer. "Yuzu and Karin" she yelled out before anyone else could correct their statements.
"That's right! Five points to you"
The red headed girl sighed with relief as the points appeared on her screen and she was now tied for the lead.
"Alright question three. What is Ichigo's preferred type of underwear?"
"What the hell? That's way too personal of a question!" Ichigo shouted.
"He is approaching" Captain Unohana announced to her co-conspirator as she stood inside her office, "Are you ready?"
Byakuya stared back at her with a displeased look on his face, "No. In fact I think there are several parts of this plan that we should further discuss before implementing any actions"
"Well it's too late for that now" Unohana replied back curtly as she shoved the Kuchiki noble into the centre of the room.
The 4th division captain worked fast. First she threw off her captain haori into a random corner with one hand while using the other one to mess up her hair. Next she yanked the front of her shinigami robes down revealing a small bit of cleavage. Finally with perfect timing she jumped into Byakuya's waiting arms while screaming the first thing that popped into her head.
"Take me Captain Kuchiki!"
Unohana stayed in his arms until a loud cough was heard from behind her. Slowly she slid back down to the floor and then turned to look at the doorway where the expected angry face of Yamamoto was waiting.
"Captain commander, what a surprise" Unohana said in a perfectly acted nervous voice, "What brings you here today?"
The old man did not look pleased. "Hanataro Yamada showed up at my office this morning while I was in the middle of an important meeting. He said that you required my immediate arrival here as you have reason to believe that I am suffering from the plague"
"I really must talk to that boy about his wild imagination" Unohana said sadly, "Still I guess that doesn't matter right now considering what you have just witnessed"
"And what pray tell have I just witnessed?" Yamamoto asked sternly.
"Why one of my illicit rendezvous with Captain Kuchiki as we've secretly been lovers for several decades now"
"So you mean to say that I walked in here while the two of you were being intimate?"
"As much as I am ashamed to admit it, this is the truth" Unohana said lowering her head.
Yamamoto's eyes widened a small bit as he overlooked the pair. "I see. Tell me Retsu. If you were just engaging in such acts then why are your clothes messed up and Captain Kuchiki's are on perfectly fine?"
Unohana shot a brief nervous look at Byakuya "Well…It's his flash step mastery sir. He is just so fast that he was able to get dressed the second he sensed you. And yet with all that amazing speed he is still quite gentle with me. It's one of the many things I can't resist about him"
"Captain Kuchiki, is everything that your fellow captain is saying correct? Have the two of you been in a relationship all this time?"
Byakuya's took a deep breath. The smart thing would to be to walk away here and now but unfortunately the smart thing never wanted to get involved with keeping his family elders happy or ensuring the safety of his sister from that boy. So instead he utilized another skill besides flash steps that he been previously taught by Yoruichi. That was the vital ability to lie with a straight face.
"Everything she has stated is corrected sir. For many years now Retsu Unohana and I have been in a deep passionate affair. My apologies for keeping it a secret but we wished to avoid a scandal from occuring. However I…I truly love her"
Yamamoto glanced back and forth between the two captains studying their faces closely. Finally he let out a sigh, "There will be serious repercussions for the two of you not informing me of this. However, we shall discuss that a later time. For now, I will leave and let the two of you resume your make out session. Have a good day"
The two captains waited until Yamamoto was gone before looking back at one another and relaxing a bit.
"Despite it being rushed and foolhardy, it seems that your plan worked" Byakuya admitted grudgingly.
"Yes, it was a pretty performance for our first appearance together"
Byakuya started to nod in agreement but then stopped suddenly, "First appearance?"
Retsu smiled back at him, "Of course my love. You do realize that it will take more then this for people to believe that we are a couple. But you do not need to worry. I have a schedule of events we can do together for the next few weeks to maintain the illusion"
Walking down the hallway, the captain commander slowly shook his head in disbelief.
"Really Unohana after all these centuries you still act like a child sometimes. If you did not want to take part in the Ichigo mission then you just should have just said something in the first place"
'This is it' Orihime thought to herself as she waited for the next question, 'You are going to win this and get a date with Kurosaki-kun. Then you can finally tell him how you feel'
'What about my feelings Orihime?' Another voice suddenly asked her.
Orihime turned around and was shocked to see a hallucination of Tatsuki standing next to her.
"Have you forgotten that I love you as well?" Tatsuki asked gently.
"Tatsuki-chan" Orihime said a in a nervous voice, "I do know of your feelings but I only found out about them yesterday. And well this is Kurosaki-kun and I…"
Orihime could not think of anything else and stared at the transparent form of her friend who was looking back at her with a sad look and a few tears sliding down her face.
"It's okay. I mean I'll be alone for the rest of my life since my athletic skills and tough girl personality will scare off any potential males. But don't worry Orihime, I'll be fine as long as you're happy" The illusionary girl managed a weak smile despite her eyes being full or sorrow, "I'll just be one of those people who grows into a fat old lady who has about twenty cats and bugs random people on the subway about how great she use to be in the old days. It'll be fun"
"No, Tatsuki-chan" Orihime said softly.
"Is Tatsuki-chan your final answer?" Urahara asked.
"What?" Inoue snapped out of her daydream to see Urahara staring right at her. She suddenly realized that she was just asked a question but never actually heard it.
"Umm, yes?" she said hopefully
Urahara glanced at his question card. "I'm sorry Orihime but Tatsuki is not the answer to what was Ichigo's score on his last math test. Oh my, nobody actually got that question right. However since Hiyori-chan was the only person that had a numerical response with her guess of zero, we'll let her have the points anyway!"
"You'll pay for this!" Hiyori protested, "This game is rigged"
"Well that does it for round one" Urahara announced happily to the mildly interested audience, "Let's check those scores. Matsumoto?"
"Right. Currently we have our surprise entrant Hiyori in the lead with 45 points. Trailing in second but not willing to give up the battle just yet is Orihime with 30 points. And in a so far behind its kind of pathetic distant third is Hinamori with a score of negative 70"
"Captain Aizen would be very disappointed in me right now"
Urahara looked over at contestant number two with a serious expression. "I'm sorry Hinamori but you said the A word again. That's another minus five points"
"Aww" Hinamori pouted as her score went down even further.
"If she says his name one more time, I'm going to start lighting things on fire!" Tobiume roared as she started to swing her fire bells around causing the rest of the audience to duck out of the way.
Urahara chuckled nervously, "Well with that delightful announcement that does it for round one folks. After a short break we'll back with the lightning round where the point values are doubled and the contestants will be in their lovely swimsuits"
"You never said anything about that, you perverted bastard!" Hiyori screamed.
Off to the side Ichigo had pretty much stop paying attention to the game in favour of trying to figure out a way to escape.
"Hey Haineko, if you let me out of here I can get you some nice tasty fish" he said in a low whisper.
The cat Zanpakuto spirit actually peered up from Ichigo's lap. "It really took you this long to think of that idea?"
"Yes" Ichigo admitted reluctantly, "So will you do it or not?"
"Well I could do it. I am a bit hungry. But then again I could go and find some fish for myself and not waste time freeing you " Haineko stuck out her tongue as she got off Ichigo's lap and walked away, "Chow"
"Ichigo, are you alright?" A voice asked.
Ichigo twisted his head to the side looking to see Isane and Nemu standing next to him, the two looking concerned.
"I would be better if you could get me out of here"
Isane bent down and looked at the chains and kido spells around them. "I'm sorry but these spells are beyond my skill"
"Well, umm I might be able to do something else for you" Isane said slowly as she started to move behind him.
Ichigo was confused at what Isane was doing until he felt a pair of hands on top of his shoulders which slowly started to massage them.
"You don't have to do…" Ichigo's comment was cut short if he felt several kinks built up from countless fights with hollows disappear all at once, "Wow, that's incredible. You're really good at this"
Since Isane was directly behind Ichigo, he could not see the small blush on her face. "It's nothing really. It's the least I could after what you did to keep me safe yesterday"
Before Ichigo could say anything else Nemu stepped forward with a small open box in her hands. "Are you hungry Ichigo-sama? I prepared some food for you" she asked formally.
Deciding that was a good enough answer, Nemu took a piece of food and quickly stuck it into Ichigo's mouth. Ichigo was a bit concerned as up till this point he would have doubted Nemu knew anything about cooking. Still his concerns were averted as soon as the food made contact with his taste buds.
"Hey, this tastes just like Yuzu's cooking"
Nemu nodded, "I asked your sister if she would instruct me on how to cook. Is it good?"
A small smile formed on Nemu's face as she heard the compliment.
Ichigo began to actually relax. Between the tasty food and the comforting massage he was content and for a brief moment he actually forgot about all the chaos has life had experienced in the last few days.
"What are you two doing? Get away from him!"
The shortest of shortest brief moments unfortunately.
Rukia stormed over the group looking completely livid. "The two of you should not be standing next to Ichigo treating him like some kind of king" she said pushing the other two aside.
"Jeez Rukia, what is your problem?"
Nemu looked over at Rukia and studied her expression for a moment. "I believe she is jealous of all the attention we are giving to you Ichigo-sama"
"What?" Ichigo and Rukia cried out together.
"Nemu, I think that you might be mistaken" Isane said quickly trying to get her to stop.
Nemu did not seem to pick up the hint, "Her heart rate has increased, her face is bright red and her tone of voice clearly indicates anger and hostility. This only just now occurred when we were near Ichigo in close proximity and interacting with him in a somewhat intimate fashion. Would these symptoms not suggest jealousy?"
Rukia looked over at the two of them, "Okay, first off, I am not jealous. Secondly, I'm doing this for your own safety. If the two stay around Ichigo, he'll end doing something perverted to you"
Ichigo took a deep breath. "Look Rukia, I'm sorry about that incident"
"Incident?" Rukia asked her voice menacing.
"Incidents" Ichigo corrected, "But they were accidents. That's all. For the last time, I am not a pervert"
"I still think you're a pervert" Hiyori called out form the contestant area where everyone had stopped playing to watch the fight.
"Shut up! I never asked you. You're the one that keeps answering those questions about me!" Ichigo tilted his head to the side to look back at her. "Are you stalking me or something?"
"Like hell. I'm not even trying to win this thing. Your life is just made up of stupid random crap."
"Take that back!"
"Why don't I take your head instead?" Hiyori reached for her sword, "I'm winning this game so I'm going to go claim my prize"
"Now Hiyori-chan, you're not actually allowed to kill the prize" Urahara interupted, "How about I let you have the UUTTLGS home edition board game instead?"
Hiyori ignored him as she charged forward. Before she could reach him though, Lisa suddenly appeared in front her grabbing a hold of her arm.
"There you are" Lisa said in annoyance at her fellow vizard. "Did you forget that it's your turn to make breakfast today? Mashiro, she's down here!"
"I don't have time for that!" Hiyori yelled, "I'm about to finally get my revenge on Ichigo!"
Lisa turned and looked over at the chained up Ichigo before glancing back at Hiyori. A smirk formed on her face "Revenge, huh?"
"Not like that!"
"You know, for this kind of thing it's better if you are dressed in a dominatrix outfit. I also have a whip you could borrow if you want"
"Just get out of my way" Hiyori growled pushing Lisa off to the side.
A crash was heard from the ceiling above as Mashiro dropped down to the ground in front of Hiyori and in one swift move threw the slightly smaller girl over her shoulder.
"Put me down!"
"No. I'm hungry and I want waffles" the green haired girl replied in complete seriousness as she jumped back up into the air with Hiyori, "Bye Berry-chan and everyone else"
Lisa turned and was about to leave as well when a voice called out to her from the stands. "Lisa-sensei, is that really you?"
Nanao's eyes widened at shock at seeing someone she hadn't seen in decades since she had been a small child. Lisa stared at her for a moment before she recognized finally who it was.
"Nanao. Hey long time no see. You sure have grown a lot. Well see yeah"
"Wait" Nanao cried out but the vizard had already disappeared again.
She slumped back in her seat disappointed that she had seen one of her old role models and she was gone just as quickly as she had appeared. Yachiru reached over and laid a hand on Nanao's shoulder.
"Old girlfriend?" She asked in a comforting tone.
"What? Madam President, it's nothing like that" Nanao sputtered.
Back at his chained up chair Ichigo was still staring at the spot where Hiyori had last been. "Well that was weird"
A hand suddenly gripped his hair as Rukia forced him to look back at her. "Would you start paying attention to me?"
"You just ignored me while you were screaming at that other girl!"
"That's because she called me a pervert!"
"I just did the same thing!"
"So, you were arguing with me first! And it's rude to start arguing with someone else when you haven't finished the argument with the first person!" Rukia finished off.
"What? Rukia, do you realize how stupid that…" Ichigo voice suddenly stopped in mid sentence. A small laugh came out of him, "No way. It's true, isn't it? You really are jealous"
"I. Am. Not. Jealous!" Rukia screamed at the top of her lungs.
"Oh yeah? Prove it then" Ichigo said with a smirk as he kept laughing.
"…Fine!" Rukia shot back and in a split second that didn't involve any thought process what so ever, she grabbed his face and kissed him as deeply as possible.
Ichigo was shocked at first as he felt Rukia's lips on his but after a few moments he started kissing her back just as eagerly. The two were at it for a full minute before Rukia came back up for air.
"See? I told you I wasn't jealous" she answered proudly while everyone else just stared at the girl with muted looks of shock, "What?"
Urahara leaned in to whisper to his co-host, "First kiss wins?"
Matsumoto shrugged, "The show is almost up to the thirty minute mark"
"Ah. Well, in that case…"
Large sirens began to wail from all over the area as the sky was suddenly filled with falling balloons and confetti.
"Congratulations Rukia Kuchiki. By kissing the grand prize, you've won our top secret bonus round and have earned yourself one trillion points. That makes you today's big winner! That means tomorrow you get to have a date with Ichigo"
"Hold on. I never agreed to take anyone on a date" Ichigo argued.
Urahara smiled at him, "Well, it's either that or we'll keep you chained up down here until you do agreed"
Ichigo stared back silently at him.
"I'm debating which would be worse" Ichigo muttered.
"If you don't go I'll make Haineko babysit you Ichigo. And I'll give her everything she needs to give you a complete makeover" Matsumoto added on.
"…Alright. I'll do the stupid date"
Orihime slumped over her contestant booth. "No. I was so close"
"Oh well. It's probably for the best" Hinamori said still managing to keep a smile, "After all, Captain Aizen always said it was foolish to play games of chance"
"That's it. This place is going to burn!" Tobiume yelled out as several of the other girls tackled the arson Zanpakuto before she could launch an attack.
Urahara suddenly thrust a microphone under Rukia, "Well Miss Kuchiki, anything you would like to say to all the viewers at home? Or would you rather go give your date there another victory kiss?"
Rukia was still completely baffled by what was going on as she didn't even notice a balloon that bounced off her head. "Date? Wait…I just kissed him…and…I…date?" Rukia's expression glazed over as she actually realized what just happened and as such she promptly fainted.
"Hey, I have a question. How much longer are all you girls suppose to be here?" Ichigo asked as he stared down at the small shinigami that was now at his feet.
"This is currently the fourth day in our month long assignment" Nemu explained.
"Right. Wake me up in about four weeks or when this all turns out to be one horrible long nightmare"
And with that the mighty hero let himself fall back in the only peaceful part of his life left, the sweet embrace of unconsciousness.
Urahara walked over and looked over Ichigo, "Well I guess we can unchain him now. Hmm perhaps we should give our winner an extra prize and let the two of them sleep next to each other for a while"
"And also so we can take embarrassing blackmail pictures of them?" Matsumoto asked hopefully.
Kisuke smiled and quickly pulled out a camera. "I like the way you think my dear"