Can I Keep Her?
Or, what if Jiraiya and Naruto were in Cloud country when Yugito was about to be nabbed by Akatsuki?
A Naruto one-shot by Andrew Joshua Talon
Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Shonen Jump, not me. I am not making profit from writing this. Also, I am totally disregarding Hachibi in the manga, because it is just that plain ridiculous. Even if he was owning Sasuke. Thank you.
- - - - -
"Seriously, just which part of 'NO' didn't you get!?"
"Probably the 'NO' part, but that's open to interpretation," Naruto replied, rubbing the back of his head with a foxy grin. Tsunade groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. She felt a headache coming on.
"Naruto... You nearly caused Secret Ninja War Four."
"Nearly! Nearly! Not actually, not really did, but nearly," Naruto defended himself. His blue eyes narrowed.
"Besides, it's not like they didn't have it coming. Yugito-chan told me-"
"Oh, so it's 'Yugito-chan' now, is it?" Tsunade asked dryly. "The moment you stick a -chan to the end of their names, everything's fine then, is that it?"
"Baa-chan, they were going to kill her! Rip out her demon! She's lucky Ero-Sennin and I were in the area!" Naruto stated. "What's worse, her own people, her own village didn't do a damn thing to help her! All this diplomatic hullabaloo's just over the fact she was rescued by us, and she's no longer serving them!"
"Exactly, Naruto. Do you know what the treaty stipulations were from the last summit of the Five Nations? The ones regarding jinchurikki?" Tsunade quipped. Naruto blinked.
"Of course you don't know! It was made top secret! Among the stipulations were that each village could only have one jinchurikki each. Just one. You were a political precedent, Naruto. Once it was known that you were the container for the Kyuubi no Youko, every other nation was scrambling to get their own 'demonic super ninjas'," Tsunade snorted.
"The treaty says that each village can only have one jinchurikki, to maintain the balace of power!"
"Yeah, so? She doesn't want to go back to her village!"
"Yes, but she can't stay here!" Tsunade groaned. "Kumo's already got it out for us for the Hyuuga Incident. They've been kept in check only because they received Hizashi's body. But, here you go and rescue their jinchurikki, bring her back here, and somehow convince her to stay when she can't! Not without Kumo declaring war, at least!"
Naruto sighed. "C'mon Baa-chan! Isn't there a loophole or something you can use?"
His pleading blue eyes tugged at Tsunade's heart strings, enough for her to look over the treaty documentation again. She hummed thoughtfully.
"Well... There is one possible out... But I'm not sure you'll like it."
"What?" Naruto asked. Tsunade smirked and templed her fingers under her chin.
The gobsmacked expression on Naruto's face was priceless.
- - - - -
"So... If I marry you, Kumo agrees not to go to war with Konoha so long as we stay married, and they get access to research on our interactions?" Yugito asked Naruto. Both demon containers stood outside Tsunade's office in the waiting room, the whiskered blond rubbing the back of his head nervously.
"Er, well, pretty much... It's an old treaty law. I'm not too sure on the research part, but the marriage is solid... So... Um..."
Naruto was engulfed in a warm hug, which he hesitantly returned. Yugito smiled happily.
"Of course I'll marry you!" She frowned thoughtfully. "Though what will we do about the research part...? I don't want our children to be dissected in some lab..."
"Children?!" Naruto gawked. Yugito tapped the side of her jaw, frowning... Before she smirked and purred.
"I have an idea," she grinned, dragging Naruto off. "First we need to see Jiraiya-sama."
"Hey, wait! Aren't we moving a bit fast?!" Naruto asked. Yugito rolled her eyes.
"We'll have plenty of time to get to know one another on the honeymoon, and if you're still not satisfied after that we can have as many concubines as you'd like."
"Concu-?! Honey-?! Don't I get any say in this?!" Naruto asked frantically.
"No, none, now come along!"
A sigh. "Yes dear..."
- - - - -
Four months later, in Kumogakure no Sato...
"What the-?! Icha Icha Catgirl: The Erotic Adventures of Two Jinchurikki in Love by Jiraiya? What the hell kind of research is this?!"
"It does look very, ahem, thorough sir..."
"This has to be a treaty violation!"
"Well, the research bit was rather vague..."
"This is what I get for having ninjas hammer out our treaties instead of lawyers! ... Holy shit... They went for two months straight?! This... How...?"
"Seems like it's only the first of ten volumes, sir..."
"... Well... It'll be... Entertaining, if nothing else... If you'll excuse me, I can better... Analyze these findings in private."
"Of course sir..."
- - - - -
Just a bit of random silliness. R&R please.