A/N: So this idea just came to me while I was working on some updates for my other pieces. I don't own ALIAS or anything affiliated with it. Slightly OC
I don't remember ever being thankful for the cold. And if I ever had been, never so much as now. I tug on the turtleneck sleeves to bring them further down my arms. Vaughn appears beside me and places his hand on the small of my back, kisses my cheek gently. Suddenly I feel the urge to scream. "How was Milan?" Of course he would have to ask, he always asks. "Fine." I respond, hoping my tone will let him know I want no part of this conversation. He nods, pretending not to notice. "Good. That's good." I smile at him placatingly. "Yeah." I start moving towards my desk when he grabs onto my wrist. I flinch with my back to him.
When I turn around, any signs of the pain are gone. I'm smiling. Story of my life.
He places a chaste kiss on my lips and I wonder what's gotten into him. He just grins at me and walks to his own desk. It isn't possible for him to know. Is it?
"Briefing in five minutes, Agent Bristow." I nod towards the voice. I have five minutes to try to collect my thoughts. I'm trying to finish my report. For some reason I just don't want to. Don't get me wrong, it was never my favorite part of my job, nor any agent I ever knew. But today I just flat out didn't want to do it. "Syd." Vaughn's voice breaks through my thoughts. For some reason it just irritates me. "What?" My voice comes out impatient and I'm not even sure why I'm snapping at him. "Are you alright?" I noticed his forehead wrinkled more when he was concerned. I never noticed how much it irked me. "Fine." The same curt answer from this morning. "The briefing's starting." I nod and move to follow him. He tries to take my hand, I pretend not to notice and look to Dixon at the head of the table.
"Alright, now that we're all here." The briefing droned on for half an hour. Another target, another top secret piece of information, another life at my hands to take. For some stupid piece of information.
I walk into my apartment and start shedding my clothing. By the time I'm done, I'm in my room searching for something more comfortable. I see the bruises that litter my arms, legs, neck, and even some on my back. And then the events of last night comes back to me. I shudder as I remember every detail. I try to shut those thoughts out and then I feel it. Someone's in the apartment with me. Instantly I start to reach for my gun in the drawer when I find it's not there. I grimace, but move slowly. Suddenly I'm on my bed. I'm trying to fight them off and then I hear it. "Sydney!" The voice is extremely agitated. All I can think is son of a bitch. I kick at him, mainly for fun. I hear him grunt and I smile wryly. The light comes on and I can see him fully now. He's carrying a pile of clothes and I am momentarily confused.
"For me?" He asks. This makes me laugh. He smiles at me and I think my heart stopped for a moment in time. The smile fades and I am worried again. I open my moth to speak and then his eyes meet mine. "Did I…" His voice trails off and I realize he's talking about the bruises. I get up off of the bed carefully. Mainly because of the pain in my muscles but also so I didn't startle him. I put my hand on his face and I catch his eye. I smile at him sweetly. No words are needed between us. His fingers trail up my arms to my shoulders and his brows furrow. "I didn't…" I put a finger on his lips. My skin is on fire and I shivered underneath his gaze.
He sighs then relaxes. It is this moment that erases all of the pain, all of the questions, all of the uncertainty of my life. We're completely unguarded. He kisses me and the whole world disappears. We're the only ones left in the whole world.
¸.•¨) ¸.•¨) ¸.•¨
Laying there, I noticed how my body fit perfectly with his. Our hands are intertwined as are our legs. Perfect. I never really did care for that word. Really what is perfection? Maybe this is all it was. "I've been thinking." I start out quietly and he places the book he's reading on the nightstand. His nightstand next to his side of the bed. He doesn't speak, let's me gather my thoughts. I close my eyes and he pulls me closer to him. I let myself get lost in his arms for another moment and then belatedly realized that he was still waiting for me. He was always waiting for me. But for how long? I sigh as the thought comes again. I wonder how long I will be enough for him. I wonder how long it will be before he leaves me like the others.
"I want out." My voice is barely above a whisper and I wonder if he's heard me for a moment. He is deathly quiet for a moment and I wonder if he'll even respond.
"Oh my darling Sydney." His voice comes out as a sigh. "They'll never let you leave even if you really meant it." I become indignant at his comment.
"We'll just disappear." I'm begging him now and he knows it.
"They'll follow us." Comes his only reply.
"Let them. I don't care. I want to be with you." I finally look up into his eyes and I see the pain that rarely ever shines through.
"Oh my dearest, darling Sydney." He always says that before he leaves. I choke back the tears. He smiles down at me and then I feel a sharp pain in my abdomen. I look down and there is blood, so much blood. There's a knife there and his hand coming off the handle. He strokes my hair.
"It would never have worked, love."
And with that he is gone.
¸.•¨) ¸.•¨) ¸.•¨
I wake up in a cold sweat and he is nowhere to be found. Shaking, my hands find my stomach. No knife, no blood. It was all a dream. I sigh as I fall back onto the pillows. I wish he would have been there when I woke up but I knew. The only signs he had been there were a pile of neatly folded clothes on his, now made-up, side of the bed and his scent on his pillow. Every time I hoped it would be different. Every time it ended the same.