A/N: I don't know if I'll live long enough while writing this to actually finish this chapter. Sunny and I are planning great things as I write this…And now it's over 12 hours later and Randal is on my TV. Note: I was at the house show where Randy got in the altercation. Reports are false. It wasn't as bad as they say. The only thing true about it was the hat thing. I was right there and I do not recall him slamming into the guardrail.
"So, do you want the good news or the bad news?"
Sunny set down her paper in the catering room. Gossip spread like wildfire in the WWE, and bad news went around even faster. She looked up at Chris, wondering why he was here of all places. While the rest of the WWE roster waited outside the Divas locker room in hopes of finding out what had happened to Maria, Sunny and Chris were alone in catering, stuffing their faces and savoring the moment of fatal glory.
"The good news is that Maria died? And is the bad news that you're actually gay for real and in love with Dave Batista?" Sunny asked, blinking up at Chris Jericho.
"Well, Maria should die," Chris stated. He pulled out a green vial out of the pocket of his pinstripe blazer. "And here is my weapon of choice."
Sunny took the vial from Chris's hands and studied it. "Chris…This is the same kind of poison I used to kill Kristen."
"Yeah, Kristen…" Chris chuckled. "That reminds me about the bad news."
"WHAT bad news?" Sunny begged to know. She was about three seconds from rolling up her newspaper and smacking Chris in the head with it, like a dog that had soiled itself in the house.
"Well, the good news is that Maria is about to be pronounced dead at any moment. That should be one less whore mackin' on your Theodore. The bad news is that you are no longer a SmackDown Diva."
"What?!" Sunny gasped, nearly spitting out her tea. "Steph is releasing me? How do you know? Jesus, I know that you and her are totally doing it behind everyone's backs, but seriously?! She told you before she told me? And you didn't try to save me? Chris, I hate you!"
Chris erupted in cruel laughter. "Hah. You're gonna wish you were really being released."
Sunny frowned. "I'm just going to ECW, aren't I? I'm going to job to Alicia Fox when she gets out of OVW? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?"
"First off," Jericho rattled, "you killed off an innocent woman because you were in love with her fiancée. Secondly, you allowed me to kill off another innocent woman because she was a hopeless flirt. Third of all, you can't get enough of the Jeri-meister. And lastly, you ARE going to ECW."
"I knew it! My life is over!" Sunny cried, her head slamming onto the table.
"Not exactly. ECW isn't touring with SmackDown any longer. They're going to be with RAW now. Welcome to Monday nights, sister. You're touring with me and Ted."
"Thundercats are GOOOOO!" Chris hollered down the hallway. Oddly enough, he was trying to yell at Sunny…who was right by his side.
"Chris, I'm right by your side," Sunny laughed, closing her compact. She had just made sure that her makeup was as horrible as possible. She was about to see Ted.
"My lord, Sunny. You look positively horrendous," Chris noticed.
"Yeah, that's the plan. Remember?"
"Ugh. Just watch me work my magic," she said, her heels clicking at a quicker pace down the hall.
"You really need to come tanning with us, Ted. You look out of place," Cody said as he and Ted walked down the hallway in Sunny's direction.
Chris tried to remain in the shadows as best as he could. But let's face it, Chris Jericho always has a spotlight on him, and he's usually the one putting it there. "Hey, sunshine, I think it would help if you trailed some toilet paper from your shoe. It really gives the whole vibe of 'I'm a sad lonely girl with no friends so I had to eat lunch in the bathroom' if you know what I'm saying."
Sunny turned around and flipped off Chris.
"Out of place? Why? Because I'm the only good looking one? I think you're out of place, Cody. Randy has the tattoos, I have the body, and what do you have? The lisp? Sorry, but I don't think we can include a twelve year old with a speech impediment in our future stable."
"I am going to ignore those comments you just made about me to make a polite observation. You seem to be in a much better mood lately. What happened?"
"Well, I was hanging out with Sun—"
"Oh, it's horrible!"
Ted broke his gaze away from Cody to look at the weeping woman in front of them. It looked as if she had been crying for days. Her mascara was running, her eyeshadow was smeared, and her hair was tousled.
"Sunny, what's wrong?" Ted asked, walking up to Sunny and putting a comforting arm around her.
"Maria…She and I were such good friends," Sunny lied, pretending to cry harder and harder.
"I'm going to go…" Cody said, and he escaped the uncomfortable situation without being detected.
Were Sunny and Maria good friends? Hell no. They weren't enemies per se, but they were most definitely not friends. Sunny wouldn't agree with people killing off her friends. Like if someone considered killing off Chris, she'd snap. No one kills Chris Jericho on Sunny's watch…
…Except maybe Ted.
But Ted didn't know that Maria and Sunny weren't friends. He wasn't on the same show as them. He had no idea what went on behind the door of the Divas locker room.
He also had no idea that he was currently holding a murderous woman in his arms. And she would stop at nothing until she made him hers.